Blind Reality (30 page)

“Joshua, you’re an accountant. During the day, you’ll be working while Joey maintains the house.” He pauses and looks at me. “How am I supposed to go to work?”

I shrug, still focusing on yet another fat suit that I have to wear.

“Multiple times a day, you’ll be faced with challenges. Remember, at any time you feel you can’t compete, press the red button outside and your challenge will be over.”

Joshua puts the paper down and picks up the baby doll. It moves, scaring the shit out of him. “This is the most messed up shit ever.”

“If it poops, not it.” I childishly put my index finger on the tip of my nose and stick my tongue out at him.

There’s a buzzer that sounds in the distance and Linda follows telling us that our challenge begins now. I pull out the fat suit and stare at it. It feels like silicon, but with large boobs and a bulging belly. I slide his shirt off and undo my bra. I know he’s staring, but I don’t care. I shimmy into the suit and immediately hate it even though it fits perfectly to my body. Josh chuckles and holds the baby up in front of him, shielding himself so I can’t hit him.

“I hate you.”

“I know, but you’re so sexy.” He steps over and gives me a kiss, causing my heart to skip. He picks up my bra and helps me put it on before handing me his shirt.

“I hope they have more clothes for me because anything I own isn’t going to fit.”

“I probably have to buy you clothes with my fake accounting job. Don’t they know I pay someone to manage my money?”

“I don’t think they care,” I say as the baby doll giggles and starts peeing down his arm.

His eyes go wide. “Did she just pee?”

I nod, covering my mouth. “I suppose we ought to put a diaper on her.”

“Do you know how to do that?”

“Yes, I babysat when I was a teenager.” I take the doll from him and place her on the loveseat, getting a diaper on her, plus some clothes. It’s only seconds later that she lets out a wail. This isn’t going to be fun and games.

“Shit, what do we do?”

“Feed her,” I say, as I try to get up. The weight from my fake belly holds me down and I have to slide to my knees in order to stand. I hand Josh the doll and rummage through the box and see a few of the things that we need, hoping the rest are in the kitchen, although I didn’t see them when we looked. “Bounce her,” I tell him, as I pass with her bottle and formula in my hand.

I’m surprised the water runs, but I have a feeling that anything can happen in Hollywood if you’re willing to put your mind into it. I run the water until its warm and fill her bottle, adding the powder food before putting the top on and shaking, and give Josh a towel to clean himself up with.

I take her from Josh and cradle her in my arms, holding the bottle for her. The sucking sound with lip movement on this doll is far too realistic for my liking. Whoever created her has created a freaking robot. Robots will take over the world if we’re not careful.

“What do we do now?” he asks.

“Um … name her, I guess? I’m not really sure.”

“Right,” he mutters, running his hand over his ball cap. He walks out of the kitchen without another word while I pretend to care about the baby in my arms. I don’t know how long this challenge is supposed to last, but I’m already over it.

I walk through the house and into the living room, expecting to find Josh. Sitting down, I stare at this anatomically correct doll and swear it’s made to look like the both of us. However, I know it’s not possible and I’m just lacking sleep.

“Her room is behind that door we couldn’t open. I took a shot and tried the knob one more time and it opened. There’s a crib and some other things in there, but I don’t know what they are. I’m dad dumb, sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. This isn’t exactly something we had to discuss.” I’m sure Millie and Cole did, though. Josh and I are like the gallon of milk that you forgot about that expired yesterday.

“I know names are supposed to mean something, but honestly there isn’t anyone that I’m close to that I’d want to call even a doll.”

“Is there a name you like?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Not gonna lie, I never thought about having kids.”

“Right … so um, how about something generic like Heather or Apple?”

“Apple?”

Shrugging, I remove the bottle and start to burp the baby. If she’s already peed on Josh, I’m sure she pukes.

“This is really hard.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s not, Josh. You just pick a name and call the doll by that name. How about Jennifer.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

The doorbell rings again and I chose to stay sitting on the couch. Even though I’m not pregnant, I feel way overweight and I don’t want to move. Josh comes in with the letter in his hand.

“I think that this show hates us.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re in debt, which is so far from real life it’s not even funny, but here we are in financial ruins and I work a job where I barely make enough money to cover our bills. We have one kid and two on the way.” Josh covers his face and groans.

“It’s just a game, Josh. They’re trying to stress you out. If we don’t want to play, we just go outside and press that button and we’re back in the house.”

He shakes his head and comes over to kneel in front of me. “Do you want to quit?”

Don’t get me wrong, being out of this suit would be nice, but it’s a game and we’re here to win. “No, we want to win, right?”

He nods and kisses my knee, letting his lips linger for a moment. “My work comp begins in a couple of hours. We should get some sleep.” He helps me stand and waits until I pick up the baby, aka Jennifer. Josh follows me upstairs and into her room. It’s decorated in baby animal theme and it gives me pause wondering if I’ll ever have the opportunity to decorate a nursery.

I set the baby in her crib and pray that she sleeps through the night. Knowing our luck, the answer is no. Josh waits for me at the door and somehow knows to keep it slightly open. We all but collapse onto the bed in our room and I quickly realize that he and I can only spoon. Except it’s hot and I don’t want him to touch me right now.

If this is supposed to be a glimpse into our future, I’m not sure I’m ready for it. Part of me is relived that Josh and I never have to face this and being fake prego and already parents is putting a damper on how we sleep. I look at him, passed out cold and a mile away from me. He looks like he doesn’t have a care in the world, and I suppose that’s true, he doesn’t. This is all game play and not meant to be real, but what if you want it to be real?

Rubbing my hand over the protruding belly suit, I can’t help picturing what it’d be like to be carrying his child or to have our daughter sleeping in the next room, a child that looks like a combination of the both us and who depends on us to nurture him or her. That’s where this show fails in epic proportions. Not only do they mock the meaning of marriage, but now they’re adding children to the mix. I’m not sure I want to win, or even continue to participate, but I will because the money is important to Josh. He has plans to do some good in his community and who am I to try and stop him?

All too soon a buzzer goes off and Josh springs to life, confused and disoriented. I want to laugh, but the fact that I’m so tired, hot, and haven’t slept because I’ve been worrying about a future that I don’t have stops me.

“What’s that noise?”

“My guess, it’s time to start the day.” I shrug, keeping my eyes on him. He hasn’t looked at me once and in the back of my head I know he’s tired, but I’m pregnant with his twins and he should look at me.

“It’s just a game,” I mutter to myself as I try to sit up. Whatever I did to deserve purgatory in fat suits, I’m sorry. I’ll scrub bathroom floors for the rest of my life if I never have to wear one again after this competition.

“What time is it?”

I shake my head. “No idea. My watch is inside the house.” That’s a lie. I don’t wear one. I’m a strict look-at-my-cell-phone-type-of-girl.

Josh slides out of bed and pads to the bathroom. Everything in this house is so close together I can hear everything, but shockingly can’t hear our neighbors. I wonder about Millie, Amanda, and also Rebekah.
What’s their life like right now? Will I get to see them?

“I guess I go to work now.”

“All right,” I say as I stand and walk over to him. What do we do now? I have no idea, but do know our lives would not be like this. “If we were outside this house, this game, what would be happening right now?”

Josh sighs and takes my hands in his. “I’ve thought a lot about what life on the outside could be like for us and this isn’t it. I don’t know if this is meant to scare us or what, but we’ve been in here for hours and I already hate it. I don’t hate the fact that you’re pregnant or we have a kid, but the fact that this isn’t even close to what our reality would be. Am I rich, hell no, but I earn enough money to afford something better.”

“Josh, what are you saying?”

He looks into my eyes and smiles. “I’m hoping you want to give us a chance when we get out of here. I know I don’t deserve it, but I want to see where we can go with this. I still don’t like the idea of being married and I’m not saying we need to divorce, but win or lose, I’m hoping for a chance.”

“S
omeone freaking pinch me.”

That’s what Joey’s response is to my heartfelt-lay-it-on-the-line-emotional-dump. She wants to be pinched and who am I to deny her? I grab a bit of her skin between my thumb and forefinger and squeeze. Her mouth drops open before the wailing ow is emitted. Joey slaps my hand away and glares at me.

“What was that for?”

“You said to pinch you, so I did.”

“Yeah but—”

I take her face into my hands and hold her gaze with mine. “No buts, Joey. I know you’re freaking out because of the way I acted and the things I’ve said, but this is me putting it out there for you and for us. I think you and I have a connection and I want to explore it. I don’t know where it’s going to go, and we may hate each other when we get out of this house, but the thought of never seeing you again, or having to wait a year to see you at the reunion show doesn’t sit well with me.”

“Your day is starting now.” Linda’s disembodied voice echoes through our cult compound and I find myself asking if this is worth it or do Joey and I just ditch out. I can’t do that to Joey, though. Who knows if we’re going to make it, and if we don’t it’d be nice for her to have a nest egg.

Still holding her face in my hands, I bring her forward as far as I can to kiss her. I’m trying not to let the fact that she looks pregnant scare the shit out of me, but it’s definitely plaguing my mind right now. I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s fake. I don’t know if I’m ready to see Joey with a child, but I also know I’m not ready for her to leave me.

“Newlyweds to the courtyard,” Linda says, breaking my connection with Joey.

“How many days until this is show over?”

I laugh, but mentally count the days in my head. “Not soon enough,” I tell her as I take her hand in mine and walk us down the stairs. As soon as we’re outside, I can’t help but look at everyone.

Joey is the only pregnant one. Gary is holding a baby in his arms, which reminds me about the one we left upstairs.

“Shit, the baby,” I say as I run back into the house and take the steps two at a time. Parents of the freaking year right here! I throw the door open in dramatic fashion and rush to the crib, scooping her up. I’m sure she needs to be changed, but I don’t know how to do that. I don’t think we’re vying for points right now so this is as good as it’s going to get.

When I walk back outside, I hear gasps. Oh yeah, I knocked the virtual Joey up good and proper. In real life, it’s not happening anytime soon. If we can make a go of it, I want to enjoy her and build a life before we even think about having little humans. I also need to be confident in my ability to be a father before I even consider it.

“Newlyweds, each of you have been given a different life to lead. While you won’t be able to go to work, you will receive a salary to which you need to budget your expenses with. Houses have to be cleaned, children taken care of …” Patrick laughs as if this is some sort of joke. I’m sure it is to him, but not to the rest of us. This challenge could last weeks if he’s not careful. Viewers will get bored and forget we’re even on.