Bittersweet (9 page)

“Geez, Jenna, how close do you want me to be? I’m afraid I might touch something I’m not supposed to, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m fine. The nurse gave me something amazing.” She lied a little. The medication was starting to wear off, but she didn’t care. He was there, and if she had to endure being uncomfortable for a little while, then she’d gladly take the trade-off.

“You woke up before?”

“You were sleeping in the chair beside me, and I held your hand, or at least I tried to. I must have dozed off again.” She sighed and felt as though she’d been asleep for too long now.

He looked at her and finally smiled. His spirits seemed to lift a little bit, so she pushed her luck. “Kiss me.”

“Seriously?” He moved his face away as if the thought of it made him nervous and looked at her from head to toe.

“Do I look that awful?” she teased. “Kiss me.”

“I don’t know, Jenna,” he started to argue, but she wouldn’t give him the chance. She pressed her hands down again to move forward. If he wasn’t coming to her, she was going to him.

“Are you crazy?” he exclaimed and pushed gently on her shoulders to get her to lie back. “You’re as stubborn as ever, and I’d like you to heal so that I can actually take you home one of these days.”

She laughed. “Yeah, but mission accomplished. You’re touching me; is that so bad? Honestly, Tyler, I thought I’d lost you. Is it so terrible that I want a kiss?” She looked away, feeling rejected and self-conscious. She hadn’t looked in a mirror and began to wonder if she really did look that terrible after all.

The bed moved a little as he came closer and smiled. “No, it’s not half as bad as it was.”

“I missed you,” she whispered. “And I’m so glad you’re here with me.” She held his face as he moved closer to feel him against her again. Their lips finally touched, and she began to cry. She thought she’d never be able to do this with him again, and there they were. He pulled away way too soon. “Not done yet,” she whispered.

He chuckled and obliged. His tongue outlined her bottom lip for entry. A moan sounded from deep within his throat, fueling her desire to keep kissing him. Tyler, her husband, was actually alive and well, had come back from the dead.

“Oh!” Her mother gasped from the door, and they both laughed at her embarrassment.

“Ouch,” Jenna said between giggles. “I think it’s time for more pain meds. Can someone get the nurse?”

“Are you all right?” Tyler asked.

Jenna nodded. “But I’ll be better once I get a little more of whatever they gave me earlier, though. Can you stay with me for a while?”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Once the nurse had administered her magic and her mother had been assured that Jenna was doing fine, her mother left them alone for the day.

Drugged and comfortable, Jenna still had a lot of questions. She needed answers, and this was her opportunity to get them from him. “So what happened?”

“Do you remember anything at all?”

“We were on our way to pick up Jayden, and it was raining, right?”

He nodded. “We left early, and it started to rain. I pulled over because we could barely see through the windshield.” He smiled, but it looked strained. “You were bored and feeling a little uneasy with the weather.” He looked away and cleared his throat.

“Tyler, what happened? I remember that part. I want to know the rest.” She needed to know.

“I’m so sorry, Jenna. It all happened so fast. We could hear tires squealing close by, and the headlights came for us fast. It was a delivery truck. The man swerved out of the way thinking he saw something in the road and didn’t see us clearly until it was too late. As soon as I could make out what was happening, I tried to pull you along with me. I managed to get the door open and jump out in time, but the car was crushed. I could see your body fly inside of it. You almost didn’t make it.” He stood up and started to pace. “If anything had happened to you…I mean if it ever came to that…” He looked away again. “I just don’t know if I could live with myself.”

“Now who’s being ridiculous? You should know better than anyone that I’m too stubborn to die. There’s just too much to live for.” She smiled, hoping that by teasing him she could get him to smile with her. She hated that he blamed himself. What happened had happened. She was still just so relieved that he wasn’t dead.

He sat with her again but stayed silent.

“So is this a bad time to ask more? I mean, what am I dealing with here? How bad am I?”

From what she could see there were a lot of tiny scars and tender spots all over her arms and legs, though her right side was the more damaged. Her lower calf and all foot were bandaged. Tyler watched as she tried to examine herself. She slowly traced her fingers across her face, and it didn’t feel that bad. Her lips felt really dry, and the top of her head was tender, but otherwise she didn’t feel too many scrapes and bruises there.

“You’re beautiful.”

“Liar.” She smiled, knowing she must have looked awful, but he was still sweet for denying it.

“You have a minor head injury; that’s why you’re probably still feeling uncomfortable,” he said, tracing his finger across the top of her head. “When the truck first made impact, your body flew forward, and you hit your head on the dashboard. A lot of the cuts and bruises were caused by the shattered windshield. The car was pushed from the impact. It zoomed a few feet away before crashing into a streetlamp. When it did, you flew to the backseat again. They wouldn’t let me see you. They insisted that I get checked out no matter how many times I told them I was fine.”

He cleared his throat, and she could tell he was trying hard not to cry. “When they brought you to the hospital, they rushed you right in. You were far worse off than my worst nightmare. I ran to you as they rushed you down the hallway, and you whispered my name before you passed out.” He smiled and then exhaled before looking away again. “You’d lost so much blood, and I could see the glass fragments all over you. While they tried to clean you up, they noticed some unusual discoloration and swelling around your stomach and found out there was some internal bleeding. The lining of your spleen was torn. They rushed you into the ICU and gave you an IV for fluids. You had to wear an oxygen mask, and you had a few blood transfusions. They tried their best, but it wasn’t working out, so a couple days later they decided to finally operate to try to repair what they could.”

“That sounds like my kind of luck, but what happened to my ankle?”

“You sprained it,” he whispered, then sighed. “I have never been so afraid in my life, Jenna. Things seemed to go well after the operation. Well, the bleeding stopped anyway, but then you got sick. They told me an infection had developed, and they had to keep you out of it until the treatment worked.”

“So exactly how long have we been here?” She said “we” knowing he’d been by her side the whole time.

“A little over a month.”

“More than a month?” It felt longer, or at least it’d been so much longer when she’d thought Tyler was dead.

It was a lot to take in. She was happy to be alive, of course, and that her husband was alive. She loved him, but she also loved Brady, or thought she did, even though logic told her he couldn’t be real. She wanted him to be. All of it had seemed so real at one time. It made a girl wonder, and she began to second-guess herself. Was she a horrible person to be in love with two men at once, knowing that one may be no more than a figment of her drug- and illness-twisted imagination?

Chapter Eleven

“Are you okay?”

She nodded. “It’s just all so overwhelming and nothing like I woke up thinking. How is Jayden?”

“I wondered how long it would take before you asked about him,” Tyler said with a smile. “He’s always been a momma’s boy.”

“And I love that fact. Let’s hope that hasn’t changed,” she said as her stomach knotted with anxiety. The first time she’d seen him, she’d freaked out. She hadn’t seen him since, not that she blamed them for keeping him away, but still, she really missed him.

He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Not a chance. It’s been hard on him, but he’s a tough little boy, and now that you’re doing so well, it’ll only get better. He’s been with our parents a lot. They take turns watching him, and I’ve gone to see him whenever I could. The house has been pretty crowded since your parents temporarily moved in, and I can’t wait to get you home so things can get back to normal.”

“I imagine you’ve probably spent most of your time here, right?”

Tyler smiled. “I hate when I have to leave, but it gets stressful, and your mom has kicked me out a few times.”

“She has?” That shocked her but made her laugh too. “It was probably for your own good.”

“Probably. It gave me the opportunity to spend time with Jayden or help out at work. They’ve got to where they’re not as shocked to see me as they were at first. I’m on a leave of absence, but on the odd occasion, Alex would let me help her out. I needed that escape. She’s working an interesting case involving a minor in an armed robbery, and I helped her put together some of the defense strategies.”

“Sounds interesting, and I bet its killing you that you’ve been away for so long,” she teased, knowing how much Tyler adored being a lawyer. He was a man who loved a challenge and a good argument.

He laughed, but she sensed there was something he wasn’t telling her. “Is there anything else?”

“No, why?” His laughter died, his face flushed, and he became serious suddenly. She could tell he was being evasive but didn’t have it in her to argue. It was probably something small that he thought would upset her to learn about while she was recovering. She changed the subject. “So this Alex is a woman, huh? I don’t think I’ve met her. Is she new?”

“Not really.”

Maybe teasing him would take the edge off whatever he wasn’t saying. “So then she’s pretty. Should I be worried?”

“That’s ridiculous, Jenna, for you to even ask that,” he snapped. “I mean I can’t believe that you would.”

Her being in the hospital for so long had to have been stressful on everyone and it was beginning to show in Tyler. She was still annoyed, though. They used to be able to tease each other. What was the problem?

“No need to get so worked up. Geez, Tyler, lighten up.”

She watched as he studied her and felt the bed shift as he came closer. “I’m sorry, Jenna. Everything’s just been so hard, and I guess I just needed to vent a little.” He sighed, running his hands through his hair. “Okay, so she’s pretty, but she’s nothing compared to you.”

“I must be so appealing right now, huh?”

“Very.” He leaned in for a kiss. “I can’t wait to get you home. I’ll be able to properly show you how pretty you are then.”

“Now that’s appealing.” Going home was something she looked forward to. “I need to see Jayden,” she whispered. She could feel the lump in her throat and couldn’t help the tears. She was still worried about her little boy.

Tyler nodded and wiped the tears from her face. “That’s a good idea. He misses you just as much.”

When her mother walked in, Jenna asked, “Mom? Where’s Jayden?” She pictured him running in with excitement.

“He’ll be up in a minute. He suckered your dad in when they passed by the gift shop. Now let’s hope they don’t buy the whole store.”

Jenna smiled but was impatient for his arrival. She hadn’t even had the chance to hug him the last time she’d seen him.

“He’s coming, Jenna, have patience.” Tyler smiled and laughed when she childishly stuck out her tongue.

When he came in, Jayden hid behind a large bouquet of flowers but remained by his grandfather’s side. Jenna’s smile soon turned into a look of concern. “Jayden?” She reached out to him, trying not to show how much his reaction hurt.

He didn’t move.

Tyler got up and spoke to her parents. “I know you just got here, but could you give us a few minutes?”

“Sure, we’ll go grab a coffee,” her father said.

He lifted Jayden into his arms and walked to Jenna’s bed. “Jayden, don’t you want to see Mommy?”

His little head bobbed, and he peeked at Jenna from behind the flowers before hiding his face again.

“It’s okay, honey. Are you feeling afraid?” Jenna asked.

He nodded and finally looked at her. “Mommy, are you going to die?”

“No, Jayden, I’m not going anywhere. Why would you think that?”

“Because last time you said you were dead.”

She laughed humorlessly at her stupidity. “I did, and I’m sorry. Mommy was overwhelmed and a little afraid at the time, but I was never dead, Jayden, and I shouldn’t have said so.” She felt terrible. What kind of mother put her child through so much trauma? It was unspeakable. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Mommy.” Jayden leaped into her arms and cuddled close, and the flowers he held were in her face, but she didn’t mind. “When are you coming home?”

“Soon, baby, I promise.” She took the flowers he offered and put them next to her bed. “Thank you, they’re beautiful, and I feel so much better already, especially having you here with me. I love you, Monkey.” She had to make it up to him and was now determined more than ever to go home.

Her father poked his head in the doorway to make sure the coast was clear. “Did we come at a bad time?”

“Perfect timing, come on in.” Tyler got up to socialize across the room with her parents, giving Jenna and Jayden some much-needed bonding time. Visiting hours came to an end way too soon, and nobody but Jenna thought it was good that Jayden stay with her through the night. She couldn’t help but be selfish, though.

Jayden cried and clung to her. “No, I want to stay with Mommy.”

She needed to reassure him before he left, but her mother acted too fast and tried to take him away. “Give me a minute,” Jenna snapped. “Everyone out, please, I need a few minutes with my son, and I would appreciate the privacy.”

Ignoring their protests, she concentrated on calming him. “Jayden, I need you to know that Mommy isn’t going anywhere. Do you understand? I need you to know that you can come see me anytime now that I’m feeling better, and I need you to understand that I’m going to be coming home soon. So I don’t want you to be afraid, because there is no reason to be. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Okay?”

“But why can’t I stay?” he whined, and it made her laugh.

“Because it’s almost bedtime, and Grandma needs you to stay with her right now. She loves when she visits you, and she knows I’ll be coming home soon. When that happens, Grandma and Poppa will be going back to Cornwall.”

“But it’s not the same when Grandma puts me to bed. She doesn’t tell me any good stories, and when she tries she never says them right.”

She laughed again and tried to picture it. “Okay, my tired boy, I will tell you your bedtime story tonight if you promise me that you’re going to be brave for me. After the story, you’ll have to go back with Grandma for the night, and I’ll see you in the morning. So remember the faster you go to sleep, the faster we’ll see each other again. Okay?”

He nodded.

She stuck to one of his favorite stories and sighed when it worked because it didn’t take long for Jayden to fall asleep beside her.

Tyler walked in on an already sleeping boy. “Are you ready to part with him until tomorrow?”

She nodded. “I don’t think he’ll be putting up much of a fight anymore.”

“I’m not surprised.” Tyler chuckled. “It was quite a day, and he always felt safest with you.”

“Momma’s boy,” she whispered with more confidence than earlier. She just had to make up for scaring him so badly. She watched as her Tyler picked up their son and left.

Tyler chuckled when he returned a few minutes later. “I was impressed, by the way,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen your mother speechless before.”

“It wasn’t my intention to upset her.” The last thing she needed was more guilt. “It’s just that Jayden has a fear of losing me, and I needed a few more minutes to calm him down.”

“I understand why you did it, Jenna, and you don’t’ have to justify yourself. I honestly thought your mother would’ve known better than to try to come between you and your son. Hell, I even know better than that.”

She laughed at his teasing tone. “What can I say? He’s the love of my life.”

“Well, I hope that I’m still on that list,” he said while walking toward the bed and sitting down.

She cradled his face to bring him closer. “Of course,” she whispered, and her heart raced as she brushed her mouth against his. His lips were full, delectable, and waiting for her to taste. Her lips moved and re-explored the lips she never thought she’d touch again. Their tongues caressed in perfect synchronization, and his erection pressed against her side, aching for release. She pulled away. It had been way too long without Tyler’s touch, but unfortunately for them both now just wasn’t the time for anything more.

It wasn’t until two weeks later that Jenna happily saw the hospital fading in the background as they drove away. She was on her way home, and there was no sweeter feeling than to be free again. She missed her life.