Burden (14 page)

“What?”

“These,” he got up and retrieved a bag from just inside the door, reached in and held up movies, DVDs. And as he flashed the titles in front of my face, I could see what they were.

“Did you go Nicholas Sparks crazy?”

“Yep. Now, I say pajamas, doors locked, phones on vibrate and we’ll have a date at home.”

“Only if you make me a deal.”

“Anything,” he agreed with a smile.

“Don’t go to work upset anymore. Today sucked.”

Friday morning, he left for work right on time, taking his truck. And since I hadn’t had time the day before, I called Martha, ready to get started on my gift for him. Then I made a call to Rev, to help me get all of the bins to Martha’s house. He showed up, bringing all of the bins into Martha’s house while she was in her sewing room, getting everything set up. I had done it all on purpose, trying to get the two of them to look at each other. But it seemed like no matter what I did, they were always in two different places. Finally settled, we began the daunting job of cutting all of those pelts into equal pieces. It looked like we would have just enough for a king sized blanket.

My mind continued to touch down on thoughts about the night before. Hawke
had told me about seeing the woman who claimed to be my mother, but I couldn’t help but doubt it. If she was my mother, why hadn’t she looked for me? And although my initial reaction was wanting to meet her, I just didn’t know anymore.

My phone ringing brought me back, “Hello.”

“Your heart is all over the place, what’s wrong?”

“I was just thinking about my mom. I’m sorry.”

“She’s gonna love you. It’s impossible not to. What are you doing?”

“I’m at Martha’s, making your gift.”

“I’ve got to get back. I will see you later, mate.”

He hung up
, and I felt reassured just hearing his voice. Martha and I called it a day after three, only stopping for lunch. We’d gotten all of the pelts cut and sewed five rows. We only had a million more by the next full moon—no sweat.

On my way
home, my phone rang. Momentarily, I thought it was Echo, and I smiled picking the phone from my pocket. But it was Rev. I cringed thinking about what I’d asked him to research. There was more at hand than Echo’s mother showing up. There was a chance she could, according to our laws, make a claim to Echo that superseded the mate claim. She could also make the accusation that I’d pursued the mate claim without her parents’ permission. It was something just not done. Even if you had met your mate, the law stated that permission must be granted of the female’s parents before proceeding with the rest of the mating. It was rarely denied, every bear knew the power of the mate claim. But I’d had Rev research it just in case she accused me of going against the laws I was trusted to protect.

“Rev, did you find anything?”

“Yes, Alpha. If she decides, she has a legitimate claim. The law states you should’ve made a great effort to find her parents before the mark was made.”

“Shit! So now I just have to wait and see what she does?”

“Yes, and Alpha?”

“What?”

“Be nice to this woman. Give her permission to visit Echo whenever she wants, maybe that will placate her. There’s a chance she could take your mate. The law says she could take her for ninety days. That would be just enough time to break your bond; if the ceremonies are not performed. She would be free to find a mate in another male. While you would be stuck, forever bonded to a female that no longer is bonded to you.”

“
I know,” I growled back at him.

“Goodbye, I will be at the meeting tomorrow.”

I slowed my breathing, hoping my spike in heart rate wouldn’t set her off.

I parked and went into the house, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just an idiot driver in front of me.”

“Oh, yeah, ok. I made meatloaf.”

“I just wanna run with my mate. Can we just do that?”

“Of course. Is it okay now, during the day?”

“Yes,” I reached for her, holding her tight against my chest, trying to squelch the desire to lock her up somewhere her mother could never find her. But my bear knew that her mother would make her happy. She needed to know her, but the thought of her taking my mate from me scrambled my insides.

“You’re all tense. Let’s go now.”

I dragged her out with me and didn’t even have the strength to wait until I undressed, I shifted right outside the back door, splitting and shredding my clothes in the process. My bear let out a tremendous growl, so happy to be able to get rid of the anxiety, if only for a moment. Echo shifted in the same manner, not bothering to release tethers of clothing.

T
hen she took off into the trees never looking back. Her need for a shift was as great as mine. That’s why we were meant for each other, all of our basic needs were on the same levels. We differed in all sorts of things, but our instincts were mirror images of each other.

I watched her in front of me, free and graceful—she didn’t look back to see if I was following. She knew I would. I’d follow her anywhere.

We ran all the way to an area of swamp near the river. Her steps were deliberate, trying not to get mucked down in the recesses. She plopped down beside a tree and scratched an itch on the rough park of a pine tree. Lying down, I could hear the screech of a bald eagle above us. Flopping down next to her on my side, I was able to relax. If my mate was to be taken from me, I would enjoy the moments I had left with her, maybe be able to make them memorable enough—maybe our bond could somehow withstand the time apart. She laid down beside me, head on my rib cage. I knew she listened to my breaths and the beat of my heart just as I listened to hers. My stomach growled in hunger, and it startled her. But my bear didn’t want human food. I could hear a rabbit in the distance, getting closer. I didn’t like to eat rabbits, but chasing them was always fun. As I got up, I noticed Echo’s eyes were on the river. She was hungry as well.

Padding to the river’s edge as quietly as she could, she snuck up on her intended prey. Then without warning, she plunged her head into the water, once, twice, three times, each time moving to a different spot, catching four catfish.

I had yet to see anything my female wasn’t absolutely killer at doing.

She picked up the biggest fish and laid it in front of me and then bumped my muzzle with hers, urging me to eat.

Maybe she deserved a better male than me.

We ate our fish together in the sunset, but as the weather took a turn for cold, I prompted our return. She waited behind me as we approached the house. But upon smelling no one, I turned, letting her shift and go into the house. It took every ounce of restraint not to turn around and look upon the body of my mate.
I heard her shut the other bedroom door, and it wasn’t until then that I shifted and went inside. I showered, hoping the hot water would wash away the sense of looming danger throbbing in the depths of my chest. I heard the door of the bathroom open, and it startled me. There was nothing wrong with her, her heartbeat remained the same.

“I brought you a warm towel and your clothes. Are you hungry still?”

“No, are you?”

“No. I’m going to put the food away. Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”

I hesitated—I thought I was such a damned stealthy male, keeping my heartbeat and feelings under wraps—but I should’ve known better. She was the Coeur, my mate was the heartbeat of the clan. How did I ever think that I could hide something from her?

Idiot.

“Yes, mate of mine. I should’ve known you’d pick up on it.”

“Well, you could’ve tried a little harder, road rage, really?”

I laughed into the spray washing the swamp from my face, “I suck at lying.”

“No kidding. Anyway, you shouldn’t have even tried. I don’t even want to keep the secret of my gift for you. I’m going downstairs.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Shutting the door behind her, she went down the stairs, h
er heart a little more fluttery; anxious to hear what I had to say.

After toweling off, brushing my
teeth and throwing on my boxers and pants, I went downstairs. She still bounced around the kitchen, so I took the opportunity to just watch her. Everything about her was remarkable. She flattened out the aluminum foil onto the top of the pans and then had a system of tucking the short sides in first and then folding the long sides on top. I’d noticed she did the same thing with our bed. The flat sheet was folded and tucked in a way fitting the best hotels.

She took care in everything she did. I couldn’t begin to imagine what gift she was making for our mating ceremony. But what she also didn’t know was that I had taken it upon myself to make her a gift as well.

Next, going to the sink, she reached up to the windowsill and retrieved something from a jar, a hairband, and then proceeded to go through the process of putting all of her hair into that small circle contraption. Her long, graceful arms pulling and swirling those raven tresses this way and that revealing the curve of her waist, growing more and more pronounced as she ate regularly and rested properly.

She was exquisite—and she was mine.

And then she caught me staring.

“What?”

“I love you.”

There was nothing else to say—nothing else that would even come close to explain why I stared at her, why every damn move she made was pure magic.

Mouth opened in awe, she dropped the dish she was working on but said nothing, simply stared out the window.

My heart rate drummed in my chest. It was her—she was coming unglued. I stalked over to her, wasting no time engulfing her in my arms, trying to calm her. The only thing I could think of was anger—she must be mad at me for saying I loved her. I said it too fast. It hadn’t even been a week. I was rushing her and us.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“I said it too quickly. But I can’t help it. I do. I love everything about you. I love who you are. I love how you are perfect for me. I love how you love the clan. I won’t say it again if it bothers you this much.”

“I just never expected it.”

I turned her around—I couldn’t take not looking in her eyes as she spoke.

“You never expected what?”

She moved her gaze downward, “I thought it was just nature taking its course. I thought we were mated and we would live together and raise cubs—and I thought it was all…”

“All what, Echo?”

“All sort of mechanical.”

Mechanical? That’s what her hang up was. She thought the mate claim was nothing more than raging hormones and biologics, DNA working in some factory, pairing together like people for the mating call.

“When you marked me, was that mechanical? When you kiss me, is it cold, unfeeling action?”

“No,” she breathed against my lips.

“I am in love with you, wholly and completely. And I’m not asking you to say it back. I just want you to know. Yes, you are my mate. But even if you weren’t, I don’t think I could help falling in love with you.”

One lone drop fell from her eye. I wiped it away with my thumb. I hated that I’d caused her pain.

She nodded once and then thumped her weary head against my chest. And even though there was a twinge of longing for her to say it back to me, the most important thing was that she now knew. At least we had that. At least I would know, if she ever had to leave, if her mother ever made that call, I’d said it.

“Why don’t you let me finish these and then I’ll be up to bed?”

She ducked out of the cage of my arms without an agreement or argument—practically running upstairs. I washed the rest of the dishes and went upstairs, hoping that she wouldn’t completely be off-put by my confession. My hopes were realized when I walked into the bedroom and she was on the other side of the bed, clinging to the edge of the mattress. Her shaking shoulders gave away her sob.

I had a choice. Either I could’ve gone to sleep, and let her cry or I could do what my bear was begging me to do; I could hold her through the cries and try my best to let her know it was okay.

My bear won.

After brushing my teeth, I crawled in next to her and pulled her against me. She was freezing again.

“It’s okay, Echo,” I soothed in her ear. “You don’t have to say it or even feel it. It’s enough. Me loving you is more than enough for a lifetime. Just promise me one thing.”

“What?”

“Always tell me goodnight. Even if you’re angry, even if you can’t stand the sight of me. I won’t be able to sleep until I hear it.”

“Goodnight, Hawke.”

Hawke—not mate, but Hawke.