Big is Beautiful (4 page)

Fat chance… Big made a fat joke. Hilarious.

He took a few minutes explaining all about the Pythagorean Theorem, and I took the next few minutes being utterly confused. You'd think I wouldn't be. Anybody could do "
a"
squared plus"
b"
squared equals
"c"
squared.
I got it in theory, but I couldn't get it to work out on paper, especially when it came to congruent triangles and then trying to find the side of a second triangle similar to the first. My brain was mush.

Smiling, Matt never lost patience with me, even though I had a while ago. He took my notebook paper and started drawing out these things until finally…
finally
… it clicked!

"Right!" His eyes were wide, and a silly grin pulled his lips. "See? You got it."

Whoa! What happened? "For now."

He cocked his head to the side and lowered his voice. "Don't. Don't do that to yourself."

"Do what?"

"Talk down. Don't. You can do this. It'll just take some time to get it down pat."

Part of me was still stinging from his 'don't be down on yourself' speech. I wasn't always down on myself. Sure, I made a lot of fat jokes in my head, but as long as I did them first before anyone else could, it didn't hurt as much. And besides, who was Matt to tell me how to feel or what to say?

"Time I have." Wow, that sounded pathetic. "I mean. I don't have a lot to do after school now besides homework."

"I know the feeling. I missed football and got so bored I decided to sign up to be a tutor."

I snickered. "You must have been pretty bored to volunteer to do this."

His dimple sparkled. "It's not all about being bored, Brittany."

"It's not?" I expected, or hoped, that he would say he did it so he could get close to people like me. Plus, he called me Brittany, not Big or 'Hey, you, move.' It sounded nice to have someone use my God-given name. Wished more people would.

"No, it looks really good on college transcripts."

Well, didn't that just burst my bubble? I was a checkmark on a college transcript. I wasn't entirely sure why that bothered me.

I guess my face fell because he looked at me and stuttered a bit. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like… that. I like to help. I like volunteering."

"And it looks good on your transcript," I teased.

"Well… yeah." He ran his fingers thought his messy hair and leaned his elbow on Ms. Bennett's tall desk beside him.

I liked looking good, even if only on a college transcript.

We stopped talking. I guessed neither of us knew what else to say. He looked at me. I looked at the clock. Five more minutes. My homework was done, thankfully. I might even pass it this time. A feat for me!

"I guess I'll go ahead and go. My mom might get here early." I put my book in my backpack and zipped it up. Standing, I slipped on my once awesome coat and zipped it up.

Matt watched my fingers go from the top of the zipper to the bottom hem. As far as I knew, no guy had ever scanned me like that. Possibly Eric Young in freshman year, but he was creepy. My breath caught, and I had to remind myself to breathe. He was a guy. He had eyes. Eyes roamed, even over larger people like me. He motioned to the side of my coat. "Fight?"

"With the marker holder." I pointed to the evil metal tray next to the door.

"Bummer. It's a pretty coat."

I hadn't been expecting that. "It used to be. Hanging on a rack. Now I just look like a movie marshmallow man after a bad night."

"Who said it made you look like that?"

"You know… never mind. It's not important."

He stood and blocked my way before I could leave. "Who?"

Ugh, I so didn't want to get into it. What did it matter?

"Who?" he asked again, clearly not giving up.

"Kendra."

He shook his head. "Don't listen to anything Kendra has to say. She only thinks she has good taste." Matt reached up and fixed the collar of my coat. I'd never had a guy that close to me, and again, I had to remember to breathe. "Don't listen to her. Ever."

"But she speaks so loud."

He laughed and backed up out of my personal space. I felt like I could take a big breath again. "That she does." He leaned against the desk he'd been sitting at and crossed his arms over his chest. "When Ms. Bennett asked me if I knew you, I didn't elaborate. Kendra used to talk about you all the time when we dated."

That couldn't be good. "I bet she did. Only I bet she never called me Brittany."

"How could you guess?"

"I know Kendra." Too well.

"I got tired of hearing it so I…" He trailed off and looked at the floor.

I what? I what!

"Anyway, it's not right to make fun of another person, especially about their weight." His voice had enough passion in it to make me question why. Why would he care about bigger people being mocked?

I shrugged. "It's the way of the world. Can't change it."

"Who says?" His smile made me smile. We sure were getting friendly for people who had just met.

The hand on the clock neared five after four, and I knew my mom would be hunting me down soon. I threw my pack over my shoulder and walked past him to the door. Turning around, I noticed he hadn't moved, but his face seemed hard and he stared at the floor like he was deep in thought. I could only imagine it had to do with how passionate he became about people being made fun of. From what I knew of Matt, he'd always been the popular guy, and his older sister was cheer captain before graduating and passing the job to Kendra. Neither had anything or any flaw to be mocked about.

"See ya tomorrow."

He broke his blank stare and smiled up at me. "See ya." Then he stopped me with a question I never saw coming. "Why does Kendra call you Big?"

I turned on my heel, raised my brow, and ran my hand up and down the outline of my body. "Isn't it obvious?"

He followed my hands and for the second time in ten minutes, checked me out. This wasn't right. "Not really."

My head had the potential to get as big as my butt. "Ha, yeah right."

"It isn't. You aren't that big."

The hot air started to seep out of my bloated head.
"That,"
such an ugly, deflating word. "Well, thanks."

"Big-boned, maybe."

Enough of this conversation. "Okay then. I'm gonna go."

"Don't… ugh." He sounded flabbergasted. That made two of us. "I mean… not plump or big-boned. That was stupid. I meant… Kendra never should have said that about you, and she shouldn't have nicknamed you Big. That's all I'm trying to say, but I'm not the best with words."

"Too bad words aren't math problems." I couldn't help but grin.

"Very true."

I shifted on my feet and thought about walking away. Something needed to be said first, though. "Thanks for saying that. About Kendra."

"It's the truth."

I nodded and turned toward the door. Then I thought why not? He might as well know. I huffed and faced him again. "It took a real act of intellect on Kendra's part to come up with my nickname."

He raised an interested brow like he was fixing to find out who
really
killed Kennedy. It wasn't that big of a national secret. Once he found out my name, he'd understand why. "My birth name was Brittany Isabelle Duke. Duke is my mom's maiden name. I don't know who my biological father is. Anyway, when I was seven, she married Dan Gregory, and he adopted me."

"So you took his last name."

"Yes."

"And that made you Brittany Isabelle Gregory." The light bulb went on.

"That it did. B.I.G. A horrible set of initials for a larger girl to have."

"Could be worse. Your name could be Allison Sarah Smith."

I had to stop a snicker from coming out. It wasn't the most appropriate joke to laugh at. "Never thought about it that way. So now you know."

"Now I know. Thanks for telling me. It stinks, though." He grabbed his things and put them in his black backpack.

"Not as much as Allison Sarah Smith." I laughed, full of myself.

"Yeah, that would have stunk pretty badly. Want me to walk you out?"

Did he really just ask me that? Why was he being so nice to me? Was he this nice to everybody? "Um, no, that's okay. I know my mom's probably boiling by now. I'll see you tomorrow and thank you so much for the help."

"You're very welcome, Brittany Isabelle Gregory." He motioned for me to go ahead as he turned off the light and made sure the door was shut behind us.

I'd made it through my first tutoring session alive and with a new friend, or at least, I thought he could be my friend. Perhaps my mom had been right after all. Geometry was handy.

Chapter Four

The sun had nearly gone down when I made it out of the school. Most people liked it when the days got longer but not me. Longer days meant summer was running full throttle around the corner. Summer: bikinis, shorts, non-bulky layers. Fun times for ole Brittany. Maybe I could lose a few pounds before summer. I had about four months. I could lose ten pounds by then easy. Then Kendra would have less of a reason to call me Big. It was definitely something to consider.

Much to my surprise, Matt walked me toward my mom's car even though I told him not to. We chatted about the weather and how it might snow in a few days. Man, I hoped it did. We'd get a snow day, and I'd get a reprieve from tutoring and Kendra. I'd add it to my prayer list before I went to bed.

As I expected, my mom had pulled through the drive in front of the building and parked outside of the small auditorium on the right side. We passed several bare oak trees on the way to her, and I kept wondering when Matt would veer off and go toward the student parking lot. He was seventeen. I knew he drove because I saw him in town with a shiny black four by four. But he kept walking with me, kept talking, kept smiling occasionally.

There had to be something wrong with this picture.

A dark red four-door sedan pulled in a few car lengths behind my mom. A girl I recognized instantly as Lori Taylor, Matt's sister, jumped out and leaned over the top of the car. She didn't look happy. "Hurry up, Matt! I've got things to do besides cart you around."

Matt cut his eyes toward me and flashed one of his dimples. His cheeks were turning rosy, and I didn't think it was from the chilly breeze pushing his hair all over his head. "My ride's here."

"I got that." What I didn't get was why his sister was driving him. Had he rode the bus this morning like I did? Was that why he was on that side of the school when Caleb had pushed me against the wall? I automatically looked down at my scraped up knuckles. Funny how I'd been so focused on geometry and Matt that I hadn't noticed them at all during tutoring.

"Walk faster, Matt. I have to go. I'm gonna be late for work." Lori pushed the strands of chocolate brown hair streaming across her eyes. She looked like I remembered. Beautiful. If I didn't know better, I'd swear her cheekbones had gotten even more pronounced than they had been. Why couldn't I look like her?

Matt looked from Lori to me and shifted on his feet. "My truck's in the shop, so…"

"Oh, you don't have to explain to me."

"It is. I'm not lying."

"I'm not saying you are, just that you don't have to explain to me. It's not like we're friends or anything."

The wind must have hit him hard because his little dimple disappeared. "What? You don't want to be my friend?"

I scoffed. "Like you'd want to be mine?"

He laughed a little, and I took it to mean I was right. "Acquaintances then?"

"Possibly." I smirked and turned toward my mom's car. She hadn't gotten out, but I knew she was watching everything from the rearview mirror. It would be oh so fun to explain why the hunky quarterback was walking me to the car.

"Well, girl I know…" He smiled. "Who may or may not be my acquaintance someday, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See ya tomorrow." I watched him run toward Lori's car. She gave me a very short wave and hopped in the car before Matt got there.

I stood there, frozen in my tracks. When I was a freshman, Lori Taylor had been my idol. I loved seeing her clothes choices, her hair style. She had been the girl I looked up to, admired, envied, and yes, wanted to be. After she graduated, I got stuck with Kendra… lovable Kendra.

In her high school years, Lori had never talked to me, nodded, or even waved. And here she was… waving. Add it to the list of remarkable things that had happened today. I should probably persuade my mom to buy a lottery ticket. I felt lucky.

After Matt got in the passenger's side, he threw up his hand in a wave as the car drove off.

Shut the front door
.

When my legs started moving again, I made my way through the soggy ground to my mom's waiting car. Her car was a simple light green hatchback with two doors and dark gray fabric seats. She kept it very nice and clean, though. My dad promised to take her out car shopping when he got back into town. I hoped they would save the hatchback for me.

I got in and instantly felt her eyes on me. I didn't have to look to feel the sparkle in them. Oh yeah, she'd totally noticed the cute guy. "So…"

Here it came.

"How was tutoring?"

I dragged out putting my seat belt on longer than I had to. She made me go to tutoring; I thought it only right to drag her anticipation out. An eye for an eye as it were. "Fine."

"Fine? That's it?" She pulled the car to the stop sign and looked both ways. A few seconds later, we were out on the street headed home.

"That's it."

She took a second to peek at me and back to the road. "So you're not going to tell me about the cutie walking with you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Laugher sputtered out of me at the expression on my mom's face.

"Ha. Funny. Make mom pay for signing you up for tutoring, huh?"

"May-be." I dragged it out just to annoy the lady who forced me into tutoring in the first place.

"And
may
-be you should spill. I'm dying here."

I sighed overdramatically and put my bag on the floor between my knees. "It went very well. How's that?"