Chasing Shadows (20 page)

The snow crunched under my boots as I made my way to campus and I squinted as the rays of sun bounced off the blanket of white. I took my cell phone out of my pocket, debating my next move. I had gotten Neal's phone number last night under the guise of inviting him to join us the next time we went to the East End, and now I was trying to come up with a way to meet him again without giving him the wrong message. I quickly texted him.

Hi. It's Caitlin. Free for lunch today? I want to get your opinion about a present for my boyfriend.

There—I had managed to include a reference to Simon being my boyfriend in the text. Neal immediately texted back.

Sure. How does 1pm sound? How about Colette's?

I bit my lip. There was no way I wanted to meet Neal at Colette's. It wasn't worth the Spanish Inquisition I would get afterwards from Colleen and the other employees.

Actually, do you mind if we just meet at the cafeteria in the student center? I want to make sure I'm not late for my next class.

I pulled my collar tighter around my neck as a gust of wind blew against me as I read Neal's answer.

No problem. See you at 1pm.

I sighed with relief. I wasn't sure if my excuse of wanting to get Neal's opinion about a present for Simon was believable, but I felt that the excuse at least made it seem like I wasn't hitting on Neal.

I survived my morning classes, although it was hard not to be distracted. I had a feeling my grades were going to take a nosedive, but I couldn't worry about that now. I hurried over to the student center afterwards, checking my watch to make sure I wasn't going to be late.

The cafeteria was bustling when I arrived and I stood in front to wait for Neal. I felt a little guilty for not telling Simon that I was meeting Neal again, but I knew he had back-to-back classes on Mondays until the late afternoon, so I didn't want to bother him.

I caught site of Neal strolling towards me, his blond hair looking almost like a halo as it glinted in the sunlight. His face broke out in a wide smile when he saw me.

"Hey. Good to see you again."

I smiled, suddenly feeling nervous. "You too. Thanks for meeting me for lunch."

We didn't speak much as we navigated the cafeteria with our trays, making our selections. Neal tried to pay for my lunch, but I adamantly refused, insisting it wasn't necessary. I felt like I should pay for his lunch since I had invited him, but I thought that might send the wrong signal so I just quickly paid for my meal and waited until he was done at the cash register.

We sat down at a nearby empty table and I gave myself a mental pep talk. I could do this.

"So, I really wanted to get your opinion on a Christmas present for Simon. I don't know what to get him."

Neal opened his bottle of water and took a drink before answering me. "Why don't you ask Grant? Didn't they grow up together? As his cousin, I would think Grant would know him better than me. I just met him."

I wanted to kick myself repeatedly. I hadn't counted on Neal bringing up that point, even though I had thought of it myself.

"Well, you're right. Grant and Simon are pretty close. But Grant is the most unobservant person in the world. He has no idea what Simon would like. Grant lives and breathes the Henchmen and doesn't seem to take note of much else. He just told me to get Simon a gift card." I silently apologized to Grant for this dismal portrayal of him.

Neal grinned as he started eating his sandwich. "Then I have a feeling Sarah is going to have plenty of disappointments in her future. Although I can't lie—I once gave a girlfriend a gift card for Valentine's Day. She told me I was the most unromantic person in the world and threw it at me. I guess it didn't help that it was a gift card for a local hardware store." Neal shrugged, his eyes sparkling. "She had mentioned that she wanted to paint her bedroom a different color, so I thought it was an appropriate gift. My only excuse for my lack of imagination is that I was a sophomore in high school."

I laughed, feeling some of the tension dissipate due to Neal's self-deprecating attitude. I was lucky that Neal was such a nice guy. I couldn't imagine how much more difficult it would be to stay close to him if he had been an arrogant jerk.

"So, any suggestions?" I started eating my salad, feeling better about the whole situation.

"Obviously, Simon likes music. How about something music related?"

"Like what?"

Neal thought for a moment before speaking. "Do you play any instruments?"

"The piano. Simon is always trying to get me to play for him, but I'm pretty rusty so I always make excuses."

"How about if you write him a song and sing it for him along with playing the piano? Simon doesn't strike me as the type of guy who wants material things."

I was surprised by Neal's suggestion on many levels. I didn't think he was so perceptive as to realize what type of guy Simon was from just a couple of encounters. I knew he was right when he said that Simon didn't want material things. But I was also surprised by the romance of his idea. It didn't sound like something a typical guy would suggest.

"That's actually a pretty good idea. But Simon's the songwriter, not me."

Neal gave me an easy grin. "I could help you out. I'm no songwriter, but I've dabbled a little in poetry."

The thought of writing a love song with Neal, even if it was about Simon, seemed a little too intimate, but it was a perfect excuse to spend more time with him. "That's a great idea. I know Sarah would want to help too. You both can help me." I patted myself on the back for including Sarah. It would be much safer to hang out with Neal with Sarah along.

I told myself that I imagined the corners of Neal's mouth turning down. It was gone so quickly that I was sure it hadn't really happened. He gave me an agreeable smile. "Sure, sounds good."

I was concentrating on my salad when Neal spoke again.

"Caitlin, are you interested in me?"

I choked, spluttering as I dropped my fork and grabbed my water, taking a large swallow. The last thing I had expected was for Neal to be so up front in asking about my intentions. I took a deep breath before answering. Maybe it was a good thing he was laying everything out in the open.

"I think you're a great guy, Neal," I said slowly, choosing my words with care. "But I'm with Simon."

Neal's gaze was disconcerting. It nowhere near matched the intensity of Simon's gaze, but it was piercing nonetheless.

"Your attention has just been a little confusing. I wasn't sure what the relationship was between you and Simon when you first approached me, but I could have sworn you asked me over for dinner because you were interested in me. But then when I got to your place, it was obvious you and Simon were together." Neal rubbed his chin contemplatively. "And I don't know what to make of this lunch."

I gave Neal a weak smile and tried to salvage my train wreck of an attempt to befriend Neal. "I'm sorry if I've been giving you mixed signals. I didn't mean to. I guess I'm a little clumsy socially." I took a deep breath before forging ahead. "I know you don't remember our conversation at the East End, but you just seemed like a really nice guy and I don't make friends easily."

"But it seems like you already have great friends."

I nodded. "I do. But outside of my boyfriend, Grant and Sarah, and a couple of other friends you haven't met yet, I rarely interact with anyone else." I shrugged, feeling foolish. "I just felt like it was time to make some new friends. I'm sorry if that seems a little weird to you."

I held my breath as Neal processed my explanation. I was relieved when he seemed to accept it with a smile. "Hey, I'm not one to refuse the offer of friendship."

I smiled widely, a genuine smile this time. "Now that that's out of the way, I really did want to continue our conversation about surfing."

I listened to Neal talk enthusiastically about surfing. Even though I had no interest in the sport, Neal was obviously passionate about it and he made it interesting. I was engrossed in his description about various trips he had taken to different countries to go surfing when I felt someone standing beside the table. I looked up and saw Marcus standing there awkwardly.

"Hi, Marcus!"

"Hey, Caitlin." His eyes slid over to Neal who had stopped talking at my greeting.

"Neal, this is my friend Marcus." Marcus and Neal exchanged nods and then Marcus looked back at me, almost with a frown. It was an expression I rarely saw on Marcus' normally agreeable face.

"Why don't you join us?" I asked.

Marcus shook his head. "I already ate. I just saw you as I was leaving." He glanced at Neal again before speaking. "I have to get to class. I'll see you later."

"Well, that was a little uncomfortable," Neal said when Marcus left. I wondered at Marcus' reaction, hoping that he didn't think there was anything going on between Neal and me. None of my friends were used to seeing me with guys outside of our group, so it didn't really surprise me that Marcus had been surprised, but I thought he knew me better than that. I inwardly groaned at the thought of Marcus telling Simon that he had seen Neal and me together.

I pushed the thought aside, focusing back on Neal. "Don't worry about it. I think Marcus was just in a hurry."

Neal nodded, not looking convinced. I had a hard time paying attention during the rest of lunch because I kept wondering what Marcus would tell Simon.

Chapter Twenty

I had one more class after lunch so I called Simon as I walked over to the lecture hall. The phone barely rang once before he picked up.

"Where are you right now?" I could tell by the tone of his voice that Marcus had already spoken to him.

"I'm on my way to my marketing class."

Simon didn't waste any time cutting to the chase. "Marcus said he saw you and Neal looking pretty cozy eating lunch."

I sighed, knowing that this was going to be blown out of proportion. "Simon, I just met him for lunch at the student center. You know I have to keep close to him."

"I told you that I didn't want you seeing him without me around."

"Simon, be reasonable. You can't always be around. You have back-to-back classes all day today so I didn't want to bother you."

"Caitlin, I've been humoring you about getting close to California Ken. But I explicitly told you not to hang around him without me. He could be dangerous."

My temper started to rise at Simon's dictatorial tone and his mockery of Neal. "Simon, I told you before that you can't control me.
I'm
the one that has to protect Neal, not you. I explicitly told him today that I wasn't interested in him and that I was with you."

Simon's voice was low when he spoke. "I'm coming over tonight and we're talking about this in person."

I had invited Neal over to the apartment tonight to start helping me write a song for Simon. He wouldn't expect Simon to be there since this was supposed to be a surprise for him, but there was no way I was telling Simon that. As annoyed as I was by his high-handedness, I realized that would push Simon too far.

"What about Kendra? Is she going to twiddle her thumbs alone at your place while you berate me?"

"Don't use her as an excuse. I'll see you tonight."

I knew there was no way to convince Simon not to come over. I also knew that he would be much angrier if he saw Neal at my place without warning.

"Okay, but Neal is coming over tonight."

There was a prolonged silence, the tension so palpable that the air was practically vibrating through the phone.

Simon's voice was harsh as he asked the question he had opened the conversation with again. "Where are you right now?"

I glanced around me, as if I expected him to suddenly materialize. "Simon, I can't talk about this right now. I have to get to class. I'll see you later."

I hung up before he could respond, turning the ringer on my phone to silent before dropping it in my bag. A part of me felt guilty, that I wasn't being fair to Simon. If the roles were reversed, I would be feeling pretty crappy about Simon spending time with another girl. But I would understand that he was trying to save her
life,
not get into her pants. At least, I hoped I would.

I was grateful that my next class was a lecture so that I didn't have to really pay attention. I kept replaying the conversation with Simon over and over again, feeling worse and worse about it. Maybe I could blame it on the fact that I didn't have much relationship experience, but I felt like a lousy girlfriend.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't hear the door in the front of the lecture hall open. I was shocked when all of a sudden I saw Simon approach my professor, daring to interrupt his lecture. My professor looked less than pleased at Simon's interruption, but then he started nodding when Simon spoke to him, although they were too far away for me to hear what he was saying. Simon started scanning the lecture hall until his eyes stopped on me, skewering me to my seat.

He walked methodically up the aisle towards me as heads swiveled to watch him. I wasn't sure if they were watching him because of his intensity, his eyes never leaving mine as he walked closer, or if it was because they recognized the lead singer of the Henchmen. Simon was practically a celebrity at our small school and attracted stares wherever he went.

I was sitting next to the aisle so he didn't have to clamber through seats to get to me. I watched dumbfounded as he grabbed my hand, pulling me up. His action broke me out of my reverie.

"Simon, what are you doing?" I hissed, flushing as I felt everyone's eyes on me. "You can't just drag me out in the middle of class!"

Simon didn't respond as he pulled on my hand and I knew not following him would cause an even bigger scene. I just barely had enough time to grab my bag and coat before he dragged me outside.

When we finally made it outside the building, I ripped my hand out of his. "There is seriously something wrong with you. You can't just walk into class and drag me out! What will my professor think?"

Simon turned to face me, his blue eyes glittering. "I told your professor you had an emergency."