Burden (8 page)

I followed her out and as I closed the door, I heard Hawke clear his throat
in the recesses of his home.

It called to me more than a blaring horn, louder than a gonging bell. I reluctantly answered it
not sure if I even knew what to do.

I walked in without knocking this time and waited for him to address my entrance.

“Do you need something?” Still frigid but sincere.

“Yes. I need you to help me please.”

“With what?”  A little less frozen.

“Me—us—just lay it all out for me. I don’t know anything here and it’s killing me that I have hurt you in some way. I don’t even know what I did,” a cry broke free from my chest. It was my bear, she was so woeful and desperate for the presence of her mate. I hated crying. That’s why for the past years I’d forbid myself from doing it.

He got up, threw the chair aside and gathered me up in his strong, arms in an instant. “I’m so sorry. I’ve never done this either. All of the sudden I’m ruled by my bear and apparently he gets his feelings hurt very easily when it comes to you. I’m really bad at this.”

“I am
grateful to you for everything. Please don’t think I’m not. And you accepted me first, made me feel like I was a part of this clan before I even touched the grounds.”

He nuzzled his face into my neck as I’d done earlier, “I know that. That was pure jealousy. And just when I’d gotten over it and was ready to go find you…”

“I came in and asked for Martha’s number.”

He nodded against my shoulder. That was it. He’d wanted me to come to him and instead I’d sought the counsel and trust of someone else.

I shivered at the realization and at the cold air in the house, even in the warmth of his encompassing embrace.

“You’re not even marked,
we’ve had our first fight, and I’ve neglected your most basic needs. You’re freezing and hungry. I suck already.”

“You do not. Please don’t say that. I think everything just caught up with me. I am cold and I have more questions.”

He looked shocked as he reared back to look me in the eye, “I thought you talked to Martha.”

“There were some things she thought were too—intimate to talk about. Plus, we’ve never talked about the basics.”

“Come on,” he let me go, sliding me down against his massive frame “You need to get warmed up and fed. Then more question and answer. I have lots too.”

“You do?”

“Of course, Coeur, I don’t even know how old you are.”

After we’d eaten
, I tucked us both into a heavy quilt, my grandmother’s wedding quilt. She shivered and cuddled in close to me and a satisfied rumble broke in my chest. Something as simple as sharing my warmth with her satisfied me completely. And my bear was pleased as punch to be near her again.

“So, how old are you?”

She smiled up at me, “I’m almost twenty-one.”

“When?”

“They found me in August, but I’m not sure what day. What about you?”

“I’m twenty four. My birthday is January the thirtieth.”

We stayed up until almost midnight talking and discovering the more human things about each other. I could feel her discomfort dissipate the more she learned.

“Do you want to run? Everyone should be asleep by now.”

She looked me dead in the eye, “Because I’m not marked yet.”

“Yes…
Martha?”

“Mmhm
, when will we—I mean when will that happen?”

I couldn’t help myself. I watched her lips as she asked the sexiest question I’d ever heard. All my bear heard was ‘mark me now’—the horn dog.

“Whenever you make the decision, Echo. I can still feel a pinch of doubt in that beautiful head of yours and I won’t claim you until all of that doubt is gone. It wouldn’t be right. I want all of you, completely and totally submitted to the mate claim. It will be the only time you are forced to submit wholly to me and I wholly to you. There can be no doubt.”

She tipped her head in understanding, “But we can still run? I’ve never seen another bear like me.”

“Well, you’re about to—race you there.”

She laughed and scrambled off the couch but I’d been tangling her in the quilt the entire time we were on the couch, so I knew I’d beat her. I had an ulterior motive. I wanted to be stripped and shifted by the time she came outside. I knew she wouldn’t be ready to face undressing in front of me so early.

She gasped as she exited the back door and covered her mouth in wonder. She came to me, stroking my fur, tickling my ear between her fingers, holding my head in her hands. “So this is what I look like, only smaller, probably.”

I huffed in agreement and nudged her with my muzzle, pushing her to shift so we could play.

“Ok, but turn around. No funny business—yet.”

I turned and flounced to the ground, covering my eyes with my paws. My bear was anxious to see her, to play with her, roll on the moss in the swamp, nip at her hind quarters, tumble around with my mate.

Hurry
—it called to her.

I felt her
transition inside of me, tingling and bursting excitement, followed by calm. She was beside me in an instant, pushing her nose under my paws. And the word magnificent didn’t begin to cover her majesty. Her body was streamlined, all speed and agility, her ears were tipped with the barest of browns.

Mate
—my bear called to her, not knowing if it was too soon for her to hear me without the claim or mark being completed. And to my disappointment she showed no signs of acknowledgement. But still, we were together and there were so many things I wanted to show her. So, I pushed her gently, she got the clue and followed me into the swamp, stepping gingerly as her paws first touched the sinking ground. She swatted at bullfrogs with her paws and jumped when a gator thrashed in the water beside her. I took joy in seeing her discover everything for the first time—things I’d taken for granted in my own backyard. We ran for tens of miles, finally collapsing together under the moss curtain of a hundred year old Cypress. As she lay down, she whined—
pain, she hurts
—my animal spoke to me.

Sh
e rolled over and there it was—the sight of her trouble, a lone crawfish clamped onto her fur underneath her neck. I bit it and pulled it from her, relieving her pain.

We nuzzled and played enjoying the gestures that didn’t translate into human contact until she yawned one too many times for my bear to ignore. And then
we fell asleep under that tree, until dawn woke us early the next morning. Running together we approached the house and I smelled River already present in my home. I stepped in front of her and shifted, foregoing the modesty factor for more important matters.

There was an unmated male in my house
, and if she shifted, she would be naked.

“I’m going inside to get you some clothes. Do not shift until I get back. River is in the house.”

She nodded and I sprinted for her room, grabbing anything that would suitably cover her form temporarily and then throwing on a pair of shorts to cover myself, as well. I returned to her as quickly as possible, and brought her out to the tool shed, closing her in so she could shift back and change. She knocked on the door and I was satisfied, my mate was covered again.

Opening the door, she was already blushing. I thought it was because just minutes before she’d been stark naked behind a frail piece of plywood. But I felt a twinge of something else—and then as soon as I recognized the sense, it slammed into me full force—desire.

“Echo—you are beautiful, both of you. I felt complete out there, just you and me.”

“I did too.”

“Why the blush?” I knew why but needed to hear it.

“You shifted back right in front of me.”

“Ahhh—I caused that? I have been told I have a nice butt.”

She swatted at my arm,
“Don’t get smug. I’ve just never seen a male, you know, naked.”

I reached for her hand, “I hope to always make you blush, my heart. Now, one of my
Betas is up way too early. Let’s go see what he needs.”

She squeezed my hand in agreement. Through the house to the office, I found River.

“You’re up early, Beta.”

“Yes, Alpha, Chloe wo
ke me up very early with backstabby, gossipy whining about Echo.”

“What about her?”

“She says she does not believe she should have to obey a female Alpha who has not been marked. She’s really kicking up a stink. She’s refusing to come to any future meetings. And then Mom threw me out for waking her up at what she called an ungodly hour, talking too loudly on the phone to said annoying beta female.”

Echo looked at me and nodded,
and I took it as permission. The marking would be completed soon.

“It will be taken care of before she knows it. I don’t know why she’s so damned concerned.”

“Thank you, Alpha. I’m going home to call Chloe, tell her to shut her big mouth, relieve her of her position and then crawl back into my bed. Y’all have a good sleep.”

“We will.”

He left and shut the door behind him.

“I need a shower, bad. I smell like swamp.”

I bent to pull her hands up to my mouth, kissing each one, “You smell like a black bear female whose been traipsing through the swamp with her mate. And trust me, nothing about that is bad. But if you must, go take your shower and I’ll take mine next. Are you hungry?”

“No, but I’m still tired.”

“So am I. Shower and sleep. Good morning, Echo.”

She left me to shower and I went to my own bathroom and showered at the same time. It was almost excruciating to know she was a mere twenty feet away, completely stripped and I couldn’t jo
in her. I washed the swamp away and dried off, throwing on a pair of boxers and a pair of shorts and jumped into the bed. I had two more full days with her before I had to return to work. And leaving her wasn’t going to be pretty. Hopefully, she’d agree to the mark before then. Otherwise, I’d be in deep shit.

I fell asleep with her name on my lips, only to be wo
ken minutes later by a hand stroking my back. I lifted my chest from the bed and turned my head to see Echo, in nothing but a simple undershirt with lace straps and the shortest pair of pajama shorts I’d ever seen.

“Do you need something? Are you okay?”

She was undeniably gorgeous. I thought for a second it might be a dream.

She took a big, deep breath and blew it out, “Can I sleep here? I kinda missed you after sleeping with you all night.”

“Kinda?”

“OK, tons. You’ve spoiled me.
Two days and I’m some kind of wuss. I was freezing in there. And all I could think about was you…”

“Me what?”

“Just let me in—I’m cold.”

“Get in,” I pushed over in my king sized bed.

“I need a blanket,” she moved to get up.

But before she could
, I grabbed her around the waist and tucked her as close to me, her back to my chest, as I could get her without smothering. I threw one leg around both of hers and she sighed.

God, yes, the sigh of my contented female. It was a sound I’d unknowingly longed for—wished for—hoped for.

“You still need a blanket,” I asked playfully in her ear.

But she was already asleep. As I tried to
fall asleep next to her, she turned, now facing my chest, fast asleep and called my name. She’d completely wrecked my world in those ten minutes—how was I ever going to handle the happiness she’d bring me for the rest of my life?

I fell asleep with my mate in my arms, and my bear firmly in a state of calm for the first time in my life.

My cell rang sometime later but I couldn’t will myself to move.

“Hello?” Echo was answering my phone and I failed at trying to squelch my smile.

“Yes, hello. How are you?”

“I’m well, thank you. How can I help you?” She was sitting up in bed, and I snuck a bite on her outer thigh.

“Ouch! Oh, sorry, yes. We will be there shortly.” She hung up the phone.

“I cannot believe you. What if he thought we were…”

“Who?”

“Tarrow, he has a financial issue he wants to speak to us about.”

“And what would he think we were doing,” I asked pulling her back down by her thighs and hovered over her. Her hair was all around her, like a halo of darkness and she was flushed in the morning light.

Her eyes got wide and I chuckled, “Say it.”

“Hell no. You say it.”

I cocked an eyebrow, meeting her challenge, “He’d think I was sinking my teeth int
o your thigh, claiming you, sealing our bond. It would, of course, be the same place you’d already chosen to leave your mark. Or he’d think we were doing other things.”

But neither of us were fool
ing around anymore. She’d turn keyed on me somewhere in our play and wrapped her leg around my hip. And I took advantage, rolling her on top of me so she would have some control. Maybe it would ease her nervousness.

Her hair trickled down around us, creating curtains around both sides of my head so that all I could see was her. She had brilliant turquoise eyes, perfect porcelain skin that was dotted with a few freckles from the corners of her eyes to her temples. And a mouth that without words begged me to experience
her kiss.

She was studying me in turn, her eyes flowing down until our sights were both locked on the other’s mouth.

“Kiss me, Hawke,” she whispered.

The heat between us sparked and bounced fire so hot, I could almost see the flames licking at her face. She was a treasure beyond words and I longed to give her the best of me. I pushed up on my elbows moving my face inches from where it wanted to be, but I needed her to close the distance. She was the restraint in this relationship—the only thing holding me back from leaving my mark in every way possible was her resistance. And my bear needed to know that she needed me just as much as I needed her.

She leaned down further, running one sinewy hand through my hair and then her mouth came down on mine in a breath of touch, our lips barely meeting, but it was enough for me to know that something had changed when we’d shifted together the night before. It had connected us in a way humans could never understand. Because our bears knew no social awkwardness, no false bravado or artificial examples set by TV or movies. All our bears knew was truth, raw and carnal, love, boundless and endless. And where we’d failed to bridge the gap between us as humans, our bears had forged the connection instantly.