Broken (Broken #1) (18 page)

He lets out a choked laugh but
covers it up with a cough. “If you recall, I gave you bacon this
morning but you found the toilet to be greater company than I.”

“
For future
reference.” I look at his profile, he should smile more often. He
doesn’t have any of those little crinkles around his eyes that tell
you you’re in the presence of a happy person. Something about this
makes my chest ache. Caleb had the lines, he was always smiling.
How can his brother seem so different? “And me too, I think it’ll
be good if we at least try to tolerate each other,” I say and hold
out my hand. “Shake on it?” He stares at my hand like it’s a
foreign object. “Oh, right, the no touching of the hands thing.
Sorry, I forgot.”

He falls silent for a moment, I
see the cogs working in his head as if he’s making a decision. He
pulls out onto the street and finally talks, “I don’t like
germs.”

“
Come
again?”

“
I have an
issue with germs.” He adds when he sees the look of shock on my
face, “It’s a real condition.”

I nod slowly, “Yeah, I’ve heard
of it.”

“
Good. Don’t
bring it up, it only aggravates me. Just ignore it.”

I nod, appreciating his honesty
and wanting to respect his request. “I won’t mention it.”

He seems to let out a breath
but I can’t be sure as I only saw his chest deflate slower than
before with no sound to accompany it.

We fall silent once more. This
time it’s comfortable.

******

It’s dinner time, I’m starving.
After searching the fridge and cupboards I decide on spaghetti. I
make a mean spaghetti Bolognese according to friends and it’s been
forever since I cooked. Genuinely, I want to go up to my room and
bury my head but I need to start taking better care of myself. I’ve
lost six pounds putting me one pound under my recommended weight
for my height and size. Which in reality means I’m about four
pounds underweight because the baby obviously weighs something.

This scares me. Caleb would
never let me go more than a few hours without food. He’s done
nothing but force me into the kitchen throughout my entire
pregnancy. I know if he could cook he would’ve but after a while of
trying and failing on so many different dishes, he just started
putting me in there and helping in every way he could.

Caleb… just… I…

Sigh.

Nathan went upstairs as soon as
we arrived home three hours ago and hasn’t been back since. Maybe
he’s hungry. I should make some for him too.

Oooh, I’ll even be able to make
some homemade garlic bread. Brilliant.

I tug the apron on, groaning
with frustration when it only just reaches around me enough so I
can tie the very ends of the strings together, and set about making
dinner. I’m one of those people who cleans as I go along so even
though what I’m doing is quite messy there isn’t a huge mess left
when I’m done.

It smells delicious as it
simmers in the pot and even more delicious when the bread begins to
rise in the oven. With a glass of juice in my hand I sit on the
counter at the corner and stir the simmering Bolognese. My mouth is
watering, I’m so hungry.

Once it’s served I set the
table and contemplate on whether I should shout for Nathan or go
upstairs and knock for him. I don’t want to piss him off by
invading his space so I shout for him first. Unfortunately I get no
response so I shout again.

I make my way up the stairs and
shout once more. He’s either being extremely ignorant or he’s not
here.

I’ll just knock on his study
door.

“
Nathan?” I
call and knock on the door. “Nathan? Hello?” My hand clasps the
handle, I’m about to push the door open when I change my mind. He
could be sleeping at his desk or listening to music in his ears and
I don’t want to disturb him, or anger him by invading his space.
This is his house, he asked me not to do certain things so I’ll
respect that.

I wrap up his plate in foil
before placing it in the oven, and pack the leftovers away before
putting them in the fridge. I’m mostly doing this just in case
Nathan comes down. It’s like I’m delaying so I can eat in his
company.

Sitting down at last, I bite
into my food and moan. That is so good. I don’t remember when food
stopped tasting like ash in my mouth but I’m grateful I have this
one joy back in my life. It’s like a tiny bit of colour poking
through all of the grey that is my consciousness.

I’m so glad I chose to be a
chef.

It’s lonely here. Too
lonely.

I decide to call Sasha but she
doesn’t answer. I text her telling her I miss her and to keep me
updated on everything. She doesn’t text back, I’m guessing she’s
busy so it doesn’t upset me too much. Sasha would never purposely
ignore me.

At least I have all of my
things now. The first thing I do is place a photo of me and Caleb
at the beach on my nightstand and then I get to work on the
rest.

The best part and the worse
part about falling asleep tonight, is falling asleep seeing my
fiancées face.

The worst part being that when
I wake up, his face is still just a picture.

It’s been two whole days and
the only person I’ve spoken to is Sasha. She’s fine, worried about
me and my sudden decision to up and leave but she understands.
Jeanine has been busy and has said hello and goodbye but that has
been the extent of our conversations.

I’m going stir crazy, Nathan is
here but he’s keeping out of my way completely. When I wake up
breakfast is ready for me, he skips lunch but has eaten every
dinner I’ve made and left in the oven. Though I don’t know how he’s
avoided me so well. Are there hidden tunnels in this house?

I’m losing it.

I need to get out but the rain
and the wind are relentless and I have no car. There’s never
anything on the TV, I don’t have a computer and my phone won’t
connect to the Wi-Fi so I can’t do much on that.

I feel like camping out in the
kitchen and waiting for Nathan to collect his dinner but that would
be weird and boring. Also, what would I say to him? “Oh, umm, let’s
talk?” We have nothing in common, what would we talk about?

Why’s he ignoring me
though?

My boredom has reached new
levels. I’m currently sat on the cold wood floor in my bedroom
doing a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle. The problem is, I can’t reach
the top end of it because my belly won’t let me bend that far
forward. I have to bum shuffle around it on the ground like a
dog.

When the doorbell rings I
almost cry with relief even though I know it isn’t for me. I feel
like a puppy when its owners come home. In my mind I’m screaming,
‘PEOPLE,’ all the while wagging my tail.

I’m a freak, it’s simple.

I need conversation, I need
distraction. If I don’t have it, my mind wanders and I can’t
control the direction in which it wanders. Caleb is becoming a more
prominent thought in my mind and each day seems to be getting
slower and harder. I genuinely thought I was finally in a good
place. Not because I’m happy or even content but because I have the
strength to keep myself out of bed throughout the day.

Pulling open the door I look at
the red haired, plump woman holding up a huge tray of what looks to
be lasagne. “I’m a friend of Jeanine’s, she told me there was
someone knew in town.” She glances at my belly. “Someone new and
pregnant. I couldn’t help but be nosy.”

“
Hi,” I say
with a nod.

“
Oops, I
forget my manners sometimes, my names Paula. I live three houses
down from here with my two dogs and my husband Michael.” She
reaches out to shake my hand. “I brought you lasagne.”

I’m about to take it from her
when I feel him right at my back, “Hello Paula.”

“
Hello,
Weston,” she greets him coolly. I’m wondering what’s going on with
her calling him by his last name, I don’t ask. “I was just greeting
your new lodger here and offering her some of my famous
lasagne.”

“
How kind,”
he says but he sounds far from sincere. “Allow me to take
that.”

She passes him the dish, “So, I
was thinking that I’ve not seen you out and about.”

“
Mrs Harris
is always out and about,” he says close to my ear, his warm breath
making the strands at the side tickle the back of the shell and I
feel my lips twitch. Mostly at his words but also at the ticklish
feeling.

She scowls at him but her eyes
soften when they come to me, “I wondered if maybe you’d join me
tomorrow at noon. We could go for lunch, I’ll take you on a tour
around town. I’ve heard you’ve only seen the inside of the doctor’s
office and Darla’s Elegance.” The clothing store I assume she
means. I didn’t pay attention to the name, I knew it wasn’t a cheap
place though.

That would be better than
finishing the puzzle I have no interest in. I nudge Nathan with my
elbow, he sighs dramatically, “If you want to go then go. You can
take my car.”

“
That’s okay,
I can pick her up.” Even better.

“
She’ll not
be getting in a car that resembles a lunch box with wheels, it’s
not good for the baby,” he says, his voice holding not only an air
of authority but and underlining tone that I recognise to be
possessive. What’s that about?

He’s also being rude, “Thank
you Mrs Harris, I’d love to come. If it’s all the same I’ll take
his car, just in case I feel the need to leave before you do. I
tire easily.”

She smiles widely and nods
eagerly, “Just Paula dear. Such good manners for such a young
woman. I’ll leave you both to your afternoon.”

“
Have a nice
day,” Nathan’s farewell is as snide as his hello was.

“
Don’t worry
about the dish dear, bring it back when you’re done,” she calls
over her shoulder.

I don’t get to wave as Nathan
has closed the door.

Lasagne.

I follow him into the kitchen
and watch as goes to tip the contents of the dish into the bin.
“NO!” I scream like my life depends on it and grab the plate. “My
lasagne.”

He blinks in shock, “You’re not
eating this. You don’t know what she’s put in it, what meat she’s
used.”

“
So?” I
retort and tug on the dish.

“
Fine!” he
snaps and let’s go. Unfortunately due to the extra hundred pounds
in my stomach I fall backwards.

Quick hands snag my wrists to
stop my descent, but in doing so the lasagne dish tips and smashes
against his front.

“
Oops,” I say
and slowly step back assessing the damage. “I am so, so
sorry.”

He stares down at the mess on
his chest and abdomen. The red juice clings to him as the small
clumps of minced meat slide to the floor with the pasta sheets. He
looks pale. Extremely pale.

“
Are you
okay?” I ask and take a step towards him. His hands are
trembling.

He shakes his head.
“Germs.”

Oh right, the germ thing.

“
Nathan,” I
say softly. “What do you want me to do?”

“
Nothing,” he
takes a step and dry heaves, his entire body bending over with it.
Holy shit. “I can feel it on my skin.”

“
Okay, okay,
just stand there,” I grab a cloth from the cupboard under the sink
and soak it with warm water from the tap.

I see sweat
bead on his brow as he stands perfectly still waiting for me to
help him, his eyes are lowered and his lips pinched together. Shit.
This
is
a real
condition. I should have Googled it but I don’t have anything to
Google it on. Maybe he has books on it that I can study. It seems
like something I need to learn about if I’m going to be staying
under the same roof as him.

“
I’m going to
take these off,” I say cautiously and start undoing the buttons on
his jacket. He doesn’t move an inch as I slide it from his
shoulders and place it on the side. “You know?” I try to make him
feel better as I slowly and carefully untuck his shirt from his
trousers. “I have a horrible phobia of rats. It doesn’t seem much
compared to this but it’s a deep one. It comes from when I was
little,” I slowly start unbuttoning his shirt from the top,
revealing a light spray of dark hair over his sternum. “My mum took
me on holiday to my grandpa’s dairy farm and we all got to camp
outside for the night. It was brilliant at first.” I slowly undo
the last two buttons and step behind him so I can peel it from his
body without getting the sauce anywhere else. “While I was sleeping
I felt something running across my legs.”

“
What
happened?” Finally he speaks. Relief.

“
Wait there,”
I say and walk over to the sink and warm the cloth once more, all
the while still talking. “Well, I woke up obviously but I couldn’t
see anything. It was dark and I was on my own. My mum was in the
tent next to mine with her boyfriend, at the time.” Swiping the wet
cloth across his front I take my time, I’m not sure why I do it so
slowly, maybe because it’s close. I’m close to somebody. And his
torso is delectable, it’s golden and smooth and powerful. Every dip
and groove is muscled perfection. He shudders as I sweep it over
his pebbled nipples so I move away from that area. “All I could see
were these two red eyes in the dark moving around my tent. I
screamed and screamed. Eventually my mom came, her boyfriend killed
the rat and she made me stay in my tent. I was petrified, I was
five and I didn’t know what a rat was.” I look at his clean chest
and go to pull my hand away.

In a quick move his gloved hand
presses it back to his abdomen, his fingers clasping my wrist
rather than my hand itself, “Don’t stop.” His eyes come to mine. “I
can still feel it.”