Beginnings (11 page)

Chapter 13

I was heading towards my first class of the semester and noticed  Adam was a few yards away, standing alone under a tree. I headed in his direction before letting myself think about what I was doing. All I could think about was how this was the first time I had ever seen Adam alone; I couldn't ignore the opportunity. When I approached him he was texting on his phone, so I stood there for a moment hoping to catch his attention. I cleared my throat. Adam looked up and stared at me. My excitement of seeing him overwhelmed me and all I could do was beam back at him. A slow smile spread on his lips.

“Hi,” he said to me, causing my stomach to do a cartwheel.

“Hi,” I responded back, a bit too enthusiastically.

He opened his mouth to say more, but before he could a figure appeared and wrapped it's arms around his neck.

“There you are! I thought we were meeting at the coffee stand? I desperately need a latte.”

My mouth dropped open and a queasy feeling started to form; it was Charlotte. I blinked, hoping I was imagining her peck his lips.
Damn, she is still there holding his hand.

“Anna! I didn't see you there. You always just kind of blend in.”

How does she always have a knack for insulting people?

“I guess we aren't all lucky enough to be born with salon dyed platinum blonde hair and five pounds of makeup,” I smiled sweetly back at her. I heard Adam snicker and for an instant it felt like we were together again.

She glared at Adam before she turned to give me her extra sweet smile, “Can you please remind Haley not to forget about our meeting this evening? I'd hate for her to get in trouble again like last time.”

“Of course, I couldn't stand the thought of her missing a discussion on the best parties to attend,” I tried to sound overly sincere. I noticed Adam holding back a smile; it exhilarated me.

“Why she wanted to get an apartment with you and not stay at the house is beyond me,” she was clearly not amused with me.

“She loves my charisma and impeccable fashion sense,” I stated and winked at Adam, who grinned back at me.

Charlotte looked me up and down, “Doubtful.”

She yanked Adam's hand and walked away. They didn't get far before Adam looked over his shoulder at me and our eyes locked. I wanted to hug myself with delight, then my mood cliff-dived when I pictured his lips on Charlotte's. I prayed they weren't together.

********

“The only reason they let her into the sorority is because of her connections,” Haley explained. We were sitting on our couch and I had just told her about my encounter with Adam. “She's just jealous.”

I laughed, “Of what?”

“She has to spend hours every day to look the way she does. All you have to do is throw on some jeans, run your fingers through your hair, and you look amazing.”

Jeremy jumped over the side of the couch and landed between us.

“It's true. You're hot without even trying.”

Haley nodded her head vigorously in agreement.

“That's why I was first attracted to you,” Jeremy continued, “Plenty of girls are pretty, but you don't care about those things. Then of course I got to know you and all attraction instantly vanished.”

“Ha ha,” I replied sarcastically, “but why Charlotte? How can any guy want to be with her? I don't want to see him with anybody, but she's the worst.”

“Beats me! I don't see how any guy can like someone like her,” Jeremy responded looking just as puzzled.

“I'm not sure if I should feel insulted, since we
are
sorority sisters and used to be friends,” Haley said looking hurt.

“No!” Jeremy and I cried together.

“You're nothing like her,” Jeremy had spoken up first, “You would be beautiful no matter how much time you spent getting ready. Charlotte, not so much. You're funny, interesting, smart, and have the most amazing smile.” He looked so serious. “You're so much more than your looks.”

“So, what? You think I care too much about my appearance!” It wasn't a question but a statement. I tried elbowing Jeremy to watch himself.

“That's not what I was getting at, but yes, I do.”
Idiot.

“Well, I'm sorry I'm not a man and can get away with looking however I want to. Society only accepts women a certain way.”

“That's because you all allow it,” Jeremy said matter-of-factly.

“Excuse me?!” Haley was getting fired up; Jeremy always knew how to push her buttons. “Do you think I like getting up at five every morning to go running just so I can eat salad all day? Or that it takes me forty-five minutes just to do my hair?”

They were glaring at each other now.

“Don't do it then. I can't stand how superficial you can be.”

“I care about a lot more than my looks, Jeremy. I thought
you
of all people knew that,” she was seething as she got up to stomp away.

“Oh come on, Haley; that's not what I meant. Please don't storm off,” he turned his body to watch her leave down the hall. He let out an exasperated sigh then fell back on the couch. “I can never win with her.”

“Nope,” and I patted his thigh in sympathy.

He threw up his hands in surrender, “She drives me so crazy sometimes!”

“One of these days the two of you will stop fighting each other and accept your feelings for one another,” I nudged.

Jeremy just shook his head, “Whatever.” He got up and went to his room.

Chapter 14

It was only my second day of classes and I noticed a big change from last year: more work. I had a long gap before my next two classes so I headed to the library. Last year I found the perfect table, it was tucked away in a far corner in a section few went to. I had total privacy.

My table came into view once I rounded the corner and I almost dropped my books. Adam was there; at my table; sitting in my seat. I froze. My heart started beating double time. I tried to control my breathing so he wouldn't see me freaking out.
What do I do?
I closed my eyes and took a calming breath.

I walked to the table and stood in front of him.

“Excuse me,” I whispered but his head remained down in his book. “Excuse me,” I tried a little louder. Nothing. That's when I noticed the headphones in his ears. I tried tapping on the desk but he didn't move. He looked so intense I wished I could see what he was reading. I leaned over the table inches from his face and pulled out one of his earpieces.

“Excuse me, but you're at my table.”

He jumped back, startled. When his eyes met mine I couldn’t help but smile. I was so close to Adam, I ached to touch him.

“I didn't know they had reserved seating,” he snapped back at me looking agitated.

I stood back up, “This is my perfect spot; I always study here.”

“There are plenty of tables, find another.” Then he went back to his reading.

I didn't like his tone, especially coming from Adam. I didn't let him treat me that way before and I wasn't going to start now. I sat on the opposite side one chair down. I pulled out my textbook, highlighter, notebook, and pen. An idea struck me and I took out my leisure book. I opened it to a random page then set it next to me in front of the empty seat across from Adam. He looked up frowning. He glanced at the open book across from him and his brows bunched together. He stared at the book for some time and I couldn't tell if it sparked anything. To my disappointment his head fell back down to his reading.

For the next hour we didn't speak. He didn't even glance my way. I barely got anything done from constantly looking his way. It physically hurt to be this close after so many years and not be able to touch him. It bothered me seeing crease lines on his forehead from scrunching his brows so much. I didn't want to imagine how many hours he'd spent wearing that expression. When he got up to leave he just grabbed his stuff and left without even a glance my way.

I felt drained. I hadn't realized my muscles were tensed the whole time, or that my heart never stopped pounding. Sadness consumed me. I needed more time with him. I missed talking to him. My phone buzzed and I read Haley's text.

Meet me at coffee stand by library. NOW.

Everything is always so urgent with her.
I shoved my things in my bag and went to find her.

“Took you long enough!” She was tapping her foot and holding two coffees in her hands.

“It's only been a few minutes! Geesh.” I reached for the cup she handed me, “Thanks.”

“You should thank Adam, he bought them,” she smirked, taking joy in watching the shock on my face.

“Adam bought these for you?!” It came out almost shouting. She looked so smug.

“Yup. Bet you wish you hurried now.” She took a long sip of her drink.

“Well?” I raised both eyebrows imploring her to continue. She took another long sip.
She can be so frustrating at times.
I knew she was eager to tell me but loved holding it over my head. “Haley!”

“Okay, I just ordered our coffees when Adam showed up out of nowhere and handed the guy money to pay for them. I couldn't speak. I moved aside so I wasn't in line anymore and just stared at him. I mean for the first time I was speechless! At first I was like, uh oh, is he into me-”

“Haley, focus!”

“Oh, right. I finally got out a thank you and he asked me if I was in the same sorority as Charlotte. I told him yes, and then he got all awkward looking and asked if my roommate was too. I said no, and then he tried to act all casual asking me what your name was again, as if he forgot or something. So I told him, Anna. He softly repeated your name then walked away. He must've noticed you the other day!” She was almost jumping with excitement.

“Actually we just shared a table at the library.”

“Oh my gawd, Anna! I want every little detail!”

“He ignored me the whole time. At first he was annoyed I was there, then he ignored me.”

“Weird. I wonder what's going on in his head. Anyways, I gotta get to class. We'll talk more later.”

I walked to my next class in a daze. I wasn't sure how to feel. Adam wanted to know my name, but ignored me the whole time.
Why didn't he just ask me?
I didn't hear a word my professor said. All I did was replay what happened and what Haley had told me. Nothing he did gave any indication he gave a hoot about who I was. Why couldn't there be a book on What To Do When Your Imaginary Best Friend Wakes Up From An Eight Year Coma And Doesn't Remember You? This sort of thing must happen all the time, right? Haley and I dissected every encounter we'd had this week over a Top Ramen dinner but it did no good; the only thing that could help was reading his mind.

********

I didn't see Adam all day Friday; I tried not to let it bring me down. Saturday morning Haley came crashing into my room and pushed me aside so she could get under the covers with me.

“You work today?”

“Yeah, but not until four.” I worked as a waitress three days a week. My parents had started a college fund when I was little and had their will state that enough of their money be set aside for college expenses but it didn't cover basic living costs. I still counted myself lucky though, college would be paid for when I graduated. I hated waitressing, but it was either that or the local mall. At least I only had to endure four years of it. Haley didn't have to work at all. She convinced her parents to pay for her living expenses. She argued that because she had a full scholarship they were actually getting a bargain this way, and she needed to be able to focus on keeping the scholarship. I had no idea how Jeremy earned his money, but I'd found with him it was best not to ask.

“What time are you off?”

“Nine.”

“Good, 'cause we are trying out the fake I.D.s Jeremy got us tonight. We'll pick you up from work.”

“Cool.”

“Now you have to hear about the awesome party I went to last night.” I pretended to listen as she rambled on about people I had never heard of; I just wanted to go back to sleep.
Not everyone wakes up at the crack of dawn like she does.

By the time she finished her story I was wide awake, so I decided to shower and go to the library before work.

A part of me was disappointed when I didn't see Adam there. I couldn't help but wish that he couldn't stop thinking about me.

The table jiggled and I glanced up to see Adam slide into the seat I sat in the other day. He didn't look my way, only opened his book and started reading. I kept telling my body to remain calm, that it didn't mean anything. Then he rested his head in his hand and looked directly at me. My body gave in; the butterflies started doing formations and my heart played ping pong against my chest. His face was unreadable. I used to know what he was thinking by the tiniest look on it.

“That guy you're always with, what's his name?”

That was the last thing I expected him to say
.

“Jeremy.”

“Is he your boyfriend?”

“No, we've been friends since sophomore year of high school.”

“Oh,” and then he continued working. His expression never changed. I wanted to ask him why he wanted to know but I was a coward. When it was time for me to go to work I had to say something.

“Bye, Adam,” he didn't look up. I stood there waiting but he never responded. I dropped the note I had written in front of him and hurried out.