Beautifully Broken (9 page)

“You
fucked her mouth you dick!” I’m so angry I can’t see straight. His face blurs
in front of me, I could hear my own heart beating frantically in my ears. I try
to grasp onto something, anything as my legs give out and darkness overtakes
me.

When
I wake I’m laying on Liam’s bed with a cool towel on my head. I try to sit up
but he sits on the edge of the bed and pushes my head back into the pillow.

“I
need to leave Liam.” Pain shots through the back of my head from my straining
movements.

“You
just passed out I’m not going to let you roam the streets. Did you eat today?”

“I
threw up the breakfast you made me after my little visit from Alice.”

He
looks away anxiously biting his lip. “I’m sorry Ella, I don’t want to keep
hurting you.”

“Then
we should just let go, we’ll never figure out how to make this work, you don’t
trust me and I don’t trust you.”

“Maybe
you’re right but I can’t let you go. I can’t. I’m probably being selfish but I
need you. When you’re not here I think I smell you and my heart aches to touch
you. I want to trust you Ella. It’s just really hard for me to trust any
women.”

“I
get that Anna really fucked you up but I’m not your mother. You can’t hold her
sins over my head when I’ve got plenty of my own to carry around.” I can’t stay
as much as my heart wants me to. I’ve never suffered as much pain as I did
today. I let this thing between us go too far. I let myself hope and dream for
things I never deserved and now I’m paying for it with this crushing feeling in
my chest. I roll over to the other side of the bed getting up before he can
stop me.

“Ella…”
he releases a heavy sigh, hiding his apparent emotions behind a hand covering
his face. I make my way out of the room ignoring his plea. I grab my bag and
briefcase off the living room floor, passing through the kitchen to grab a
bottle of orange juice. I gulp down the juice as I race down the stairs, not
wanting to pass out on a busy Chicago sidewalk.

Liam

I
actually thought she would stay.

A
feeling of dread had come over me the minute Alice wrapped her lips around me. In
that moment I knew I would lose Ella. After the amazing afternoon we shared
yesterday I had hoped that she would never find out. What kind of secretary
tells her boss about her sexual exploits? Ella doesn’t seem to be the type to
sit around listening to office gossip.

I
grab a bottle of scotch and my phone and head out to the balcony. A quick
glance at my phone reveals four missed calls. After the way I hung the phone up
on my father earlier I should return his call but I don’t. He was sure to have
heard some part of what happened with Ella and he will come down on me for my
weakness.

I
grab a glass from the bar and pour the dark liquid, spinning it around before
throwing it back. The warm liquid does nothing to warm the cold feeling that
looms within me. I’ve been on guard waiting to discover what Ella would do to
ruin us and I never realized I’ve been working twice as hard as her to destroy
us. What happened with Alice was deliberate. I wanted to hurt Ella before she
could hurt me.

 Lucas
is her everything and I wanted to punish her for it. I couldn’t accept the
little piece of her she offered me, I wanted all or nothing. At the time it
felt like a wise decision going out with Alice to force her hand. Now that I’m
left with nothing I’d give anything for that piece of her I had back.

My
phone lights up and begins to vibrate on the bar top. As much as I would like
to ignore it I hit answer and prepare for more badgering.

“Yeah,”
I snap.

“Why
did you hang up? And who the fuck was that in the background?” his voice steady
and calm.

“I
had to take care of an urgent matter.” I need to steer clear of this
conversation. I haven’t told him anything about Isabella since I’ve been here.

“Who
was the woman?” Again steady and calm. An eruption is in the making.

“Just
someone that was keeping me company.”

“Liam
I sent you up there for one purpose, take those motherfuckers down then get
back over here.” He screams into the phone. “You were screaming pretty loudly
at that woman, sounded pretty serious to me. I hope you’re not letting a woman
divert your purpose.”

He
has no idea how far I’ve diverted from our plan of course. Two days ago I’d abolished
the plans to take back the company to run back to Palm Beach with Ella. Now I’m
not sure I care about any of this shit anymore. Having to be in the same city
as the man who stole my mother and now has Ella is too much for me. I’m not
going to stay here watching while she goes back to walking around on his arm.

“I
was just having fun with her, it’s over now.”

“Well
you need to stay on track, and next time I call you pick up.”

“Next
time you call and I don’t answer wait for me to call you back” I snap. I’ve
never been one to take orders. I throw the phone back on the bar. Whatever I
came here to do is over.

********

I’m
such a lucky bastard.

Soon
as I walk into Maddox-Fields headquarters the next day I run into Alice. After
an awkward greeting I’m forced to ride the elevator up with her, the tension so
thick I have to say something.

“It
wasn’t about you.” I say. She looks up surprised that I was bringing it up.

“Uhh…ok”
she begins to bite on her nails.

“I
was sort of involved with someone and it didn’t feel right.” I continue, hoping
to ease the self doubt I see in her eyes. “You’re an attractive woman you
deserve someone better, trust me.” a smile plays at her lips. “No hard
feelings?” I cock an eyebrow at her, offering her my hand in truce.

She
begins to giggle at my playful flirting, “No hard feelings.” She surprises me
by disregarding my hand and wrapping her arms around me for a hug.

“If
it doesn’t work out between you and this woman call me,” she whispers into my
ear as the door slides open. And of course my luck continues as I peer over her
shoulder to see Ella frozen in shock at our embrace. Alice pulls away, winking
at me as she scurries out the elevator. “Hey Isabella,” she chirps her mood
unmistakably taking a turn for the better.

She
stares at me with her mouth agape until the doors begin to close again. I stop
it from closing with my hand, raising a brow in question at her. She shakes her
head obviously refusing to be in the same elevator car as me. I let the doors
slide shut, closing my eyes and letting out a heavy breath towards the ceiling,
trying to ease the tension building in my chest. Ella is going to take an
innocent hug and turn it into something lecherous. I wanted to grab her arm and
pull her into the elevator but I wouldn’t overstep. I had already fucked up
what we had and I didn’t want to cause her any further distress.

It’s
almost laughable how I’ve already been in two very awkward situations in the
five minutes since entering the building. I get off the elevator on the floor
leading to Lucas’ office. His secretary buzzes me right in as soon as I enter
the reception area.

Lucas
is on the phone and promptly makes an excuse to hang up. “What do you want
now?” he sighs rubbing his head.

“I
just came to tell you I’m leaving. You can keep your half of the company. As
much as my dad wants to see you out of the company I couldn’t care less. As
long as I never have to see you again, I’m satisfied.” At the door I could hear
him get up from his chair behind me,

“Just
like that, you give up?” he asks.

“I
don’t give up. I just don’t fight for things that won’t benefit me. Me staying
here trying to get this company doesn’t benefit me in any way.”

“When
are you leaving?”

“Saturday”
I answer.

“You’re
not even going to visit Anna?” the pressure in my chest is immediate. Like
someone has their hands wrapped around my throat. Since I’ve been here he’s
never once mentioned my mother to me. How he can even have the balls to ask
that question is beyond me.

“No.”
I say snatching the door open.

“She
wants to see you” he shouts at my retreating frame. I slam the door loud enough
to make his secretary flinch as I storm out his office.

If
his precious Anna wanted to see me how come she need Lucas to relay the
message. It was public knowledge that I own MADD Pulse if she really wanted to
see me she would have long ago. This is some kind of ploy to make sure my
father and I leave Lucas and his dad alone.

I
walk to my car in a haze not remembering how I got there. Before I know it I’m
driving in front of the home my father and I sold to get away from all this
madness. At the time we needed a fresh start away from the happy family that my
mom and the Fields’ had become.

After
the police pulled me off Lucas I was arrested and spent the night in a holding
cell. I blew off graduation, opting not to walk. My dad’s connections got me
into a college in Florida so we left within two weeks. Replaying all the days
my mom would spend at the Fields after Lucas’ mom died, I had assumed she was
trying to help them get over their grieving period. All along she was warming
Mitchell Fields bed and filling the gap Lucas’ mother had left in his life.

I
drive a couple blocks up and stop in front of the Fields’ house. She’s one of
them now. Anna Fields. She had her happily ever after behind those walls with
the family she handpicked for herself the one that she had created not being
enough for her. My hands tremble on the wheel as a car pulls into the driveway.

I
pull out of my spot and slam my foot down on the gas before anyone can step out
of the vehicle. Seeing her again will do things to me I can’t handle right now.
I have enough emotional shit going on with Ella I don’t need the shit load of
issues that will rise up by seeing my mother again.

Isabella

Last
night was harder than I thought it would be. I was so restless and I spent most
of it hugging my pillow to help relieve the anxiety I felt not having Liam next
to me. By morning I had to apply a couple extra layers of concealer under my
eyes for the dark bags forming. I was so close to giving in and calling him.
Actually I had already made up my mind that I would go see Liam after work, I
missed him like crazy. I just wanted to look into those amazing green eyes and
get lost. Forget about Alice, forget about Lucas, just me and Liam wrapped in
each other’s arm.

When
that elevator door slid open and I saw Alice hanging all over Liam whispering
into his ear, all thoughts of reconciliation came crashing down around me. My
weak heart was willing to give in to a man that could so easily move on. I’ve
never been one for commitment but I can’t share Liam. He’s supposed to be mine
and I want him to be only mine.

That
day Alice flounced around like a teenage girl with her first crush. All her
moping from Liam’s quick withdrawal long gone, replaced by a bubbly idiot. They
probably made plans to meet up that night to finish off what they had already
started. I don’t even know why I’m so upset, I left him and he has a right to
move on. A sexually viral man like Liam was sure to replace me in his bed as
soon as possible, Alice being the obvious choice.

Half
way through the day Alice pokes her head in my office to let me know she’s running
a file up to Lucas. I tell her to leave it with me I was headed up anyway.
Truth is I’ve been itching to know what Liam was doing here this morning. Bringing
this file to Lucas will give me the excuse I need.

When
I enter his office I can tell he is not at all happy to see my face. He leans
back in his chair waiting for me to make the first move in our silent
stand-off.

“Hey”
I’ve never felt awkward around Lucas but there it is. That uneasy ‘
what do I
say’
feeling hovering over us. “I have a file for you,” I say inching
forward and laying the folder in front of him.

“So
the last time you came here it didn’t end so well.” He says deciding to skip
over all the bullshit and getting to the point.

“I
was trying to make peace with you. I thought we could have lunch and talk but
then it got ugly.”

He
takes a deep breath running his hand over his head. He always does that when
he’s agitated. “I’m sorry Izzy but with Liam here I’ve been really stressed.
The fact that you’re seeing someone else is killing me inside. I shouldn’t have
come at you that way.”

“Lucas,
I told you I’m not seeing anyone else.” At least now that Liam and I are over I
don’t have to lie to him.

He
shakes his head in disbelief, “Izzy, you don’t have to lie to me. If you don’t
want to tell me about him I won’t ask.”

I
walk towards him and lean on the edge of the desk. I run my fingers through his
fuzzy hair. He rests his head on my lap letting me caress him. I didn’t realize
how much I missed him, our friendship, our bond.