Beginnings (7 page)

Chapter 9

I took a deep breath and knocked on Haley’s door.

“Yeah?”

Here goes
. My hand hesitated as it reached for the knob.

“Just play it cool.” Adam must have noticed my unease, “If you act like it's no big deal she will think it's no big deal.”

Easy for him to say, he wasn't the one having to lie to his cousin so she'd cover for him.

I walked into her room and shut the door. She looked puzzled to see me there. I guess it was strange. Usually I was only there to play a prank on her.

“What's up?” She asked with a curious expression.

“I need some advice.”

“From me?”

“Don't look so shocked. When it comes to being a sneaky teenager, you have it nailed.”

She perked up, “Okay, come sit.” She patted her bed, squirming in anticipation.

“I'm going to be gone all day on Saturday and I need a good cover story.”

“Where are you going?”

“Jeremy wants to take me somewhere. It's a surprise.” After we'd digested and discussed the information Jeremy gave us last night, we spent all night and most of the day devising a plan. Adam and I had decided it was best if Haley believed Jeremy and I were a couple, that way when he came to pick me up and drop me home it wouldn’t raise any questions.

“Anna Elizabeth! You lied to me! You
are
seeing Jeremy. I'm shocked. I never thought you could shock me, but that's the fourth time this month.”

“What are the other three?”

“Well, that whole Adam incident,” she gave me an apologetic half smile, “Watching Jeremy kiss you by his car, and you jumping on him at school. You're normally so reserved.”

Adam started cracking up, “If she only knew half the things you and I have done.”

I couldn’t hold back a giggle.

“What's so funny?”

“Nothing.”

“You always do that. Since we were kids. Any time I catch you laughing or looking entertained you brush it off. I used to get so frustrated that you would never let me in.”

I'd never really thought about it like that before. I was so busy having fun with Adam it never occurred to me to try and make an effort with my cousin.

“You should tell her.” Adam walked over and stood next to Haley and looked me straight in the eye, “I think you should tell her the truth.”

I raised my brows up in shock. My mind tried to come up with what he was talking about. No way did he mean
that
secret.

“When this is all over we will be together and I'm going to be with you every second I can. Won't it look strange if all of a sudden I'm over here all the time? If Haley acts like everything is normal and it's not strange that I'm here everyday so will her parents. She has a natural ability to make people see things the way she wants.”

Adam had a point, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to let another person in. I thought back to my past relationship with my cousin and how we always seemed to clash. Could I trust her? The odd thing was I felt like I could.

“What are you staring so intensely at?” Haley asked, shifting her body to see what I was focused on.

“Haley, I'm about to share something with you, but I need to know I can trust you,” I paused to make sure I had her full attention. “It's about what really happened, you know, on
that
day.”

Haley's eyes grew wide, “You're trusting me?” Shock vibrated through her voice and for a brief moment I wondered what our lives would be like if we had had this conversation sooner.

I guess I'm about to find out
.

“Yes, I want to,” there was a hint of doubt in my voice, which I wasn't ashamed of.

“Anna, you can trust me.” A different person formed in front of me. Her features softened and her eyes became warmer. For a brief moment I was staring at my mother. My throat tightened and tears brimmed my lashes. All uncertainty vanished. It became clear that this journey was meant to have her in it.

“I know you remember the imaginary friend I had after my parents death.”

Her head nodded. “Adam,” she whispered, as if she already knew how this story would unfold.

“Yes, Adam,” my eyes darted to him and he gave me a reassuring smile. Why was this so much harder than telling Jeremy? I cleared my throat and continued, “Adam never really left me. It's not in the way you think. I haven't held on to him as a plead for insanity. He never left because he's a real person.”

“I'm not following.”

“He's been with me every day for the past eight years.” Weariness was written all over her face and I knew I was losing her.
How do I say it without sounding crazy?
“I'm not sure how to explain this properly. Let me start over.” I took a long, deep breath, “I was lost after my parents died. I shut off all emotion. The pain was too intense. It was better to feel nothing. The summer we went to the lake I had sunken further into my depression.”

“I know, that's why my parents took us there. They were worried. It had been almost a year and yet you seemed to be getting worse.” She stopped to wipe the tears that had fallen, “Oh, Anna, you were so sad all the time. I don't think you smiled once. All my parents seemed to do was worry about you and try to make it better. I actually began to despise you for coming to live with us, a fact I'm not proud of. I should have been a better cousin to you that summer. I wished I had reached out to you.”

“It's okay, I probably would have just pushed you away. Don't feel guilty for wishing I wasn't there. We were so young,” reaching over I grabbed her hands and squeezed them. “You knowing my pain will help you understand how Adam saved me. The day we arrived I went and sat by the lake. I stared at it for hours with no feelings or thoughts in my head. I was numb. Then a boy approached me with a smile that sent my little heart racing. He made me laugh and I was instantly drawn to him. It took a bit but I eventually warmed up to him and actually found myself having fun. I was enjoying life again.

“The next day is when we built the sand castle and I realized no one could see him but me. I had thought I'd gone insane but I didn't care. For the first time I was acting like a normal eight year old. Adam was worth the stares and whispers I got from talking to myself. Then the vacation ended and we couldn’t say good-bye. Our bond was already too strong, so he came with me. He knew nothing about himself, only his name, but I knew he was more than imaginary. He was sent to me, my own guardian angel.

“We were content for a long time not knowing who or what he was, until we were ten and he disappeared unexpectedly for two days. He had no memory of it. We searched as best we could for months finding nothing. He was devastated, but I wasn't. I was secretly glad.” I didn't want Adam hearing how selfish I was, but I wanted Haley to understand my feelings for him.

Shame washed over me as I turned to Adam, “I'm sorry I didn’t try harder, I was afraid of losing you.”

“I wasn't devastated, just confused,” he reassured. “I could have pushed harder to find answers. The idea of what we would find scared me. What if it took me away from you? Don't forget I love you, Annie. I've always loved you. I needed you just as much.”

The tears finally spilled over, “I love you, too.”

“I will never tire from hearing you say that,” he smiled at me.

“So, like, he's here right know?” Haley spoke, reminding me someone else was in the room.

“Yes,” I replied, never breaking eye contact with Adam.

“So, what, is he a ghost or something?”

My eyes reluctantly focused back on Haley, “We never found out. It wasn't until he disappeared in class that we started searching again.”

“What
did
happen?” Haley’s face was hard to decipher. Whether she thought I was crazy or not was hard to tell.

“He was in front of the class when he doubled over in pain and screamed my name. I will never forget his tortured cries. Everyone else just faded away, I had to get to him. He needed me, but when I reached the front of the room he was gone. That’s why I flipped out,” I looked down at my fidgeting hands, not wanting to relive those feelings. “For eight dark days he was gone. Not knowing what happened or if he was coming back ripped me to shreds. I couldn't lose Adam too. Anybody but him,” the last words caught in my throat. “The moment he returned, everything changed. It was time to find out who he was. I stopped being scared. It was too important. We had our suspicions of what was going on and we searched the internet for hours finding nothing. That's when I turned to Jeremy. He helped us find Adam.”

“Wait a minute, Jeremy knows?” Haley was visibly upset.

“He was the only one I knew who could help us.”

Haley crossed her arms and pouted, “Do you even know if you can trust that guy? You've only known him for about two seconds.”

“Thank you!” Adam cried, throwing up his hands.

“At least now we know who you are,” I snapped back at him.

“Who are you?” Haley asked, staring at the empty space in front of me.

“Did you just ask Adam?”

“Well, yeah,” she looked at me like I was an idiot.

“You believe me?” Disbelief evident in my expression.

“Why wouldn't I?”

“Because it's crazy.”

“Not really, it actually explains a lot. Makes you seem less strange.” She was being so casual about it.

“That doesn't make sense.”

“It explains your behavior. We all catch you mumbling to yourself or talking out loud when you think no one can hear, or how you'll stare at a wall with amusement. I remember one time you were doing the dishes and you kept turning your head and smiling as your eyes moved all over the place, then you started laughing, hysterically laughing. Now that I know it was Adam it brings me comfort. Sometimes you looked like you had lost your marbles.”

“What if I have?”

“Why would you be telling me this story if he wasn't real?” She had a point. “Don't you want me to believe you?”

“Of course I do. I just didn't expect you to believe me so easily.”

Before I knew what was happening Haley pounced on me trying to give me a hug, causing us to tumble over.

“Thanks for telling me, Anna.”

“You're welcome,” my voice was muffled from being buried under her hair. “You haven't heard the rest of the story yet.”

“Oh, right,” she giggled as she sat back up, “Hurry up, I have a bunch of questions.”

“Okay, long story short, he got hit by a car shortly before we met. He's been in a coma and we know were to find him.”

“Is that what you're really doing this weekend? Finding Adam?”

“Yes, it turns out he's only about two and a half hours from here.”

“Why do you think you're the only one that can see him?”

“Because we're soul mates,” Adam answered her question as though she could hear him.

Haley started bouncing her body on the bed. “Omg! I feel so much better now! He totally just said something! You did the weird eye flick thing I've seen you do a million times. It used to creep me out.” She looked so happy, as if she found out Santa really did exist. “What did he say?”

“He thinks I can see him because we're soul mates,” I answered, blushing.

“Aw, that is the cutest thing ever! So, wait, you guys are like in love with each other?” My cheeks burned even brighter. “I'm so coming with you! I have to meet him.”

“You can't, I need you to make sure your parents don't get worried about me. I'm not sure how long we will be gone.”

“No way, I'm coming. I'll handle my parents. Me coming with you won't be a problem.” She sounded so confident that an uncontrollable excitement started building inside me. This was really happening. I looked over at Adam and knew he was feeling the same way.

I sat back, stunned at the turn of events in my life. It was surreal to me that I had just willingly told Haley about Adam and she immediately believed me. It moved me to know I could really trust her.

“Okay,” I nodded.

“Okay? As in I can come?” Her hands flew over her mouth and her eyes bugged out from their sockets while she started bouncing again, “Oh my gawd Anna! This is going to be epic!”

Both Adam and I started laughing at her behavior. I'm not sure Haley knew how to sit still, but I loved watching her be excited for us.

“I have more questions,” she said still bouncing.

“And I will answer them, but we need a cover story for Saturday.”

“Blah, that's easy. Let me do it at dinner,” she waved her hand dismissively. “So, can he move stuff?”

“No, he can't touch or feel anything. It's similar to what you might think of as a ghost, except he can't disappear.”

“You said he doesn't remember anything about himself?”

“Nope.”

“Weird.”

“We know now, thanks to Jeremy, that his name is Adam Kenward, and...” I stopped when Haley's whole body stiffened.