Captured Love (14 page)

“Rachel!” Sophie hissed.

“What?” Rachel looked shocked. “What did I do?”

“It’s okay,” I said. “What Sophie means is that I wasn’t here for almost four years.

Maybe that’s why.”

Rachel gasped. “Oh crap. I keep forgetting and saying the wrong shit.” 232/504

“Since we touched that topic,” Sophie started. She licked her spoon, eyeing me, probably gauging my reaction. “You’ve been putting off talking to us about your life in Cleveland, and about how you really are, Jess.”

I spooned my ice cream, suddenly unsure I wanted to eat more. “Honestly, I don’t know how I am. It’s hard to talk about it when even I’m not sure about anything.” Rachel patted my knee. “I’m sorry. And I’m sorry you had to face Caryn this week. I wish I were there though. I would have jumped on her and clawed that fake hair out of her head.”

Sophie snorted, and I couldn’t help but chuckle, imagining the scene in my mind.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t funny. I was shaking, and if it weren’t for Jason and Ryan, I don’t know what would have happened.” 233/504

“About that,” Sophie said, her tone ma-licious again. “I heard you guys have seen each other a few times. How was it?”

“Awkward and painful.” I sighed.

Rachel put her hand on my arm. “Jess, you’ve been through some pretty messed up stuff and, as far as we know, you never talked about it with anyone.”

Sophie set her empty ice cream bowl aside. “Talk to us.”

“It’s not something I like talking about.”

“We know,” Sophie said. “But maybe that’s exactly what you need, to vent about it.”

I played with my ice cream. “I talked to my grandma and also my best friend up there, Kristin.”

Rachel face fell. “Oh. That’s good though, right? I mean, you vented then.”

“I didn’t exactly vent. I just told them the events.” I put my half-eaten ice cream aside. “There isn’t much to vent though.

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Ryan broke my heart, and my father called me a slut and hit me in front of half the town. It’s done.”

“See, you think there’s nothing to vent about.” Rachel reached for my bowl of ice cream and started eating what I had not.

“You need closure.”

That again.

“Yes,” Sophie said. “You should talk to Ryan.”

“Everyone keeps saying that. I’m sure he doesn’t even remember what he did and how that hurt me. Sometimes I even think he only remembers me or still knows my name because of my brother.”

Rachel dropped her spoon. “What?”

“You’re kidding, right?” Sophie asked, her eyes wide.

I looked from one to another. “What?

No. Why?”

235/504

Sophie squinted. “Jason didn’t tell you what happen to him after you left? What he did?”

“Hm, I don’t know what happened, and Jason doesn’t want to tell me,” I said. Rachel exchanged a worried look with Sophie. “You guys are making me nervous. What is it?”

“Why doesn’t Jason tell you?” Rachel asked.

“He says that I should ask Ryan and have him tell me.” I grunted. “As if I would knock on his door and ask him. Besides, I don’t even know where his house is now. Apparently, he’s not living with his parents anymore.”

“He rents an apartment over the abandoned Blockbuster downtown,” Rachel said.

That was a half block from Alan’s company.

“Since when?” Again, they exchanged an odd look, and I clenched my fist around the spoon. “Come on, tell me.” 236/504

Sophie sighed. “I would love to tell you like it was juicy gossip, but this is serious.

Ryan should be the one to tell you.” A chill rushed down my spine. Was it that bad that even my girls didn’t want to tell me?

***

Sophie leaned forward between the seats and smiled at me. “I’m glad you’re doing this.”

I fidgeted with my nails, a nervous habit I had since my pre-teens.

Rachel reached over and rested her hand on mine. “It’s going to be okay. Ryan won’t be there.”

“That’s what you keep saying, but I guess I’ll only believe it when I see it. Or don’t see it.”

237/504

The slumber party went well last night.

We actually went to sleep at five in the morning. Then the sun was up and bothering us, and we moved to my bedroom and slept until noon. Thank goodness, I made my own hours at work. Otherwise, I would already be fired. I went in at one and left at five.

At eight, the girls showed up, inviting me to watch a race. Inviting was actually a nice word for it. They practically hauled me into Rachel’s car. For a moment, I thought they would knocked me out, or tie me and drag me to the damn race.

However, I remembered the girls, Jason, and even Ryan telling me he didn’t ride bikes anymore.

The question was, why? He loved those damn things.

At any rate, I was tired of being holed up at home. I missed my girls and going out and having fun. If for some reason Ryan 238/504

showed up at the race, I would ask someone to take me home. Simple as that.

Rachel took us down a back road I didn’t even remember existed and parked a good distance from the other cars. “In case the police show up,” she explained.

I shook my head. Gosh, it had been a long time since I had to worry about that.

But instead of concern, anticipation filled my veins. I hadn’t realized I missed this feeling, this energy of coming to a race, being in the crowd, betting, cheering, and yelling at the racers.

We walked to the crowd, weaving through colorful, modified cars and bikes, several of them with the trunks open, expos-ing big speakers and blasting loud music, and lots of people. I recognized several faces and immediately shrank into myself.

Sophie linked her arm with mine.

“Don’t do that,” she whispered.

239/504

“They

probably

remember

what

happened. They will look at me with disgust or pity. I don’t want that.”

Rachel took my other arm. “Forget about them. We’re here to have a good time.” Closer to the middle, we found Jason, Luke, and Ethan. And no Ryan. Girls milled around them, wanting their attention. I smiled. I had forgotten about that too.

“Jess,” Jason said as we approached him. He pushed past the girls and met us in a few steps. “I didn’t expect to see you here.” I jerked my head toward my girls.

“These are the guilty ones.”

He nodded. “I’m glad you’re out.” I smiled at him. Maybe I could forgive him. “Me too.”

My eyes met Luke’s and he retreated a few steps. Could I forgive him too? My brother and he hadn’t known Ryan and I were together before that “fishing trip,” but 240/504

they knew I had a huge crush on Ryan, and they had seen Ryan flirting with me.

Maybe I was being too harsh on them.

I had made up my mind to talk to Luke, but before I could get too close, he walked away and disappeared in the crowd.

“Hey, Jess,” Ethan said.

Like the other guys, Ethan had bulked up. His gray eyes were still as breathtaking as I remembered, but his black hair was cut a bit shorter.

“Hi, Ethan. How are you?”

“Doing good. I’m glad you’re back.”

“It’s only for a short while.” He nodded. “Even so.”

Why wasn’t I mad at him like I was mad at Jason and Luke? He had been with Ryan too. But he wasn’t blood of my blood, that was why. And that was so wrong. I couldn’t let him go with a free pass, and then hold the others responsible.

I sighed.

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John, a tall black guy who usually commanded the races, stepped into the bed of a truck. “Good evening, friends,” he shouted.

The chatter stopped and the volume of the music lowered. “The first racers, please, take your places.”

Luke and two other guys I didn’t recognize stopped their ninja bikes behind the white line on the road. By the look of it, the line had been painted minutes ago by a tipsy someone.

They pulled their helmets down and turned the handles, making their engines roar. Adrenaline rushed through me and I smiled. Damn, I had really missed this.

“Ladies,” John called. “Do your thing.” Two girls wearing tiny jean shorts, tight tops, and hooker heels stepped in front of the bikes holding a black and white checkered flags. I could imagine Caryn doing this. It would be her thing. Anger seeped into me, 242/504

but I focused on the adrenaline. I wouldn’t let that bitch ruin this for me.

With come-and-get-me smiles, the girls raised the flags.

“On your marks,” John said. The girls counted from five to one, then lowered the flags. “Go!”

The bikers zipped passed the girls, making their hair fly with the rushing air, and went straight down the road.

“The course is still the same?” I asked.

“Yes,” Sophie said. “They go for half a mile on this road, make a loop on the next three roads, and come back.”

In the distance, the bikers disappeared into the darkness. Around me, the chatter resumed, but this time it was about the race.

Money flowed easily as people made bets on who would win.

Jason bet a hundred dollars on Luke, and Ethan bet two hundred. Where the hell did they get so much money?

243/504

Two minutes later, someone yelled,

“Here they come!”

Everyone turned to the road, and we saw the headlights approaching.

“Which one is Luke?” I asked.

“The one on the right,” Ethan said.

How could he tell? No matter, my attention was on Luke.

Come on, Luke. Come on. You can do it.

I froze.

Apparently, I wasn’t mad at Luke anymore. Maybe I never was. Maybe I had always been mad at Ryan and ended up laying it on everyone around me.

Luke lost the leader to the rider in the center.

“Come on, Luke!” my brother shouted.

With expertise, Luke dropped back and pulled his bike to the other side of the lead biker. Then, he pushed through the left. My palms sweated and my heart raced as he caught up with the other biker inch by inch.

244/504

He could do it. He just needed to push a little bit more.

“You can do it, Luke!” Sophie yelled.

The racers got closer, and the crowd opened a corridor past the white line.

In the last three seconds, Luke passed the other driver and crossed the line first.

We all cheered.

Jason, Ethan, Sophie, and Rachel ran to Luke along with half the crowd. My feet wanted to move, to go congratulate him, but my

mind

wouldn’t

actually

give

the

command.

You’re better than this, Jessica.

I forced a step, and then another, then another, and the weight in my legs dimin-ished with each step. I approached the closed circle around him, and then Luke was lifted by the crowd and carried away.

Apparently, the universe didn’t want me to speak with Luke, but I could speak to someone else.

245/504

I turned to Jason. “You came with your bike?”

“Yeah. Why?” he asked.

“Because I need a car.”

“Where are you going?” Rachel asked.

“To do something I should have done since the day I got here.”

The girls smiled, knowing exactly what I meant. I bet Jason and Ethan also knew.

“I brought my car and the bike trailer,” Ethan said. He fished the keys from his biker jacket. “You can take it.”

“But if the police show up?”

He grinned. “We run faster with the bikes.”

I took the keys from him. “Thanks.” I turned to leave and Jason’s hand closed around my arm. “Be careful with what you say.”

“Don’t worry. I promise I won’t torture him … much.” I winked, and he laughed.

Chapter Thirteen

Jessica

I was more into SUVs, but Ethan’s red and black Camaro was one hell of a smooth ride.

My heart beat faster and faster with each mile closer I came to Ryan’s apartment.

I turned the last corner and took a deep breath. I was doing this. I was actually doing this. I was going to talk to Ryan.

I parked Ethan’s car behind Ryan’s Mustang. I was about to open the door when I saw him in a garage beside the Blockbuster, working on his Harley Davidson. He bought that thing when he was eighteen, right after he got his car from his grandpa. He saved every cent for two years to buy it, even though the thing needed a lot of work. But that was the fun part. He loved working on it, 247/504

even without guarantees that it would ever run again.

Focused on his work, he hadn’t noticed the car parked right behind him. And I was actually glad. This way, I could gawk at him and not feel guilty. It was his fault that he was wearing only low-riding jeans, with a fraction of his black boxers showing, his black boots, and nothing else.

Damn, he had really bulked up. The muscles in his back, shoulders, and arms popped with each of his movements. Even his legs and his ass looked fuller.

The heat inside Ethan’s car increased.

Ryan reached behind him for a tool and saw the car. He frowned, and then started walking to the car. With the dark windows, he probably didn’t see me.

I took a deep breath and opened the door.

With wide eyes, Ryan halted.

I slipped out of the car. “Hi.” 248/504

He looked at the car and back at me.

“What are you doing with Ethan’s car?”

“He lent it to me.” I forced my eyes to stay on his handsome face, though all they wanted to do was roam over his taut chest and rippled abdomen. I swallowed. “We were at the race, and he had his bike with him.” He nodded. “He’s such a girl, always taking his bike on the trailer.” Trying to lighten the air a little, I put my hands on my hips. “I take offense to that sentence.”

His eyes followed my hands for a brief moment before returning to mine. “What are you doing here?”

I didn’t have a good answer for that. So, I ignored it. I walked past him and went to get a closer look at his Harley. It was still a beauty, but now more polished and less messy. By the looks of it, he spent a lot of time working on it. Yet, it had been four years. Shouldn’t he have finished it already?

249/504

I scanned the place. The garage was small, for one car only, but it housed his tools, a couple of folding chairs, an old stereo, and his two bikes. Resting along the back wall was his ninja bike, similar to Jason’s, Luke’s, and Ethan’s. The guys had been crazy about bikes since they were ten. I remembered they started saving money not much later. They did all kinds of things—car washing, selling lemonade, and lawn mow-ing. Jason had been the first to buy his bike, the day he turned sixteen. Papa almost had a fit. Not long after, Ryan turned sixteen and bought his bike, the same one gathering dust in this garage.