Burden (19 page)

“How?”

“I have no idea. You’ll have to speak to her.”

“I’m nervous. What if she doesn’t like me? What if she walks in here, takes one look at me, and decides I’m not worth it?”

The stress was oozing from her. I took her hands in mine and attempted to soothe her the best way I knew how.

“Look at me, Echo. You are worth her love and her care and her teachings. And when she walks in here, she’s going to see the exact same thing I do. A female who is beautiful, strong and caring, and the most honorable person I’ve ever met. Besides, I’ve seen her. It’s like looking at a future image of you.”

That perked her up, “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

She sat, contented, for a few minutes before jumping into another subject, though the worry lingered beneath the surface.

“Feel like blessing some babies?”

“How about tomorrow? I need some mate time.”

Her porcelain cheeks blushed
, and her bear reached out to mine. I could feel them almost touch.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Whatever you want. I’ve only taken you out once. I feel like I haven’t courted you properly. I just swooped in and stole you.”

She giggled, “You did steal me. And there was no courting necessary.”

“No, but I need to do a better job of this mate thing. I intend to date you every chance I get until you won’t let me anymore.”

Squeezing my fingers
, she added, “That time will never come.”

She had no idea.

“Then let me take you to a movie and out for ice cream.”

“
Really?” The funny thing was, she really was surprised that I wanted to take her somewhere. One day, I hoped the shock value of me wanting to spend time with her, my mate, would dwindle.

“Of course. Let’s go right now, in fact.”

She hesitated, “Hawke?”

“Yeah?”

“Would I be horrible if I said I was a little too tired to stay awake for a movie? Can we just do ice cream?”

I conjured the most serious face I could, “You’re ruining this.” But one corner of my mouth betrayed me, slipping upwards.

“Well, I might make it worth your while, later.”

My jaw went slack at my usually innocent mate’s proposition and I froze in place.

“Shut your mouth, Hawke. It’s not like you don’t know what’s going on up here,” she pointed to her head and then used her finger to close my mouth. She then moved to do something. I didn’t care where she was going—I didn’t want any distance between us. I grabbed her to me forcefully and crashed my mouth down on hers shutting her protests down completely. My fingers were tangled in her hair and I tried with as much fervor as I could to brandish her mouth with everything I felt for her. I poured in my gratefulness to the Creator for forming such a perfect mate for me. With each swipe of my tongue, I caressed her lips with all the love I possessed. I inhaled her moans, hoping to meld us together even more. In my mind, our bears brushed against each other, pawed playfully at one another and got lost as only animals can. She hooked her fingers into my belt loops and pulled me against her, rocking my hips against hers. Her mouth was so sweet, the finest honey couldn’t compare. Our heartbeats and breaths rose together, pulsing and panting, my desire for her grew by the second.

You might never get to quench that desire.

The thought alone was enough to break our moment and throw ice water on the fire we’d kindled. I tried not to completely cut her off instantly—instead, I slowed down, grazing pecks along her jaw, down her neck; until we’d come down from the tower we’d built.

“Wow,” she breathed against my ear.

“Wow is right.”

“We should get out of here,” she secreted and I expected it to be coupled with a smile, but instead I found she was completely serious
, and it made me arrogant knowing that her craving was as ravenous as my own.

“Come on,” I grabbed her hand
, and we met the cold air outside just in time, as my mind was already wandering back to her lips.

At the ice cream shop, I leaned against the counter and watched with unabashed obsession as she tasted nearly every flavor from the little pink spoons. I chuckled as she pointed out another flavor to taste before she’d even tasted the one in her hand. I loved those two facets of her, the one who knew who she was when she was with me, but she was like a newborn cub in her incessant curiosity about things she’d never been exposed to.

When it was time for her to decide, she ticked her eyes over to me and then sheepishly ordered one scoop of vanilla.

“What,” she asked as I questioned her with my eyebrows.

“All of that tasting and you end up with one scoop of vanilla?”

“Well, I’m kinda full now
, and yes, after all that I realized I really just like vanilla.”

Kissing her temple after I handed the girl behind the counter money, I mumbled, “That’s what life’s about.”

I drove us out to a place near the lake, and we ate in silence. The sound of scraping her paper bowl with the pink spoon broke me from my trance. I pondered on my own words from earlier. It was true. Even in my sheltered existence in the clan, I’d done so many things and seen so many things she hadn’t. Her mother had things to teach her, and I knew without a doubt that if she didn’t take this chance given to her—she would regret it.

“How long are you gonna lie to me?”

There was no point in continuing the façade.

“Until it doesn’t make me nauseated to tell you the truth.”

“Well, let me know when that is. I can’t stand it when you lie to me. And not telling me the full truth is deceit.”

Her words curdled the milk in my stomach
, and I knew the only cure would be to tell her. Then my damned phone buzzed in my pocket.

“What?”

“Alpha, there’s been a break in at your house. Rev and Aspen are on their tails. Please tell me you have the Coeur with you.” It was Tarrow, breathless, and his voice was laced with worry.

Good man,
I thought to myself, proud of the fact that he made sure my mate was safe before giving a rat’s ass about possessions or damage.

“She is here with me. Tell me what you know,” I demanded as I shifted the truck into reverse and started to make my way home.

“It was two grizzlies, young ones, too stupid to know that we were running patrols. But they came in from the swamp and went directly into your home. Martha called Aspen immediately after she saw them break through the tree line. She called Echo’s phone, but there was no answer. Rev and Aspen were called in. Julian and Saber were on duty, Alpha. They were apparently not trained well enough.”

I barked back at him, “And where are the grizzlies now? Are they on my land? Which direction did they go?”

“They chased them North. That was over thirty minutes ago. They are long gone. Rev and Aspen are approaching now. Wait…” He spoke to someone else, and it made me want to reach through the phone and strangle him with my bare hands. “Alpha, they got one. We have a grizzly. Rev is taking him to his cabin and we will restrain him there.”

“I’m on my way.”

“Flint and Aspen are in your home, ready to protect the Coeur. Martha is there too, for your peace of mind. I am going with Rev. Julian and Saber will be there too. They need to be questioned. Be safe Alpha.”

With that, he hung up. Echo scooted over to me, having overheard most of the conversation. I was doing everything I could to fight my bear, deny him from breaking out of my hu
man shell and tearing every grizzly in my path to bits. She grabbed my hand and brought it to her mouth and kissed it once and then murmured comforting words to me. She wanted me to calm down. She wanted me to take it slow and not tear anyone’s throats out. I assumed she meant my own clan, not the grizzly. Because as soon as I got the information I needed from him, he would be gutted by my claws and none other.

I entered the lands and I could tell by the way the clan members were all huddled in their homes that the
ir safe feeling of our lands had been compromised and maybe their trust in me.

I carried Echo inside, despite her protests and made sure the door was locked about fifty times like one of those obsessive compulsive people who do some huffing shit if the door isn’t closed to their whacked out standards. I shifted right there outside
of my house and trampled through the lands until I got to Rev’s house. I hadn’t planned it out well, since I was then in bear form without a stitch of clothing to speak of.

Rev appeared and nodding at me, went back into his home and reappeared with a pair of shorts and turned his back while I phased back and dressed. The journey to his home had done nothing to numb my rage.

“Where are you from?” The words were spoken directly from my bear through my mouth.

He glared at me
, and Rev took the initiative to clock the guy in the face, busting his lip open, causing blood to flood from the wound.

Taken over by my anger, I felt the surge of a new
power elevate in my core. I’d never felt the power of the Alpha rise, in me but my bear clamored in its presence and so did the grizzly. This was it. This was the true power of the Alpha which could only be brought out by their mate.

“You will tell us where you’re from and what you were doing here—now!”

I almost didn’t recognize my own voice as the boom of it reverberated through the room. Rev, Julian and Saber took a step back at my tone.

“I am from
the grizzly clan in South Dakota. You stole our female, and our Alpha has taken ill. He demanded we kidnap her again so she could heal him.” The words came out in a whoosh of forced exit.

That was easy.

Kidnap her again?

“What do you mean again?”

“Our clan was told of her gifts a long time ago after she was witnessed healing someone as a child. Our Alpha has had cancer for some time, and she healed him over and over every, time it came back. We took her as a cub for him. We had to do his bidding. He ordered us.”

I turned around, no longer able to look the animal in the eye.

“And what if you fail?”

“I did fail.”

“What is your punishment for failure with Horace?”

“Death, Alpha.”

Though the temptation to fulfill that punishment on the criminal myself seemed satisfying, I couldn’t kill someone who was commanded to do a crime. I conjured the new power again, “You will leave here. You are no longer allowed to be a part of any clan. If you ever step foot on any lands that belong to a bear, I will hunt you down and tear your throat out myself.”

He looked around doe eyed and confirmed what I’d just said before throwing the door open and running at full speed towards nothing.

“Alpha, he didn’t deserve to live.”

“Why?”

“Because he tried to kidnap our Coeur.” It was Rev who interrupted my thoughts.

I got in his face, “Am I no worse than him? I stole her from her mother without even a second thought. She was taken from her mother
, and I repeated the crime myself. If he deserves to die, then so do I.”

Until the moment those words came from my mouth, I had no clue that in the last minutes I’d began to feel that way. But it was true
, nonetheless. I went to the grizzly clan, and yes, saved her from Horace. But instead of trying to find her parents, I selfishly just took her as my own, disregarding our traditions and our law. I was no better than those monsters.

Mine. Always Mine.

My bear was fighting me tooth and nail, it had been since I made my decision earlier that day. I slumped back through the woods of our lands, taking the long way and on human feet back to the house. I opened the door to find Echo, Martha, Aspen, and Flint sitting solemn in the living room.

“Aspen, Flint, you are dismissed.” I sourly seethed their way. They showed their obedience with a baring of their necks and then left swiftly but no further than the porch. It was their choice if they wanted to stay there. I stomped up the stairs and showered, trying to scrub away the entire day. The entire day was hell.

“You need to start talking—now.” Echo commanded from the other side of the bathroom door.

I huffed a sound of defiance through my nose and continued to soap up again.

“I’m not gonna let you turn into your father.”

“Maybe it’s too late. I’ve been lying to you. I’ve been keeping things from you. Hell, I even broke some bear laws. I’ve already turned into the bastard.”

“I’m going downstairs,” she replied and I heard her footsteps thumping down the stairs and into the living room. She paced back and forth while I rinsed and decided to face the music—or the Echo. I threw on a pair of black sweatpants and went downstairs. There was no way I could sleep in that state. I expected to see anger, but there were tears upon tears snaking down her face. I’d broken the very thing that caused my heart to beat.

“Sorry isn’t gonna cover this one, is it?”

She shook her head, “Not even close.”