Between Hope & the Highway (38 page)

Memories hit me like bricks as I recalled witnessing his father beating him through a window of his trailer in junior high. I hung my head. Mr. Hollis had been the scum of the earth…and I was exactly like him.

“You need to get help, man. You’re jacked up and not thinking straight.” I squeezed my eyes to relieve the pressure building in my head. “I don’t know who you are anymore. You scare the hell out of me.”

As he began to weep, I fled into the raunchy bathroom. Mold grew behind the back of the ancient toilet, and the room reeked of urine and vomit. Lowering the cracked toilet lid, I sat and buried my head in my hands. Regret battered me as I called up the past. Everything was my fault. I’d been the mastermind behind obtaining the fake I.D.’s Damon and I used our junior year. Who knew both of us would take to beer like bears to honey? We were the big men on campus, full of pomp and pride that wouldn’t allow us to admit we had a problem. Both of us blamed our sucky lives on our fathers until the accident revealed our dark secret. Damon was thrown into juvie. My parents threw me into a posh rehab to finish out my senior year. From there I went straight to Stanford.

For six years, I’d kept my vow to stay sober. I owed my family that much. It’d been hard to decline at parties and bars, but I mastered my appetite and desires for my little brother’s sake. Or at least I thought I had. Tonight proved I still harbored a rabid thirst for that which had almost destroyed me.

“My name is Rawson Law, and I’m an alcoholic,” I muttered between my fingers.

Rehab had drilled into me the importance of acknowledging my weakness. Not until meeting Liz, had my daily battle dissipated to some degree. She’d made me laugh and feel hope again. And I repaid her by sending her away in a fit of temper.

My shoulders slumped. Although I hated her attitude toward Damon, she had a point. I was wasting my time. He needed more than a few cases of beers twice a month. My friend needed intervention. I kneaded my forehead, wondering how I could convince Dad to unfreeze my trust fund. Until he did, I didn’t have access to enough cash to admit Damon into rehab. And Dad would never sanction helping him.

When I returned, my friend looked up at me with his battered face and whimpered, “Sorry, man.”

I tended to his wounds and tried to get him into bed since he was slammed. As I pulled a sleeping bag over him, his face scrunched up.

“Thanks for not giving up on me, Roz. You’re the greatest friend ever.”

My stomach churned with guilt, so I hurried outside to sulk on the porch. Greatest friend. Bah! I should be shot for what I did, but I was the oldest son of Bartholomew Law, pillar of the community. Damon was the son of a drunk. It was easier to lay the blame of the accident on him.

I must have dozed. When I awoke, I was frozen solid and my back ached. Glancing at my watch, I texted Seth to see if he could pick me up. At home, I showered and headed to the dining room for breakfast. I gulped when I saw Lizzie and shame filled me. But pride wouldn’t allow me to roll over and beg forgiveness. Humility didn’t come easy to me. Taking my seat beside her, I made small talk with Mom as she flitted in and out of the kitchen. Tension stretched between us as we quietly ate.

As I filled my mouth with cranberry muffin, Lizzie’s hand crept beneath the table to rest on my clenched fist. Startled, I turned to look at her. The vulnerability in her golden brown eyes worked like Kryptonite on me.

I’m sorry,
she mouthed.

Muscles unclenched as I relaxed in my chair. For the last few hours, I’d despaired at the thought of ruining what we had together. Clutching her hand, my lips quivered with gratitude for my sweet, forgiving angel.

After breakfast, I wrapped an arm around her and walked to the arena. “Sorry again for last night. Let me make it up to you. I have a few hours before I have to be back with the herd. Put me to work.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to catch up on sleep? You look beat.”

No wonder. The sleep I’d received at the old homestead with Damon had been anything but restful.

“I don’t want to miss out on anymore time with you.” I brought her hand to my lips. “Again, I’m sorry.”

She lowered her eyes. “Me too. I shouldn’t have said those things.”

“Maybe we can slip in that kiss you owe me.”

The blush that stained her cheeks made her stunning in the morning light. “You have a one track mind.”

She had no idea.

Instead of a hot make out session, she put me to work with a new gelding. I would’ve preferred she not have such a strong work ethic. When it was time to leave, I cornered her by the washing bay.

“I have to go.”

“Thanks for your help.”

“My pleasure.” My gaze dropped to her lips.

Her mouth parted slightly as her breathing hitched. Not breaking my focus, I dropped my hands to her waist and leaned in for much anticipated contact.

A startling crash of metal against wood made us both flinch. I turned to catch Garret looking smug as he knelt to pick up a pile of bits and bridles he’d probably purposely thrown against the wall.

Liz made to escape, but I was sick of Ferret ruining our moments.

“Oh, no you don’t.” I grabbed her by the arm and reeled her back into my embrace. Ignoring her wide-eyed startled deer look, I leaned down and covered her mouth with mine. She felt stiff and rigid, but as my lips plied hers, she gradually relaxed.

Garret cleared his throat behind us, which made Lizzie freeze up again. Before I allowed her to pull back, I nibbled her bottom lip and elicited an audible sigh from deep in her throat.

“That was just a teaser.” I winked as I relinquished my hold on her. “I’ll call you tonight, babe.” Throwing a mock salute to Garret, I headed to the door, saying over my shoulder, “You should get your own girlfriend instead of drooling over mine, Buckwheat.”

Chapter 65

Liz

Kissing had nothing on this. As Rawson nibbled my neck, I closed my eyes and sighed. I hadn’t seen him since our hurried kiss two weeks ago that had left me weak in the knees. But the way he savored my skin now made me weak everywhere. Benny knew the drill and valiantly pretended to ignore us as he watched the movie until the credits rolled up on screen.

He smirked at us before waving goodnight and limping upstairs. As soon as he disappeared, I jumped to my feet. No way would I stay cuddled on the couch alone with Rawson. His bedroom was only ten feet away. Being alone with him was like taunting the devil with smoochie faces and thinking I wouldn’t get a pitchfork in the butt. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him. Well, maybe I didn’t. He was too handsome for his own good, let alone mine.

I heard him chuckle as he caught up to me on the basement stairs. “You in a hurry to hug your pillow?” He took my hand in the darkened stairwell.

“Four a.m. comes fast and furious,” I muttered, trying to ignore how electricity seemed to shoot from my fingertips into my whole body as we climbed the stairs.

“That it does.”

I paused when we reached the landing leading to the upstairs bedrooms. “Are you heading back to the herd tonight or in the morning?”

“Tonight.” He gifted me with a dazzling smile.

I squeezed his fingers. “Well…drive safe.”

“I will, beautiful.”

He tipped my chin, and before I realized what was happening, his mouth closed over mine. I expected the type of kiss he’d given me before—soft, gentle, savoring. But his lips didn’t caress, they plundered and demanded in the sweetest agony I’d ever experienced. The only other time a man had kissed me passionately had been during my engagement to Justin. He’d swept my mouth with his tongue, and I’d pretended to like it, even though it had sort of grossed me out. I’d wondered why movies, books, and friends made such a big deal over that kind of kiss.

Now I knew.

Rawson’s tongue didn’t just sweep; his probed, tangled, and twined with mine in a passionate dance uniting us as one. As his hands wound up my back and into my hair, time ceased to exist. Emotions exploded and shook my entire being. My fingers found their way into his hair, playing in it as I had dreamed. He moaned into my mouth, awakening a ravenous hunger in me I hadn’t known existed. I clutched him tighter and allowed my tongue to mimic his as he deepened the kiss. It felt so incredible. So right. Why had I resisted for so long?

When I pulled back for air, his sexy lips twitched. “Mmmm.” The deep rumble of his voice made me tremble. “Sweet dreams, my love.” He brushed the lightest of kisses across my forehead. “I know I’ll be dreaming of you.”

I swallowed and took several breaths, literally too tongue-tied to speak.

As he chuckled, I turned and raced up the stairs. In the safety of my room, I slumped against my door and melted into a pile of mush. Touching my tender lips, I banged my head against the door. What had I done? And why did I so badly want to scramble back down the stairs and do it again? What had happened to the careful girl who had determined not to lose her heart?

I hid my face in my hands and groaned.

So much for avoiding crashing on the highway of heartbreak. Instead of using caution and slowing down, I’d tripled my speed toward the cliff up ahead.

Chapter 66

Rawson

“Are you ready, gorgeous?”

Lizzie blushed and seemed to spot something intriguing on the ground. “Yep.”

I stifled a smile. Even after almost six weeks of kissing, she still became adorably flustered in my presence. Of course, since calving season was in full swing, I could count on one hand the number of times we’d spent together. Dad kept loading me with more responsibility than one man could handle.

Helping her into my truck, my body buzzed as I considered the evening ahead. I definitely liked kissing my girl but hoped we could push our relationship further. Climbing into my seat, I raised a skeptical brow at the way Lizzie hugged the passenger door.

“I don’t bite…hard.”

She giggled, but didn’t move. “You’re driving. I don’t want to distract you.”

“Too late. You’re alive and sitting in my truck.” Just her scent distracted me, let alone that clingy white blouse she wore. I patted the middle seat. “If you don’t scoot your fine behind over, then
I
will…and I assure you that me driving from the middle seat will be a whole lot more distracting than if you sit there.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, all right. You win this round, birthday boy.”

I grinned and pressed the gas as she slid closer. Thank the good Lord for birthdays…and moms who coerced their husbands into giving their son the day off to celebrate his. Liz still had to work, but I’d spent the morning helping her, and besides putting up with that Florida ferret, it’d been enjoyable. Much easier than working cattle.

Leaning over, I pecked her cheek.

“Keep your eyes on the road. There’s a tight turn ahead.”

“Relax, babe. I could drive this in my sleep. Probably have at one point.”

“That’s not funny.”

When we reached the canyon and began the descent, Liz wrung her slender hands at each hairpin curve. She became a nervous Nellie on curvy back roads. At the bottom of the ravine, she let out the breath she’d been holding as I parked by a grove of aspens.

“Oooo,” she sighed as she gazed at the golden orange sunset, “it’s breathtaking.”

“So are you.”

She scoffed, but knew better than to voice a rebuttal. I considered making her play the
Love Triangle
game anyway, but didn’t want to delay. This first part of the date would be better in the waning light.

A breeze nipped my cheeks as I helped her from my truck. The April weather couldn’t be more perfect for what I had planned. With our jackets, we’d be comfortable, and when it cooled at night, snuggling would be essential.

Taking her arm in mine, I led her through thick pines to a clearing where I’d set up a table for two earlier beneath the cliff backdrop. When she noticed the white-clothed table and battery-lit candles flickering in the shadows, she turned to me and grinned. Pulling out a chair, I motioned for her to sit.

“I’m impressed.”

I winked. “You’ll find I’m full of surprises.”

Her lips quirked. “This is perfect.”

“So are you.”

Crimson marked her lovely cheeks and neck.

Lifting the lid from Mom’s silver platter, I revealed a decadent cheesecake she’d graciously made for my special night. As I picked up a knife to slice a piece, Lizzie reached out to stop me.

“I need to sing to you first.”

“Really? You’d do that for me?”

“Of course,” she giggled.

As she sang
Happy Birthday
, I felt giddy. She had a nice voice, but purposely slaughtered a few notes to make me laugh. When she belted out “And many more…on Channel 24,” I clapped and hooted.

“That was awesome! Thank you.”

She retrieved gifts from her satchel and pushed them across the table.