Breathe (7 page)

“You'll look after your sister, won't you, Matteo?”

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she felt a longing so strong it caught in her chest. The morning her mother had gone away, she'd looked at Alex and had spoken those very words. Only Alex and Anna hadn't realized she wasn't coming back. And when they did understand, Alex had kept his promise. He'd looked after her, for as long as she'd let him.

She leaned down and kissed both children on their heads, their hair warm from the sunshine. She'd never leave her children. Never.

“I'll leave the screen open, and I'll just be inside. You call me if you need me, okay?”

“Okay, Mama.”

By the time she'd reached the screen door again, Matteo had a large plastic ball out and was rolling it on the grass to Aurelia, who laughed and tried to kick it with her foot. She lost her balance and toppled onto her bottom, pushed herself up with chubby hands again and made another wobbly go at it.

They would be fine. She wanted to get started. Wouldn't it be sweet to go to Jace tonight and tell him of her plans? He would know she was down but not out. Looking forward.

She took a notepad from the pack and a measuring tape from her pocket. As she went through each room, she measured and took notes. Once it was cleaned it would be a gorgeous chalet. The kitchen was well built, and should be stocked with a full complement of cookware and dinnerware. It was a rich agricultural area, and she thought that could be played up both in the décor and in their angle. Her mind whirring, she flipped a page and started listing questions and possibilities for different types of stays and amenities provided. Her sister-in-law, Melissa, was brilliant at this sort of thing, coming from a background in the hospitality industry. She'd run it past her too.

Upstairs she discovered two large bedrooms, each with their own complete bath. One bedroom had French doors leading to a small balcony overlooking the valley, and she caught her breath at the view.

She looked down over the slope of vines, breathing in the warm air as the sight of the neat rows filled her with a sense of calm. It was beautiful, green, gorgeous, well tended. Of course, with Jace it would be. He never settled for second best. Unlike herself…

She set her lips. There was no sense thinking of that now. She couldn't change the past.

She went back inside and shut the doors, instead taking notes on renovations to the bathroom—a jetted tub would be a nice addition—and her ideas for furniture. Something sturdy, but not heavy like the current log-inspired bed. Rustic, but timeless. Satin sheets the color of Two Willows's Syrah on the bed. A fire crackling in the corner. A table with a pair of crystal glasses to the side.

She swallowed. It was so very wrong to picture herself here. With Jace. Yet here she was daydreaming, as if he hadn't already broken her heart once. She'd be foolish to let herself get sentimental over him. Maybe this had been a big mistake. She should have known seeing him like this would resurrect old longings and regrets. She should have gone somewhere else. Anywhere.

She closed her eyes against the pain that swept through her. The only thing was, she didn't want to go anywhere else. She wanted Jace. It wasn't rational and they had too much history for it not to be complicated, but deep down in her gut, she kept coming back to him. Despite the evidence, despite what she knew to be true, she also knew in her heart that Jace would provide the haven she needed right now. There was no one else she'd trust besides her brother. And Alex's words had been so cutting after Stefano's funeral that she couldn't ask him for anything.

It was just her terrible luck that she'd never quite forgotten how things had been with Jace. It was clear he was over it.

A piercing wail broke her musings and her heart jumped. Louder, more shrill and with a fine edge of panic, the screams increased and Anna ran for the stairs. Oh God. She shouldn't have left them alone in the yard while she stood here daydreaming. What had she done?

She nearly slipped on the bottom stair and grasped the railing to keep upright, only to see Jace coming through the screen door, a flailing Aurelia in his arms and a sobbing Matteo at his heels. She stopped in her tracks, completely frozen with the shock of the scene. Jace was in control yet looking quite harassed as the baby flailed and screamed.

“What happened?” She fired the question at him in Italian.

“A bee.” The muscles in his arm bulged as he kept a firm grip on Aurelia, using the other one to wet a cloth he found in a drawer. He pressed the cold cloth against the baby's arm. Anna rushed forward to examine the spot. It was red and swelling.

“I got the stinger out.”

Anna took Aurelia into her arms, but the baby didn't seem to care who was holding her. Her cries continued.

“I should have been with her.” She felt the weight of it heavy upon her. Why was it she seemed to fail at everything these days?

“It probably would have happened anyway. Don't be too hard on yourself.”

Anna looked down at Aurelia's arm. It was beginning to swell. Jace looked too. “Does she have allergies?”

Anna's gaze darted to him in alarm. “I have no idea. Should we have her checked?”

Ever so calmly, Jace examined the tiny arm. “I don't think so. The only swelling is at the site. Of course a pharmacist would know better.”

Matteo's voice sounded particularly small, devoid of the bravado he'd been demonstrating of late.

“I'm sorry, Mama. The bee came and she slapped at it.”

“It's not your fault, Matteo.”

Two fat tears sat on the boy's cheeks. Jace sighed. “I can run to the pharmacy if you like.”

Anna looked up at him over the whimpers of the child in her arms. His talk of allergic reactions struck more fear in her than she was prepared for. She didn't know what she'd do here alone if anything happened. And she hated feeling dependent on him. Why couldn't things just be simple for a while?

“We could…come with you.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw as he took the cloth and re-wet it. He folded it carefully and placed it over the spot once more.

“We'll have to take your car, then.”

She stared at him stupidly. “We will?”

“The Porsche won't handle baby seats.”

She blushed. Of course. Nothing stated bachelorhood any stronger than a two-seater rocket with three hundred and fifty-five horsepower. There was a time long ago that such an obvious display of hubris wouldn't have bothered her. Now it just accentuated how different their lives had become. How changed their priorities were.

“Never mind. You must have things to do. You didn't invite me here to be more trouble. I can drive us in.”

“Anna, you're in no shape to do that. Besides, you'll have one eye on Aurelia all the time and you can't drive safely that way.”

She laughed a little, the sound dry. “You're worried about safety when you drive that?” She gestured towards the parking pad with her chin.

“I'm not driving children around, am I?”

Her bubble deflated.

“Let me take you.”

“Fine.” She swept past him, carrying the diaper bag.

The drive to town was quiet except for Aurelia's whimpers. Anna was relatively sure now that the baby was fine, but the spot was still puffy and red. The pharmacist gave them some cream and an antihistamine to counteract the sting.

The drive home was different.

In the moments when Aurelia had been wailing, they'd worked as a team. Now that it was over Anna could step back and evaluate what had happened. She realized a few things. The first being that Jace had simply reacted and treated Aurelia most efficiently. He'd scooped her up, taken out the stinger and had put a cold cloth on it to soothe. He'd done what she should have and that burned.

But he'd done more than that. Seeing him holding her daughter in his strong arm had done something to her. It had broken something she'd thought healed a long time ago. It made her wish. It made her wish that her children were his and not Stefano's, and she resented him for it. He'd had his opportunity and he'd turned away from her and their chance at happiness. He'd dutifully taken up the position of friend, and she'd accepted it rather than settling for nothing at all. But seeing him with her daughter on his arm pierced her heart in a way she hadn't thought possible.

“Maybe it would be better if I took the children and went to Alex's.” She murmured it but Jace got the message.

“Because of today? Bee stings happen.”

She couldn't tell him the real reason why, because she never wanted him to know how deeply her feelings ran.

“Why were you at the guesthouse in the first place?” he asked, looking at her briefly, then turning his attention back to the winding road.

It was as good an opening as any. It was the only thing she could think of at the moment to balance things out. A way to escape the feeling that he was taking over, or that she was starting to rely on him. She didn't want to rely on anyone. She merely wanted a place for some peace so she could figure out what she was going to do next. Perhaps now was the time to draw that line in the sand.

“I had an idea this morning. That guesthouse is sitting empty, which is a shame. Look at what you've got here. A gorgeous, secluded winery on the river, minutes from the Shuswap. This is a tourist trap in the summer. Why not fix up the guesthouse and rent it out? Either by the night or week. And you could do wine tours. I picked up a local events paper today and a few other wineries in the area have them.”

“And who do you suppose would run it?”

“That's what you hire people for.”

“People like you?”

She paused. What an interesting thought. A fleeting vision of herself playing hostess while Jace ran the vineyard and the children played on the grass…but no, it was pure fantasy. This was temporary, not a permanent relocation. “Of course not. I have a job with Morelli. But I can help you get it ready, get you set up. It's what I do best.”

“Go on.”

“I have Morelli contacts and a good eye, and you know it.” She hesitated, took a breath, and delivered what she figured would be most important to him. “It would be an extra source of income for the winery while you're still growing your production numbers.”

Jace considered Anna's proposal. It was an interesting idea and not a new one. He'd thought of it already, but with taking over the winery and trying to maximize the grapes he already had, there'd been no time to explore it. He already knew he needed to get the store operational again, to sell his wines on-site. He wanted to do tours and promote Two Willows wines right on the premises. If the guesthouse could make money, he could pay one person to do both.

“How would your father feel about you using Morelli contacts to help me? I'm the competition.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, it was like he could hear Roberto's response in his head. Two Willows? Competition? Hah. Roberto Morelli would never consider Jace his equal, and he knew it. So did Anna.

Anna looked away and out the window as she answered. “He doesn't need to know.”

Silence reigned for a few minutes.

“How long?” He surprised himself by asking it, by even considering it. It meant Anna here, within reach but completely out of reach, for an extended period of time. It meant the children underfoot too.

“Not long. It would depend on shipping times for furniture and fabrics, but the house is already lovely. It just needs…some Morelli refinement.”

The sound of a gentle baby's snore came from the back and he couldn't help it, he smiled at her just a little. Didn't Anna know he couldn't refuse her anything? He blustered and carried on, but when she looked at him like she was now—soft and expectant—he was done for. He always had been.

He pulled into the drive at Two Willows and stopped, parking next to the Porsche. A quick glance in the back told him both children were asleep, worn out from their day. He held out his hand to Anna. “Then you have a deal, Ms. Morelli.”

In the moment, he'd forgotten she wasn't Ms. Morelli anymore, but she didn't correct him. Instead she placed her hand in his, the grip firm but the skin soft as silk. “Deal.”

Before he could change his mind, he leaned over and pressed his mouth to hers. Her soft lips opened beneath his, surprising him. She tasted like strawberry gloss, and memory slammed into him.

What had he done?

Her lips parted from his but she remained just a breath away. When he opened his eyes he saw her lashes still lay on the crests of her cheekbones.

His angel. She always had been and he'd just been careless.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered.

Her eyes opened, but they weren't dreamy like he'd expected. Like he was feeling. They were dark and condemning.

“Me too,” she replied, and leaned away to get out of the car.

Chapter Five

Aurelia was put down for a nap between the pillows again and Matteo watched a DVD while munching on the goldfish crackers he'd picked out at the store. Jace had disappeared to the bottling shed once more after they'd arrived back at Two Willows and Anna took her frustration out on her
polpettone
.

She added ingredients to the meat, took off her rings, and kneaded it all together in the bowl with her hands, the muscles in her slim forearms cording with each push and roll. When she'd come here, her only thought had been a desperate need to escape from the pitying looks and her father's endless edicts. Anna had considered that her history with Jace might create a problem, but she'd told herself she would keep it firmly in the past as she moved forward. She hadn't considered those feelings would rise up again with such force. All the things she'd wanted back then were still in her heart. And seeing Jace with her baby in his arms brought it all crashing forward. Then he'd gone and kissed her.