Captured Love (15 page)

Getting closer, I noticed it was messed up, like it had been in a bad accident, and he hadn’t bothered to fix it yet.

“What happened?” I asked. When he didn’t answer, I turned around. His hazel eyes were hard on mine. “Is that why you 250/504

don’t ride it anymore? Because both of your bikes are in need of work?”

Ryan grabbed a black shirt from one of the folding chairs and pulled it over his head.

What a shame. His jaw ticked. “Look, I don’t mind bumping into you every now and then, but intentionally? I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

I flinched. Wow, why was he such a jerk? I was the one who should be mad at him, and I still was, but I was trying to get past it, to move on. He didn’t have the right to be mad at me. I had done nothing but love him. If that made him mad, well, then he should learn not to play with girls’ hearts.

“I thought I was doing you a favor by trying to be nice, by trying to put the past behind us. I don’t think we’ll ever be friends again, but if we can co-exist for the next two months, for the sake of our friends, don’t you think it’ll be better than trying to avoid each other and failing?”

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His chest rose and fell slowly. “Jess …”

“I don’t know what you’re mad about.

I’m the one who is mad at you, Ryan. I’m the one who suffered here. Don’t pretend I hurt you, because we both know it was exactly the opposite.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Then tell me. What is it?” I took a step closer to him. I thought he would retreat, but he held his ground, his eyes fixed on mine.

“Everyone keeps telling me
something
happened to you after I left and that I should talk to you about it.”

He glanced over his shoulder to the street, then back at me. “You should go.” If I were still sixteen, I would have teared up and ran from the garage as if it were on fire. I wasn’t sixteen anymore, though, and the events that sent me away had changed me. A lot. It wasn’t in my plans 252/504

to come back home and face my past, but now that I was here, I wasn’t running away.

I crossed my arms and lifted my chin, putting as much strength as I could in my stare. “No. I want to know. You owe me that much.”

Ryan clenched his fists and groaned.

“Jess, please, just leave this alone.”

“All right. I can’t force you to tell me, but I’ll find someone who will.” I marched past him. I took a step outside the garage before his hand closed around my wrist and pulled me back. I stared at his warm hand on my skin and my stomach fluttered. Slowly, I lifted my gaze and took a sharp inhale. He stared at me, his eyes pained, but behind the pain, there was something more. Something like longing or regret.

“I … I don’t mean to be a jerk, Jess. It’s just …” Ryan pressed his lips into a thin line.

“This is hard.”

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“What is hard?”

“Everything.” He let go of my arm. “The past. What I did. What happened after you left. You being here.”

“I’m—”

A siren blasted once from the street and I jumped.

“Shit,” Ryan muttered.

A police car was parked behind Ethan’s car, its blinking lights casting eerie blue and red strobes on the sidewalk and the building.

A policeman stepped out of the car, the same one from the square.

“Mr. Dawson,” the officer said as he walked toward us. His eyes settled on me, and a grin spread across his lips. “Miss Hayes.”

“Officer Mike,” Ryan said simply.

The officer halted in front of us. “Miss Hayes, you shouldn’t be here.” I frowned. “And why is that?”

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The officer’s expression fell. He seemed appalled that I would answer him in that way.

“It’s okay, Jess,” Ryan said, looking at me. “Please, go.”

If I hadn’t noticed the pleading in his gaze or in his voice, I wouldn’t have obeyed.

But apparently, Ryan would be in trouble if I didn’t leave, so I nodded.

I spared a quick glare at Officer Mike before marching to Ethan’s car. I turned on the ignition, and looked over at Ryan once more. He was arguing with Officer Mike.

Damn, what had I done? My curiosity was at its limit now. What happened here?

I drove away, promising myself I would find out, one way or another.

***

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I hadn’t expected to run into Jessica so soon, so when she showed up at my garage in Ethan’s car, two emotions fought for a place in my chest. The first one was jealousy. What the hell was she doing with Ethan’s Camaro?

Had they been out? Like out
out
? And the second was shock, surprise. What the hell was she doing here? Didn’t I hurt her enough already? Was she looking for more?

Then those blue eyes stared into me, and it was so goddamn hard to step away, to keep a safe distance, to not say anything.

When I thought nothing could get worse, Officer Mike arrived.

“I thought you knew better,” he said as Jessica drove away. He sounded more like a concerned uncle than his usual jerk self.

“Everything you’ve been through was because of her. Do you want history to repeat?” Of course not.

I also didn’t blame her for what happened to me. I was the one to blame. If I 256/504

hadn’t hurt her, she wouldn’t have hurt me, setting me on my destructive path.

I grunted. “What do you care? I thought you would love seeing me get into more trouble.”

“A little trouble, yes. I wouldn’t mind if you partied until late and arrived late to your community service. That would probably bring you back in front of the judge and you would get one more month of community service. But repeating all the rest? No, Ryan.

I may not be your biggest fan, but I’m not that big of a jerk.”

I stared at him. So, Officer Mike didn’t really hate me. He just wanted to annoy me a little. That was good news actually.

“I won’t lose control. I won’t let the anger win this time.”

“That’s what you say, but what if she breaks your heart again? You won’t be able to control your anger then.” He stepped back. “Do yourself a favor and stay away 257/504

from her, huh?” He saluted me like a soldier before walking out of the garage to his car.

With my mind reeling, I closed the garage door and ran upstairs to my apartment.

If I had any alcohol, I would have drunk it.

All of it. Thank goodness, I hadn’t bought any. It was a shame a cold Coke didn’t take the edge off, though, and calm me down. The second best thing was to jump into my car and drive aimlessly, but it was already too late. Even though I didn’t have a curfew on weekends, I didn’t want to get into more trouble. Not unnecessarily.

Finally, I opted for the third best thing I could think of. A nice hot shower, then a bowl of ice cream while watching wrestling matches on TV.

My life was
so
great.

***

258/504

I woke up with the banging noises coming from downstairs. I pulled my pillow over my head, willing my body to go back to sleep, but now the memories of the previous night snaked into my mind and I couldn’t shut them off.

After leaving Ryan’s garage, I drove back to the race, but nobody was there. I called Jason, and he told me Ethan was at our house, waiting for me. When I arrived, the guys grilled me about the talk with Ryan.

I told them about Officer Mike showing up and ruining everything. Both of them cursed at that.

“Why is this officer following Ryan around?” I asked. Jason and Ethan exchanged a strained look. “Whatever. Don’t answer. I’ll find out myself.” I returned the car keys to Ethan and rushed inside the house.

I went directly to my bedroom, but sleep didn’t come easily.

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The ruckus continued downstairs.

Groaning, I got up. After a quick shower, I got dressed in jeans and a tank top, and dragged my bare feet to the kitchen.

“Can’t you let a girl sleep?”

Aunt Cadence, who was mixing ingredients in a bowl like a tornado, jerked her chin to the clock on the wall. “It’s past ten in the morning. Time to get up, don’t you think?”

“But it’s a Saturday,” I complained.

Beside Aunt Cadence, Mama finished a pie and put it in the oven. “Good morning, honey. Lindsey is at the table on the porch with breakfast.”

At that, my stomach growled.

I dragged my feet outside. Lindsey smiled when she saw me.

“Someone had quite a night.”

I snorted. “I wish.” I sat beside her and reached for a slice of sweet bread. “I just didn’t sleep well.”

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“Hmm.” She served me tea. “I heard you were at the race last night.”

“Yup.”

She pouted. “Luke never lets me go.” That wasn’t fair. She was seventeen. I started going to these races when I was fifteen.

“I’ll take you to the next one.” She brightened. “Really? You’re the best.” She gave me a quick hug, and I chuckled. “I heard Luke and Ethan won last night. Jason didn’t though.”

“I only watched Luke’s race,” I said.

She squinted at me. “Why is that?” I bit my lower lip. Damn, I didn’t want to think about it right now. I wanted to enjoy a quiet breakfast and then a nice family lunch, without thoughts that would make me irritated or concerned.

A nice family lunch.

But it wouldn’t be the entire family, would it?

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I reached for my phone inside my jeans pocket, and then remembered I didn’t have Luke’s number.

“Tell me Luke’s phone number?” I asked. With a wary gaze, Lindsey rattled off his number and I dialed. He answered on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Did I wake you up?”

He didn’t answer right away. “Jess?”

“Yes. Did I wake you?”

“No. I have been up for an hour now.”

“So …” I little embarrassment knotted my stomach, but I pushed through it. “I hope you don’t have plans for lunch, because I was thinking you should come.”

“A-are you sure?”

I nodded, even though he couldn’t see it. “Yes.”

“I’ll be right there.”

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“Okay.” I turned off the call and reached for my tea. Lindsey was gawking at me. “What?”

She shrugged, dropping it. “Nothing.” I smiled and she smiled back.

Chapter Fourteen

Jessica

Lunch wasn’t as odd as it could have been. Luke and I didn’t exchange many words, but at least he was here. I could see in Mama’s and Aunt Cadence’s eyes how relieved they were. Well, I was too. One less thing to heal from.

After lunch, Lindsey told me about a concert in Columbia she wanted to go to that night, but Luke didn’t want to take her. I knew that too well. When I was young, Jason never wanted to take me anywhere. And if I was at the same party he was, he acted like he didn’t know me, or if there were guys hitting on me, he became the overprotective big brother. So annoying.

“I’ll take you,” I told her. Rachel had a family dinner, and Sophie had a business 264/504

event with her father, so until now I was on my own on a Saturday night.

When I went to pick up Lindsey at her house, I realized she had ambushed me. Brianna, Ryan’s sister, was standing beside her and I didn’t remember her telling me about a friend coming along. Especially not this friend.

She slid inside the truck with a big, fake smile. “Sorry,” she whispered.

Brianna slid in next. “Hi, Jess.”

“Hey, Brianna.” I fixed my gaze on her.

“Your parents know where you’re going, right?”

She didn’t even blink. “Of course.”

“And your brother?”

“I think so. Mom and Dad said I could go, so Ryan doesn’t matter.”

I hoped not. Not that I thought he was going to be at the concert. During lunch, Jason and Luke mentioned going to The Pub to drink and play some pool, so if I had to 265/504

bet, I would say Ryan was with them. Still, if he heard I took his sister to a concert without their parents’ consent, he would flip and we were already too deep in a mess. I didn’t need more problems to deal with.

“All right.” I put the truck in drive and stepped on the accelerator.

The drive to Columbia took twenty minutes, and the girls told me about school—the guys, the bitches, the gossips.

Who kissed whom, who cheated on whom, who dumped whom, who was away for the summer, and who wasn’t.

It was less interesting now that I wasn’t their age, but it was nice to be included. And it was a way of bonding with Lindsey.

I parked the truck in the parking garage across the street from the place. When Lindsey told me about the concert, I thought it would be at a big venue, or at least, somewhere more organized, but it was actually in a big club downtown. I wasn’t too happy 266/504

about it, but I was determined to enjoy this night. The line at the door was huge, and it took us a half hour to get in the place. After Kristin bothered me for more than two years, I finally got a fake ID last spring break. Lindsey and Brianna, however, didn’t have one and got stamps on their hands, to let bartenders know they were underage. As if that had ever stopped anyone from drinking.

Once past the bouncer, we descended the stairs and passed under a big archway. It opened to a large room with a dance floor in the center, and tables and high chairs flank-ing it. To the side, stairs led to the balcony wrapping around the walls. There were two bars, one on the left and one on the right, and a medium-sized stage in the back.

Bright, colorful lights blinked from the ceiling and a loud rock ballad blasted through hidden speakers.

We made our way to the right of the dance floor, and Lindsey spotted some 267/504

friends from school at a table. I was introduced to Anne Leigh, Phoebe, and her boyfriend, Drew. They pulled two chairs from other tables and all of us were able to sit around the table.

The group launched into more gossip about their friends and enemies. I excused myself and went to the bar to buy a drink.

I leaned on the bar counter and the bartender asked what I wanted. “A bud light, please,” I said, showing him my fake ID.

“Hello there.”

I snapped my head to the new voice and saw Noah, the Habitat for Humanity supervisor. “Oh, hi,” I said, returning my attention to the bartender.

He brought my beer over and I paid him quickly.

“It’s nice seeing you here,” Noah said.

Not knowing what to say, I nodded then walked back to the table. A guy had taken my place, and he was deep in conversation with 268/504

Brianna. On the other side of the table, Lindsey took a selfie with her friends. I winced, as if she had been taking a photo of me.
Get a
grip, Jessica.
When would this trauma of pictures go away? Apparently, never.

I leaned on the back of Brianna’s chair and

checked

the

hour

on

my

cell

phone—nine thirty. The concert began at ten.

I was starting to regret this outing.

***

We didn’t really want to, but Ethan was all about going to that damn concert in Columbia. Apparently, a girl he was flirting with would be there, and he didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to corner her.

He nudged me with his elbow as we waited in line to enter. “Don’t pretend you’re not dying to get drunk, find some willing girl, and get lost in her bed.”

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I winced.

I wasn’t like that anymore. Well, not like I was four years ago. Back then, if I could, I would have slept with a different girl every weekend. Now, I only sought girls when the need was too much and my hand didn’t do the job anymore. Even so, every time I had to drink my way to them, and when I left their beds, I didn’t feel satisfied.