Broken Wings: Genesis (28 page)

My steps led me back to the
apartment. I needed to find Chaz. He was right where I thought he would be.
Arianna was there with him, looking even more miserable than she had in the
Hall of Thrones. The cherub looked up with tears in her eyes and threw herself
into my arms.

“Yeshua, I am so sorry. They made
me do it. They ordered me to do it.”

I froze, my thoughts turning to
ice. “What did they make you do? Who made you do what?”

“The Thrones,” she sobbed, holding
me tighter. “They told me to make sure you and Ke got left alone a lot. They
wanted you to have time to get to know him. They–”

Oh they did, did they?
But I didn’t say it out loud. Chaz caught
the look in my eye. It was my dangerous look, the one that glittered with
promised retribution. His eyes grew wide. I loosened the cherub’s hold on me
and dropped down to one knee, bringing me to eye level with the little angel.

“Listen, Arianna.” I used a finger
to tilt her face to mine, making her look me in the eye. “The next time
something like this goes down, I need for you to let me know. Don’t ever become
like those unfeeling creatures that mess with people’s heads. Do you
understand?”

She nodded, the tears still bright
in her eyes.

“I’m not blaming you. My feelings
developed of their own free will. No one forced me into feeling the way I do.
Heck, I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now. Foolish? Certainly.
Betrayed? Most definitely. But I wouldn’t be feeling that way if I hadn’t let
my emotions go where they did in the first place. They only put the bait in
front of me. I could’ve have chosen not to take it.”

I gave her a quick hug. It wasn’t
something I knew how to do, so my actions were stiff. But I think she got the
idea. I came back to my feet, turning my attention to Chaz.

“Look, kid–”

“You’re leaving.” His tone was
flat.

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Are you going to stop Ke?”

“That’s the plan.”

“Do you think––?” He shook his
head. “Never mind, Yesh. I know whatever decision you make it will be the right
one.”

“Thanks, kid. I’m glad that you’ve
been in my corner.” I blinked rapidly, trying to swallow past the growing lump
in my throat.

“It ain’t over ’til it’s over,
Yesh.” He gave me a lopsided grin. “Don’t talk like it’s already over.”

I tried to smile, but it probably
didn’t come out that way. “I’m a realist, Chaz. There’s not much of a chance
I’ll be coming back from this one.”

“You’ll come back, Yesh. You’re
not done yet.”

“What? You think I have more crap
to live through?”

“Penance, Yesh. You haven’t
finished making up for all your mistakes yet.”

My laugh was genuine. “Gee, thanks
for giving me something to look forward to.” But I sobered. “Listen, kid. After
I leave, have Arianna here take you to someone who can get you back to Earth.
Don’t hang out here with these angels. No one deserves that kind of purgatory.”

Arianna was nodding, wide-eyed, as
though I had just issued her marching orders. Good. She’d take care of him.

“Go to Father David and tell
him––” I frowned. “Heck, tell him to get ready, Chaz. He already has a clue.
Let him be as prepared as he can. Stand by his side, Chaz. You’re both going to
need each other, whatever comes next.”

“Stop it, Yesh.” He snapped at me,
but I could tell his anger was only a cover up for the pain reflected in his
eyes. “Stop talking as if you’re done. You are
not
done. If you keep
that attitude, you
will
be done. Isn’t that what you told me back when
you found me? You made me fight for life, Yesh, when I didn’t want to live any
more. Well, back at you.”

I had to turn away. The tears were
starting to burn my eyes. Leave it to the kid to throw
that
back in my
face.

“Take care, kid.” I said in a
hoarse whisper as I headed toward the door.

“Back atcha.”

I allowed myself the luxury of a
few minutes of wallowing before I sucked it up and picked up the pace, going to
the one place I had to be. I felt a presence fall in beside me, matching me
step for step. I didn’t have to look

“What do you want, Gabriel? Or are
you my own private watch dog?”

“No. I am here on my own.”

“Of your own free will?” My laugh
came out as a sharp bark. “That’s rich.”

“Yeshua––”

“Save it, Gabe. I’m heading down
to do what is necessary.”

We were coming up the hill to the
Thirteenth Gate. I could see it looming into view, my nightmare and my destiny
all rolled into one. Even if it was my destiny, I can’t imagine it would ever
be more than an object of my nightmares. When we reached the Gate, there was a
moment of silence while we both stood lost in our individual thoughts.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and
I turned to face the Archangel with a sigh.
“I’m going to ask you again, Gabriel––what do you want?”

Gabriel’s face was twisted with
emotion. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought it was regret. I didn’t
know angels could feel regret.

“Yeshua, I do not agree with the
actions of the Thrones and what they did to you.” He looked away. “I wanted you
to know that.”

I sighed again, but deeper this
time, taking a few moments to release my anger and all other emotions, blowing
the air out slowly. “Gabriel, it has been brought home to me time and time
again that humans have free will, while the angels do not.”

He nodded, but still wouldn’t look
at me.

“Okay, so ask yourself this––If
the Thrones have no free will, and have to act on following the flows of the
pattern, does it not then stand that this was supposed to happen?”

He opened his mouth and then shut
it again.

I nodded. “I know. What a concept.
I would love to rant and rail against fate and the future, whatever other kind
of mess is thrown at me. But the fact is, while they could’ve handled it in a
much
better way, all of this was meant to be. They did nothing that wasn’t against
the pattern. They couldn’t have––they don’t have that capability.”

Gabriel nodded, but he still
looked unhappy. “You are very generous for a human.”

I laughed. “Generous? No. I am
very selfish. I keep trying to tell you all that, but no one seems to want to
listen. But I am a realist, Gabriel. Whatever is meant to happen, will happen.”

Gabriel turned back to me, his
look intent. “But don’t you see, Yeshua?
You
can change what is meant to happen.”

I shrugged. “Well I guess it’s a
crap shoot then, isn’t it? No matter what I do, how will you all know whether
it was meant to happen, or if I changed what was supposed to happen? My
decision affects the outcome for all existence, as we know it. It sucks to be
me, don’t you think?”

“From what I have seen so far,
Yeshua Star, I could not have chosen a better champion for humanity than you
are.”

“Thanks, Gabe.” That was quite the
compliment, all things considered. My chuckle was lost with anything more I
would have said as the flat, blank surface of the Gate began to churn with
blurred, swirling images. “What the––?”

The pictures became more distinct,
becoming forms instead of blobs. When they took the final shape, my blood ran
cold. I was looking at one of the largest metropolis areas on Earth. In the
background, flames and smoke were billowing like grey-black cotton candy from a
tower. While I watched, I could see a plane circling in. It was too evident,
from this vantage point, what its intention was. I held out my hand as though I
could pluck it out of the air, but it didn’t stop the horror of what happened
next. It slammed into an identical twin tower standing next to the first,
adding more flames and smoke to the curling darkness that blanketed the sky.

The first tower began to collapse.
I thought I was going to puke. All those people––

“It has begun.” Gabriel’s voice
was hoarse with emotion and shock.

“But the other signs haven’t
manifested on the physical.” I could feel the hysteria creeping into my voice.
This couldn’t be happening. “How can this one show up before the others?”

Gabriel shook his head. He
couldn’t tear his eyes away from the unfolding nightmare of tragedy any more
than I could. “It does not work like that. The other signs may show up
tomorrow, or even years from now. It is enough that they have manifested in the
ethers.”

My stomach churning, I squared my
shoulders. “I have to go, Gabriel.”

“I will take you––”

I shook my head. “No. I have to do
this on my own.”

“Yeshua, you don’t–”

“Goodbye, Gabriel.” Without
looking back at the Archangel, I threw myself
into the Gate.

There are times when you take the
time and think things through and then make the best decision you can with the
information at hand. I had probably wasted a lot of the time I’d wandering
around in a fog of confusion, whining the mantra of the victim in my mind,
Why
is this happening to me?

Then there are the times where you
jump in with both feet to get wet and find the water is icy cold. This is
compounded when you have grown so distrustful of those who might have tried to
warn you that things might not be as they appeared. Those are the times when
you look at your situation and realize you are in some deep shit. Not that the
Angels had given me any real cause to trust them, but Gabriel had tried to
extend the hand of, well, I wouldn’t call it friendship, but it might qualify
as a hand of truce. I’m pretty sure that when he called out to me at the last,
it was in warning. I should have listened.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda. Isn’t
that the cyclic round of self-flagellation that strikes us when we realize we
have made a big mistake at great cost? The stakes were pretty high on this one,
and there wasn’t a whole lot to be done about it now. There should have been a
warning printed at the bottom of the Thirteenth Gate, one of those “
Objects
in the rearview mirror may not be as close as you think
” type of deals. I
had thought that going through the Gate would be the same as I had
arrived––just stepping through from one scene to the next. There I go thinking
again. The Angelic Host had obviously neglected to give me the proper password.

As I tumbled through the air, all
of these thoughts passed through my mind. Judging from the distance I had to go
before I hit the ground, I probably had a couple of minutes. Then it would be a
good solid, splat. I had to be tens of thousands of feet––miles above the
Earth. As I keep trying to convince myself and everyone else around me, I am a
realist. So I needed to get real. Gabriel knew I had thrown myself in Hair Kari
fashion from the Gate. I guess I was going to find out just how much the Angels
really cared about whether I succeeded in my task or not. He would either swoop
in to spare me the inevitable end I was being faced with, or he wouldn’t. There
wasn’t a lot of wiggle room on this one.

They say that when faced with
death, a lifetime of memories will flash before your eyes. I didn’t have that
many memories that I wanted to revisit. Since I had had so little real joy in
life, I decided to take a moment to relax enjoy the last few minutes I had, if
that’s how it was going to be. I had never been one to spend my life in worry,
I just did. The one thing I’d always craved to experience was the feeling of
flight. So be it. Here I was, miles above my impact point. If I could pass the
issue of landing, I could at least try to enjoy the flight.

I closed my eyes, giving into the
feeling of the air rushing against my face, cold and stinging, whipping my hair
around. Spreading my arms, I gave in further to the illusion and felt them pushed
upward in a fight against the force of the wind. It was exhilarating. The same
thought crossed my mind as earlier when I saw Angels walking the streets of the
Crystal City. If I had wings, I would never
walk. This was the only true method of transportation.

Not one to give into make-believe,
I allowed myself a flight into imagination. For one brief moment in time, while
I was suspended in a free fall out of my control, I allowed myself to believe I
really was flying, that I was in control with wings to carry me wherever I
might wish to go. I felt a pull at my back and opened my eyes in a brief moment
of surprise. My fall had slowed and seemed more under control. I was not just
heading downward, I was moving forward, toward the smoke and destruction, toward
my ultimate destination.

“It’s good to know you’ve got my
back.” I called out flippantly to Gabriel. I knew he’d caught me, saved me from
my headlong plunge into foolishness. “What took you so long?”

To his credit, he didn’t respond.
That was fine by me. I wasn’t much in the mood for a lecture. But I was still
flying. Maybe it wasn’t under the power of my imagination, but I still allowed
myself to indulge in the sheer freedom of it. I
knew
it would be like
this. Having the fantasy become reality certainly didn’t disappoint me.

Just as the mirrored surface of
the Gate had zoomed in to show the metropolis from a distance and getting
closer, so we flew in, the haze of smoke and blurriness taking on the forms of
buildings that reached upward like fingers into the sky. Gabriel took us on a
flight path leading directly into the heart of blackness, the curling dark
formless smoke that formed a catchall net to the surrounding city. Weaving in
and out of the buildings in our way, we finally reached our destination.

The ground was coming up a little
fast for my taste, but I trusted the Archangel
knew what he was doing. I let my feet drop down, to catch the weight of my body
as I felt the solid earth once again under my feet. Maybe I shouldn’t have been
that trusting. Maybe Gabriel was trying to teach me a lesson for my
foolishness. But I hit the ground at a solid run, the force jarring my entire
body with the pain of impact. The momentum was too fast for my body to
compensate. I stumbled and fell. Pain struck me from several places at once.