Bittersweet Hope (15 page)

“Sweet dreams.”

He winked again and walked inside his room.
I floated into mine on a cloud.

Chapter Eighteen

The next morning, I stretched my arms and legs when I woke up, a delicious feeling of contentment settling over me. I hopped out of bed and dressed. The faster I got downstairs to see Caleb, the better. Hopefully I could stop myself from squealing when I saw him. Anna might find that just a teeny bit odd.

Half running, half walking down the stairs, I forced myself to slow down when I got to the kitchen. The room was silent and empty. There was no Anna bustling around cooking breakfast, and no Caleb lounging lazily at the table. I frowned and walked toward the living room. They weren’t there, either.

I’d noticed that both of their rooms were empty when I passed by upstairs, so I knew they weren’t still asleep. There was a chill in the room, and my hands automatically went to my arms to try and protect them from the cold. It was then that I noticed the back door was open a crack. I walked toward it, and saw Anna and Caleb standing at the catfish pond, their back to me. They were covered in the early morning fog.

I slipped on my shoes, which were right beside the door where I’d left them when Caleb and I had come in the night before. I made sure to walk pretty slow as I went toward them. I didn’t want to interrupt if they were having a private conversation. But as I got closer, I was met only with silence. They weren’t talking at all.

When I reached Caleb’s side I saw what they were looking at and gasped. There in the pond, floating side by side, were dozens and dozens of dead catfish. The top of the pond was covered in them, their still eyes seeming to stare at us.

Anna looked over at me, a tight smile on her face. “Good morning, Audrey.”

“Good morning.” I murmured.

She let out a deep sigh. “I’m going to head back in and try and find out what we need to do about this.” She turned, but not before reaching over to squeeze Caleb’s arm.

Once she was back inside the house, I looked up at him. “What…what happened to them?” I asked. I assumed I was looking at every single catfish that lived in the pond. How could they all just die so suddenly?

Caleb ran his fingers through his still messy blonde hair. “I don’t know. I mean, I guess there were other things that could happen. But my first guess would be that somebody contaminated the water.”

I reeled at his words, dropping my hand from where I had placed it in his.
They were contaminated? Who in the world would want to do anything to the catfish in Caleb and Anna’s pond?

“But, why would somebody do that?” I asked.

Caleb looked at me, his gaze even. “Maybe someone doesn’t like me. Wanted to send me a message.”

My mind traveled to the night before, when Caleb and I had been getting ready to go in the house to go to bed. There had been a noise—a car. The sound of an engine that was almost identical to one I’d heard before. Almost identical to the sound Zach’s made.

I met his eyes and I knew he was thinking the same thing. “Caleb…” I said. I couldn’t continue. If Zach had done this, then he had to have seen us out here last night. He probably saw everything.

Caleb put his arm around me. “It’s okay, Audrey. They’re just fish. I just hope that’s all he’s capable of.” He steered me around and back toward the house.

I couldn’t imagine Zach actually hurting anyone. He’d always been tough. But it had also seemed like he talked a big game, like he was pretty much harmless otherwise. I was starting to wonder just how much I didn’t know about Zach Cochran.

Chapter Nineteen

Two more weeks passed, and nothing else happened. There wasn’t a peep out of Zach, and Sadie was still ignoring me. I’d even seen her flirting with a bunch of seniors at school, but I left her alone. I couldn’t make her come around anymore than I could make Zach be less of an asshole. Though, I thought the catfish had just been his immature way of trying to make Caleb think he needed to worry.

My mind was always with Caleb. Days had faded into nights, and every single night after Anna went to bed we met downstairs, talking and stealing kisses. We didn’t tell her about us. It was our little secret. I didn’t think Anna would really mind if she found out or anything, but it was sort of thrilling to be hiding something. It had become a game to see who could
get to the living room first, and who could be the quietest on the way back inside.

Finally, after a long week of school and going to Caleb’s baseball practices, Friday night loomed before us. Caleb and I were going to the movies. We planned on hitting up the dollar theater, because we didn’t want to spend money on something we weren’t going to pay that close of attention to anyway. It’s wasn’t like we would actually watch it.

We settled into our plush red seats, snuggling together as the previews rolled across the screen. The name of the movie escaped me…it could have even been some cartoon crap. I hoped not, because then there might be parents with their kids there. I squirmed a bit in my chair. Hopefully we had at least picked a PG-13 movie.

Caleb slipped his arm around the back of my shoulders and put his brawny hand under my chin, tilting it upwards toward him. I resisted, trying to keep my head down. He crooked his finger again and lifted my face until we were eye to eye. Even though the pitch black theater kept me from seeing the intensity shining in his gaze, I could feel it. Goosebumps cropped up on every imaginable surface of skin. He nuzzled my nose. I did the same, then pulled back, teasing. The thrill of making him want me rippled throughout my body. It was like a drug, addicting and exhilarating.

He let out a soft laugh and tried again. This time, my hand moved into his hair, grazing just above his ear. Caleb didn’t wait after that. He leaned in and pressed his warm lips to mine, opening my mouth with his and kissing me with a fire that matched the one burning in my stomach.

I didn’t get to enjoy it long enough, because we were interrupted by the sound of a girl shrieking. I pulled out of Caleb’s embrace and shielded my eyes against the brightness of the movie screen. There were three people standing up toward the front of the theater. I couldn’t make anything out but their shapes, but it looked like two shorter people and one tall one. One of the short ones and the tall one stood across from each other, and you could tell by the way they were standing they weren’t happy. The other short one hung off to the side.

“You said you’d bring it. I brought you the money like you wanted, now where’s my stuff?” A high pitched voice echoed through the theater.

“Tori, do we have to do this in here?” A meeker voice spoke up. One that was very familiar. My heart plummeted to my toes as I fought to get out of the tangled embrace Caleb and I had created. As the three figures hurried to the side entrance and out of the theater, I jumped up from my seat.

“Audrey? What’s wrong? Where are you going?” Caleb’s voice was both startled and annoyed.

“It’s Sadie, Caleb! One of those voices was Sadie!” I didn’t wait to see if he got up to follow me before rushing out into the balmy night. There was no sign of my little sister in the throngs of kids standing outside the building. The pavement seemed to rock underneath my feet. Who was the tall person? Guy or girl? From the stance I would have to guess it was a male. Why was Tori so pissed at him? And what stuff was she talking about? Several ideas bounced through my head, none of which made me feel any better. Cold beads of sweat gathered on my palms and above my upper lip.

Caleb came up beside me. “Do you see her anywhere?” His eyes followed mine through the crowd.

“No.” My voice sounded tense even to me, and his hand found my shoulder, squeezing it. I put my hand on top of his, m
y eyes still zig-zagging in every direction. I caught sight of Natalie and Simon out of the corner of my eye, standing in line waiting to buy tickets. Hopefully they hadn’t noticed us.

“There.” Caleb said a moment later, his voice almost a whisper. He nodded toward the back of the parking lot. In between two cars stood Sadie and Tori with a pizza faced guy I had never seen before. He looked to be about the same age as me. I shuddered when I saw what my sister was w
earing. She looked like a prostitute. Right down to the knee high black boots. Memories of my mother blinded me for a split second, and my nerves exploded like fireworks.

“What are they doing? Do you know that kid?”

“Shhh.” Caleb held a finger to his lips and took my hand, crouching down and leading me to a row of cars behind where they were standing. We crept up behind them, careful to move so that they wouldn’t see or hear us.

“Where’s my stuff?” Tori said again. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest and she leaned on one of the cars, eyebrows raised and lips pursed. Hate coursed through my veins. What I wouldn’t give to smack that bratty look right off her face.

The guy shrugged. “Couldn’t get it tonight. I’ll have to get it for you tomorrow somehow. My mom didn’t leave like she was supposed to, so I couldn’t get in her medicine cabinet. Do you know what she’d do if she caught me?”

I stifled a gasp. Medicine cabinet?
Pills?
So many emotions were running through me it was hard to pinpoint them all. Fear, anger, disgust. The gang was all there. My heart fluttered wildly, and I looked back at Caleb. His forehead was creased and his arm was already flexing. Hopefully pizza face could run fast.

Turning, my eyes fell onto my sister. Sadie stared at the ground, rubbing her hands together and scuffing the toe of her boots on the pavement.

“That’s not good enough.” Tori snapped. “I need my fix, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to get out of the house tomorrow. You know those idiots keep us on lockdown most of the time.”

Her fix. What in the world was this chick on? I took a step forward, but Caleb touched my arm. He shook his head when our eyes met, as if to say not yet. Part of me wanted to protest, but another part knew he was right. We needed to keep watching, to see how far Tori would take this.

The guy, apparently her dealer, shrugged again. “I might be able to get something else. I know a kid across town who might have some stuff, but you never know what it’s gonna be. Pot, ecstasy, meth. He usually has something better than what I could get.” He looked from Tori to my sister. “It’ll cost you though.”

It would cost them my ass. Every word he said sent another shock wave through me.

Tori let out a laugh and it sprinkled into the night air. The sound seemed to suffocate me.

“We don’t have any money.” Sadie spoke up.

Pizza face grinned. “There are other ways you can pay.”

The color drained from my sister’s face, and I sucked in my breath. Caleb flinched beside me.

“We’ll do what we have to. Won’t we, Sadie?” Tori bit her lip and batted her eyelashes at her friend.

“I…uh…” Sadie stammered, and I’d finally had enough. Charging forward, Caleb was at my heels and we were standing beside the three of them in two seconds flat.

“Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Adrenaline pumped inside me. It crossed my mind that there were people around, but I didn’t really care who heard, not even Natalie and Simon. All I cared about was keeping my sister safe.

“Audrey!” Sadie’s mouth hung open, her face twisting between rage and humiliation. Her eyes sped from Tori to me and back again.

“Oh shit, here we go again. It’s the fun police.” Tori rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips.

The boy looked at Caleb as he rubbed the palms of his hands on his sagging blue jeans. “Is there going to be trouble here?” He asked. His feet began shuffling backwards.

“Is there going to be trouble?” I mimicked. The nerve of this kid. He was all big bad juvenile delinquent when it was just Sadie and Tori, but the minute he sees Caleb he’s a wimp.   “If you’re smart you’ll get out of here, and never come near them again.” I pointed my shaking finger at the two girls.

Sadie squinted her eyes and her nostrils flared. “Audrey, just stay out of it!” Not too long ago it would have hurt my feelings for Sadie to speak to me like that. Tonight it only fueled my anger.

“Stay out of it? You’re doing drugs now, Sadie? I don’t know what’s happening to you. It’s like you’ve completely forgotten who you are.” The urge to shake some sense into her was strong, but the tears welling in my eyes made everything blurry and her face would barely come into focus anymore. So much for being on the warpath. Stupid tear ducts. Couldn’t they like, quit working? I inhaled hard to keep the tears from falling. No way was I letting them see me cry.

“I know what I’m doing.” Sadie’s lower lip jutted out. It was the first time I’d ever thought she looked like Sierra, and it made my heart hurt more.

“Really? Because it sounds like you’re about to try and get high. Don’t you remember what…what Mama used to be like?” It was the only thing I could think of that might get to her.

Silence. Cars revved up and left the parking lot, other groups of teenagers laughed and yelled around us. The night air whooshed past my head, but in this small circle you could hear a pin drop.

“Screw Mama.” Sadie said. She walked over to a small red car and opened the back door, ready to climb in. Her friends followed, pizza face getting into the driver’s side, never taking his eyes off of Caleb.

I put my hand on Caleb’s chest when he took a step forward. He didn’t need to get into any kind of trouble for me or Sadie. This was our fight, not his. And not Tori or her pill head friend either.

I went to the car. “Sadie, please. Please why don’t you just come home with us? Maybe Anna can call Mrs. Anderson and talk her into letting you stay with us for a while, and we can be together.” My hands were clasped so hard in front of my chest they felt stiff and sore, but I didn’t care. The only thing I could feel was pain, and not the physical kind. It was a pain so deep into my soul it threatened to eat away at me forever.

“Stay with
y’all
? Did you notice you included yourself in with them, like a family? See, Audrey. It was all over the minute the first one of us got out of Mrs. Anderson’s car.” She motioned toward Caleb. “That’s your family now.” Then Sadie nodded in Tori’s direction. “And this is mine.” She sank into the car and closed the door.

I shook my head, but couldn’t find the right words to tell her she was wrong. I loved being with Anna and Caleb, that was true. But they weren’t my family. It was only Sierra and Sadie. I pressed my fingers to the glass on her window as the car started to move. A second later I had to back up to avoid losing a toe under the tire.

“Sadie! I love you! Sadie!” I didn’t know if my sister heard me as they sped off into the night, but I prayed she did. All I wanted was for her to hear my words. To believe in them. And in me.

Caleb’s arm caught me just before I hit the ground, and he stroked my hair as the tears fell in waves. “Get me out of here.” I managed to choke out.

He scooped me up and carried me back to his truck, his silent strength turning my skin into armor, refusing to let anything else hurt me.

The cool glass of the window felt good against my aching head. I closed my eyes, making the tears stop. I’d cried more in the past month than in my whole damn life. Tears weren’t a luxury I’d had growing up. They didn’t help anything, so I figured it was useless to waste the energy. But this crap with Sadie got to me like nothing else ever had. She was so vulnerable and naïve, but she thought she was made of steel or something. The tiny taste of a life she’d finally been given was pushing her toward the edge, and it scared the absolute shit out of me.

Caleb’s muscles tensed as he navigated the steering wheel on the drive home. His eyes focused on the road as his jaw flexed in anger.

“I could have knocked that kid out so they couldn’t leave.” He muttered.

“No. It would have only made her more determined to do what I didn’t want her to do.” I told him. “Sadie has never acted like this. It’s always been there though, the rebellion. I can see that now. She has always been like a bubble about to pop, the first chance she got.”

The lights of home finally came into view. A voice inside my head told me to ask Caleb to just keep driving, away to some place where there was nothing to worry about. I was so tired of worrying about everybody else. Running wouldn’t solve anything, though. The only thing it would do would be get us both in trouble.

Caleb parked the truck and looked at me, his face shaded in the night. “What do you want to do?”

The thought of telling Anna slithered around in my head for a minute. That would probably be equal to Caleb punching the skinny kid. It wasn’t her fight, and I didn’t want to get her involved. Besides, we had no idea where they went. There was no way anybody would find them before they did whatever it was they were going off to do. The best option was to try and talk to Sadie Monday at school.

Putting on the best smile I could muster, I faced Caleb. “I think for tonight I kind of just want to go to bed.”