Broken (20 page)

I felt the warmness of my smile when I thought of him. In my mind, I was completely engulfed in the need to see him. It had been seconds before I realized the car had stopped. I was once almost jealous over Noel, long before he had gone so far away. “So how are things in Merekville?” Sierra asked. I smiled at our doorman. He was new. The old one retired. He'd been with the building ever since I was born. Even before that. The new one had kind eyes, like Noel. I had to catch myself. I really had to get him off my mind. Merek hadn't even been out of the city for 24 hours.

I had a full week without one thought of him. Then today my brain was on Noel overload.

“Hello! Anybody up there?” Sierra said. I hoped she could tell how annoyed I was. “You spend too much time thinking.”

“We can't all be geniuses like you,” I laughed.

“You are so mistaken.”

“Yes, Ms. Fordham,” I said. She turned away from me.

I proceeded out of the elevator. When we got into the house, I pranced right past the welcome table. I didn't know if Cara would go through my stuff if I left it in the front. So I stopped using that area. I took all of my belongings to my room. I shuddered a little at
the thought of having to do that. I'd have to live with it. I couldn't take any chances with Crazy.

As soon as we got into my room, Sierra shut the door and locked it. I walked over to my window seat, dropped my books on the desk, and sat down Indian style. Sierra hurried over to me and did the same. “Dimitri's in my class at Fordham. I feel awful that I didn't tell you.”

“I'm not keeping tabs on him.”

“We studied together last night,” she said.

“Ewu? Where?”

“The coffee house on 9th, two blocks from school.”

“Sierra, you don't have to be nice to him.”

“I wasn't at first, but he was nice to me.” She smiled.

“Next thing you're going to tell me you fell in love with his swagger.”

“No. We studied together. We didn't get married!”

“Sorry,” I said.

“Odd. You're starting to sound like Frenchy.”

“Okay!”

“At first, he started saying, ‘Hey.'”

“Hey? He doesn't even say hey,” I said.

“Yeah, like ‘Hey, what up?' So I gave him a dry ‘hey' back.”

“Dry?”

“Then he asked me for notes from the last class one time. I told him I would give them to him once, but he should hold onto to his own notes. I mean, he is in college. Why would he ask me, a high-schooler, for notes?”

“Why?”

“I just said it. Anywayz, three weeks went by and he didn't speak at all. Then last night he asked me if I could help him with last week's homework. He'd gotten a C- on it.”

“What did you get?”

“You have to ask?” Sierra pulled the assignment out of her bag. “A.”

“Genius, I tell you,” I said.

“We studied and then he drove me home.” I didn't want to say anything. The word “date” did cross my mind. But his semi-human girlfriend crossed it right after.

“Be careful.”

“Of what!”

“Cara,” I said.

“As if! It's not like I want to date Dimitri.”

“He's the love-them-and-leave-them type.”

“He is?” Sierra looked away for a moment. I, too, found myself called to another thought. Merek had told me he was going to pick a school near New York to be closer to me. Noel was only two hours away and I never saw him. Why did Merek love me more than Noel did? It was then my mind let out something I had totally blacked out. The tattoo Noel got.

“Don't be quiet on the Merek front. I live for these stories until I have a real hottie of my own.”

“It's not exciting. We studied at the library all week. Then he brought me dessert after dinner last night so we could play checkers together. I am still working on figuring out why he likes checkers so much. Never played that game so much in my life!”

“Oh! I haven't played a board game in forever.”

“Ouija board doesn't count?” I asked.

“Stop.” She laughed.

“Merek's nice. What else could I say?”

“Nothing from the other guy?”

“Nothing. I have a good boyfriend now. I don't know what was wrong with me.” It was the tattoo that was plaguing me. My name was on his back and he still forgot about me.

“Love. I would've done the same thing.”

“There are too many four-letter words that can get you into trouble, like love.”

“You never want to talk about him. Tell me about when he was home with you.”

“I don't remember much about it.”

“As if!” she said.

“I do, but I'm trying to not to. This is not right. I can't love him and be with Merek. I've made up my mind. I'm choosing Merek.”

“He's close to perfect, Merek. But the way you make love sound when you talk about the other guy, I want to feel like that one day.”

“When I used to spend time with him, I knew I was supposed to be with him. Now, I don't know. Now, when I'm with Merek, I feel different. I have to choose,” I said.

“You can't know everything. That's why you need a psychic. I went to a psychic and I still don't know what school I'm going to get into.”

“When?”

“With my cousin, Veronica.” Now I didn't want to hear the story.

“I'll tell you what she said if you tell me about him.”

“Noel?”

“Duh!”

I contemplated for a moment. I didn't really want to hear the story. Sierra's obsession with Veronica was interesting. Cool that she looked up to her but the emulation—this, I did not get. She wanted to be like her so bad, it was like she was her shadow. Then this whole psychic thing was kind of eerie, yet intriguing all in one. A bit much before dinner. But she had never so blatantly asked about Noel.

“Come on. You never, ever tell me anything about him.” This was partially true. Your best had to know the history on the guy you loved, right? It was like a written law on the magic scroll of best friend rules or something. In honor of that, tell I would.

“Oh, we were kind of geeks, so prepare to be unimpressed.”

“Really.” Her eyes were laced with disbelief.

“One day, before my mom had died, a few weeks after we had first kissed when we realized we liked each other, I met him on 80th and Lex. He used to carry one of those messenger bags.”

“Is he tall?” she asked.

“A few inches taller than me.”

“I love tall boys!”

“Don't think I'm weird—after school, sometimes, we used to stuff meters with quarters.”

“Why?”

“I remember one day my mom had gotten a ticket when Noel and I were with her. I don't even know why … she was driving. Oh, she had taken us to this dessert place in Brooklyn that Noel's mom used to take him to. It was the place where his parents met. Halfway up the block, my mom looked at her watch. ‘We might cut it close. Two or three minutes,' she said. When we got to the car, she went ballistic. She was like, ‘I've never gotten a ticket! I have two more minutes on my meter! We are not late.' She was fuming. That ticket totally ruined her day. After that, I asked Edna to get me quarters, lots of quarters. Every week, Noel and I would do the same thing on Wednesdays and Thursdays. We would walk about and put quarters in any meters that were almost expired.”

“I hope he's hot. That's a little weird, M.” We laughed.

“It was so weird because that day after we put quarters in the meters for blocks, the meter ticket guy came up to us. He said what we were doing was a crime. Noel told him to shut up and stop lying. Then he said, ‘You wouldn't want us to ask her parents'
lawyer about this.' I looked at his name tag and called his name out. ‘Burns?' Like that. Then Burns told us you can only put money in your meter or your family's meter, but not the entire block. Noel laughed and said, ‘Don't worry, we've done more than one block. We've done five so far.' Noel grabbed my hand and we walked away. We laughed for like two blocks. I remember reaching for my sunglasses. I had these violet aviators I loved. Noel was wearing geeky black Ray-Bans, like the Blues Brothers, before they were even in. Then we made a stop. It was Noel's favorite place to dislike. He called it the Ubiquitous Commercial Coffee Spot.”

“Are you talking about what I think you're talking about because you know that's my favorite coffee.”

“Me too. I've been drinking it since I was like 10,” I said.

“Got you beat. Had my first sip of frap at seven.”

I just shook my head. “At the coffee house, I go inside to order and Noel stands outside. I noticed a group of girls staring out the window behind me while I was in line. Of course, I turned around. Then I look back at them. I go place my order. I used to …” I paused for a moment. I was so caught up in the story that I almost told on myself. I used to sign and speak then. That's why I avoided that location at all costs now. Even if I have a coffee headache, I walk to the one on 86th. No one knows me there.

“What?”

“I used to drink caramel lattes then. That day, I tried something new for some reason. It wasn't that good. Waiting for my drink, I peeked at those girls. There were like four of them. They were talking about these magazines. Every once in a while, they would glance over at the door. One of them was like, ‘She's here, up the block.' I turned
my back and put a sleeve on my drink. When I headed to the door, I noticed a girl talking to Noel.”

“What? She didn't!” Sierra said. We both laughed. Sierra was the best. “What did the girl look like?” she asked.

“She was pretty, long brown hair, small, almond-shaped eyes … she had on a uniform.”

“Did she go to school around here?”

“Yeah. Noel's school, Tate.” I left out the part that I used to go there too before I transferred.

“Ugh!” she said.

“When I came out, Noel held the door for me. I can still feel how my heart raced. He introduced her. ‘This is Jennifer.' I said hi to her. Then I asked him if he wanted to taste my chocolate coconut coffee. He shook his head no. ‘I see you guys together a lot after school around here. I'm usually with my crew,' she said. I said something like, ‘Yeah.' Then she was like, ‘Yeah, that's them inside.' Then he asked her if she liked that overpriced, tasteless place. ‘It's the sweetest,' she said. ‘I second that,' I said. ‘If I were to order, I would get green tea. It has healing properties,' Noel said. The girl and I laughed. Then she waved at the other girls. ‘You guys heading inside?' she asked us. Noel said, ‘No, I find corporations that exploit third world countries for cheap labor and coffee bean resources vulgar.' She was shocked. Then she said something like, ‘That kills the mocha drip cravings.' Then Noel turned around and asked her if she went to school around there. I didn't know why he wanted to know. ‘We go to the same school,' she said. She smiled at him. Then he looked at me. What could I do but smile?”

“You think she liked him?” she asked.

“Kind of. She left. She went to hang out with her crew.” I left out the part about the girl asking Noel if I was deaf because I signed and spoke to her. I also left out the part about my showing her how to sign her name.

“I would've been jealous.” I shook my head. If she only knew what I saw in Connecticut.

“I was jealous. I was silly.” I felt a sharp pain in my chest. I knew it wasn't just about the girl. When she asked about me, she was sympathetic. And she didn't ask me—she asked Noel like I couldn't understand what she was saying.

“Want some snacks?” she asked.

“Yes, sir!”

“That's ridiculous,” she said.

“You never heard that before.”

“No.”

“Ugh! Tough audience.” I just headed to the kitchen. Sierra followed.

“Okay, M, get this. The psychic arrives at Veronica's apartment in the circle.”

“I forgot she's over there.” Right across the Park—to die for.

“She said I could live with her if I stay in New York for college,” she said.

“Would you? Where would Frenchy stay?” I asked.

Sierra shrugged. “We're not supposed to go to the same school. Except the psychic knew I had a twin sister. She said we will go to the same college. ‘You will not think so, but at the last minute things will change.'”

“Did she say why?”

“No. I asked. She said I will find out in the Spring.”

“What did she look like?”

“Like Mary, this associate at my mom's office. She was well dressed, mid-thirties, dark hair, bob, piercing aqua-blue eyes, and a soft-toned voice.”

I tried to picture this lady. “She wasn't hokey?” I asked.

“No. She was cool. She said I won't get the prom date I want but a better guy will surface in a few years.”

“Who?”

“She didn't give any specifics. She said I fall in love easily. Like my friend. She described you as very tall, very pretty.”

“Did she say more about me?”

“Only that we were good friends.”

I was so entranced, I'd forgotten to get out the food. “Pause. We need to eat,” I said. I walked over to the refrigerator.

“On it.” Sierra went in the cabinet for the vegan cookies. My favorite. Edna had a slight milk allergy. It took me a while to figure out why all our snacks were vegan. I think Mama had an allergy too. None for me so far.

“I got the ice pops and cashew cookies-and-cream ice cream,” I said. I was a pop girl. Sierra was an ice cream girl. Sierra grabbed her favorite bowl. It was the only one in the set that had a chip.

It was months before I realized she always picked that silly chipped bowl. Sierra took a seat at the island and dug in. I stuffed my mouth with an ice pop. “The psychic said you were knowing. I forgot. It was weird.”