Broken Wings: Genesis (21 page)

Wrong again. A movement across
from the Gate caught my eye and I turned to see Ke sitting on a bench, staring
at the Gate. He had been the one Grigori that hadn’t stuck around to watch my
multiple failures during my lessons with Sariel. I’m sure he’d been told about
them. After all, he was the champion of the Grigori and what they wanted. I
could be that, too, or, if I decided, I could take on the position of his and
their nemesis.

I was torn for a moment between
slipping away before he noticed I was even there, and walking up to sit next to
him. His eyes turned my way and the decision was made. I could have still
walked away, but I chose instead to take the empty space on the bench.

We both stared at the Gate for a
while. I’m not sure what was going through his mind, but I know there was
nothing in mine. My thoughts were a cross between jumbled and numb. Nothing
really came to the surface, but there was a bunch of stuff running around in
there. One question leaped into the forefront of my thoughts and wouldn’t go
away.

“Why?”

Ke didn’t look at me, but his tone
was leery. “Why what?”

“Why do the Grigori care about
what happens to humanity? The rest of the angels don’t seem to care.”

“They
do
care.” Ke said
softly. “We all care. It is more that we have a different perspective on the
dangers being faced.”

“So give me a little Grigori
perspective.”

He frowned, working through a
place to begin. “The angelic hosts are bound to the pattern, as are the
Grigori.”

“Well you are part of the host,
aren’t you?”

“Yes, but we have learned to think
beyond the immediate and look to the future. We have learned to take
possibilities into account, and calculate probabilities. We have been taught
fear, and hope, where the rest of the hosts have no such concepts. Hope, as
much of a powerful sounding word for beneficial possibilities, carries with it
the negative connotation of the possibility that what you hope for will not come
to pass.”

I thought about it for a moment.
“But why are the Grigori so different from the rest of the angelic host in
this? I mean what makes them so special that they have figured these things out
and see them where the others don’t?”

“The humans.”

Okay, that surprised me, but I
didn’t know what to say.

Ke shook his head, releasing a
long sigh. “While the angelic host do, on occasion, take human form such as
Gabriel did when he came to see you, for the most part they do not. When you
take on a human host, you need to bond with the host in order for the joining
to work. If you do not, the results can be disastrous.”

“Like what happened to you.”

“Yes.”

“Why did that happen to you? I
thought you guys were experts on the whole taking over human body thing.”

“We were at one time.” He nodded.
“But humans have reached a new age in their evolution, one of science and
doubt––one of disbelief.”

“Ah, I see. It’s not see easy to
fool the lesser beings into letting you come in and take over their every
action any more. Humanity has gained a back bone along with their lack of faith
in the unknown.”

“Yes.” Ke frowned. “I mean, no. It
isn’t like that.”

“Isn’t it? Then what happened with
the host that you tried to take over?”

Ke’s look was sad. “He was a
soldier once, in your wars on the earth. Do you know how your wartime soldiers
are sometimes treated?”

“Our government takes care of
them.”

“Do they? What about the ones that
contract diseases or conditions caused by the very government they were sent to
represent, serve and protect?”

“I don’t get what you mean.”

Ke sighed. “No. You don’t. Let me
just say that in wartime, people will do anything to gain the ground, or to
win. This includes harming the same people who are there to win that war for
them. The host I took on was one that had contracted a condition his government
refused to acknowledge they caused through their desire to win the war.
Normally it is not a fatal one, but in his case it escalated and is now the
cause for his early demise. When I found him, he had nothing, not even hope.
They refused to treat his condition, because to admit he had one was to admit
their part in the wrong doing against him. He was walking the country, seeing
for himself, one last time before he died, what he bought and paid for with his
life.”

“And you decided to take away what
little time he had left, using him just as badly as you claim the government
did?” My voice was harsh with indignant anger for the man.

“Do you know why he became a
soldier, Yeshua?
To make a difference
. All he wanted in your world was
to make a difference. I am giving him that opportunity.”

“But isn’t that what he thought
when he joined up as a soldier, that he would be making a difference, only to
be so casually put aside after he did? Isn’t that what you’re trying to tell
me? What makes your fight so much better than the one the government wanted to
win?”

“Because wars on earth are
primarily about power and greed. Some are actually about the people they are
fighting for, but that is rare in most cases. Let me tell you this. If the
human host had not found my cause worth the fight, there is nothing you could
have done to bind me to him so permanently. It would have been a continuing
struggle, even now.”

“So you’re saying he has come to
see your side of things.”

“Yes. And he willingly let you
bind me to him so I could do what was necessary.”

“Except in the binding, the
situation has now been created to take you down with him.”

“Yes.”

“So how can you be so certain it
wasn’t a kamikaze dive?”

“What do you mean?”

“How do you know that he figured
out he wasn’t going to get out of it alive, so he allowed himself to be bonded
to you in order to take you out with him at the right moment?”

Ke shook his head, frowning. “No.
It isn’t like that.”

“And I know this
how
?”

He finally turned to me, his eyes
dark with intensity. “How badly do you want to know?”

Okay. That made me hesitate. But
it sounded too much like a dare. “I want to know. If he is privy to your
thoughts, then maybe I’ll get some truth from a different perspective.” I
frowned. “But if I bound you to him permanently, how could I speak to him?”

His look softened. “Will you trust
me?”

I hesitated. Of course I didn’t
trust him at this point, but I really did want to know. It might help me in
making the decision that I was facing, if I knew how another human being, one
privy to the thoughts of the angels, was looking at the whole thing. I nodded,
but with reservation.

“Turn to me.” Ke ordered, as he
shifted his position on the bench so we were face to face. He brought his hands
up to cup my face and pulled it close to his.

I jerked back for a second. It was
too much like moving in for a kiss. He raised an amused eyebrow. I took it as a
challenge and let him guide me closer until our foreheads touched.

My eyes stared into his, until
they closed. I did the same. A warm feeling filled my mind, like a soft touch,
a caress. There was only darkness, but in that darkness was warmth.

“He is right, you know.”

The voice was deep inside my head,
almost echoing within the space I found myself in. I jumped, but Ke held me
tight. He must have expected it. I tried to relax into the warmth again.

“Who are you?” The voice didn’t
sound like Ke’s.

“Sergeant Daniel Padgett, ma’am.
First Marine Division, Seventh Regiment.”

“Okay Daniel––so what’s the deal?”

“Ma’am?”

“The angels, Daniel, can you clue
me in? It might help with the decision I’m going to have to make here soon.”

“You can call me Sarge, ma’am. I
think Daniel was lost a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m not. I’ve had my
good days and my bad. But life didn’t really mean a whole lot to me until I
became a soldier.”

“So you would rather have someone
calling the shots, telling you what to do. Is that why you let Ke host in your
body?”

He gave a bitter laugh. “There was
no letting at first. I fought that SOB with everything I had. You saw him. It
wasn’t pretty.”

“Did it hurt?”

“Hurt like hell. I apologize for
my language, ma’am. I reckon some habits die hard.”

“Then why did you let him do that
to you?”

I could hear his mental sigh. “It’s
sort of like he said, ma’am. He told me what he was needing me for, and I felt
his need was a good one.”

“Only sort of?”

“Well, ma’am, it’s like this. I’ve
seen a whole lot of humanity in my lifetime. The conclusion I’ve come to is
that humanity isn’t humane at all. But the reason I became a soldier was not to
make others believe the way
I
do, but to give them the right to believe
in the things important to them.”

“Okay, I’ll buy that. But how do
you feel about what Ke is doing?”

“I think he believes he’s doing
the right thing, ma’am. As near as I can figure, these other angels are more
along the lines of ostriches––sticking their heads in the sand and hoping the
thing they fear the most will go away. But it doesn’t. I mean, look at your
perimeter defenses here in this angel city. They don’t even have the guardians
at the gates any more. You want to know why? Because they can’t think enough
past what they
want
to happen to prepare for what
might
happen,
and probably will. That’s not good planning for the future as far as I’m
concerned.”

“So he’s got you convinced his
cause is a just one?”

His laugh was full of humor this
time. “See, there’s the thing. That’s why I let you bind me to him, ma’am.”

“Was it a kamikaze move, like I
suggested?”

“In a way. But it’s not my play at
being a kamikaze. I wanted to make sure he had something on the line to fight
for, that’s all.”

It took me a moment to realize
what he meant. “Oh––if he isn’t willing to sacrifice himself to make this
happen, then he obviously doesn’t feel as strongly about the right of it as he
should.”

“Yes, ma’am. Everything I’ve seen
and heard about these angels reminds me of some government bigwig calling the
shots and moving their soldiers around the field like some board game, never
realizing that the pieces they’re moving are actual human lives. They never go
down into the field and get dirty, or even to let the realization sink in that
their game pieces are living, breathing human beings. I’m just making a better
commander of him, that’s all. If he believes in his cause so strongly that he’s
willing to risk his life to save a bunch of playing pieces he can’t even call
by name, then he must be telling the truth.”

“And is he, Sarge?”

“Is he willing to go through with
what he feels needs to be done, even if it means dying? Yes, he is. And I’m
pretty damn certain he will if given the chance.”

Okay. That was about as honest an
answer as I’ve gotten. “You do know the Grigori are trying to teach me things
to help undo the binding.”

“Yes, ma’am. And I figure that’s
your call. If this big bad does get out and kill this angel guy, and me, then
from everything I’m hearing, you will be the last line of defense for humanity.
So I’m not going to tell you what to do. I don’t have the right, because I’m
not in your position. But you need to think long and hard, because I think your
options have run out. You don’t have the luxury of signing on to fight this
war. You’ve been drafted. The only choice I see you have left to you is whether
to become a good soldier or a bad one.”

“Yeah, but which choice makes me
which?” I said the last to myself, but Sarge still heard it.

“I don’t know, ma’am. I guess you
can only pay close attention to what’s happening. People are going to die in
this. It’s a war, and that’s real nasty business. You can’t save them all. But
you can do your best and save as many as you can.”

“What would you do, Sarge?”

“Me? I’m just a soldier, ma’am. I
do what’s right and follow orders. I’m not a commander. I’m just glad I’m not
in your place. No matter what you do, people are going to die. You seem like a
nice gal and that’s not going to sit well with you at any level. I just hope
whatever decision you make, it’s the right one.”

“Me, too Sarge. I just wish I knew
what the right decision was in this case.”

“Wish I could be of more help,
ma’am. I believe you’ll make the right choice. I don’t think any of the angel
people are as sure of it, but I am.”

The laughter erupted form me. “So
they’re not sure which way I’m going to jump? Well I’m right up there with
uncertainty.”

“The ones on the side of this guy,
they have a little more faith in you, only because of who you used to be.”

“I’m not that person, or being any
more, Sarge.”

“I think there’s more of her left
than you know.”

“Oh really?”

“This guy’s been tracking you for
thousands of years, betting on just that. I think he –”

It felt as though Sarge’s voice
were yanked out of my brain. There was a flash of pain, and I opened my eyes in
shock. Ke was staring at me, our faces still close together.

“What happened?” I asked through
the disorienting feeling that made me a little dizzy.

His eyes looked downward and
mumbled. “I couldn’t hold the link any longer.”

“Has anyone ever told you that
you’re a terrible liar? He was about to say something to me that you didn’t want
me to hear––what was it?”

Ke pulled back and stood up from
the bench. “Nothing. It isn’t important anyway.” He looked down at me. “Did you
get the information you wanted?”

Obviously not all of it
, I
wanted to shout at him, but didn’t. “Enough for starters.” Is what actually
came out of my mouth.