Chase the Storm (12 page)

Noon came and went with no sign of Chase, so I skipped lunch and continued to work around the barns and pasture, scrubbing buckets, dusting cobwebs, banging brushes, and organizing and tidying the tack and feed rooms. It wasn’t until late afternoon, when I was getting a drink from the hose, that he pulled up. All it took was one leather-booted foot stepping onto the ground to make me yearn for him. I jogged over and saw the groceries and supplies inthe back ofhis truck.

Ignoring me, he lifted two bags and walked toward the house. Defeated, I returned to the barn and sat on the stairs, reminding myself to not give up.

Needing a distraction, I fetched Lakota from the field and crosstied him in the aisle. Snatching his grooming kit, I ran a curry comb over his shiny bay coat in a circular motion before running a soft brush along his neck, chest, back, and flanks like Chase had taught me. I detangled his mane and tail and then picked his feet. Being the well-behaved horse he was, he waited patiently for me to finish, only occasionally flicking his tail at a fly. As I placed the blanket and saddle onhis back, I spoke to him.

“Are all men like this, buddy?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. “Because I’mprettyfuckingclueless about what I’mdoinghere and could use some advice.” His only reply was to stomp his foot. “Thanks, but that doesn’t help. I just wish I knew what to do, what he wants me to do. I wishhe would talk to me.”

Once the saddle was on and the cinch tightened, I slipped off his halter and replaced it with his bridle. I latched the curb strap, led himout of the barn to the ring, and mounted him. Urging him forward, I drew up the reins and thought back to my first time on him. I’d been afraid to be up so highwithso muchpower under me, but after a monthofriding, I felt much more comfortable. Out of habit, he walked along the rail, and I enjoyed the soothing rocking motion of his body. Afew circles of the ring later, I nudged him into a jog. While his gait was smooth, I still felt like I was bouncing around too much, though Chase had assured me I wasn’t. Holdingmyreinhand steady, myother layonmythighas we crisscrossed the ringa few times. Lakota never balked or shied at anythingI asked him to do evenwhenthe heat created lather onhis chest and shoulders.

It was the first time I’d ridden without Chase instructing me, and I felt brave doing it alone. Gaining confidence with each completion of the ring, I dug my heels into Lakota’s side, and he snorted before breaking into a lope. It was a relatively slow pace, but a breeze blew across my face, and with it, a sense of freedom. I still longed to gallop through the fields and feel the wind whipping by as the horse’s hooves pounded the ground, like Chase had the day of the tornado, but I wasn’t quite ready for that yet. EasingLakota back to a walk, I released the reins and let him have his head. Leaningforward, I scratched under his mane.

Ashiver of awareness went through my body, and lifting my head, I saw Chase standing at the entrance to the barn. He seemed tense, his hands on his hips, his jaw set as he glowered at me. I raised my hand and gave hima little wave, but by the time I put my hand down, he was gone. Stopping near the gate, I dismounted and pulled the reins over Lakota’s head before leading him toward the barn, ready to face the rage I was sure was coming. I’d just stepped inside when I heard his voice booming fromthe other end ofthe barn.

When I looked back up the barn was empty. I took off Lakota’s tack and then rinsed him with the hose, almost laughing when he sprayed me with the excess water he shook off. Once he was back in his stall, I put grain in their buckets and then brought everyone in but Admiral. After shuttingoffthe lights and closingthe door halfway, I headed for the house, lookingforward to some food. Brushingthe hayoffmyshirt, I took offmy hat and headed inside. Maybe I could get Chase to talk to me over dinner.

The kitchen was empty when I walked in, but there was a plate of chicken and rice on the island. Perhaps I should have been thankful he’d evenmade me a plate, but myheart clenched painfullyand rage filled me.

Out ofanger and frustration, I picked up the dishand threw it against the cupboards. Smashing into pieces, it fell to the floor, ceramic shards mixingwiththe food. Wildly, I looked around for somethingelse to throw, disappointed when I found nothing. Closing my eyes, I took a few deep breaths to calmmyself, so absorbed I never heard himapproach.

Facing him, my anger returned vehemently. “What the fuck do you want fromme, Chase? Tell me,” I demanded furiously. “Do you want me to go? Stay? What? Just tell me….” My voice hushed to a whisper. “Please.”

Standing completely still, he captured me with an icy blue gaze. The storminess I’d grown used to seeing in his eyes intensified as he searched myownfor answers. I relaxed, but myheart stillraced. Ifhe told me what he wanted, I would do it. I didn’t want to cause him pain, but walking away from the possibility of us was something I realized I couldn’t do alone. I needed him to tell me to go. Daringly, I reached toward him, fingers outstretched hopefully. Just before my tips grazed the skin of his forearm, he stepped back out of reach, shaking his head. The trance broken by my need to touch him, he turned and left me once again. It seemed I watched him walk away from me a hell of a lot more than he walked toward me.

The next few days passed in the same manner. I worked my ass off tryingto anticipate his needs and nothingI did was ever done wellenough. My riding lessons stopped completely, we no longer ate lunch or dinner together, and any conversation I attempted to start was quickly halted by silence or a one-word answer that prohibited further discussion. Often I would find myself watching him, usually out of his sight, as he went about his day around the farm, although he avoided me as much as possible. Each day I thought I would be up and in the barn before himonly to walk out the front door and find the barn light already on. When he needed my help with hay, he rode the tractor while I gathered the bales. He never once looked behind himor spoke to me.

Yet, I remained faithful. Late at night in my room, my thoughts ventured to running away again, to what I might find beyond the farm, but then I saw his face, the torment in his eyes, and I knew I couldn’t leave him. Despite how awful things were, the pull I felt toward him strengthened with each day, with each glance I might be lucky enough to receive. No matter how close or far away he was, I couldn’t deny my hunger for him. I was simplydrawnto him.

Saturday night, I entered the house after my evening chores and found pork chops on a plate. Sighing, I sat on a stool and ate them, sipping the lemonade I’d pulled from the refrigerator. I could hear Chase in his office, typing and moving papers. Finished eating, I washed my dishes and headed upstairs. We were in the middle of a heat wave, the mercury rising into the low hundreds the previous four days. Damp grime covered every part of me, and I couldn’t wait to take a cold shower. In my room, I took off my shirt and undid my pants, sliding them down to step out of them. Peeling off my briefs and socks, I welcomed the slight reliefbeingnaked gave me and walked across the hallto the bathroom.

I turned on the faucet and stepped inside, the water spraying on my head and face. For a few minutes, I let the water run down me, refreshing my heated body and washing off the top layer of dirt. I shampooed my hair, and then, trying to remain in the shower as long as possible, slowly soaped my body, scrubbing away the day before rinsing. Finally feeling clean, I turned off the tap and got out before shaking the water from my hair, wrapping a towel around my hips and going to my room. Night had fallen, but the temperature was still high and the breeze coming in through the open windows did nothing to cool my room. Dropping the towel to the floor, I fellonto mybed sprawled onmyback, mylids closingbefore I could stop them.

on my bed. I was about to fall back to sleep when a loud bang snapped my eyes open. A bolt of lightning brightened my room, and I saw him standinginmydoorway.

He was naked, his cock hanging thick and heavy between his legs, hair sleeplessly mussed and sticking out in every direction. Thunder clapped outside but he remained still. I couldn’t make out his features in the darkness, the anguish in his eyes or the anger in his jaw, but I felt his gaze track up my body from my feet to my face, leaving goose bumps in its wake. I shivered under the tortured stare as my cock came to life. Another flash of light, and for a few precious seconds I saw his own hardeninglengthand his hands fistinginresistance byhis side.

I wanted to speak to him, but I didn’t dare move for fear of scaring him away. There was a boom of thunder, close enough to shake the house, but he remained fixated. The longer he stayed, the more my heart swelled with hope. If I could just get him to talk to me, touch me. Lightning streaked, briefly revealing the pain and confusion that dampened his face. I wanted nothing more than to hold him, wrap myselfprotectively around him, and chase away his pain with kisses and murmurs and promises of never leaving. Fighting the urge to blurt out my love for him, I lifted a hand, invitinghiminto myroom, mybed.

With everything I was, I wanted to feel him take me again, feel his cock inside me as we made love. Even if it was only a fuck for him, a natural release, I would take it. I would take anything he was willing to give me.

The next flash of light revealed his gaze dropping to my outstretched hand reaching for him before falling to the floor, away from me. By the time the next clap of thunder exploded, he was gone, nothing more than a whisper in the gusts of wind swirling into my room. Sighing, I habitually gripped my erection, lazily pumping it a few times before releasing it and shiftingonto myside.

No matter how much Chase tried to deny it, there was a shift in the air, a new kind of tension that had nothing to do with me fucking up as his employee. Perhaps it was why he avoided me. Maybe it wasn’t the pain I caused, but rather the temptation I provided. Intermittent flashes lit my room followed closely by rolling thunder. Finally, the rain fell and the air immediately cooled. Not bothering to cover up, I stared out the window untilthe sound ofthe rainfallsoothed me back to sleep.

T
HE
next day went much like the previous ones had. I arrived at the barn early to find him already there. The only sounds filling the barn were the horses chewing their grain and pawing impatiently to be let out. Cursing to myselfunder my breath, I joined himin turning out the horses. There were no words spoken between us. There was no need for them, our morning routine was wellrehearsed. Every time I passed him, my heart would skip a beat even ifwe weren’t anywhere near each other. Just the way he kept his chin down, using his hat to shield his tempestuous eyes from me, was enoughto make mybodyhum.

Many times, I wanted to ask him about the night before, why he’d come to me naked, but I bit my lip when the words tried to escape. I’d viewed waking up and finding him watching me as progress, but the cold shoulder treatment the next morningwas evidence I was wrong.

Immediately after the horses were outside, I began mucking out the stalls. The heat that had broken with the rain had returned, and even though the sun had just risen, the mercury had already climbed into the low nineties. Leaving the pitchfork against the stall, I pulled my T-shirt over my head, tossing it out into the aisle on Jet’s grooming kit before continuing with his stall. Chase walked through the barn a few times, not once glancing in my direction. I turned on the radio, blasting the country music that was growing on me despite my initial dislike of it. Suddenly I could relate to every word sung about heartbreak and loss. I continued to work, trying hard to ignore Chase working on one of the small tractors at the end of the barn. Every time I walked by with a full wheelbarrow, I forced my eyes to the manure pile and away from how his worn jeans curved around his ass when he bent over the front of the green tractor. The sun blazed down on me as I dumped the manure and swung the wheelbarrow around, my eyes automatically drawn to his form. I expected to find his head buried inthe engine, his arms stretched out as he worked onthe greasyparts.

He was bendingover the machine, but his head wasn’t down, hidden by the brim of his hat. It was up and he was watching me. I stumbled, bumping my thigh against the handle of the wheelbarrow and blushing under his scrutiny. I wasn’t sure if he was checking to make sure I was doing the job correctly or for some other reason, but he lowered his eyes greedily down my bare torso, pausing at my hips before he quickly returned his concentrationto the engine.

Rushingpast him, I entered the barnand released the breaththat had gotten caught in my throat fromhis blatant attention. It had only taken that brief look to send my pulse racing. Bravely, I glanced over my shoulder, but his head was behind the body of the tractor. Dropping the wheelbarrow in front ofthe next stall, I picked up the pitchfork and began to clean. I lost myselfinthe repetitive movements, mythoughts wandering, as theyalways did, to Chase. EventhoughI’d onlycaught glimpses ofhim in the flashes of lightning, I could summon every line of his body with perfect clarity. In the few hours I’d been in his bed, felt his body on me and in me, I’d memorized each inch. I could pretend to ignore him and fight what I felt for him every second I was there, but in the end it was useless.

Forcing myself to think about something besides the images of him naked and hard, I swung my hips back and forth with the faster song playing. The jeans, which used to fit perfectly, now hung loose on me, sagging below my hips and exposing the band of my briefs, but it didn’t matter. Out in the middle of nowhere with only one man who was doing his best to ignore me, I could have mucked the stalls bare-assed and it wouldn’t have mattered. Shaking my hair from my face, I mumbled the words to the song.