Blind Reality (13 page)

“My turn,” I blurt out, needing a break. I’m not a lightweight, but I haven’t eaten and I’m afraid that it won’t take long to turn me into a touchy feely unwanted wife. “Never have I ever had sex in public.” Only Amanda drinks, giving us all a break.

“Never, huh?” Joshua whispers to me. I shake my head and keep my eyes locked on anywhere but him.

“Never have I ever been arrested,” Joshua says, and this time it is just Gary who drinks.

“Do tell,” Cole blurts out.

Gary blushes but tells that one night in college he was dared to go streaking and ran in front of a police officer. Millie tells us she’s had to arrest a streaker before and it’s not fun.

“Never have I ever had drunken sex,” Cole says as he sits back, smiles, and watches the rest of us pound our shots. And here I thought I was the prude one in the group, but even I’ve done that.

Our game continues and turns fun. I’m up to seven shots, or maybe eight. My tongue is numb and my speech is somewhat sideways, not slurred, but I’m actually enjoying myself. Joshua’s hands have been roaming from my shoulder to my ear. His fingers play in my hair before he removes his arm and rests his hand on my bare thigh. His lips have touched my shoulder, my ear, and the back of my hand. He’s killing me slowly, but it’s worth it. It’s worth having the memories of what I could’ve had if he didn’t insist on living by his stupid rules.

“We should go to bed,” he whispers as his lips move from my ear to my neck. He doesn’t have to ask me twice.

I stand abruptly and announce that I’ve had enough. The fact that Josh laughs doesn’t help because the snide comments start from Cole and Gary. I want to yell out “be jealous, bitches,” but there really isn’t anything to be jealous of. We’ll kiss, he’ll tell me no, but hold me while I sleep and fight the tears.

As soon as we’re back inside the house, firm hands catch my hips and guide me toward the master suite. Joshua’s chest is pressed to my back as we walk awkwardly to our room. I could stop and ask him what’s going on, but the anticipation I’m feeling needs to be explored. I’m going to make a move once we’re behind the closed door.

I open the door and he slams it shut. A smile creeps across my face when I hear the lock slide into place. Turning to face him, I rake my eyes over his body. I step closer, bridging the gap between us, and trail my fingers over his skin. A slight giggle escapes when I see him react.

“Joey.” His voice is quiet, sexy.

My fingers find their way into his hair and his eyes close. Yes, the attraction is definitely there, he just needs to act on it. I wet my lips and place them on his chest, moving my way to his ear. “You’re my husband. I’m entitled,” I whisper as I tug lightly on his earlobe.

Joshua’s hands grip my hips as he growls. If that’s meant to discourage me, it’s not. I kiss along his jaw to his other ear where I flick my tongue and his hands respond by pulling me closer. His hand slides up my back until his fingertips are touching the clasp of my bikini.

My head is screaming,
Yes, yes, yes. I’m winning
.

I’m afraid to pull away and look into his eyes. I don’t want to see hesitation or regret. I trail my nose along his cheek and when my lips are in perfect position, I make my move. He has two options: let me kiss him like I did before, or push me away.

He chooses the former and plunges his tongue deep into my mouth, giving me what I’m asking for. I grip his hair tighter and grind my body against his. I’m pulled against him when he cups my ass earning a righteous moan. Joshua moves us toward the bed and I have to keep myself from pulling away and fist pumping out of happiness.

Everything about Joshua is just how I fantasized it would be. We don’t plop on the bed, but glide down gently. He never lets go and our mouths continue to work against each other. Part of me wishes this were being televised so his fans could see that he’s serious about me, but the other part is thankful this is being done in private so when he rejects me, only he can see my disappointment.

Joshua grinds his hips into mine making me gasp. He uses this moment to break away and lavish me with the most sensual kisses I have ever experienced. His hips move against mine as we rock into each other. My back arches when his tongue licks along the swell of my breasts. The tie of my bikini top falls away, the cool air making my nipples pucker. My hand moves the waistband of his shorts, pushing inside. He moans and I take that as a green light to continue. My hand moves up and down his shaft as my body teeters between reality and a stupid wet dream. In every fantasy I’ve had, we’ve done this, except we weren’t drunk.

Drunk.

“Joshua,” I say breathlessly as his tongue moves in and out of my mouth.

“I know. I want this, too.”

Before I can come up with a coherent rebuttal, Joshua is pulling my bikini bottoms off and tearing open one of the thousand colorful condoms sitting on the nightstand, and as much as I want to gawk at his body, I can’t. I’m afraid that this is just another moment in the insanity that lives in my head.

[Roll intro]

“I’m Patrick Jonas, and welcome to another episode of
Married Blind
.”

[Theme music plays]

“It’s time to crown another master couple this week and check in with our reigning couple. This week, the couples will compete for their first luxury competition. Tonight one lucky couple will win a date out, away from the other newlyweds. We’ll find out more after this commercial break.”

[Stagehands enter the house and adjust the microphones of the contestants]

[Break over]

[Audience applause]

“Welcome back. Now let’s check in with our houseguests and see how their relationships are developing. I know I’m a little curious to talk to Joshua and Joey.”

[Audience oohs]

“And find out just how things are shaping up for Cole and Millie and Gary and Amanda. I think it’s time for Gary and Amanda to make a splash, don’t you?”

[Audience cheers]

“I have a feeling they’re playing it safe, but is there a need to?”

[Switch to the live feed]

“Hello, newlyweds.”

[All respond]

“Well, the first thing the viewers want to know; Joshua and Joey, how is married life?”

I
look at Joey, sitting next to me like a doting wife. When I woke up this morning … well, let’s just say I was very confused. She was sound asleep on the couch and I was buck ass naked except for my … and he was snuggled up with a blue raincoat that was sticking to my leg. After a painful attempt to remove the sleeve, in which I lost a few leg hairs in the process, I hopped into the shower and tried to remember the activities from the night before. I want to say everything came flooding back to me as soon as the water hit my face, but only red cups, laughter, and a bottle of tequila gave me a glimpse of what we did. One thing is for certain—Joey and I had sex last night and now that awkward “is he going to remember” moment is happening.

Joey is cool as a cucumber and if I didn’t know any better I’d say she’s done this a million times. I’m supposed to be the actor, not her, and yet here she is poised and ready to take on the most invasive question possible in front of a live audience. I’m not sure what she’s going to say. I mean, we had sex last night and even though I don’t remember it, I felt pretty damn good when I woke-up this morning and I have no doubt that’s because of her. I hate that we had to be drunk for it to happen, but my subconscious knew what I wasn’t willing to admit. I want her. I just can’t have her. Not like this and not in this house where our lives are dictated by time slots and ratings.

“Married life isn’t what I thought it would be.” She looks at me and shrugs. My stomach bottoms out with dread. “I mean, Joshua cleans up after himself, does his own laundry, and makes his own food. Aside from the ring on my finger …” Joey pauses and holds her hand out. My eyes close, I don’t know what she’s going to say, but it isn’t going to be pretty or in my favor. “Well, let’s just say things are different.”

I’m suddenly angry and I don’t know why. What the hell kind of questions are these and why is she being so coy? Patrick Jonas chuckles and for some reason I want to reach through the television and strangle him. My anger, for what it’s worth, should be focused on Joey for not following our plan … my plan. I need to talk to her about last night and find out just how things got out of control. I know we were both drinking, but I didn’t think she was that drunk and by all accounts she and I shouldn’t have had sex, but we did and I think I liked it. No, I know I did because I have the urge to pick her up and carry her away so we can do it again, but this time sober. I want to know exactly what she feels like pressed against my body without the cloud of tequila being in the way. What happened last night or early this morning can’t happen again.

“Are you saying that Joshua Wilson is a diva?”

Joey blanches, but recovers quickly, yet another feature that would do well in Hollywood. I don’t know why I can find all these amazing things about her, but not give in. Apparently only my brain is the logical one since my dick has a mind of its own.

“Absolutely not. My husband is very kind and I’m a lucky woman for all the reasons I listed above.” Joey glances over and smiles; her eyes light up and everything seems happy. When Patrick starts talking, her face tells a different story. She’s acting, and I just bought it, just like I’ve been asking her to buy into my bullshit. Oh God, what did I do to her last night? I need this segment to be over so we can talk. It’s the dreaded “this shouldn’t have happened” talk that I never pictured myself having with her. She’s going to be hurt and probably kick me in the nuts, and I deserve that, but I was drunk and the fact that I only remember bits and pieces of the night does not bode well for me. I can’t even tell her that I enjoyed myself. I mean … it looks like I did and my body feels great, but I just can’t remember.

“Gary, Joshua has taken you under his wing of sorts. How are you feeling with your new workout?”

All eyes are on Gary, and the man he was a few days ago is not the man sitting here now. He’s taken my advice and is doing everything he can. I haven’t seen him pick up a beer in a week and he’s been pushing himself with training.

Gary smiles and he should be. He looks at Amanda, who has a small lift to her lip. There has been no mistaking her attitude toward him, but she seems to be warming her icy stance on them being a couple.

Amanda is much like me. She’s just a bitch about it. I have my reasons for keeping Joey at arm’s length. It’s better for both of us if I do it this way.

“Josh and Cole have been a great support system and I do believe my wife is enjoying the fruits of my labor.” Gary runs his hand down his chest and over his stomach, a slimmer one at that, but still a bit portly. Amanda blushes and the audience does their usual prompted oohs and aahs.

Cole starts clapping and I join in. Any confidence that we can give him is a boost. I meet a lot of people in my line of work and know that even the slightest amount of confidence can make someone feel as if they matter.