Brie Masters Love in Submission: Submissive in Love (11 page)

T
hey arrived at the Nosaka home just as the sun was setting. Before Brie exited the car, Sir handed her the white envelope, which he’d wrapped in black-and-white ribbon.

“What is this, Sir?”

“It’s our
koden
, our condolence money. It’s tradition at a wake. A tricky business, too, because giving too much signifies a closer relationship than you have with the deceased, but giving too little is seen as an insult.”

“How did you know how much to give, Sir?”

He gave her a playful wink. “I googled it.”

They stood behind a group of Tono’s family members as they waited for the door to be answered. No one acknowledged them, making Brie extremely grateful when Tono was the one who opened the door. He greeted each person individually before inviting them inside. His calm demeanor and gentle voice belied the fact that his heart was breaking.

Tono’s smile was genuine when he saw Brie, but he addressed his greeting to Sir. “Thank you both for joining me tonight.”

“We owe you no less, Ren. It’s a privilege to be included among your close relatives.”

Tono led them to the room that held his father. The body had been packed in dry ice, and a white cloth covered his face. People were already seated on the floor, facing the body. Sir directed Brie to sit at the back, but Tono asked them to join him at the front. Brie knew it must be an unusual request, and was not surprised to hear a protest from his mother.

Tono answered his mother by pointing to Sir and stating simply, “
Ani
” and then gesturing to Brie and saying, “
Imouto
”. His mother grunted under her breath, but nodded and put her hands together, bowing to them from where she sat.

“I told her you are like a brother and sister to me,” Tono explained.

Brie smiled, and returned his mother’s bow before sitting down beside Tono. Being so close to him, she was able to sync her breath to his, and the peace of that connection floated between them.

A Buddhist priest began chanting, and the smell of burning incense filled the room. Many of those in attendance were fingering prayer beads as he spoke. Eventually, the priest gave a signal and the family members closest to the body began to get up, one at a time, offering incense at an altar beside his father’s body. When Tono’s turn came, he stood up and nodded to Brie, indicating that he wanted her to do the same. Brie watched carefully as he knelt beside the altar, took a pinch of incense and brought it to his forehead before sprinkling it into the flaming bowl. He did this three times and bowed again before sitting back down beside her.

Brie got up and went to the altar, terrified of doing something wrong and offending his extended family in some way. She swallowed down that fear as she knelt gracefully and stared at the picture of Master Nosaka on the altar. While she remembered vividly how cold and hurtful those eyes could be, in this picture he was smiling slightly and his eyes shone with pride.

She took a pinch of the incense and sent a silent message to the man.
Thank you for raising Tono to be such an honorable person
. She sprinkled the incense into the flame and took another pinch.
Thank you for teaching him your skill of Kinbaku.
She let the incense burn and took a final pinch.
And thank you for finding me worthy of your son
. Tears pricked her eyes as she sprinkled the incense into the fire and watched it smoke. She stared at the still body beside her and said with silent conviction,
Although we cannot be together, I promise I will do everything in my power to support your son now and in the future.

As she bowed one last time, Brie whispered, “Thank you for sharing your talent of singing, too. It is a charming side of you both I never suspected.”

When she returned to Tono’s side, Sir got up. She watched as he paid his respects. This quiet, reverent ceremony was beautiful in its simplicity. It allowed those who had known the deceased to reflect on memories of him in the safety and warmth of the place he’d called home.

When everyone had offered incense, the priest finished with more chanting. The ceremony ended once he was done, and most of the people in the room left at that time. Brie watched as Tono handed each person a small box before they walked out the door.

She whispered to Sir, “What’s he doing?”

“He is giving a thank you gift to them.”

An older woman touched Sir’s sleeve and gestured that they should follow her. Sir guided Brie down the hallway and into a dining room with a low-lying table laden with food.

Just like in the States, food played a central part when people passed away. Those already seated at the table spoke in quiet tones as they waited for Tono to arrive. Brie discreetly took hold of Sir’s hand under the table and squeezed it.

As soon as Tono entered, the level of conversation became livelier. Plates were passed out and people used chopsticks to help themselves to the feast. Brie looked dubiously at the food, realizing that most of what was on the table was seafood—something Brie could not stomach. How could she possibly navigate the meal without offending anyone?

Tono noticed her hesitation and offered several suggestions about what she would find appetizing. He winked, telling her, “As long as you do not put it on your plate, you are not expected to eat it.”

She took a rice ball and a little of each food he’d suggested, and settled back to eat it, grateful for Sir’s insistence that she practice her chopstick skills at the hotel. It allowed her to observe those at the table now without worrying about embarrassing herself.

Brie found it easy to pick out Master Nosaka’s siblings. They all had similar features and the same stoic expression. Despite their serious demeanor, the discussions were animated and several times the entire table broke out in laughter. She desperately wished she knew Japanese so she could savor the stories they were sharing.

She glanced in Mrs. Nosaka’s direction. The woman had a cross look on her face, but Brie noticed she was staring off into the distance, as if lost in old memories. If she would have welcomed it, Brie would have given her a hug.

Instead, Brie turned to Tono and asked, “How are you doing tonight?”

He gave a tired sigh. “Still in shock, unable to accept that he’s really gone.”

He looked thoroughly exhausted and emotionally beaten. “You should get some rest after the meal,” she suggested.

Tono snorted, sounding insulted when he replied, “No, tonight we stay up and watch over my father.”

Sir replied smoothly, “Of course, Nosaka. Brie was just expressing her concern for you.”

Tono nodded in understanding and explained to her, “This is my last night with my father. I gladly give up rest.”

After dinner, they went back into the room with his father. One woman was already there, standing beside the body, talking softly. The three of them sat down quietly, so as not to disturb her, with Brie and Sir sitting on either side of Tono.

The sound of the woman’s voice was light, as if she was recalling happy memories, but near the end her voice became raw and anguished. Brie couldn’t bear her pain and looked down as a tear fell into her lap. She glanced sideways at Tono.

He sat with a rigid back, his eyes focused on his father. Multiple people came to talk with Master Nosaka throughout the night, as if he were still alive, and Brie found it touching. However, Tono never moved; his gaze never wavered.

As dawn approached, the price of his vigilance made itself known when he tried to shake off the exhaustion. Brie got up and whispered to Sir, asking permission before she slipped her hand into Tono’s, willing her energy to flow from her into him.

Tono closed his eyes, not outwardly acknowledging the contact, but he held on to her hand tightly. They remained that way until hours later, when his mother beckoned to him to speak with her outside the room.

His movements were stiff as he got up to leave. Tono returned a short time later with a small box in his hand. “Thank you for your company, Sir Davis, Miss Bennett. Please return to your hotel room and rest if you can. We’ll meet again at noon. There are things I must take care of before the funeral.” He handed Sir a card with directions and gave Brie the gift.

“Can I help in any way?” Sir asked.

“No. This is my honor and duty. Please rest.” He bowed to them before leaving the room.

Brie was surprised when they arrived hours later and saw the funeral home swarmed by journalists. “Poor Tono! Why can’t they leave his family alone?”

Sir said with a frustrated sigh, “It’s unfortunate, but the intrusion must be endured.” He opened the car door and held out his hand. “Come, Brie.” They ignored the cameras and flurry of questions in English, as they sought to find Tono inside.

To Brie’s relief, they found him with his father, whose body had been placed in a casket. She was surprised to see young children in the room. The smell of incense filled the air as the priest spoke and people paid their final respects, leaving flowers in the casket.

Afterwards, the casket was sealed and rolled away with silent reverence. “What’s going on, Sir?” Brie whispered as people began filing out of the room.

“They’re going to cremate Master Nosaka’s body while we wait.”

She glanced behind her, shuddering at the thought. It seemed so…final.

Tono joined them, smiling curtly at Brie. Was she the only one who saw the agony behind those chocolate-brown eyes?

“It’s a shame the funeral was publicized,” Sir told him.

“Yes, it has my mother in an unpleasant state. I reminded her that last night was undisturbed, but it seems to be of little comfort to her now.”

The room he led them to was expansive, with plenty of seating and large amounts of food set out for the mourners, but eating was the last thing on Brie’s mind. She thought she spotted Chikako across the room and asked Tono, “Is that your partner from the studio?”

“Yes,” he answered. “Many people my father worked with are here to pay their respects today. They were like family to
Otosama
, so I invited them to attend the funeral despite my mother’s objections. Funerals are meant for the living, not the dead.”

“And who are the children?” Brie asked, as a tiny girl with pigtails walked past.

“Part of my father’s side of the family.”

“You have adorable relatives,” Brie complimented, waving to the little girl, who giggled and waved back.

“Please partake of the food while I defuse the confrontation about to take place,” Tono growled under his breath, heading towards his mother.

Brie wasn’t interested in eating, so she watched the other people in the room, wondering what their stories were and what role they had played in Tono’s life. One thing that struck her was the respect they all showed to Tono. It was gratifying to see.

After he’d neutralized the situation, Tono disappeared from the room.

“Brie, go after him,” Sir commanded. “He’s almost at his breaking point.”

She hurried out to the hallway and followed it down until she found Tono leaning against a wall, his eyes closed—the pain he suffered rolling off him in tangible waves.

“Tono,” she whispered as she approached.

He opened his eyes, shaking his head. “I’m not strong enough for this.”

“Then you can lean on me today,” she offered.

He laughed miserably. “Today I can handle. It’s the countless days ahead I can’t face.”

Brie felt certain that once he was far from his mother, he would regain his peace. “How much longer do you plan on staying, Tono?”

“You don’t understand, do you? As the only child, it is my duty to care for my mother.”

“But you can’t,” Brie protested. “It will crush your spirit to remain here with her.”

He closed his eyes again. “The moment I realized that my father was dying, I knew what lay ahead for me. This is
not
the life I wanted, but it is the one I must live out.”

Tono smiled down at her sadly. “The only consolation I have is that by not collaring you, I did not make this your fate as well.”

“Oh, Tono…”

He said with certainty, “It’s better this way. I understand that now.”

“But I don’t want this for you!” Brie cried.