Beginning with Forever (18 page)

He returns the camera back
into my hands and urges me to snap to my heart’s content. With so many flawless, beautiful blooms embellishing the tranquil pond, it’s hard to focus my darting eyes on just one. My trigger-happy finger remains depressed on the shutter button the entire time. Carson patiently sits across from me, watching me lose myself creatively with his admiring green eyes.

____________________

The sun is starting to set, fading the lightness away. We stroll back to the house, hand in hand, enjoying our tranquil bonding time. As soon as we walk through the front door, he instructs me to march directly back to the master bedroom while he prepares our dinner. I’m not allowed to help him with anything. “All I need from you is a big appetite, Lil,” he tells me while pointing his finger down the hallway. I take this opportunity to jump in the shower, groom unwanted hairs, and lather up with his aromatic body wash. After a good fifteen minutes or so in the hot shower, it’s time to get out. I didn’t notice it on my way in, but when I step out of the stall, I see a
n
L
monogram note placed on a white seashell dish.

E
very personal item you need is in the drawers on the left side of the vanity. Feel free to explore the closet. It’s stocked with new clothes especially for you.

Mr. Detail
Carson doesn’t omit anything. I pull the drawers out, one by one, and see body lotions, washes, and perfume, make up, and even hygiene products. Curiously, I walk over to the closet to check out his clothing selections for me. It’s filled with every type of apparel that I could possibly need: dresses, shorts, pants, shirts, pajamas, panties, bras and even lacy nighties. I wonder if Carson personally selected every item in this closet for me. It wouldn’t surprise me if he did.

Carson has a persuasive way of convincing me that I’m sexy, beautiful and needed every minute that I spend with him
. Is it wrong of me to want to be all of this for him? I hope not. It’s only fair that I attempt to look half as appealing as he does every day of his life. His fine selection of citrus-jasmine lotion renders my skin soft as pure silk. Hmm…what should I do with my face and hair? With my best attempt, I apply a rich layer of black mascara over my long lashes, nude lustrous gloss over my full lips and rose blush over my defined cheek bones. My untamed wavy hair is now silky straight and flowing freely.

I
walk over to the closet, select a sexy shear pink bustier and matching panties and slide them and my dress on. They’re a perfect fit, imagine that. Carson must’ve gathered my measurements from some prior opportunity. Guilt fills me as I cut fancy tags off of each dainty piece, knowing he probably paid a ridiculous amount of money for them. We’ll have to have an uncompromising talk about lavish gifts at another time, tonight is our night. He’ll have to understand that I’ll never be comfortable accepting pricey gifts from him. I’m just not the type of girl who expects handouts in exchange for my time. I do it because my heart wants to.

I
gaze at my reflection in the mirror and think,
not bad for a nerdy bookworm
. Unfortunately, my humble side inhibits my confidence to prance out of this room and show him my Cinderella transformation. Instead, I timidly climb into bed and rest my eyes for a few minutes, but my tired body betrays me, and I doze off into dream land shortly after that.

____________________

He inhales my clean fragrant scent, gently kissing along my neck and rousing me from my slumber. The tenderness of his kisses draws me closer to him. I place my hand gently on his face and neck. “Wake up, beautiful. Dinner is ready,” he murmurs softly into my ear. I open my eyes, blinking several times to see his alluring eyes admiring me. “Damn, who’s this hot, sexy Vixen in my little innocent Angel’s dress?” He flagrantly teases me with his eyes appreciating my improved appearance.

“
I hope you don’t mind, but I retired your Angel for the night. You’ll have to settle for this Vixen instead,” I counter his teasing as I shyly look away.

“
I see. My evening plans will have to change to accommodate my new dinner date?” With a smirk on his face, he pulls me up to my feet and out of bed. He hugs me tightly against his body, inhales the floral scent along my collar bone and neck and exhales, “You’re breathtaking.” This dress does have a purpose after all, to enhance my angelic qualities for Mr. Details Carson.

I
walk silently with him as he leads me down a low lit hallway. The palms of my hands are sweating profusely, so I have no chance of hiding the obvious. I urge my legs to follow his pace, but they drag like concrete blocks instead. Is it possible for me to retreat into my turtle shell? I’m insecure with my new look. Wearing makeup and lingerie aren’t the usual things that I’m comfortable with, and neither is trying to seduce this sexy specimen of a man.

We
’re standing at the end of the hallway which leads into a great room instead of the dining room. To my surprise, there’s a charming picnic dinner in the center of the room. The fire place is brilliantly gleaming with lit candles while moonlight glows iridescently through the enormous ceiling to floor windows. Soft, soothing music by Enya surrounds us as well as the waves flowing back and forth. Does he know I love her music or is it coincidental? I’m starting to figure out that nothing about this irresistible man is coincidental.

“Please have a seat
.” He gently pats his palm on a large down pillow. I comply with his request as I lock into his persuasive hazel eyes. He sits Indian style across from me while pouring a glass of vintage red wine for him and a red sparkling grape juice for me. “I want you untainted by any influences this evening. I need to know how you sincerely feel about me.” He runs his thumb across my bottom lip, urging my tongue to follow his path.

“But you’
ll be influenced by the wine. How will I know you’re honest with your emotions?” I challenge him.

“
Lily, believe me, I don’t need alcohol to lower my inhibitions. The minute I saw you at the hospital, I knew I had to somehow make you a part of my life. My emotions are real. I want you more than I can possibly express in words. It hasn’t been easy for me to hold back my desires for you.” His serious eyes tell me he’s sincere, warming my soul all the way to the core. He’s confirming that love at first sight is possible, and that I should believe it.

“But that’s not how I remembere
d it. I recall you demanding to be released as soon as possible.” I give him an unconvinced look. I remember that day well because I felt so ashamed that I let my temper and disappointment get the best of me, making me lose my professionalism in front of him.

“
I did. My immediate attraction to you scared the hell out of me. I’ve never lost control like that before, and I didn’t know how to handle it. But regardless of how terrified I felt, it wasn’t enough to keep me away from you.” He places his hand along my neck, tilting my chin up to face him. God, his openness stirs emotions in me I’ve worked hard to contain. I really want to believe in my heart that what he’s saying is all genuine, but I can’t completely do it, not just yet.

“I’m
thankful you decided to stay.” I bite down on my lower lip, trying to hide an enormous grin overtaking my face. It drives him to clench his masculine jaw, flaunting a matched pursed smile. For a brief second, I think he’s showing me his bashful side and then it’s gone as quickly as it came. His deadpan mannerism resumes, masking his vulnerable side.

____________________

The food is delicious. I find it difficult to believe that he’s solely responsible for this succulent lobster in a light white wine sauce, but I give him credit for it anyways. “Chef Bradley, your food is marvelous.”

He
offers me a sly smile and feeds me another bite of lobster. “Of course it is, I cooked it all by myself.”

We
’re able to enjoy dessert this evening since I’m only permitted to drink grape juice with my dinner. I guess I can’t be trusted with wine which is fine with me. I made a mockery of myself the last time I drank alcohol, shamefully offering my body to him and being rejected. Carson carries out a porcelain tray with berries, melted chocolate and Crème fraîche. His first choice is a juicy raspberry dipped in Crème which he brings teasingly close to me. I lick my bottom lip with craving anticipation, opening my mouth for a taste, but he diverts the berry away, licking the Crème off with his tongue instead. “Have I ever told you how much I love desserts?” he taunts and gives me one of his come-hither smiles with his mesmerizing eyes slightly thinned, looking sideways.

“I’
m starting to feel the same way about
desserts
too,” I flirtatiously reply while fixing my eyes on his sweet lips.

This time he
goes for a plump strawberry, dripping with rich dark chocolate. “Bite,” he croons. I’m allowed to taste, but not to savor it alone. His tongue enters my mouth, lapping the sweet, sour and bitter flavors with me. My body falls apart, melting into him like the decadent chocolate. I have to say this is probably one of the hottest moments of my life. How can he make eating chocolate covered berries such an orgasmic experience? He’s relentless. He continues his enticing dessert foreplay by tracing sweet Crème along my lower lip with his index finger and then into my welcoming mouth.

“Lick
,” he softly commands. My warm tongue slithers around his finger as my moist sticky lips constrict it for his pleasure. “You’re making me desperately aroused.” His breathing is slow and heavy.

“
Am I?” I tilt my head slightly and grin. The ball is finally backed in my court. He’s been teasing me this entire evening, making me putty in his hands, molding me however he wants to, at his mercy. Now, he knows how I’ve been feeling.

“
Don’t tempt me unless you mean it, Lily.” His brooding green eyes turn dark and seductive. Oh god, I’m back to being putty in his hands again just from a single look.

The
last of the plates are cleared. We sit on a soft sheepskin rug directly in front of a white marble fireplace. Candles are burning instead of firewood, creating ambience. As the evening comes closer to an end, my mind is filled with turmoil rather than just plain anxiety. I’m not sure what he expects from me or what I’m really ready for. He notices my zoning out and reassures me, “Hey beautiful, you’re on another galaxy again. I hope I’m not making you nervous about this evening. Nothing is more important to me than your happiness when we’re together. That’s it, I have no other expectations.” He covers my hands with his, calming my nerves with his considerate words.

“No… I
… was just thinking how fate brought you to me and how much my life has changed since that day I found you on the beach,” I stumble over my words, sharing a sincere thought with him. I’m trying not to be afraid of letting someone into my life, fearing that I’ll end up hurting like my mother.

“
You’ve had the same effect on mine, Lily. You’ve redirected my path, helping me see light instead of darkness. You’re good for me, and I hope I’m good for you.”

“You are good for me
,” I confirm with a kiss to his lips, still sweet from the Crème and chocolate. He’s happily relieved and pours himself another glass of red wine.

“More
sparkling juice?” he offers me with a mischievous smile.

“
No thanks, but don’t drink too much. I want the real you and not the intoxicated you.” It’s also important for me to know that he’s not influenced in any way when he shares his feelings with me.

“Believe me,
the wine indulges my palate, but I’ll have no trouble savoring all of you. You intoxicate me, not the wine.” Goosebumps immediately plague my body from the sound of his dissolving, warm voice. He places his right hand behind the nape of my neck and gently draws me to his wine scented mouth. I can taste the lingering rich, bold, bitter flavors of the wine as our tongues entwine.
I want him so badly
, says the sex-craved woman. I attempt to unbutton his shirt, but he clasps my hands after the third button. Tracing his lips along my neck to my ear, he whispers, “Sweet Angel…not here…not for your first time with me. I want to make love to you in our bedroom.” He lifts me up in one easy sweep and carries me to the master bedroom. The room is flooded with shimmering moonlight bouncing off the distant glossy water and glass windows.

Soft
instrumental music continues to surround us with calmness. It sounds familiar to me as I try to remember the title. “What song is this?”

“
‘Breathe’ by Faith Hill.” He looks directly into my melting eyes with his response. Is it possible for this man to make this moment any more perfect? I push the thick drapes of gossamer aside with my free arm to find that someone has already pulled back the plush comforter on the bed. My bottom is gently placed on top of the soft ivory sheets. Carson slowly unzips my dress from the back and shimmies me partially out of it. My body is tenderly lowered onto the bed. The deep sultry trance in his eyes tells me he’s pleased with my shear, pink bustier and panties. The rest of my dress flows gracefully off the bed into a white pool of gossamer on the floor. His pupils turn dark, glazed with decadent desire as he locks into the image of my body lying on his bed, waiting for him to savor. My heart is racing along with my rapid breathing.
Oh my god, is this really happening? Will it hurt? Will I regret it?
I panic unexpectedly.