Broken (Broken #1) (40 page)

She looks out of the window and
shifts in her seat. I want to shake her, scream at her, make her
tell me what I want to know. “My daughter is only a year older than
Nathan as you know. She was playing out by the old barn,” the barn
that is no more than charred wood I’m assuming. “When she saw some
things that… well let’s just say it took quite a bit of therapy to
help her get past it.”

“
What
things?”

“
I’m not
telling you to fuel your curiosity, I’m telling you because
whatever secrets Nathan has, he likes to keep them that way. The
entire family is one huge riddle and trust me when I say, they’re a
riddle you don’t want to solve. Nathan and Caleb are and were good
men, he’ll look after you. That’s all you need to know. Other than
that… don’t get involved.” Her stern tone is quiet, only loud
enough for me to hear. What is she talking about? I need to know.
“Don’t try to dig anything up, and keep out of Nathan’s
way.”

“
I don’t
understand.”

She rubs her tired eyes and
shifts again, her discomfort obvious, “You don’t need to. Just
don’t get attached.”

“
Why?” Not
that I’m planning on it, for obvious reasons. “He won’t hurt me.”
Why am I arguing this point? I don’t want to get attached in the
way she’s assuming anyway.

She chuckles sadly, her eyes
still gazing out of the window. “That’s not what I’m worried about
sweetie. I’m worried you’ll hurt him.”

My breath leaves me. Jeanine
stands, thanks me for the coffee and exits the café with her head
bowed. I mull over her words again and again until I no longer
remember the exact conversation. Only her parting words stick in my
mind.

How could I hurt him? Nathan
is… he seems impenetrable. He’s his own fortress, nothing seems to
affect him. I’d never hurt him intentionally, I’ve been clear about
my feelings from the start. I think.

Although he is insistent that
we’ll be more than friends.

Maybe he’s just toying with me,
testing my loyalty to his brother. Do I even have any loyalty to
Caleb anymore? It sure doesn’t feel like it. I’ve betrayed him
numerous times since he died.

Chapter
Twenty

It’s been three hours and I’ve
heard nothing from Nathan. I decided twenty minutes ago that I
wasn’t staying away any longer. Now I’m sat in the car outside of
Nathan’s house, twisting my hands on the steering wheel whilst
staring at the front door through the windshield.

The front door opens and Nathan
stands there, he motions for me to come in. I climb out of the car
and walk towards him, noticing two bags on the floor behind
him.

“
What’s
this?” I enquire, my brows furrowed and my worries heightened. Is
he kicking me out?

“
We’re going
to the city,” he responds. “Check your bag, make sure I’ve packed
everything.”

I do as I’m told, hiding my
annoyance that yet again he went through my things. “Everything is
here. Why are we going to the city?”

“
You’ll see,”
gah, a surprise. I hate surprises.

Well, actually I love them, I’m
just impatient for them. “No clues?”

“
I need…” He
makes a squelching noise with his mouth. “I need your help with
something.”

“
As long as
it doesn’t involve belly dancing or sky diving I guess I can do my
best,” he helps me into the car, his eyes distant. His mind clearly
troubled with things unknown. Not even a smirk? “Tough
crowd.”

“
Sorry,” he
mumbles and closes the passenger side door.

“
Let’s play a
game,” I suggest after he’s seated.

He looks at me with a quirked
brow, I slap his arm. “Fine, fine. What game?”

“
Well, it’s
not really a game,” I twist my fingers on my lap and look out of
the window to the passing countryside.

“
Then what is
it?”

“
I ask a
question, you ask a question.”

I don’t need to look at him to
know he’s frowning, “That doesn’t sound like fun.”

“
What’s your
favourite colour?”

He chuckles, “Fair enough. It’s
dark blue. Yours?”

“
That counts
as your question. Mine’s dark pink.” I sort through my compiled
questions. “What’s the happiest memory you have?”

He blanches, his eyes widen
before the shutters come down. “Pass.”

“
You can’t
pass.”

“
I
can.”

Oh… the reason dawns on me. OH.
It’s a sexual one then. Okay. Moving on. “What’s the saddest memory
you have?”

“
Pass.”

“
You suck,” I
grunt and move onto another question. “You have to answer this
one.”

He smirks, his eyes lit with
humour, “I do, do I?”

“
Yes,” nod.
“Have you ever been in love?”

His smile fades in an instant,
“You’re terrible. You know that right?”

“
Yep.”

“
Fine, yes
I’ve been in love.”

Score. “With who?”

His brows hit his hair, which
isn’t difficult considering the length of it at the moment. The
bottom brushes the base of his neck. I like it, it suits him. “It’s
my question now.” Oh, right. “What’s the happiest memory you
have?”

The cheek! “You can’t expect me
to answer that!” So not fair.

“
I
can.”

Growl. “Meeting Caleb, best day
of my life.”

His face is blank, I can’t see
what he’s feeling and I’m not sure why I want to. “So not when he
proposed?”

Hmm… “No, that’s number two on
my list of favourite memories.” I turn my body towards him. “My
turn. Who have you been in love with?”

“
It was a
while ago,” he says with a shrug. “I didn’t know her
name.”

How’s that even possible?

“
I used to
see her walking a lot, around town. I never did pluck up the
courage to talk to her,” his eyes glaze over for a moment, I wonder
if he’s still in love with the memory of this girl. “It’s stupid, I
should have done. I’ve regretted it ever since.”

“
Why?” I know
it’s not my turn but I need to know more.

His tongue dampens his lower
lip. “Because I could have had what you and Caleb had. I missed out
on that.”

“
You’re still
young, you could have that.”

His lips twitch, “Possibly. My
turn, I get two questions.”

“
Go for it,”
I spur him on whilst staring at his profile.

“
Okay,” his
gloved fingers run through his longish locks. “Tell me about your
parents.”

Hmm, where to begin. “I have no
clue who my dad is. My mum says he knows I exist, saw me once and
never came back.” He’s about to apologize, I cut him off because
it’s really not a big deal. “My mum, she loves me in her own way
and she’s always supported me with everything but this and the
engagement. She wanted me to have the life she didn’t.”

“
That I can
relate to.”

“
Hmm,” I bet
he can. Poor Nathan. “I was always an inconvenience more than
anything. She was never mean and I was always well dressed and
never hungry, it was more duty than love though.” We share a
moment’s silence, I’m wondering if he can relate to this too.
“Caleb said his parents were great to him as he grew up, but his
dad expected things of him that he didn’t want.”

“
Yes, he was
the apple of their eyes.”

Dare I tread? “Why weren’t they
like that with you?” Yep, clearly I dare.

“
Honestly?”
He blows out a breath, his left arm flicking the indicator down. “I
have no idea.”

“
You’re not a
failure Nathan,” I tell him but I can see he doesn’t believe me. I
don’t expect him to. He’s been treated badly all of his life by the
sounds of it, why would he believe my word over something that’s
been drilled into him for god knows how long?

“
Was Caleb
your first?”

My mind is still spinning with
thoughts when he asks this so I don’t click on immediately. When I
do I choke on air. “That’s a personal question.”

“
It’s the
question I’m choosing.”

“
Your
questions are not nice questions.” I shrug a little. Whatever, I’m
not ashamed. “Yes he was my first.” And I wish he could be my last,
but I’m not stupid enough to make that promise. Time goes by and as
much as the thought of sleeping with someone else repulses me,
it’ll probably happen eventually.

Pulling myself from my thoughts
I look at Nathan, mainly because his leather gloves are squeaking
on the rubber wheel. He does this when he’s frustrated. Why’s he
frustrated? “Your question.”

“
Okay, how
old were you when you lost your virginity?” My smile is cocky, two
can play at this game.

“
Young, I
don’t remember,” oh he’s lying.

“
You’re a
terrible liar too.”

“
I don’t want
to play this game anymore.”

“
Boring.”

“
Bored,” he
retorts and raises his chin defiantly. “Let’s just listen to the
radio.”

He’s so secretive, it drives me
crazy. Maybe that’s because I grew up with just me and my mum, it
has made me eager to see how much greener the grass is on the other
side. Or the opposite.

It doesn’t take long to get to
the city even though we stop for lunch on the way. When we arrive
we pull up outside an empty looking store on a busy street. Nathan
helps me out of the car and pulls a ring of keys from his inner
jacket pocket.

He first opens the shutters via
a key hole in a small grey box beside the shutters. They slowly
ascend, revealing two wide windows with a door in the middle. Next
we step inside and I’m relieved to see it’s not dusty. Dust bugs
the hell out of me.

From what I can see there are
glass cases on top of dark wooden settings spread out around the
room. Glass encased shelves line the walls. Even the counter is one
long display box.

“
What do you
think?” He asks, worrying his lip between his teeth. “Think this is
a good place to start?”

I nod slowly, observing the
room, “I think it’s great. A little dull though.”

“
Agreed, we
need to set it apart from the rest.” We? “It opens in a few months
hopefully, I’m just waiting on stock and staff and I need to expand
my jewellery selection and find a supplier.”

“
You’ll do
great, Nathan,” I say honestly because I know he will. “Your
jewellery is amazing.”

His cheeks pink slightly and
for the second time since I’ve met him I get to see a sweet
vulnerability -- that doesn’t seem to exist in a man like Nathan --
shine through. “I’m nervous.”

“
You’re
human,” I place my hand on his shoulder as he leans forward on the
counter display case. “You’ll be fine, and if you’re not, you’ll
still have me as your number one fan.”

He looks at me, a handsome
smile on his face. “You’re a lovely person, Guinevere.”

“
So are you,
Nathan.”

“
You bring
that out in me,” his lips purse slightly. I can see he’s battling
with himself on whether or not to say anything. “A few months ago I
wanted to do this to destroy my dad’s business. A revenge mission
so to speak. Because of my family name I know this will get
attention, the son of a well-known business man branching out on
his own. I wanted to bring him to his knees, make him regret the
day he called me a failure.” I listen intently, wondering where
he’s going with this. “And now…” he pauses and looks at me, his
hands come up and cup my neck. “Now I just want to succeed to prove
that I’m worth it.”

“
You are
worth it,” I stop myself from rolling my eyes. “You’re worth
everything.” I’m not sure if this makes sense but I know what I’m
talking about.

“
No,” he
steps closer. “I mean… with you.”

“
You’re worth
a lot to me.”

“
Not as much
as my brother,” he grits through his teeth.

My hand comes up and grips his
wrist, I stare him in the eye. “The same, you’re worth the same to
me as he was. It’s just a different kind of worth.”

“
Don’t,” he
sighs and presses his forehead against mine. “Don’t give me
hope.”

Gulp. “Hope for what?”

“
Hope that
maybe one day you’ll look at me the way you looked at
him.”

My heart skips a beat, “How’d
you know the way I looked at him?”

His phone rings, disturbing our
intimate moment. I want to smash it but instead I step away to give
him some privacy. He looks at me apologetically and puts his phone
to his ear.

“
I’ll wait in
the car,” I have words to erase from my mind.

“
We’ll talk
later.”

Or never. Never is good
too.

Nathan doesn’t take me back to
the hotel, he takes me for a long walk around Piccadilly Circus. He
even takes a few pictures when I request them and a few when I
don’t. It’s great, I love the city. I wish I could spend more time
here before the baby arrives. I don’t think pushing a pram around
here is such a good idea.

I even manage to get a few
pictures of him which is great because I don’t have any. Even
though he doesn’t smile I still appreciate them.

I don’t want this to end, what
we have now. Maybe it’s selfish of me. No maybe about it. It is
selfish of me. Nathan’s right, I’ll never look at him the way I
looked at Caleb, I’ll never love him the way I loved Caleb. But
I’ve come to love him in my own way. He’s my best friend, possibly
my only friend right now.