Bittersweet (12 page)

Chapter Fifteen

The honeymoon phase didn’t last very long. As Jenna had suspected, Tyler became absorbed in his work. Soon, it was back to the “barely ever seeing him again” routine that really sucked. Jayden adored school, and she absorbed as much time with him as possible while he was home to fill the void.

She’d just dropped Jayden off when Sam knocked. “Hey, stranger, how about that much-needed talk?” she said when Jenna opened the door.

Jenna hadn’t seen Sam since the day she’d come home from the hospital. The truth was, she was almost afraid to after her strange questions, knowing Sam would want an explanation of the conversation they’d had that day. Jenna didn’t think she could give one that wouldn’t make Sam think she was crazy. God knew she wasn’t too sure she wasn’t. Jenna nodded reluctantly and followed Sam into her living room.

“I’ve been waiting to speak with you,” Sam said as she joined her on the couch. “Now, do you mind telling me why you’re giving me the cold shoulder?”              

“I’m sorry.”

“Well, did I do something wrong? First you ask me all of these weird questions, while making me promise to keep them to myself, and now you’re avoiding me like I have an incurable and contagious disease. So enlighten me, please, and tell me what the hell is up with you?”

She started to cry. “You’re going to think I’m crazy. Those questions I asked are the reason I’ve been so horrible.” Jenna had truly thought she’d gone insane for a while and was terrified someone else would too, especially the people she cared about. But now Sam was here, she might as well get it over with. “I’ve been having some really strange dreams since the accident, and they’re scaring me a little.”

“Dreams?” She laughed. “And here I thought you were avoiding me because I did something wrong. This is actually about nothing more than some weird dreams that are freaking you out?”

“I know, Sam. I told you it was crazy. They started when I was in a coma, but the weird thing is that they seem so real. In the hospital I was convinced Tyler was dead, because I could swear I’d lived over a year without him. After I’d struggled to cope with his loss, you forced me to go on this trip to Ireland with you to find myself again. You just wouldn’t give up pushing me to move on. When we were there we met people.” She took a deep breath. “Caleb and Brady, and long story short, I fell in love again. He was amazing. It was like gravity didn’t exist when I was with him. This unknown magnetic force seemed to pull the two of us together, and I had no control. When he touched me, or looked at me, or when we made love, a spark ignited, and I’ve never had that before. We were perfect for each other.”

She laughed at herself. “Honestly, he wasn’t the type of guy I’d ever thought of falling for. He was gorgeous, of course, but also quite experienced with women, never settling down with one for too long. Normally that would be a major turnoff, but there was just something about him that made me feel like we were meant to be together. It’s hard to explain it properly.”

Sam finally smiled. “Incredible. So are you trying to tell me that you’re in love with this man you’ve dreamed about since the accident?”

Jenna nodded and felt foolish. She worried Sam might suggest having her committed. “I asked you those questions because I was trying to make sense of it all. I needed to find some reason for what I dreamed. I swear it was so real to me that when Tyler walked into the hospital room when I woke up, I freaked out. I was so convinced he was dead that I thought I’d died too. Poor Jayden was devastated. It took me a while to convince him I was going to be okay after that. To think I actually put my child through that kind of anguish tears me up inside. It was so horrible that he now has a fear of losing me.”

“Jenna, I’m not sure what to say to make you feel better, but I’m here for you. Have you talked to anyone else about this?”

“Like I said earlier, they’d probably think I’ve gone loco,” she whispered. “It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve had one of those dreams. All of them seem to doom Tyler and me, no matter what. I love Tyler and hate to think I’m going to lose him, Sam. He’s my husband, the father of my child, and I can’t picture life without him in it.”

“Was he dead again?”

“No.” Jenna grimaced to suppress a groan. Tyler had immediately asked her the same thing as soon as she mentioned her unpleasant dream. “He cheated on me with some gorgeous blonde at his office. I stood there and watched while it happened. The weirdest part was that Brady came back to me afterward. He said that I was seeing these things because they were meant to be. They feel so real too, and it scares me because if they are, that means Tyler either ends up dead or with someone else. I’m so confused, and I can’t understand what’s going on.” She tried to smile with false bravado. “I’ll say it again. I think I’ve gone bat-shit crazy over here. I have a great husband whom I love and adore, who’s been one of my best friends for as long as I can remember, and here I am also in love with this other person I’ve only seen in my dreams. Someone I’m not even sure exists.”

“So now we just have to figure things out,” Sam said. “Maybe they’re not just dreams. Think about it. Maybe they’re possible futures, like a second sight.”

“What? No way.”

Sam seemed to be excited by the possibility while the thought gave Jenna the willies.

“Come on, Jenna, have you ever had dreams before that came true? I knew someone who had premonitions once. It was absolutely amazing. Are there any strange coincidences in the dreams you’re having?”

She nodded. “Brady is in all of them.” Thinking about it, she added, “And Tyler does work with this one pretty blonde. In fact, he seems to get defensive whenever I ask about her, like he’s hiding something.” But how could she test this theory? A lightbulb in her mind clicked on. “Maybe I’m just overreacting, but I think I may be able to test your idea. You were a big part of my dream, if it actually was what you think. We went to Ireland together, after all.”

Jenna smiled with eagerness. Sam’s guess was all she had to go by at the moment, and it was worth a shot. “Tell me something. Does the name Antonio mean anything to you?”

Sam went still, and all of the color faded from her face.

“In my dream you told me about a man named Antonio. He was your husband, and you met in Italy. Your visa expired, and long story short, he came here to be with you, but he got really sick and died not long after you married him.”

Sam started to cry. “Close,” she whispered, “but not quite. I’ve never been married, but he was my first love, and he did leave me.”

“I’m sorry. It must still be hard for you.”

“Not so much anymore,” she admitted and wiped her face. “What’s freaking me out is that you knew his name. I haven’t talked about him in years, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never mentioned him to you before.”

Jenna smiled. “Do you think—” Sam nodded in agreement before she could even finish. “Oh, great,” Jenna cried. “So now I have an uncertain future that guarantees, love, loss, and unpredictability. Only I can see these things before they actually happen.”

“Premonitions are forewarnings of something that may happen before it actually does, without having any concrete evidence to back it up. The future is not set in stone, Jenna, and the possibilities could easily change at any time. Try not to panic and we’ll see how it all plays out.”

***

At ten o’clock, Jenna was bored out of her mind, and Tyler still wasn’t home. He’d called earlier and told her he was still swamped at work and not to wait up. She sighed heavily and grabbed a book before getting comfortable for the night.

She was standing in an open space she didn’t recognize and turned around in a circle to figure out where she was. She could see a small cottage ahead and went to investigate.

She opened the wooden door and sensed someone was close by. It was a cozy little place with only one bedroom and a lit fireplace in the center of the far wall. Freshly cut flowers filled little vases set around the whole place and left an enchanting aroma. She was barefoot and moved her toes on the soft surface beneath them. A tiny trail of rose petals led to the small room ahead of her.

“Hello?” she called out, but there was no answer. Moving forward, she followed the trail and opened the door to what she assumed was the bedroom. “Hello?”

The door shut behind her, and she startled when she heard him chuckle. His arms wrapped around her, and he moved her hair from her nape so that she could feel his lips marking her there.

“I missed ye, Jenna. Ye’r fighting it, love, and I really wish ye wouldn’t.”

She started to cry and turned around to face him. “Then what do you suggest? I’m a married woman, Brady, and I’m not even sure you’re real anymore.”

He laughed quietly and pulled her forward so they were breast to chest. “I am real,” he said and took her hand. “And we will eventually meet.”

Before she could respond, he kissed her eagerly. Her heartbeat picked up, and the butterflies returned to her stomach and wanted to jump up to her throat while he moved her toward the bed. She gave in to his every need. Because damn it, it felt so right and she missed him like crazy.

When they’d finished making love, her eyes widened as the sheet over her stomach swelled into a large bump. “What’s happening?” she asked, freaking out while he just looked at her with a smile.

“Oh my God!” Jenna squeaked and jumped out of bed to take a closer look in the mirror.

Brady followed and placed his hands on her huge belly.

“Ye’r pregnant, me love.” He continued to rub at the huge bump that hadn’t been there a minute ago.

“Impossible,” she mumbled in astonishment, but then she laughed in joy while putting her hands on top of his.

“I know how much ye wanted this.”

“Ah,” Jenna cried in agony and hunched over. Sharp and unbelievably painful cramps twisted through her. “What’s going on?” she cried. “Ah, please make it stop!”

“I’m sorry love, I had no idea.” Brady said in sorrow.

A lot of blood gushed out from between her legs, and she continued to cry out in agony while Brady held her close. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered again, and she felt herself weaken before the blackness took her away.

Jenna sat up quickly in a cold sweat and began to cry.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Tyler was finally home, and she leaped into the safety of his arms.

“Are you all right?”

She nodded. “I guess I just missed you.” She trembled in his arms, but Tyler didn’t push her to reveal more. The dreams were so bittersweet, and she still wasn’t sure what to make of them.

The remainder of the night was long. She’d been restless and afraid to fall back asleep. So she settled on watching Tyler sleep peacefully instead and slipped out before he woke up.

“Good morning.” Her husband reached across her for the coffeepot when he joined her in the kitchen. “You look tired. Maybe you should try to get a little more sleep before Jayden wakes up.”

She rolled her eyes. “Thanks,” she whispered sarcastically. “I just love when people say that. Telling someone they look tired is just a polite way of telling them that they look like shit.”

Tyler made a funny face and they both laughed. Okay, she would’ve been the first to admit she was testy after the sleep she’d had, or lack thereof.

“Don’t be silly. You look beautiful,” he whispered next to her ear. He placed a kiss on her cheek and sighed before stepping away.

“Sure, I do.” She rolled her eyes. “But I love you that much more for saying so.”

A few hours later, Jenna had just returned from dropping Jayden off at school when she saw Sam walking toward the house. Giving up on the idea of a nap, she smiled and waved. It was nice talking to Sam again and an even bigger relief to talk to someone about the weirdness that her life had become.

“Hey, neighbor. Okay, what’s the matter? You look horrible.”

Jenna laughed as she led her inside. Leave it to Sam to tell it like it is. “I didn’t get much sleep. I had another dream, and I was afraid they’d keep coming. But it’s nothing a lot of coffee won’t cure.”

“Or more sleep,” Sam grumbled. “You need to take care of yourself better than this.”

Jenna smiled and plopped heavily onto the couch. “Yes, Mom.”

Sam walked away with a roll of her eyes before calling back, “I’ll get the coffee. You need to get comfortable.”

Jenna must have been more tired than she suspected because that was the last thing she remembered of that visit. It felt like minutes, instead of hours, before she woke just in time to get Jayden from school.

Chapter Sixteen

“Hello, Ms. Baker, what can I do for you today?” her doctor asked.

She’d just arrived at the clinic because she’d been feeling under the weather for the last couple days and couldn’t take it any longer. “I’m nauseated and throwing up. I also have heartburn all the time and terrible headaches. So I was wondering if you could maybe prescribe something, anything at all, to make this go away, please.”

“I’ll see what I can do for you.” After a quick examination, the doctor told her, “Well, Ms. Baker, unfortunately all that I can do at this point is recommend some rest, maybe a bottle of Tums, or better yet some Pepto-Bismol and plenty of fluids.”

“Pepto? Are you serious? Good God,” she whined. “I feel terrible.”

“They sound like common flu symptoms, but there could be other possibilities. Let me run a few tests and come back and see me next week for the results. Hopefully, by then you’ll feel better. If not, we’ll have a few more answers, all right?”

After patting her thigh, the doctor stood, and dismissed Jenna, who didn’t feel a bit better. Within ten minutes she was out of the office and on her way to Jayden’s school. Two months had passed since Tyler had returned to work full time. Christmas was getting closer, and Jenna had decided to volunteer in her son’s class to fill her time. She was getting pretty lonely around the house, and she needed the distraction. The last thing she needed, however, was to get sick. She tried to think of happier things, like the new camcorder she’d bought for Jayden’s Christmas recital.

Begging for Tyler’s attention had become a daily ritual, as had pleading with him not to neglect important events in their son’s life. Tyler’s hours at work only seemed to become longer, to the point where he wasn’t home by the time she fell asleep at night and was gone before she woke up. Some mornings she could have sworn he hadn’t bothered to come home at all. The worst thing was she couldn’t understand why. What could have possibly gotten so bad at work that he couldn’t get home for dinner?

That night when he called to tell her he’d be late again, they had a familiar conversation.

“Jayden’s recital is on the seventeenth at seven p.m.,” she said.

“Geez, Jenna, give it a rest. I’ll be there, okay?”

“Right,” she snorted. “Like when you’re home for dinner or before I go to bed. Like when you make it to your son’s hockey tournament or to even just spend time with him. I mean it, Tyler, this recital is important to Jayden, and you’d better be there.”

She hung up on him because she was too angry to continue. Truthfully, the camcorder was her backup, so Jayden would know his father would be able to see him perform should Tyler not be able to come. It was the only thing she could do for Jayden. There had been too many disappointments lately, and she was beginning to doubt Tyler’s word. Still, she’d kept her fingers crossed, for Jayden’s sake. Her heart was breaking for them both.

***

Her nausea was back, and she had a horrible headache, so she’d been sent home early from volunteering. “Oh my God!” She clutched her chest and waited for her heart rate to slow down. “It is you. I couldn’t believe it when I saw your car as I pulled in.” She took off her coat and hung it up.

Tyler only gave her a quick glance and became absorbed in reading the file in front of him.

“Hi,” she whispered and moved to sit beside him. “Although it’s unexpected, it’s nice to actually see you here. Have you decided to take a day off?”

“I guess you could call it that. I’ve got an extra workload ahead of me for the next few weeks. There are people going on vacation, a couple new cases, and a lot of extra paperwork. I thought I’d give myself a change of scenery. So I took some work home.”

She rolled her eyes and tried to stifle her anger. He worked all the damn time. “Vacation, huh? Must be nice.” He had some vacation days accumulated—quite a few, actually—and she was still bitter that he hadn’t taken any.

“Jenna, don’t start.”

“Hey, Tyler,” a voice called. “I hope you don’t mind, but I helped myself to a beverage. Beer?”

Tyler stood to grab the drink held out to him while Jenna eyed the blonde beauty in the thick glasses who’d walked out of her kitchen.
What the hell?
Clearing her throat, Jenna also stood and stretched out her hand. “I didn’t realize Tyler had brought some company home. I’m Jenna, and you are?”

“Alex Reid. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Jenna could tell the pleasantries were not sincere. Alex had given Jenna an icy look from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. Oh yeah, this woman was definitely hot for Tyler. The question was, did Tyler reciprocate those feelings? His late-night office hours, his avoidance, and the dream…But except for the dreams, those things had been there before the crash as well. Dream aside, Tyler was a workaholic and always had been. Did she really have enough evidence to assume?

Tyler cleared his throat. “Yes, well, Alex and I are working together again, but we were just about to wrap up early today.”

“Yep, right after this drink, I’ll be heading off.” Alex scooted past Jenna toward the sofa and sat in the same spot Jenna had been in only moments before. “I’m afraid there’ll be a few more late nights coming up. I hope you don’t mind sharing him?”

She laughed as Jenna narrowed her eyes, looking first at Tyler and then at Alex.
I hope you don’t mind sharing him.
She wanted to puke. Was Alex the bimbo from the dream? One thing was for sure, Jenna didn’t like her.
Snarky, stuck-up bitch. Just who does she think she is?

Tyler smiled as he cleared away his paperwork. It didn’t last.

“Yes, well, sharing him would imply that I have him to begin with. He’s at work all the time, but I’m sure you knew that, don’t you? A few more late nights, what’s the difference? It doesn’t change anything. Does it, Tyler?” He was shocked speechless. “Just don’t miss the night of the seventeenth, please?”

Alex seemed to have been affected the same way, except her shock shortly turned into complete satisfaction. “Yes, well.” She reached for Tyler’s hand. “I guess I’d better get going, then.”

Tyler stood and immediately pulled away from her. “Right, I’ll see you around.”

“What was that?” he demanded when the coast was clear. “God, Jenna, I have to work with her. The least you can do is show her some respect.”

“Respect? Are you kidding me? That woman is rude and, I might add, has the hots for you. I’m only speaking the truth, and I’m sorry, but I refuse to respect a woman that was clearly trying to bait me into a confrontation with you. Looks like she’s succeeded, huh?”

“Jenna,” he groaned.

“Oh don’t you fucking dare. Just save it, Tyler.” She sat down, staring blankly ahead. It had been weeks since he’d touched her. Could Tyler have been dumb enough to cheat on her, and could she forgive him if he had? She was starting to believe Sam’s theory more and more, secretly wishing the problems would all just go away. She didn’t need this shit. In fact, she would have preferred not knowing at all.

“Why are you crying?”

Was she?

She didn’t answer and drilled into him again. “Tell me something. Is there anything going on with Alex? Because if you’re as smart as I think you are, you’d tell me right now if you are sleeping with her.”

“I can’t believe you’re asking me this. Have I given you reason to doubt me?” He traced the bottom of her jaw and lifted her chin with his index finger and thumb so they were looking into each other’s eyes.

“That’s not an answer,” she yelled. “I hate thinking this way. I love you, Tyler, but I can’t help but notice how awkward it was having her here. You work a lot of late hours, and she happens to work with you. Were you even going to mention to me that you were working together again? We don’t have sex anymore, and we argue all the time. Half of the time, it doesn’t make sense why you stay away like you do, and it makes me wonder. When I was in the hospital and you brought her up, you became defensive. I could tell that you were keeping something from me, but I let it go. This time I want an answer.”

“Of course not, Jenna. There, you have my answer. Now about me not touching you…” He sat on the couch and pulled her onto his lap to straddle him. His lips moved across her throat, and his voice beside her ear became hoarse. “Well, I am now.”

His hand traveled to her nape to draw her closer, and his tongue stroked in and out of her mouth while swirling against hers. Before she knew it, her shirt was off and her bra unhooked. Tyler was a pro at undressing, both her and himself. As soon as they were naked, he wasted no time and slid right inside her in one smooth stroke.

The anger seemed to drive her, and her actions were more aggressive than usual as she thrust to meet his demands. Disappointingly, his climax came immediately. He pumped slowly after his seed had spilled into her heated core and began to stroke her. “Come for me,” he whispered. “I want to feel you pulse.”

She arched her hips forward, clasping his broad shoulders. “Yes,” she moaned as she rushed through her own release. “Yesss.”

***

“Mrs. Baker is my mother-in-law. Please, call me Jenna, I insist.”

“All right, Jenna. Well, the good news is that I know exactly what’s wrong. Or maybe what’s right, depending on how you look at it. I’m afraid your earlier symptoms may stay with you for a while. How are you feeling today?”

“What are you implying?” Jenna was getting frustrated with her physician. This was her health, not some silly game, and she didn’t appreciate being left in the dark any longer. “Is there something wrong?”

“I hope not.” He took a deep breath. “Congratulations are in order Mrs.—Jenna. You’re expecting.”

Out of instinct, Jenna wrapped her arms around her midsection. “Pregnant,” she whispered in shock. “Seriously?”

Although they’d discussed, briefly, having another child months before, she wasn’t sure how Tyler would react to the news now that he was back to ignoring her again. They’d made love a week ago, if you could call it that. He came too fast, and she was left disappointed and wishing it could have lasted longer.

Alone with her thoughts, she sighed loudly and prayed they would make it through everything okay.

***

It was the night of Jayden’s recital and time had run out. Her parents paced the living room while Jenna watched the minute hand inch closer to the deadline.

“Should we assume that Tyler will meet us there?” her dad asked sympathetically. He knew how important this night was to Jayden and could probably see the heartbreak in her eyes.

Jenna nodded and knelt down to Jayden’s level. She placed her hands on his shoulders and tried to comfort him. “Don’t worry, Jayden. I’m sure Dad will be there. He said he would, and it’s still not too late.”

Jayden silently nodded, and his disappointment was evident when ran to hug his grandfather’s legs and hid his face.

She’d tried Tyler’s office and cell several times after they’d arrived. Jayden’s class was one of the last to perform, but Tyler still wasn’t there. The empty chair beside her was distracting, and her mother kept looking at her in sympathy. She tried to smile and hated feeling as though they pitied her.

When the time came for Jayden’s class to perform, her son was priceless, while Jenna was too emotional. She laughed so hard that she cried as Jayden’s voice carried through the whole gymnasium. Was he singing or yelling? He was so cute.

“You were amazing, Jayden, and we have it all on tape,” she told him after with a hug. “We’ll show Dad later, and I’m sure he’s sorry that he missed out, baby.”

Later at home she replayed the recital over and over again. Her parents retired to the guest room shortly after Jayden drifted off to sleep while she waited for Tyler to return. It had been an emotional night. An hour or so later, Jenna paused the DVD player and rubbed her eyes, feeling tired herself.

She walked out of the doctor’s office with a smile and rubbed her visibly pregnant stomach
.
She had the strangest craving for ice cream and pickles. As she got into the car, a bag appeared right out of thin air with exactly what she wanted inside. Before driving off, she stuck her hand in the jar to grab a pickle and dipped it in the tub of chocolate ice cream with satisfaction.

In an instant, she was home and could see Tyler’s car in the driveway. She smiled at the surprise of having him home during the middle of the day.

The house seemed empty, so she started walking around to look for him. Just as she was about to call out his name, she heard noises upstairs and went to investigate.

The door to their bedroom was open a crack and she couldn’t see clearly through it, so she pushed it open, only to find him with Alex again.

God, she was so stupid. Her instincts had told her something was going on. He’d lied and she was too angry this time to cry. “Get out!”