Broken Wings: Genesis (20 page)

“The woman, Yeshua, would not come
without them.” Gabriel’s voice gave away a little of his frustration.

“She always was insolent, acting
above her station in the hierarchy.” This was from the male angel who sat to
Delphia’s left.

I frowned. Evidently my past self
was as much a rogue as my present self. Maybe that’s why I was the way that I
was. I would really have to learn more about this Ithane.

“This is more than insolence, Sardis.” Gabriel spoke
with quiet dignity. “Sariel and Ke have returned her full power to her, though
she knows not yet how to use it.”

There was a lot of mumbling among
the Thrones. They weren’t happy about that little tidbit of information.
Delphia narrowed her eyes and looked past me to the two Grigori Gabriel had
called attention to.

“So you mean to
try
and see
this through.”

There was an implied threat to her
tone I didn’t care for. Obviously Ke and Sariel didn’t care for it, either.
Neither one responded to the question. They made their intent clear without
words. Delphia said nothing, but her gaze became thoughtful. She was staring
directly at Ke. Her head tipped and a questioning look crossed her face. From
out of nowhere, her laughter erupted to fill the hall. I jumped at the sound.
For some reason, I got the feeling her amusement was not a good sign.

“Oh this is
rich
.”
Sarcastic irony dripped into the tone of her voice. “You are bound to a
human
form.”

I watched the rest of the Thrones
scrutinizing Ke, and judging the same for themselves. It left them all amused.
I didn’t have to look at the Grigori to know he was unhappy about being the
subject of their amusement. I could
feel
the angry embarrassment rolling
off him.

Delphia let her laughter die down,
and her look was speculating. “I guess it will remain to be seen as to how much
of yourself you are willing to give to see this through, then.”

She looked back to me, dismissing
Ke with her action. “And you, human. What are your intentions in this affair?”

I shrugged, deciding to play it
straight. “I haven’t made up my mind yet.”

“Do you not realize what is at
stake?” The female to Delphia’s right spoke this time. She seemed amazed that I
wasn’t falling into their plans.

“I––”

Gabriel cut me off before I could
respond. “She knows very little as of yet, Thyatira. And there is more that
must be made known to the hosts that has happened since I left.”

I
could have told them that
much.

“Such as––?”

“The Morning Star has hosted, and
yet has not made his move.” Gabriel frowned. “But he has sought out the human
female to test her strengths.”

“This
human female
has a
name––” I scowled.

“The trumpets have begun to
sound.” Gabriel continued over the top of me.

“How many?” Delphia leaned forward
in her seat.

“Four.”

More muttering was heard from the
Thrones. Good. Let them be a little off balance for a change. I didn’t particularly
like their attitude at this point. Even the Grigori had been less obnoxious.

Delphia sat back, looking
thoughtful. Then she turned her look back to me.

“So, human, I guess it is time for
you to make a decision.”

“Yeshua.” I said softly. “My name
is Yeshua.”

Delphia shrugged. “Regardless––”

“Regardless, my ass.” I was over
this whole thing. Chaz put a hand to my arm, but I shrugged it off. He probably
saw the look on Delphia’s face turn cold and was trying to give me warning. I
saw it too, but I’d had enough.

“You’re right. I
do
have a
decision to make.” My voice was hard, and my expression could’ve probably
matched Delphia’s in its coldness. “But guess what?
Newsflash
––it’s
my
decision to make. Not just
how
I make it, but
when
I make it.”

“How dare you––”

“How dare I?” I laughed, throwing
her words back in her face. “I dare because I am an insolent human. I dare,
because for all your supposed superiority and all your power, I have something
you don’t. I have the free will to make my choice. I dare, because while you
sit up here judging those you consider being lesser beings, and possibly
condemning them into non-existence by your action or inaction, I care enough to
realize that lesser beings or not, we were created with a purpose in mind. What
that purpose is, I don’t know. But I do know that because we were created, we
have as much right to existence as you do, and we have as much say in this
whole thing as you do.”

“Don’t try to tell me what to do
or when to do it.” I turned to push my way back through the angelic crowds. I
was feeling pretty sick of being surrounded by all this compassion right now.
If I didn’t get out of here, I might just haul off and sock the smug look off
Delphia’s face. I didn’t know what repercussions that might have, but the
thought in itself was gratifying. Before I left, I turned back again to Delphia

 
“You might want to think about something. Four
trumpets have sounded. The fifth, whenever it may happen, will happen sooner or
later. It’s not even a matter of
if
any more, is it? It’s a matter of
when
.
The longer I take to make up my mind about what I may or may not do, the better
your chances are that I might just miss my opportunity to do anything. Isn’t
that what you want? For me to sit back and do nothing and hope this whole thing
will go away?”

“I never asked for this. I
certainly don’t need this kind of headache. If you all had just left me alone,
you might have been able to let this pass and I would’ve never been the
wiser––and you would have had what you wanted.
You
dragged me into this.
You want a decision? You’ll have it when I make up my mind.”

To their credit, not a single
angel said a word. I left, dragging Chaz with me, and the crowd parted silently
to let me through. I had no idea where I was going, but I needed to not be
here
until I had the chance to calm down.

Sometimes life could be pretty
unfair. Take right now for instance. I had just finished a job where I didn’t
get a lot of sleep thanks to the whole creep beating the crap out of me every time
I had tried. You would think a person in that situation would get a little rest
and relaxation before the next gig started. But no, I have to deal with a bunch
of creatures that want me to play Solomon to their Hundred Year War. Only,
their war has gone one for a lot longer than a hundred years.

In the essence of fairness, after
I had cooled down from my meeting with the Thrones, I had sepnt the rest of the
day with the Grigori trying to learn how to deal with the overwhelming
magnitude of the power they had thrust upon me. The argument could be made that
none of these guys were playing fair with me. But we’re talking about me having
to make a decision that doesn’t just involve a handful of people on a piece of
land, it involves the whole human race. I owed it to humanity to at least give
it my best shot. My best guess at this point is that if I had to be relied upon
to save humanity, the world was in for a big hurt.

Maybe under other circumstances, I
could look at my lack of control over the energy the Grigori had instilled in
me as a lesson in patience and humility. But I didn’t have that luxury. It
frustrated me to no end that I couldn’t grasp the concept of the energy and how
to use it. Every flow I drew on was so much wild energy. Every weave I made came
unraveled. Was it simply because I was under pressure? Well, what if I was in
the middle of a big battle––wouldn’t that constitute pressure? I couldn’t
afford to think of it in those terms.

Was it because the Grigori looking
on while Sariel taught me to control the energy running through my body,
calling out their individual tidbits of advice and whatnot weren’t so good at
hiding their looks of disappointment and disgust with my every failure? Maybe,
but I was pissed enough to call them on the carpet for that. Let them try to be
in human form and deal with something outside of human comprehension.

All I really wanted to do was go
back to my normal life. Well, okay, maybe my life wasn’t so normal in the first
place, but at least it was
mine
. Right now it seemed everyone expected
me to do what he or she wanted me to do. Had anyone ever asked, in all of this,
what it was that
I
wanted? Maybe, just
maybe
, I wouldn’t be so
irritable and pissy about every little thing. That probably wasn’t true, but I
took comfort in my small little piece of denial.

The angelic host had put me up in
a nice little place with all the comforts of home––literally. The room I was in
right now was an exact duplicate of my bedroom on earth. I mean, it was almost
as though they had picked up my apartment and moved it up to the Crystal City for my use. It was identical. Okay,
there were no piles of laundry at the foot of the bed, no stains on the rugs
and furniture from the dirty and sometimes bloody messes that came naturally
with my line of work, but it was the same. I guess it was sort of like being in
a permanent dreamscape state. Everything was familiar, but with a touch of
surrealism that left me feeling a bit out of sorts.

I certainly was not feeling at
home by any stretch of the imagination. I also wasn’t feeling good right now. A
splitting headache is what had called me from my sleep. Headache, thick tongue,
unclear thoughts, heavy limbs with slow movements––all of the things that added
up to a hangover. It had to be a side effect from running all the energy
through my body. Great. I get juiced with energy, with none of the false
euphoria that alcohol briefly instills, and I get a hangover. How fair was
that?

So I did what I might have in a
drunken situation––I decided to walk it off. Chaz was in the next room
sleeping. That kid was a trooper. He had stuck by my side the whole time the
Grigori had tortured and berated me, not saying a word. He even gave me small
looks of commiseration and support. I’m not sure what I did to deserve someone
like him wanting to hang out with me and share in both good times and bad.
Maybe he was my reward for all the misery I had to suffer in this lifetime. He
and Father David were the closest things I had to calling friends.

I slipped out the apartment door,
feeling a little disconcerted that it led straight to a street rather than the
dark hallway of the warehouse where I lived. I would give anything for my bike
right now. Somehow I didn’t expect the angelic hosts would want me polluting
their airspace with the toxic emissions from the tailpipe. So I just started
walking.

The Crystal City
was actually very beautiful in a dark, cold way. It was night time, or at least
what passed for night in this realm. The night was only slightly darker than
the day. The indigo light bathing the city was a constant. I wonder where it
came from? It was sort of everywhere, not seeming to originate in any one
place.

It did make me curious as to
whether the angels’ moods were dictated by the absence of a true night and day.
In the mortal realm they had a term for it––SADD––Seasonal Affected Depression
Disorder. It usually happened to humans during the long dark periods of the
winter months where very little sunshine appeared to give a break from the
darkness. If angels really were beings of light, wouldn’t this constant
depressive hue of indigo have a serious effect on their psyches over several
millennia? Is that what made them into the cold creatures I was being subjected
to now?

It was worth some thought. Which
came first, the chicken or the egg? If the concept of as above, so below
applied to the denizens of the Crystal
City, then were the
angels falling into darkness over the years because humankind was slipping down
that slope? Or was humankind headed in the direction they were because the
angels had slipped into the darkness first? Was humankind nothing more than a
gauge for the temperament of the angels? Or were the angels moving further away
from the light because their world imitated that of the mortals? It was a curious
question. And one I would probably never have an answer to.

Detached from the pain throbbing
an irregular tempo in my skull, I was only peripherally aware of my
surroundings. I’m not sure why the angels even bothered with the illusion of
night and day. They never slept anyway. They didn’t need to. All around me,
everywhere I looked, angels moved through the streets of the Crystal City.
Some flew while others walked. I don’t know why they bothered. If I had wings,
I doubt my feet would ever touch the ground.

Most of the angels I encountered
paid no attention to me. Others looked and glanced away. But there were those
that offered stares, some cold and impassive, offering no clue as to what they
were thinking, while others were openly hostile. I liked those the best. At
least they were honest with how they felt. I could respect that.

But I also didn’t want to deal
with it right now. All I wanted was some alone time. I tracked my way through
the city without any clue as to where I was headed. Maybe at some level I did,
but I certainly wasn’t aware of it and until I was there. By
there
, I
mean that when I finally stopped to think, I found myself face to face with the
Thirteenth Gate.

It really hadn’t been my intention
to come here. Maybe it was because it was the only part of this weird place
that had a sense of familiarity. It could be because it was the beginning and
the end. Or quite possibly, it was the one thing in this entire place I could
link to my life on earth. I didn’t know, and I really didn’t care. I was here,
and in a very odd way, it brought me a sense of comfort. At least there were no
angels around.