Burning Desires (Blue Bandits MC Book 4) (26 page)

All of the basics done, she pulled some coffee from her bag, brewing a cup before sitting down at the little table in front of the large picture window they’d spent a ton of credits to have added to the cabin. She felt a little lighter watching the fading shadows fall over the meadow, a sense of peace settling inside her. She had made the right choice coming here. Burner wasn’t filling her head as much here because she hadn’t had sex with him in every room she entered.

Not that her heart wasn’t aching with longing for the stupid bastard; it was, but here she could almost push those feelings out of her mind and just be for a little while. Kelsey knew it wouldn’t last because she was in love with him but at least for now she could take some time to heal the gaping wound he’d created by refusing to allow her to help him move past the pain he was holding onto with both hands.

Chapter Twenty

Burner groaned as he sat up on the bed glaring at the door. Whoever had just knocked on it was going to eat his fist. He’d only been asleep for a little over an hour. Since four days ago when he’d left Kelsey’s apartment he hadn’t slept more than two hours and it was starting to make him really fucking cranky.

Getting up from the bed, he ran a hand through his hair before grabbing the bottle of tequila off the bedside table to take a swig. His eyes were still blurry and he wasn’t in the mood for company but another knock on the door had him moving towards it. He jerked it open, lifting the bottle for another long drink while glaring at the woman standing outside his door.

“What the fuck do you want?” he grunted, staring at Marcy.

“Wow, is that any way to greet me?” Marcy asked, her smile wicked as she ran her hands up his bare chest, her nails raking his skin. Burner slapped her hands away from him, his skin crawling suddenly because she wasn’t Kelsey, and that was just too fucked up to imagine but it was what he felt.

“Get your fucking hands off me,” he commanded, his movements jerky as he swayed on his feet because he was still shitfaced from the night before. His coordination was so unstable that he almost dropped the bottle he was holding.

“Geez, you’re so drunk you can barely stand.” Marcy frowned, seemingly not offended by his words. “Don’t worry, I can make you feel better. Just give me an hour and I’ll have all your frustrations taken care of.” She then attempted to caress him again.

Burner stumbled back away from her to avoid her reaching hands because he didn’t want anything to do with her. Even as drunk as he was, he wasn’t interested in replacing Kelsey with this club whore or for that matter any woman. He knew it was fucked up because she didn’t need him in her life; all he would manage to do was screw it up like he did everything else. Burner blinked several times trying to clear his blurred vision, the hand holding the bottle rising to rub his forehead while holding his other hand out to ward her off. “Get the fuck away from me, you damned bitch, I am not interested in fucking you.”

“What the–but Burner, I can make you want it even as drunk as you are,” Marcy said, trying to step into his room to follow him when he stepped back but he shoved her away with a hand on her chest. He was so drunk that it barely moved her. It did, however, stop her from getting any closer to him.

“I just want you the fuck out of my room. Don’t make this any uglier than it has to be.
Leave
,” Burner roared, fury at her insistence overtaking him. He didn’t want to deal with this shit. He had enough to fucking deal with at the moment and Marcy wasn’t something he wanted to add to that list.

Flame walked up behind Marcy eyeing Burner warily before he asked, “What’s going on?”

Marcy turned to him, her lips curling into a smile. “I’m trying to make Burner feel better but he seems to like the mood he’s in. I can’t imagine why he isn’t interested in fucking me,” Marcy said, her hands running over her impressively large breasts which were barely covered by the see-through shirt she was wearing. Burner was glad she was distracted and reached forward and after making three attempts, he grabbed the door handle, holding it.

“Take her. I need some fucking privacy and make damned sure the rest of the fucking sweetbutts know not to come near me. In the mood I’m in, I might hurt one of them trying to get them to leave me the fuck alone,” he snarled.

He saw the shock on Flame’s face but he didn’t care. He just didn’t want anyone messing with him right now. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with it.

Burner slammed the door, locking it, without waiting for a reply from Flame or Marcy. He just wanted to wallow in the pit of despair he was currently in, was that too much to ask? He swayed a little as he headed towards his bathroom; he needed a shower. Entering, he took another long drink of the tequila finishing off the bottle before dumping in into the trash, hearing it clank against the little metal can. He let out a belch, staring at himself in the mirror. His hair was matted in places and he had lines on his face from the covers that still hadn’t faded. His eyes had huge bags under them and his beard had begun to grow out because he hadn’t bothered to shave. 

What did it matter anyway? He didn’t fucking care. Scratching his shoulder, he turned to the small enclosure turning on the water so it could warm up before he unbuttoned his pants, pushing them off. He swayed again, catching himself on the wall with his hand, grunting as he tried to kick off the pants he’d managed to shove down his legs. After several minutes of kicking frantically while trying to stay upright, he got them off and almost tripped on them as he lurched into the shower.

His hand landing on the wall, he leaned into it letting the water pour over his head wondering what the hell he was doing. Burner knew that drinking himself into a stupor every night was not okay but he couldn’t seem to help it. Last night he’d told himself he wouldn’t get drunk again and yet here he was, so shitfaced he couldn’t even get his damned pants off without almost falling on his ass. If the Headhunters were to bust into the club and start some shit, he wouldn’t be a lick of help to anyone and he knew it.

Burner turned his face toward the stream of water trying to sober up a little because he needed to think and his head was foggy. Fuck, this was not working. He missed Kelsey and it was fucking him up even more than being with her had. Not that he was going to try and make up with her. He knew his staying away from her was what she needed but he had to see her even if he wasn’t able to touch her.

Grabbing the shampoo, he lathered his hair trying to get rid of whatever was matted in it from when he’d passed out last night on the floor of the clubhouse. He decided that he would try to get a little sleep to sober up and then he would go to Tricky Bitches tonight to just look at her. He wouldn’t talk to her but he would go see her because it was either do that or go mad.

Of course, he really hoped she didn’t flirt with another man while he was there because he wouldn’t be able to prevent himself from punching the motherfucker. Maybe him going there wasn’t a good idea. Even as that thought occurred to him, he knew he was going to that club tonight to see her because he couldn’t stand it anymore. He missed her smile, her smell, the way she laughed and well, hell, just her. He missed
her
.

Burner sat in a corner booth staring at Hanna mixing a drink at the bar wondering why Kelsey wasn’t here. He knew her schedule and he knew damned good and well she was usually working tonight and it pissed him off that she wasn’t here. It also worried him. Was she sick or had she gotten hurt? When he broke things off with her he’d told Hammer to keep an eye on her. Maybe he should have talked to him before coming here.

He hoped that fucker hadn’t thought he meant for him to go back to dating her because he would have to kill Hammer for trying that bullshit. He tensed, his back straightening as that thought occurred to him. His lips compressed into a hard line and he slammed his glass back on the table.

Burner shook his head trying to clear the fury because he knew he’d told Hammer not to try dating her when he talked to him about her. He’d made it very clear he didn’t want him touching her but did Hammer listen, he wondered. Burner glared over at Hanna, his eyes following her as she moved down the bar. He sipped his club soda, surprised he had actually succeeded in his goal not to drink tonight. It was mostly because he didn’t want Kelsey to come in and see him fucked up but at least he’d managed it.

He wanted to know where she was tonight. His hand tightened on the glass as he ran over the places she might be and growled a little as thoughts of her on a date with another man flew through his head making a vein pop out on his neck.

Burner was so focused on Hanna and worry about where Kelsey was that he jumped a little when a quiet voice asked, “Did you want another drink?”

He looked at the small brunette waitress who hovered near his table, an idea suddenly overtaking him.

“No, I’m good but tell me, where’s Kelsey tonight?”

“I don’t know. She wasn’t here last night either. Sorry.” She shrugged and moved away before Burner could question her more about where Kelsey was and why she wasn’t coming to work.

He leaned back into the booth with his eyes closed trying to come up with a good reason to talk to Hanna about her. Otherwise he was going to end up going by her place and he knew that would end up with him buried inside her because he was weak when it came to her. He couldn’t help it, she soothed his battered soul with her sweetness and it was something he had found he couldn’t resist when he was alone with her.

He wasn’t sure how long he racked his brain for an answer to his dilemma before he realized someone had sat down across from him. He opened his eyes to see that Hanna was across from him in the booth with a dark glower focused on him. She leaned forward invading his space, her lips flat, her eyes cold.

“I hear you’re questioning my waitresses now,” Hanna spat out, her voice hard.

“You have a point?” Burner asked, not intimidated by her in the least.

“Yes, I have a point,” Hanna muttered through her teeth, her fists curled against the table. “My sister doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore. You fucked with her head enough, now I am warning you to leave her alone.”

“I see.” Burner casually lifted his drink taking a sip before he leaned forward, his eyes holding hers. “I don’t give a fuck that you don’t like me, Hanna. Where is she?”

“It’s not any of your fucking business where my sister is.”

“That’s where I beg to differ. I want to know where she is,” Burner said, his jaw clenched.

She leaned back crossing her arms over her chest, her chin tilting up as determination filled her eyes. “Too fucking bad.”

Burner realized he had made a tactical error with her in that moment because there was no way she was going to tell him anything about Kelsey now. He could see it in those green eyes, the same stubborn streak that Kelsey had that drove him crazy. Damn, now what the fuck was he going to do? Burner rubbed his knees under the table, his mind focused on Kelsey. He needed to know she was okay. His body now rigid, he found himself rubbing a hand down his unshaven face trying to think of a way to get her to tell him where her sister was but coming up empty.

“Just tell me if she’s okay,” he asked, his voice strained, almost hoarse.

Hanna eyed him, her head tilting to the side as she studied him. Her eyes moved over him warily, her brows lowering, her posture straightening before she seemed to come to a decision about him.

“She’s fine and she’s safe but I am not telling you where she is and you won’t be able to find her so you might as well not even bother.” Her words were firm and her face set as she continued, “Look, I don’t know what you’re up to with her but if you really do care for her just leave her alone. She deserves better than you.”

Burner couldn’t argue with her words, and even though they were the same ones he’d thought a dozen times, they made him want to slap her. He watched her for another long moment, his hands folded in front of him while she stared coldly back before he stood. Burner wanted a drink but he refused to do that tonight, mostly because he’d done it every night for the past four and he needed to stop. He leaned down into Hanna’s face, his eyes flinty as he spoke.

“You don’t know anything about me and I will not be insulted by a bitch who thinks she has a right to talk to me like that. If I want to be with your sister, there isn’t a damned thing you could do about it.”

Hanna’s eyes narrowed and her body tensed as her fists jerked on the table. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that, asshole. I can tell you that I can make damned sure you don’t ever see my sister again if I have to.”

Burner let out a little laugh from above her, his amusement real because he knew a threat when he heard one. “I wouldn’t get too big for my britches if I were you. I’m not a nice man and I would hate for you to learn that the hard way.”

“Don’t threaten me,” Hanna growled.

“That’s just it, I’m not, but I am warning you. Have a nice night, Hanna.” He turned on his heel walking out of the club to his bike feeling keyed up. He needed to just ride for a while because he was feeling hemmed in and pissed that he couldn’t see Kelsey.