Captured Love (16 page)

Actually, I felt worse.

Inside, Jason, Luke, and I went directly to the bar while Ethan scoured the place for his girl. The guys bought beers and I got a Coke. With our drinks in hand, we leaned on the bar and looked out at the crowd. I saw lots of familiar faces—USC students who liked to party too much, old high school friends, other bike or car racers, my father’s customers—and some that I didn’t know, mostly current high school students.

“Is it just me, or are we getting too old for this?” Jason asked.

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Luke laughed. “Dude, you both are twenty-three. I’m twenty-two. In my opinion, these kids should be in bed by now and leave the partying to us.”

“Agreed.” I raised my Coke in a mock-ing toast and took a sip.

Noah appeared by my side. “Hey, you.

Got out of curfew?”

I groaned. He knew that my curfew was for weekdays only. “Hey,” I said. “What are you doing here?”

“It was this or watch a movie at my apartment.” He leaned on the bar beside me.

“Besides, I work six days a week. This is the only way to meet the ladies.”

“Right.” I looked at my friends. Ethan was nowhere to be seen, and Jason and Luke were talking about the next bike show in two weeks. I missed those. I missed riding, racing. I missed the anticipation, the prepara-tion, the adrenaline. I sighed. I missed a lot of things.

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“I already have my eyes on a girl though,” Noah said, drawing my attention back to him. He finished his beer and slapped the empty bottle on the counter.

“I’m going to make my move. Wish me luck.” He walked into the crowd and I watched him. I pitied the girl who was going to receive his attention. I hoped that she would have some wits and ignore him.

Noah strolled across the edge of the dance floor and stopped by a table halfway to the stage. He poked the arm of a girl and she turned to him.

My blood chilled.

The cup slipped from my hand and broke on the floor between my feet.

Luke frowned at me. “Dude, what the hell?”

Teeth gritted, I marched to where Jessica was seated with Brianna and Lindsey, and some idiots falling over them. My rage, the rage I fought so hard to control, was 272/504

slipping through the cracks, filling my veins, fueling my being.

A firm hand gripped my upper arm and pulled me back.

I was ready to punch the sucker, but Jason was ready for that. He deflected my hand, and grabbed my shoulders.

“Calm down,” Jason said, his eyes on mine.

“Calm down?” I spat. “Have you seen who is here? My sister. With your sister.” I looked up at Luke over Jason’s shoulder.

“Your sister too. And there are guys all over them.”

“Jessica is twenty. I can’t order her around,” Jason said.

“Well, Brianna is sixteen. She shouldn’t be here.” I jerked his arm away from me and turned back to the girls’ table.

Luke halted in front of me. “Dude, just

… don’t go all Hulk on them. We can keep an eye on them from here.”

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“I say we’re failing at it already.” Jason shook his head. “We did worse things when we were sixteen.”

“We are guys. We were supposed to do stupid things.” I flinched at my words. I had been the stupidest of all.

“Dude, I’m with you,” Luke said. “I don’t like seeing them here or the guys fawn-ing over them. But you gotta rein in your anger.”

“Yeah, Ryan, Luke is right. Please, calm down.”

Easier said than done. Red blinded me, and all I could think about was punching the guy drooling over Brianna. She was young and pretty and naive, like Jess was at that age, and I knew she was going to have her heart broken not once, but many times. It was part of life. But I wanted to protect her. I couldn’t let a jerk, a jerk like I had been to Jess, ruin her.

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However, as much as I was dying to break that guy’s teeth, I would also have to be crazy to give Noah a black eye. Seeing Brianna out made me too overprotective, in-sanely so, but seeing Jessica out made me jealous.

I clenched my fists.

Pushing past my two best friends, I marched to the table. “Good evening,” I said loud enough to be heard above the pounding music.

Brianna’s eyes widened, the guy beside her squirmed, and Jessica’s face paled.

“Ryan.” Noah’s smile fell. “What’s up?” I glared at my sister. “Brianna. Come with me.”

“But I-I …”

I reached out to grab her arm and pull her with me, but Jessica jumped off her chair and stood in my way. I couldn’t help but notice the way her tight jeans hugged her hips and how the blue backless blouse made her 275/504

eyes pop even in this dim place. Fuck, she was beautiful.

She stared me, a hard expression on her pretty face. “She’s here with me.”

“I don’t care. This isn’t a place for her.” Jessica snorted. “Don’t give me that bullshit. She’s not a kid anymore.” I leaned closer to her, our faces inches apart. It was hard not to stare at her lips. “I don’t care.”

She pressed her warm hands on my chest and pushed me away. “Back off, Ryan.

I’m watching her.”

“You’re doing one hell of a job.”

“She’s just talking to the guy. Nothing else. I won’t let her sneak off with him or anything like that.”

“I swear, if she gets hurt in any way.” Jessica tilted her head, as if appraising me. “Good to see you actually care about someone.”

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Her words were like a punch to the stomach. If only she knew how much I had cared about her. “I—”

The band hopped on stage and the vo-calist started talking, introducing the band.

Good too, because I had no idea what I was about to say to her.

Focusing my thoughts, I continued, “I’ll be watching.”

I hoped that she thought I meant I would be watching Brianna, not her. The truth was, I would be watching both.

I whirled on my heels, glaring at Noah for a second, and then went back to where Jason and Luke stood, ready to intercede if needed. Sometimes I wanted to kick their asses for being all over me, but I knew they meant well. They were protecting me, helping me, and I appreciated that, even if I didn’t say it out loud.

The three of us went back to the bar.

“Better now?” Jason asked.

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“Didn’t you say she has a boyfriend?” I asked, still looking at Jessica.

“I think so.” Jason tilted his head. “If she has a boyfriend or two, it shouldn’t bother you, don’t you think?”

Grunting, I gestured to the bartender.

“Can I get a shot of whiskey?”

“Not better, then,” Jason said.

I groaned. “Make that two shots.”
Chapter Fifteen

Jessica

Who did he think he was marching to our table and acting like an overprotective bull? Poor Brianna. Her guy didn’t know where to hide now.

Noah shifted beside me. “So,” he started. “Do you want to dance?”

“Hmm.” I wanted to say no, but I didn’t want to be too direct. Damn, I hated being a jerk.

“Hey, girl!” Rachel’s voice came from behind me. I had never been so glad to see one of my friends before. She smiled at Noah. “Hi. I’m Rachel.”

Noah extended his hand to her, introducing himself to her.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Well, family dinner was boring, and I wasn’t in the mood to just crawl in bed and 279/504

sleep. I remembered your message earlier today about coming here, so I decided to come too.”

“That’s great. I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.” She looked at the band on stage. “They aren’t bad.”

I laughed. “Not really.”

Noah stood from his chair. “I’ll be right back.” He walked away, and I let out a long breath.

Rachel took his place. “Who is that?”

“I don’t really know him.” I glanced over my shoulder. His head down, Noah was going to the bar, right beside where my brother, my cousin, and Ryan were. I met Ryan’s hard eyes and shivered. Was he watching me? I turned my gaze back to my friend. “He has been at Alan’s office a few times. I know he’s Ryan’s supervisor at Habitat for Humanity.”

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“Oh.” She grabbed my beer from my hand and took a sip. “How ironic. Now the guy is hitting on you in front of Ryan.” I shrugged. “I doubt Ryan cares.” As I said it, I wasn’t sure of my own words. He had acted like a big brother just now, but there had been more there. I had felt it. Or was it wishful thinking? Not that I wanted him to be jealous, but it would be nice to see him pay for what he had done.

She finished my beer. “I think he does.” I was about to ask why she thought that, when Lindsey asked Rachel to take a picture of their whole group.

“Sure,” Rachel answered, taking Lindsey’s phone. Rachel and Phoebe also handed theirs to Rachel, asking the same thing. She passed one to me. “Help me here.” I stared at the phone, as if it was catch-ing fire. “Hm.”

“Please.” Rachel dropped one of the phones in my hand. “Just help me here.” 281/504

“But …”

“They aren’t taking pictures of you, Jess. Just aim and shoot, very simple. Don’t overthink this. Please.”

“Hey, we’re waiting here,” one of the girl’s friends shouted in a joking tone, but I flinched nonetheless.

“Come on,” Rachel whispered. “I know you can do it.”

With trembling hands, I turned the phone over and searched for the camera app.

Even though I hadn’t taken a picture in almost four years, I still knew how to operate a camera. My heart sped as I lifted the phone in front of me. I focused on my task, thinking of it as if it were an assignment for class.
Just
get it over with. Don’t overthink it.
My hands still shook as I pressed the snap button a couple of times and handed the phone back to its owner.

“Thanks,” Brianna said with a big smile.

I just nodded.

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Rachel bumped my shoulder with hers.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“No, but …” I looked down at my hands.

The tremor was almost gone.

What was wrong with me? Seriously. All this drama because of pictures. They were pictures, for goodness sake.

Rachel squeezed my hand briefly. With a small smile, I looked at her, but something else caught my eye. Someone else. A blonde walked past behind Rachel. Caryn. She wore a too tight red dress that barely covered her boobs and her ass, and hooker heels. Her lips were red and her eyes had too much eye shadow. She stared right at me, smiled, and winked. My blood boiled. What a bitch.

She kept on walking, like a drunk model on a wobbly catwalk, until she reached the bar. She squeezed between Ryan and Ethan—I didn’t know he was here—making sure her body brushed against Ryan’s.

Nausea rolled in my stomach.

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I turned my face to the band, but I didn’t actually see the young guys on stage.

All I saw was those damn pictures in that damn photo album.

“She’s such a bitch,” Rachel said.

“I know.”

I tried not looking back, but I guess I was a masochist. I wanted to suffer.

Still leaned on the bar, Caryn sipped a red drink. She was now facing Ryan, her pouting lips and her batting eyes turned to him. A mix of jealousy, disappointment, and rage swam inside me.

She reached to him and ran her fingers over his chest. With furrowed brows, Ryan snatched her hand and shoved it back at her.

He said something to her through gritted teeth. She stared at him with wide eyes and a hanging jaw. Ryan took a shot from behind him, downed it, and then stepped away from Caryn.

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He halted when his eyes met mine. The knot in his forehead deepened, and his lips pressed into a thin line. My cheeks burned, and I snapped my head back to the stage.

Again, I didn’t actually see the band up there, but I pretended I did.

“Ryan can’t stand Caryn,” Rachel said.

She bobbed her head to the beat of the song.

“Since you left, she’s been trying to get together with him, but he simply shuns her.

Sometimes, he’s even rude to her.” I frowned at her. “Why are you telling me this?”

“I thought you would like to know that.”

“And why is that?”

“The way you were just looking at them.

At Ryan. You can lie to my face all you want.

I know the truth now.”

“The truth?”

“That you still like. … No, that you still
love
him.”

“W-what? That’s crazy.”

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“See? You’re doing it again. Lying to my face. And the worst part? Your eyes, your voice, they betray you.”

“I’m not lying!”

She laughed. “I should get mad, but I won’t. You know why? Because I don’t think you’re actually aware of your feelings. You think you’re only mad at him, scarred by him, that what you feel is because you two have unresolved issues, but it’s more than that. You still love him.”

“You’re crazy,” I said. Wanted or not, Rachel put my mind to work. What if she was right? What if I wasn’t only mad at him and scarred about what he had done? What if I wasn’t just attracted to his beauty and his hot body? What if there was more? “I can’t be in love with him,” I muttered.

“Okay, before you give yourself a heart attack or an aneurysm, forget what I said.

Sleep on it, and think about it tomorrow.

Meanwhile, we’re going to have fun.” Rachel 286/504

picked up my empty bottle from the table and tsked. “But first, I’m going to get us some drinks.”

She jumped off the stool and weaved to the bar.

Her words stayed with me though.
You
still love Ryan
. That wasn’t true. That couldn’t be true. All I felt was sadness, anger, and a bit of lust. I mean, come on, the guy was hot. It was hard to look at him and not feel anything. But that was all. There was no love there, nothing. There couldn’t be.

Lindsey nudged me with her elbow.

“Earth to Jessica?”

I shook my head and looked at her.

“Yes?” Their friends—and the guys flirting with them—were gone. “Where’s everyone?”

“After my brother played the enraged ape, everyone got tense,” Brianna said. “It didn’t take long for them to leave.”

“Sorry,” I said.

She shrugged.

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Rachel came back with two beer bottles.