Broken & Damaged Love (2 page)

“What? I’ve not been working all day too?”

OK, he had her there. But his shift hadn’t been as long as hers, and he’d been sitting down where she’d been rushing around on her feet for twelve hours.

They sat down for some serious gaming, and he was pleasantly surprised to see how good she was. She was actually in danger of beating him. This was something practically unheard of.

Hours passed by and the pair barely noticed. At the end of their tournament Deborah came out as the victor. She pranced around, doing a victory dance, and called Dean a loser.

That really hurt his pride, and he was on the verge of really blowing a fuse.

She noticed just in time and dialled down the bragging, and knelt down in front of him as he remained in his gaming chair.

“Wow, you’re a really bad loser, aren’t you?” she mocked.

“I’m just not used to it,” he huffed.

She knelt in further so she could peck him on his lips.

“Mmmm…but I could get used to it, if that’s my consolation prize,” he smirked.

Deborah wasn’t sure if it was the heady rush of winning or whether it was the influence of all the beer that she’d managed to drink whilst playing, but she suddenly felt like consoling this man-boy in front of her.

She’d never done anything like this before, but she tugged on his jeans zipper, and encouraged him to wriggle so his jeans slipped down.

She was a nurse so was used to seeing men’s penises, but she hadn’t expected his to pop out straight away. He wasn’t wearing any underwear and he was fully erect.

She hungrily licked her lips as she glared at his tip. She lowered her head, and tentatively licked the length of his shaft. She heard his sharp intake of breath as it hissed in between his clenched teeth.

“OK?” she checked, worried she may have done something wrong.

“Oh yeah,” he groaned.

She licked again, making him groan more. She swirled her tongue around his swollen head, before taking it into her mouth and gently sucking.

She held him in her hand as she began sucking his tip in and out of her mouth. Her hand also started moving.

“Stop, stop,” he cried.

She did so immediately, and looked at him quizzically.

“I’m going to come if you keep doing that,” he explained. “Unless you don’t want me inside of you?”

“I want you,” she confessed.

“No, leave it on.” Dean told her as she started to take her uniform off.

She’d not even bothered to get changed.

“Seriously?”

“Please.”

So she merely removed her tights and thong. Dean did unbutton the top of her uniform though so he could glimpse her breasts, which were small and white.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her down to straddle him. He guided his aching cock straight inside her, making her moan.

She hadn’t realised just quite how much she’d wanted this until now. It felt so right having him there.

With his help, she rode him, making the gaming chair rock with them. She came almost instantly, making Dean lose all self-restraint, as he truly filled her.

He held her body close, wanting to feel her warmth as he climbed back down. Weirdly, he didn’t want her to leave as soon as he finished.

Deborah went to take a shower, and pinched his bathrobe when she was done. She’d left her bag with her change of clothes in in his car. She’d chucked it on the backseat as she’d got in and forgotten to pick it up. She explained this to Dean as a means of apology for wearing his stuff.

It went way outside his normal comfort zone, but he was OK with this. It was quite nice to see her wearing his robe. He did chuck on some clothes so he could go and fetch her bag though, just so she could get changed when she was ready.

It was cold and dark outside so he made the trip as quickly as he could. By the time he got back she’d found one of his DVDs and had put it in the player.

He settled down next to her, and they drank yet more beer and ate more crisps as they watched.  It was really late by the time the film finished.

“Do…do you want to stay the night?” Dean asked hesitantly.

Deborah nodded shyly that she would. Well, she’d already had sex, despite having promised herself she wouldn’t yet.

Her ex had run out on her as soon as she’d given him what he wanted. And the impression she’d first got from Dean had suggested he was just the same. But she wasn’t sure now.

Maybe she’d judged him unfairly? They were both naked as they got into bed, but they were too drunk and exhausted to do anything about it. They both fell asleep almost as soon as their heads hit the pillows.

Dean woke up first the next morning, and stared in wonder at the gorgeous woman in his bed. This was a definite first. But it was a good one. A ray of light was peeking through the curtains, and was shining on her hair, fanned out like a flame against his crisp white cotton pillow.

He was rewarded further when she opened her eyes, and they glimmered like emeralds at him. She blinked several times before she slowly realised where she was. She smiled as she saw him gazing at her.

“Good morning,” he greeted.

“Morning,” she said sleepily, rolling onto her back.

“Would you do something for me?”

“It depends on what it is.”

“Shave.”

“Shave?”

“Or wax. Brazilians are all the rage. Or you could get a Hollywood, that’d be really sexy.”

Always up for a challenge Deborah agreed. She figured it would be easier being hairless anyway. It somehow seemed more hygienic.

She wriggled as he sidled up to her and kissed her firmly on her mouth. Her lips gave way, allowing his tongue to slip inside.

One of his hands wandered down her body, stroking deeply as he pushed it down to her nether regions, where he let his fingers slide up and down her moist slit.

Her body zinged with electricity as she deepened the kiss. Their mouths meshed making her melt into him more. Her legs fell open, and it was the matter of a moment for Dean to place his body there.

“I need you,” he gasped.

Seeing her nod he launched himself inside her. The relief of being there flooded his system with a joy he’d never known.

She felt it too, and her hips started moving to meet his. She gripped onto his behind to draw him in more. She needed more. She needed him.

He pumped into her furiously. Her back arched and her teeth clenched as her orgasm ripped through her with a ferocity she didn’t know she had. It exploded through her whole being like dynamite. Her muscles constricted around him so tightly it made him climax too.

“Well, that was quick,” he chuckled, slightly embarrassed.

But that was them; straight to the point, no nonsense kind of people. It was perfect.

Dean couldn’t get enough of this wonderful woman. They met up as often as their work lives would allow.

Dean stopped going out with his mates, much to their disgust. They ridiculed him for being under the thumb, but he didn’t care.

He just wanted to be with Deborah.  She made him feel alive. She was meant for him. If his friends couldn’t see that then he pitied them for not having this much happiness in their lives.

Alarmingly, Dean proposed just shy of their two month anniversary. He never thought he’d get married; not ever. But Deborah had exploded into his life and turned all that on its head. He couldn’t live without her.

They were married by the time the six month rabbit sex season was up. It was the most impetuous thing either of them had ever done. Both were analytical types that liked to carefully consider decisions, but this was out of their control. Their souls cried out to each other and they merely had to obey.

Gary just about managed to be best man, even though he couldn’t fully support one of the group getting married. But he did have to admit how happy Dean seemed, so he went along with it.

Deborah’s friends were all more than happy for her, and livened up the wedding reception, especially when the DJ started up. They danced boisterously, and pulled any man they could get their hands on.

The few mates of Dean’s that did turn up were happy to oblige. It practically turned into an orgy, but the happy couple barely noticed. They only had eyes for each other.

Dean couldn’t wait to get Deborah up to their hotel room and tear the wedding dress away from her limbs.

They left the party early, but nobody noticed. He ravaged her that night like a thing possessed. She was his, and he wanted, no needed to claim her with his body. 

Their orgasms that night were like a long drink of water to someone dying of thirst in the desert.

The dress lay in tatters on the floor where Dean had left it, having gotten impatient with the buttons he’d resorted to ripping the flimsy fabric so he could get to his prize.

Their teeth had clashed together, and their bodies had collided in an assault of passion that threatened to overwhelm them both.

They both woke up brimming with happiness in the morning, filled with a sense of pride at having done it, of having taken the plunge and got married. It felt like they’d really achieved something.

But they’d achieved more than they bargained for. They’d been so caught up in their honeymoon and the ensuing happy weeks that it took a while for Deborah to notice she was overdue. She took a test as soon as she realised. It confirmed her suspicions; she was pregnant.

Dean wasn’t exactly thrilled when Deborah told him the news.

“What? You’re pregnant? You stupid cow, how could you let this happen?” were his exact words.

Like the tide before a tsunami, all the blood drained away from his face, leaving him white with shock. Then in a rush it flooded back in a shade of beetroot red as his rage overtook him.

“Me? Why’s this all my fault? Last time I checked it took two to make a baby.”

“Yeah, but you told me you were on the pill. You lying bitch!”

“How dare you? I am on the pill. I told you to use protection too, but you refused. Dino is too great to wear a condom. It lessens the feeling. Remember? I can’t help it if I had a tummy upset. It must’ve affected the pill.”

“Just what the fuck are we going to do? We’ll need to move for a start.”

“Do you think I’ve not thought about that too?” Deborah let her voice fall. “I know this is really bad timing. My career’s just starting, but now I’m going to have to take time out. But we were going to have a family eventually, weren’t we?”

Dean wasn’t so sure about that. He’d barely got his head around getting married. And now he was going to be a father.

This was all happening much too quickly. He felt dizzy. He sat down before he fell down, and bent his head, raking his hands through his hair.

“This is so fucked up,” he breathed out. His hands came forward and washed over his face.

“I’m sorry, Dean.” Deborah looked so forlorn that all his anger got swept away.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m just shocked.” he said, pulling her towards him for a hug.

“Aren’t you even a little bit pleased?”

“Yeah, I guess. We just have a lot to think about.”

Deborah hadn’t expected Dean to be pleased. She wasn’t exactly over the moon herself. She was worried about what being a mum would do to her career. She’d worked hard to get where she was, and now she was going to have to take maternity leave.

She’d seen other women do the same, and few made it back full-time; the job was just too demanding.

She was angry at herself for not having been more careful, and for not insisting Dean used protection. She was fully aware that illness can affect the pill’s efficacy, but she’d just not thought about it at the time.

She felt stupid and scared, and Dean didn’t look like he was going to be of much comfort. She braced herself for having to rely on herself.

Fortunately Dean hadn’t pissed away all his money, and once he sold his flat he had enough for a deposit on a house. Deborah insisted they buy a house that was in a nice area, which meant stretching his budget.

It meant going from comfortably well off to struggling a bit. He knew it would really stretch him when the baby was born. Babies were expensive things. It’s why he’d not really been planning on having a family any time soon, if ever. What a mess.

Deborah was really happy with her house, and got Dean to start redecorating as soon as they moved in. They painted the nursery lemon, with Beatrix Potter pictures and accessories.

She invited her friends round to see, and they all made the appropriate approval noises. They all thought she was very lucky, she’d really landed on her feet. A few of them were really quite envious.

The months wore on, and Deborah got ‘fat’. Dean stopped having sex with her as he was “afraid the fucking would hurt the baby”. There was no amount of telling him otherwise that would change his mind.

He hadn’t welcomed the news, but he was already feeling protective. He wanted to be a good dad. He wouldn’t run out on his responsibilities like his own father had done. No, if he was having to do this he’d do it right.

Deborah’s mood swings increased as her pregnancy progressed. Dean didn’t know how to cope any more.

He withdrew more and more, trying to keep his head low so his wife wouldn’t bite it off. It didn’t seem to matter what he did, it was never good enough.

He started staying late at work when she went on maternity leave, just to avoid being at home. Besides, the overtime pay was going to come in handy.

Deborah wanted the best of everything, and didn’t seem to grasp the concept of budgets. She’d been spoiled as a child, and simply didn’t understand why her baby should go without. Yep, this was going to be expensive. Dean’s stomach tied itself in knots every time he thought about it.

Deborah felt increasingly isolated as her friends started drifting away. It was as if this baby was creating a rift between them. Becoming a mum made her different from them. Her friends saw she wouldn’t be able to go out with them anymore and started to lose interest in her. As she found herself on her own more and more her desperation also grew. What was she going to do?

It was early afternoon when he got the phone call. “Dean, you need to get home right now. The baby’s coming, and I’m not doing this on my own.”

“Of course, I’ll be home soon. Just stay right there.”

He hung up immediately, so didn’t hear her say, “Where the hell else do you think I’m going?” It was probably just as well, as he may have been tempted not to go to her aid.

He excused himself from work with his boss and dashed home. Deborah was waiting with her bag in hand.

“About bloody time,” she huffed as she waddled to the car.

He knew it was wrong, but when a contraction made her double over and wince, he was sort of pleased she was in pain. ‘Serves her right,’ he thought, ‘the bloody cow never gives me a break.’

“Oww, Jesus. Dean, mind the bumps,” she barked as they drove over a pothole.

He swore under his breath and carried on driving. He really hoped she’d calm the fuck down once this baby was born.

Dean dutifully stayed with his wife for all twelve hours of labour. It was horrendous. He never knew a human could be in so much pain and still live.

He’d attended a few antenatal classes, and tried to guide Deborah through, but firstly she ignored most of what he said, and secondly he just felt nauseous.

His wife was covered in sweat, screaming out in agony, and then he made the mistake of looking as the baby’s head was crowning.

Holy fuck, he was never touching that area again. How was she doing that? It was so unnatural, he thought.

The midwife saw how pale he looked and pointed him towards a chair and water.

“Lot of bloody good you are,” Deborah admonished. “I’m the one in friggin’ pain here, but just put your feet up why don’t….yooooouuuhhhh.” She was fortunately cut off by another contraction. 

Finally the ordeal was over, and a shrivelled pink baby was placed in Deborah’s arms. Her face lit up as she cooed over her baby girl.

Dean wandered over and reached his finger out to his brand new daughter, and she grabbed on to it. His heart melted in a huge puddle. That was it. That was the moment he became a daddy. He fell head over heels in love with his little girl as she gurgled and wriggled in her mummy’s arms.

“Hello beautiful,” he smiled at her.

His heart was bursting with love so much that it spilled out of his eyes.

Deborah noticed the tears, but didn’t say anything as her own were threatening to overwhelm her. Dean leaned over and kissed his wife.

“I am so in awe of you, you did it. You gave birth to our beautiful baby girl. ”

At that Deborah broke down in sobs so much Dean had to take the baby out of her arms. He laid her down in the cot, and perched on the side of the bed so he could hug his wife.

“Hey, what’s the tears for?”

“I don’t know. I just love you,” she said between sobs. “I’m so happy!”

Dean drove home with a huge sigh of relief. There was a sign his wife was finally happy, and when she came home with their baby he had high hopes that his life was going to be much better now.

He went straight to bed when he got in. He only managed three hours of sleep before he had to get up and go to work.

He then drove straight back to the hospital to collect his family.

But as soon as she walked in through the front door Deborah started moaning how he hadn’t put up banners and balloons to welcome the baby home.

Dean tried explaining he hadn’t had time, but she wouldn’t listen to reason.

“You clearly don’t care your daughter’s just been born. Otherwise you would have made the place look nice for her.” She was close to tears again.

“Why don’t you go and sit down? I’ll put Tina in her cot and make you a nice cup of tea, eh?”

“No, she’s not going anywhere. She’s asleep in her carrycot, I’ll keep her here with me. But you can make me a tea.”

Dean sloped off, his bubble burst. Well, it was too much to hope for, really. She’d never been like this before she got pregnant.  What had he done?

Baby Tina started crying, so she was back in her mum’s arms by the time he returned with the tea. And of course, then that was wrong. He should have brought down her changing things instead. Deborah called him useless as he wandered upstairs to fetch the required items.

Dean felt dreadful. He was awake half the night helping with the night feeds, despite Deborah insisting on breast feeding. It made him a bit of a third wheel but she managed to wake him up every time so ‘he could help’.

He went to work, feeling beyond tired. He found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on his job. But then he went home to a wife who informed him of all the things he’d not done. ‘I’m in hell,’ he thought to himself, dismally, ‘I’ve actually died and have been sent to hell!’

Things didn’t improve much for a while. Deborah eventually found a pattern, and Tina started sleeping through the night longer, which helped. But Dean still thought he was going to collapse from the pressure that was still placed on his shoulders.

Deborah insisted on throwing an elaborate first birthday for Tina. Dean tried to point out she wouldn’t know, but it fell on deaf ears. She had new mummy friends from the baby and toddler group to impress.

But through it all Tina kept him going. He couldn’t believe he had a hand in creating something so beautiful. And despite having a bitch for a mother she managed to be a very happy baby.

She clearly loved her daddy, and would giggle when he played with her. It was yet another thing that aggravated Deborah; she thought Tina loved him more than her.

Their marriage was at breaking point, but he tried to keep it together for the sake of his little girl. She was growing so quickly, and he didn’t want to miss a thing. For her sake he tried to ignore his wife’s rebukes.

As you can imagine, their love life was non-existent. Where once there’d been a hotbed of sex, there was now a cold bed of ice. Deborah was always tired, as was Dean, and she always seemed disappointed in him, so he stopped asking for sex at all.

Things started to improve once Tina was toddling. Deborah had refused to go back to work. She decided the cost of childcare would outweigh her wages, and she wanted to be with her baby anyway.

She had cheered up a little once she’d got her way on that. And they even managed to get away for a family holiday that summer.

They went down to Cornwall, and enjoyed some sun and sand. Tina was adorable in her little swimsuit and sunhat as she played in the sand and was dangled in the sea. Deborah relaxed and they actually had a good time. It was a very welcome respite from all the stress.

All too soon his little girl started school. Deborah still wanted to stay at home so she could do the school run, as Tina was only at school part time to start with.

Then when she started full time Deborah decided it would be too awkward with nurses’ hours to do the school run still, so remained a housewife.

If she was completely honest, Deborah knew she’d been away too long and would have to start at the bottom and put in extra effort to earn respect back. She just couldn’t face going through all of that again.

However, all this changed when Tina was about six years old. She’d been such a happy little girl. She was shy around others, but happy in her solitude. But her family was about to be given one more challenge.

Dean drove home in a daze. What the hell was he going to tell his family? He was being made redundant. The dot com bubble had burst and there was a free-for-all to get the precious few remaining jobs. He gulped, took deep breaths and plucked up the courage to tell his wife.

“Oh that’s just great. What did you say to them?” she grumbled.

“What is there to say? There’s no arguing. They are making me redundant. End of.”

“So that’s it? You’re just going to give up?”

“What would you have me do?”

“I don’t know. You’re the genius. Come up with something.”

“I’ve already started to look for other jobs.”

By the time they finished arguing Dean felt even worse. He actually thought about ending his life. He seemed to be such a failure and disappointment to Deborah, maybe she’d be better off without him? But Tina wandered in and a spark lit up his heart’s flame again, and he knew he had to find a way to carry on.

He tried. He tried so hard to get another job, but his last day at work came and went and he’d not had so much as an interview.