Broken Wings: Genesis (18 page)

There were days when the thought
of immortality was a craving. I mean, who wouldn’t consider the possibility of
living forever, growing and watching a changing world? Then there were days
like today, when I looked into the mirror at the bruises on my chin and neck,
the dark circles under my eyes, and the worst part––the tiredness of it all
that stared back at me. Those were the days when I prayed reincarnation was a
certainty and that I’d paid off enough karma in this lifetime to come back as
something a little less complicated––like a tree frog. I’d settle for being a
bag lady.

Now I had some pretty strong
evidence that reincarnation was a reality. Look at the amount of karma Ithane
had bought off with her deeds. Yet here I was, and I had to do it all over
again. It makes me wonder what she had racked up over the years in karmic debt,
to end up coming back as me.

I pushed away from the sink,
hopped in the shower and turned it on full cold. It made me jump at first, but
soon my body numbed to it. I wish my mind were that numb. I stared at the soap
for a long time before picking it up and starting to scrub away. I was
procrastinating and I knew it. The time had come for me to make a decision and
I knew already what it had to be.

Once I set my mind to it and the
plan began to form, I was able to throw myself into getting ready to face the
inquisition squad. It was time. I wrapped my bathrobe snug around me, and
headed out into the living room. I almost giggled, imagining what must be going
through the minds of those who waited for me. They stared in silence, watching
me cross the room in bare feet, wet hair and an oversized fuzzy bathrobe––the
perfect picture of the person who was their ideal savior to humanity. What a
joke.

Chaz had a cup of coffee waiting
for me by the time I got to the kitchen. He raised his eyebrows in question,
and I managed a crooked smile, before turning around to face the rest of them.
Gabriel, Sariel, Father David, and Ke all watched me closely, trying to judge
what state of mind I was in this morning. Okay, so Ke wasn’t so much looking at
me. Or at least he wouldn’t meet my eyes. It didn’t matter to me any more.

I leaned back into the counters
that framed the kitchen and took a sip of coffee.

“Okay Gabriel, you got it. I’ll go
to the Crystal City with you today.”

Gabriel nodded without speaking,
as though he expected my answer. But I wasn’t done yet. I held up a warning
finger to stop the protests I saw forming on Sariel’s lips.

“Uh-uh.” I waggled the finger at
her. “Don’t even. Did you think I wouldn’t guess what it was you did to me in
the dreamscape last night?”

She had the grace to blush. Good
girl. There was no denying it, and she knew it.

“What happened, Yesh?”

“The Grigori decided to reawaken
the energy inside of me last night. What that means, I’m not sure yet. But they
took matters into their own hands, when I wasn’t jumping the way they wanted me
to.”

Father David was frowning at
Sariel and Gabriel was in full glare mode. The Archangel
wasn’t happy about what the Grigori had done, that was obvious. It was okay by
me––I was with him on this one.

“It is still your choice whether
to use it or not.” Sariel sniffed. “And you could have chosen not to allow it.
But you didn’t. You accepted it, because whether you realize it or not, it is
as natural to you as breathing.”

“You are messing with the Natural
Order, Grigori.” Gabriel was hot, his anger teeming in words issued through
clenched teeth.

“
I’m
messing with the
Natural Order?” Sariel laughed, but the sound was bitter and full of
accusation. “Oh, that’s
rich
, Gabriel.”

“Both of you stop right now.” I
ordered and pointed to Ke. He wasn’t going to sit on the sidelines and not
involve himself. He had gotten me into this mess in the first place, as far as
I was concerned. “
You
––explain.”

He looked up at me, meeting my
eyes for the first time since I walked into the room this morning. I saw
sadness there, resignation, but also a bite of anger. Directed at me? Or
directed at them?

“Sariel told you the Grigori
believed the natural flow couldn’t be stopped, or havoc would ensue.”

I shrugged. “I suspected as much.
She never specifically mentioned which side the Grigori took in all of this, or
who the
others
were that wanted to put a kink in the hose. But yeah, I
had figured that much out.”

Sariel was giving Ke a warning
glance. I turned on her. “Look, lady, you want me to even consider the part you
guys are putting forth in all of this? Then I need some answers––straight and
clear. If you can’t do that much then get the hell out of here, because I’ve
had it with being moved around like a pawn on a chessboard.” I turned back to
look at all of them. “As far as you’re concerned, this pawn has made it to the
other side and has retaken the queen. I’ve figured out I can move in any
direction I want, as many spaces as I choose or don’t choose to take. This
choice is supposed to be mine to make and you’d better start treating it that
way, or your piece will be the next to be removed from play––got it?”

I didn’t get any assents, but I
wasn’t hearing any arguments, either. It was a start. I looked back at Ke.
“Straight from the hip––no crap.”

Ke nodded. To his credit, he
didn’t even bother looking at Sariel before continuing. “The Grigori
anticipated you would go with Gabriel to the Crystal City.
That is why they reawakened the energy within you, so you would have defenses.”

I hadn’t expected that answer.
“Defenses from what? The Thrones? The Archangels? Are you trying to tell me I
would be in danger if I went with Gabriel?”

“You would suffer no harm at the
hands of the angelic host.” Gabriel’s eyes with glittering with suppressed
anger. He wasn’t telling all, though, and he didn’t look happy at Ke’s
revelations.

“But it doesn’t have to be harm at
the hands of the angelic host now, does it, Gabriel?” Sariel was a bit testy.

“And what is that supposed to
mean?” I asked in a low voice.

Ke wasn’t meeting my eyes again.
“It means that if you went with Gabriel to the Crystal City,
they wouldn’t have to harm you. All they would have to do is to keep you there.
That would effectively stop you from participating in any way they didn’t want
you to.”

The look I turned on Gabriel was
cold. “Is this true?”

He wouldn’t reply, which gave me
my answer.

Okay. I had moved into the realm
of pissed beyond belief. I took another sip of coffee, not trusting myself to
speak. Father David was glowering at Gabriel. The good Padre was in about the
same state I was. I don’t blame him. Gabriel was a part of what his whole
religious belief system was based upon, and he wasn’t happy with how that
element was moving. Chaz came around the kitchen counter to stand by me. He
gave my arm a little squeeze for support.

“Fine.” I set my cup of coffee
down on the kitchen counter. “I will still go with you to the Crystal City.”

“What?” Sariel was in a state of
outraged shock.

 
“Yeshua, are you sure––?” Wow. Even Father
David was concerned now about my going.

Ke’s expression was unreadable.
Gabriel’s look was smug. I was about to wipe that smugness right off his
angelic face.

“But only on the condition that
the ban on the Grigori is lifted. I will not go without backup.”

Gabriel didn’t even bat an
eyelash. “No. It is not possible.”

“Then I guess you can tell the
Thrones that my visit is not possible.”

“You cannot be serious.”

I leaned in toward him, my eyes
glittering with the full force of cold anger. “Do I look like I’m kidding,
Gabriel?”

“I cannot authorize it. I do not
have the authority.”

“Then come back to me when you
can, because nothing less will make me go with you.”

“They will never allow it.”

“Why are you doing this?” Ke
asked, trying to read my expression.

I held fingers up, ticking off my
points. “One, because I will have the power to make my own decisions. I will
not have that right taken away from me, as much as it would be great to put the
blame solely on the angelic hosts if everything goes to pieces. Two, because I
now have this excess crap running through me that I have no clue on how to
control. It doesn’t do me a whole lot of good to have it and not be able to use
it if it’s needed. So I need the Grigori there to teach me how––or help me to
remember how––whatever, it needs to be done.”

I turned to Sariel. “And don’t
think this pushes me over to your way of thinking. You have pissed me off in
ways that no one else has ever managed to do before. I’m not asking Gabe, here
for a permanent return of the Grigori, and certainly not for the entire host of
Grigori to show up en masse at the Crystal
City. I wouldn’t buy it
either, in his position.”

My eyes met Gabriel’s. “What I am
asking is for ten Grigori, Chaz and Father David.”

The Padre started shaking his
head. “No, Yeshua, it is not my place to join you.” His expression was wistful.
“As much as I would love to make the trip, I don’t feel that’s where I need to
be. My place is here, making other preparations.”

I nodded. “Fair enough, Father. I
trust your judgment.” I looked back to Gabriel. “Eleven Grigori, then, plus
Chaz. That gives me a full complement of thirteen. I think that’s a fitting
number for the fallen guardian of the Thirteenth Gate.”

Gabriel looked at me, studying my
intent. I think he fully understood at this point, that I wasn’t going to back
down.

He nodded. “I believe I can
authorize that much. It will not be pleasant, but I am willing to put myself on
the line for that request.”

I shrugged. “Works for me. If it
helps, you can place the blame fully on my shoulders. I’m willing to accept it.
Let them know right up front that it wasn’t a request, it was a demand––a
non-negotiable one.”

Sariel was frowning. “Only
eleven––?”

“Don’t push it. You and Ke are two
of those. Pick the other nine from the group in the dreamscape last night.
Don’t switch your players in the middle of the big game. It’s not a smart
move.”

“Me, Yesh?” Chaz was looking at me
with concern. “I can’t do a lot to help you. Maybe you should consider an extra
Grigori?”

I gave him a smile. “Don’t you
want to go, kid?”

His eyes widened. “Oh no––I want
to go more than anything. I would just rather make sure you’re safe.”

I nodded, in full agreement.
“That’s why you’re coming, Chaz. Out of everyone here, whom do you think I
would trust to be straight up with me? Gabriel? The Grigori? Not a chance.
Especially since Father David’s not coming, I want you there. I
trust
you kid. Maybe more than I trust myself right now.”

“Sure, Yesh. I’ll be there for
you.”

I turned back to the rest of the
room. “So, when do we leave?”

“Now. Too much time has passed
already.” Gabriel stood up, firm in his decision.

I laughed, looking down at my bathrobe
and morning state of disarray. “How about I go throw some clothes on first?”

*
  
*
  
*

I wasn’t sure what to expect when
I came back out from getting dressed. I had on full leather, as usual. I wasn’t
going to get dolled up for this meeting, no matter how important the Thrones
were. And I’m pretty sure they were at the top of the angelic food chain. I
just couldn’t recall the exact order of the hierarchy. It had been a while
since those studies.

Sariel was gone by the time I was
ready. I assumed that meant she was handpicking the Grigori who would be going
along. I had a pack thrown over my shoulder, with a few things gathered that I
might possibly need. But since I had no clue as to what I was getting myself
into at this point, it might not have even been worth taking along. I didn’t
even know how long I would be gone, but I suspected it was at least an
overnight trip.

Chaz must have thought the same
thing, because he had a pack sitting next to his feet. The kid looked almost
shell shocked, and it made me feel bad. I almost told him he didn’t have to go,
but I really
needed
him there with me. He had a way of being my eyes and
ears, and sometimes my thinking cap when I went off half-cocked. Looking around
at the others gathered in the room, and thinking back to the interactions of
the last couple of days, I knew Chaz’s level head would be needed to help me
sort through things. I guess that doesn’t say a whole lot for my temperament,
if I felt the best thing to keep me in line was a twenty-year-old kid.

Everyone stood up when I entered
the living room. Father David came over to me, putting his hands on my
shoulders and holding me at arms length. He stared at me a long time with
compassion in his eyes.

“Be safe, Yeshua. Come back to
us.”

I gave him a lop-sided smile. “I
plan on coming back, Padre. I’ll let you know what you’re in for when
you
finally make the trip.”

His return smile was warm and
genuine. “You do that.” He pulled me into his embrace, holding tight while he
whispered a prayer for safety in my ear. “Don’t forget, Yeshua. You have free
will. They do not. Make your decisions wisely––I get the feeling you hold our
fate in your hands.”

I pulled back. “No pressure, eh,
Father?”

But the unsettling feeling of the
truth of his words sank to my stomach like a stone. What was I thinking? I had
no right to be making this kind of decision for the rest of the world. The
enormity of the thought made me want to throw up. But I swallowed and steadied
myself, giving a nod to Gabriel.

“I’m ready.”

Gabriel answered by stepping
forward and holding his hand out in front of him, away from where everyone else
stood in the room. A slight shimmer rippled in the air, and then grew to
brightness. Within seconds, a mirror-like surface resembling the Gate I had
seen in my dreams reproduced itself in miniature in the middle of my living
room.