Blind Reality (32 page)

T
he day is finally here. I should be packing or making arrangements to meet Millie for lunch in a couple of weeks, but I’m not. I’m freaking out. I’m hiding in the shade under the pretenses that I don’t feel well and need to be left alone. Tonight, Joshua and I will be alone together for the first time. I don’t count our time in the master suite because people were still in the house, lingering and always making stupid snide comments about what happens behind the closed and tightly locked door. No, later tonight it’ll just be him and I without any interruptions and I’m freaking the hell out. I know it’s not our first time, but it feels like it.

Everyone is doing their own thing today. Josh is doing laundry and packing. Amanda is sunbathing and avoiding Gary. I don’t think they’re going to make it. Gary is pretty smitten with Rebekah, but neither of them has said how they know each other. Bronx insists that his marriage is legit and they’re in love. Rebekah does dote on Bronx, which is sort of sickening, but who am I to judge? I think my husband walks on water. Cole and Millie are freaking out about what tomorrow brings and where will they live. They both have good jobs that neither is willing to give up. They’re both banking on winning tonight. Part of me thinks they will, but I think it’ll come down to Josh and Bronx. Their fanbases will be voting in droves and Cole and Millie can’t compete with those fangirls. I can’t either, but I’m going to try.

Bronx walks outside and starts to stretch. I shouldn’t be looking him. He’s beautiful, fit, and stupidly gorgeous. He didn’t always look like this, though. The Bronx I knew was a bit on the scrawny side, and often times shy. When he said he was dropping out to pursue acting I thought he had fallen and hit his head, but he was determined and it’s paid off. Even behind my sunglasses he knows I’m watching him as he wiggles his fingers at me in a dumb wave. I could pretend I didn’t see him, but it’s too late for that since he’s walking over this way. I could act like I’m sleeping, but knowing Bronx he’ll just wake me up.

He sits down next to me and sighs. I should ignore him, but he’s my friend. I do like him as such even though he tells me I’m making a mistake with Josh. Maybe he’s just looking out for me, or maybe he’s the blinking neon sign that is telling me to run and run fast. Thing is, I’m in love with Josh. It’s not the stupid celebrity crush type of love where I’m falling to my feet and crying my eyes out when he walks by type, but the type where my heart aches when he’s not near me and my skin tingles when he caresses me. It’s the type of love where my breathing hitches when he walks into a room and my heart stops when he says my name. I have to trust that he feels the same way or he wouldn’t want to try anything after the show.

“What are your plans for after the show?”

“The press tour, or don’t you have to participate because you came in late?”

Bronx doesn’t answer and I can’t be bothered to press him for more. This is his avoidance tactic, and it makes me wonder if he’s in this game to win, or if he was a diversion sent in. I wouldn’t put it past the producers to do something like this.

“I meant when everything is done. You know, when you’re no longer obligated to Josh.”

It’s times like this when I wish I could get up and leave. Even after the show is over, I won’t be able to escape. The show is in charge of everything from where I stay to when I eat and what I wear. The only benefit is that I don’t have to pay for any of it and I get a new wardrobe.

“I’m not sure. We haven’t discussed anything in detail.” I chance a glance in Bronx’s direction. He’s spread out on the grass with his arms behind his head, eyes closed.

“And what are you going to do when Jules is waiting for him?”

I roll my eyes and turn away from him. “What makes you think she will be?”

Bronx tugs on my shoulder, turning me toward him. He lifts my sunglasses away from my face, forcing me to look at him.

“Joey, I’m not trying to hurt you. I just want you to protect yourself. When the show is over, he’ll go back to her. They’re like magnets. I would know because at one point I really liked Jules, but even when she was with me, she was with him. It sucked because being in the middle of the Wilson Maxwell drama isn’t anything to write home about.

“I fell for that girl, so I know what he’s thinking. I tried my hardest to be what she wanted, but it was never enough. Even their public break-up wasn’t everything the media made it out to be. She didn’t cheat on him, but the pictures of us in public were enough for him to end it. She and I gave it try, but she couldn’t stay away and neither could he. This time isn’t going to be any different.

“Jules Maxwell will be here tonight, waiting for him. His lawyer will be waiting for you. I just want you prepared.”

“We’re married,” I mutter, unable to find my voice. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep the tears at bay. I will not cry over Josh, definitely not on national television.

“Yeah, and so are Rebekah and I, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings for Gary. Hell, once again I’m in the middle and will have to make a decision. She knows him from church and they’re far more connected than her and I. I’m turning a blind eye for true happiness and all that other crap you women want. It sucks knowing your wife is in love with another man and it really hurts knowing you came onto a reality show only to have that man thrown in your face.”

“I don’t think Josh is like that, Bronx. We’ve talked about tomorrow and even when Jules had a video message for Josh, he was repulsed.”

“It’s acting,” he says very nonchalantly.

“And what if you’re acting now?” I ask as I sit up, officially pissed off. “What if you’re bullshitting me so I make some rash decision? Maybe you want me to walk away from Josh so I can be with you? I thought we were friends, Bronx?”

“We are,” he says, matching my position. “If I didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t be telling you this. Jesus, Joey, just watch yourself because the last thing I want is to see you hurt.”

I shake my head, sliding my sunglasses back on. I don’t want him to see me anymore and I can’t really look at him without wanting to choke the life out of him. “How do you know she’ll be here?”

“She told me.”

I nod and stand up, leaving him as he calls my name. Amanda says my name as well, but I ignore her. No sooner do I step in the house is my name called for the confession room. I pause at the door and take a deep breath. What just happened outside will not carry over to this video feed.

Sitting down, I slide my sunglasses to the top of my head and wink at the camera. Game face is on and I’m ready.

“It’s your last day, Joey.”

My smile is big and cheesy. “I know. I’m thrilled to start my life with Joshua.” Because yes, he and I will have a life, regardless of what Bronx says.

“Are you happy you came on the show?”

“I am,” I tell the viewers. “I’ve met some great people and have developed lasting friendships. The food was good; competitions were a little stressful, but enjoyable.”

“What will you miss the least?”

I laugh because the list is long. I pretend to think even though I already know the answers. “The cameras,” I say truthfully. “I won’t miss them at all.”

“And the most?”

“Ah, I think the lack of responsibility. It’s sort of like being on vacation.”

“Thank you, Joey. We’ll see you at the finale.”

The bathroom is a cloud of perfume and hairspray. We each did each other’s hair and make-up, except Amanda had to add a bit extra to hers. We don’t care because in a few short minutes we’ll be out of here.

All of our bags are now out of the house. When our names are announced we’ll walk out as a couple with no worries, except for the ones plaguing me about Josh. I didn’t ask him about Jules because I don’t want to know. I’m going to trust my husband and the things he’s been telling me. That’s what a good wife does. She puts her faith in the man she married, regardless of the circumstances. Bronx may not care about Rebekah flirting with Gary, but I won’t tolerate Jules doing the same with Josh.

When I come out of the bathroom, I pause and take a mental picture. The guys are together one last time, sharing a beer. I’d like a shot of something to calm my nerves, but I don’t think that’s wise. I’ll just lean on Joshua for support and guidance. He’s a pro at handling these types of things.

Josh catches me staring and flashes me his killer smile, the one that makes me weak in the knees and makes my stomach turn inside out. He gives me butterflies. It’s a feeling that I hope never goes away. When he stands, my heart beats a little faster and my palms start to sweat. I’ve seen this man in all his glory and still I’m imagining what he looks likes under this black button down shirt and black slacks.

The way he walks toward me has me rubbing my thighs together. When he reaches me, his fingers glide up my arm until his hand is cupping my cheek. Joshua cradles my face in his hand as he leans in giving me a taste of the beer that still lingers on his lips.

“Only a few more hours,” he whispers against my lips, effectively rendering me useless. How Bronx can say he’s going to leave me for Jules I’ll never understand. If he didn’t want me, he wouldn’t be like this. We had boundaries before. Guidelines were set. He crossed them first. He took the walls down when I insisted on keeping mine up. He’s not a Hollywood playboy, jumping from bed to bed like Bronx. I feel stupid for even giving Bronx’s suggestions merit.

The doorbell sounds, and that’s our cue to get ready. We’ll be announced one by one until all four couples are in front of the live studio audience. I have no doubt my parents will be out there waiting. My mom isn’t going to pass up a chance to meet Josh.

He takes my hand and pulls me into his side, guiding us behind Cole and Millie. Amanda and Gary are going first with Bronx and Rebekah going last behind us. Maybe this is way we got married, just none of us knew. At least we aren’t walking out in blindfolds this time.

The cheers are loud when Gary and Amanda walk out and even louder when Cole and Millie take the stage.

“Don’t be nervous,” he says as he squeezes my hand. He knows how I’m feeling. I look over my shoulder at Bronx. He winks at me, earning a righteous eye roll.

“Joshua and Joey Wilson,” Patrick Jonas says our name and hearing it makes my heart pound in my ears. Josh kisses my hand before walking out to the waiting crowd. As soon as we’re away from the door, he has our hands raised in some type of victory cheer and the audience is on their feet. Maybe we stand a chance at winning after all.

I spot my parents and wave. My dad blows me a kiss and my mom fans herself. It’s a good thing there will be some distance between us or my mother might land us on one of those talk shows because she’s stolen my famous husband and wants us to live all together as one big happy family.

As soon as Bronx is out, Patrick Jonas is center stage recapping touching and embarrassing moments. I’m not paying attention because I’m searching the crowd for Jules Maxwell. If she’s here, I want to be prepared.

“Now the moment we’ve all been waiting for.” Josh squeezes my thigh. His hand has been resting there since we sat down, making me want to kick Bronx for being such an ass. “Coming in fourth place … Gary and Amanda Williams.”

Everyone claps, but Amanda looks dejected. Patrick doesn’t waste any time and opens the next envelope. I want to see his face, but can’t because he’s facing the crowd. His expression would give everything away.

“Coming in third … Bronx and Rebekah Taylor.”

The dramatic pauses are killing me. Each time he stops talking, I feel like my heart is about to beat right out of my skin.

Bronx and Rebekah wave to the crowd as I glare at him. I’m sending him telepathic messages to turn around and look at me so I can rub it in his face that Josh and I still have a chance, but he never does.

“Now for our winners,” Patrick says as the audience grows impatient.

“Wait,” I whisper to Josh, “doesn’t he announce second?”

He shakes his head. “No point. They like focusing on the winners.”

“That’s stupid.”

“The winners of
Married Blind
Season three are … Cole and Millie Brooks!”

My mouth drops open as confetti and balloons fall from the ceiling. I’m stunned and at a loss for words. I thought for sure Josh’s fans would’ve secured us a victory and maybe that is where we went wrong. We didn’t compete hard enough. Josh tugs my hand and walks us over to our friends where we try to congratulate them. They’re happy, and I should be happy for them, but I wanted to win. I thought we were going to win.

When the cameras stop rolling, we’re ushered off stage and sent in different directions. We’re told that if we have family in the audience, they’ll be brought back to us. Cole and Millie are taken away before I can truly congratulate them. Josh and I are instructed to wait in another room, where we’ll be given our press tour assignments. Before we can even step into the room, before we can finally be alone without a viewing audience, his name is yelled, and it’s a sound that I have to get used to.

“Matt, what are you doing here?” Josh hugs the man in front of us, letting go of my hand in the process.