Beautifully Broken (7 page)

The
first flick of my tongue causes her to thrash about. I throw her legs over my
shoulders and hold her down with and arm across her midsection. I run my tongue
up one side of her pussy then down the other teasing her until she’s pulling at
my hair for more. I circle her clit, loving the sounds she making. When I
plunge my tongue into her pussy her back arches and she moans. I fuck her with
my tongue trying to drink as much of her juice as possible. When I know she’s
close I pull away.

“Please,
please Liam come back.” She begs me.

“Don’t
worry Ella; I’m not going anywhere.” I move up her body and claim her mouth.
She rotates her hips rubbing her wetness against my cock. I pull back and look
into her eyes.

“Keep
your eyes open. No matter how much you want close your eyes you look at me.” I
command.

I
slowly guide my thick shaft into her. She spreads her leg wider to accommodate
my size. Her eyelids grow heavy but she doesn’t break eye contact. She grips my
biceps and moans as I begin to slowly pump in and out of her tight heat. I take
her erect nipple into my mouth and suck on it. The intense glassy look of
pleasure in her eyes almost finishes me.

“Faster,”
she begs.

I
ignore her pleas as I shift slightly and rock against her g-spot. My muscles
tighten and I battle to keep my eyes fixed to hers. I pump in and out of her
tunnel for ages keeping her on the brink. Repeatedly slowing to a standstill
when I know she’s going to come

“Please…Please
Liam” she begs me, letting out a frustrated growl.

I
rise up onto my knees grabbing her hips, finally giving her what she wants. I slam
my hips down and piston into her viciously. She comes hard letting out a
protracted scream. Her body convulses beneath me, her tight heat squeezes my
cock in a milking rhythm. Searing hot cum shots out my shaft into the body I
worship like a religion. She grabs me by the back of the neck and brings my
lips down to hers, drinking her flavor from my mouth. We kiss for an eternity
her hands running though my hair bringing me down from a higher plane.

Ed
Sheeran’s kiss me plays from her iphone.

I
fall asleep in her arms thinking how very fitting that song is.

So
relevant.

Isabella

I
wake at 3am to a cold bed. I roll out with a sigh and grab a shirt from one of Liam’s
drawers and head out in search of him. He’s on the balcony, his back turned
from me. A glass tumbler and a bottle of scotch sit on the ledge. His hands are
pressed against the ledge, supporting his leaning body. He’s deep in thought
and doesn’t hear me approach until I wrap my arms around his naked torso. He
flinches before grabbing his glass and downing the scotch in one shot. I press
my face against his exposed back, cool from the night breeze.

“You’ll
hurt me,” he says, stunning me speechless. “You’ll betray me and I’ll never be
the same man again.” He states factually.

I
wish I knew how to console him, calm his fears. Truth is I’m so fucked up I’m
not sure what I’m capable of. I know what his fear is like though, I suffer
from it every day. My beauty is all I have, love and trust destroy your soul. I
slip under his arm and face him, trying to avoid the pangs of fear from the
height. I caress his face with my hand, trying to wipe away the worry lines
forming on his handsome face.

“I
won’t hurt you. What I feel for you is just as scary for me as your feelings
for me are to you. Give us a chance because I can’t be without you. Yesterday
when I thought I was going to lose you I couldn’t accomplish anything. I had no
mind capacity for anything besides getting to you and fixing us. Let me have
you, your body…your heart. I know if there’s ever going to be someone for me,
it’s you. Maybe were too fucked up to make this work but I’m willing to try”

He
looks in the distance behind me contemplating my words. When he grabs my head
and invades my mouth with his, I melt into him. The kiss is over as fast as it
began. He leans his forehead against mine, his hands trembling on each side of
my face.

“I
love you,” he whispers.

I
stare into his eyes speechless. I love him as much as I am capable of loving
him, more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I just can’t find the courage to say it
aloud. He places a quick kiss on my lips, grabs the bottle of scotch and walks
silently back into the apartment.

I
stay alone on the balcony for a while, hoping to find the inner strength I never
had before to fight for these new feelings I want to explore so badly, if I can
only get past my demons. I know losing him would be worst than anything else
I’ve ever suffered. I’m willing to risk my heart and soul for Liam. Walking
away is not a viable option.

When
I finally go back in, the apartment is dark. Liam is lying across the bed naked
on his back, staring up at the ceiling. I strip his t-shirt over my head and
join him.

I
lay my head on his chest and his arms encircle me; pulling me into his warmth.
He shifts onto his side to face me. I get lost in his brilliantly green eyes as
he draws circles down my naked back.

I
don’t remember if he closed his eyes first or if I did but I know for sure the
connection we shared staring into each other’s eyes didn’t break when we shut
them.

******

The
next morning the apartment is empty when I wake up. I go to the kitchen to
start my coffee but it’s already made. I shower and make breakfast, still no
sign of Liam. By mid afternoon irrational thoughts of him out with Alice taunt
me.

When
Liam finally strolls in I throw my hands up exasperated by his cool demeanor.

“Where
the fuck have you been?”

“Did
you miss me?” he smiles wickedly at me.

“I
was five minutes away from going home and not come back-ever.”

“Come
on Ella, who do you think your fooling, you can’t stay away from all of this.”
He says lifting his t-shirt over his head, exposing that perfectly rippled
chest and abs.

“Be
careful your head’s about to explode from that humungous ego.”

“Uh
huh,” he says not believing I’m as unaffected as I’m pretending. He runs his
hand over his chest sliding it down over his abs. I watch his hand rest at his
belt buckle, urging him on with my eyes. If I wasn’t so stubborn I’d be
screaming at him to take it off.

He
chuckles devilishly, watching my eyes deflate when his hands leave the belt
untouched. He grabs my hand, pulling me into his arms. “I had to meet with a
couple people, we leave in one week.”

“What
do you mean?” I’m confused, we didn’t make any plans to go anywhere.

“We’re
leaving for Palm Beach next week.” He thinks I’m going to pick up and move with
him.

“Liam
I can’t just pickup and leave in one week. I have a job, a life here.”

“You
can do the same exact job in Palm Beach and you told me yourself Lucas is never
going to get over you if you’re in the same town.” He cocks an eyebrow at me
knowing he’s right.

“No.” 
I say as he stares at me shocked. He’s still unused to my willful temperament.

His
eyes flash with anger, “How the fuck did you expect this to work then. Last
night you beg me to trust this and now you want to stay here with Lucas.”

“It’s
not about Lucas,” I shout back. “Okay, maybe a little. He’s been my everything
for so long how can I just pick up and leave him.”

“What
do you want me to say to that? How am I supposed to feel when you say another
man is you’re everything?” I watch him quietly retreat to his room. It’s only
been a few hours and I’m already hurting him. I want to go after him and tell
him I’ll go with him but I also want to stay here, where I have a family in
Lucas and Anna. I can’t have both, the damage between the two men is too far
gone for happy reunions. Once my relationship with Liam comes out I know their
battle will turn into a bloody war, worst than the one between their fathers.

When
Lucas told me what happened between their families I thought it odd how two men
could let a women devastate their friendship. Now I’m the one annihilating my
friendship with Luc over Liam.

Liam
comes out his room dressed to slay hearts. His masculine scent hits me full
force and moisture pools in my panties. His hair still wet and disheveled from
his quick shower.

“Where
are you going?” I ask as he picks up his keys.

“I
have a date,” he walks by me towards the door.

“No,
no, no. You can’t just run out with another woman anytime we disagree. You’re
being juvenile and manipulative.”

He
turns a sharp eye on me, “I’m being manipulative? I see through you Isabella
Moss, I know what you’re doing. You have an emotional relationship with Lucas
and a physical one with me. You want to hold onto that love you share with him
while I fuck you at night.”

He
advances so close to me I can feel his furious breaths against my cheek.

“Your
perfect Lucas doesn’t know how dirty you like it does he? How savagely you like
to be fucked? He probably treats you like a piece of glass he’s afraid he’ll
break. In all those years he’s never even realized you can’t break glass that’s
already been shattered.” He brushes past me, slamming the door behind him.

I’m
shell-shocked, left staring at the door he exited through. How had he discerned
so much about me in such a short time? When I finally move I make it to his bed
and curl into a ball. I don’t bother pulling the blanket over my body. The
shivers running through me won’t subside by a warm blanket, my soul is cold,
empty.

Liam
is the only person to ever make me confront the truth. I’m a lot more broken
then I would like to admit. Going to Dr. Shultz had only been an attempt to
stop my promiscuity. I never let him dive into anything underneath that issue.
Tonight I realize I’m not just broken I’m shattered and blind. Blind to the
pieces of myself that are long lost to me.

I
realize my pillow is cold and wet. I shoot up into a sitting position, running
my hand over the moisture on the pillow. Still doubtful of the tangible proof
beneath my hands; my fingers brush against my face. My eyes focus in on the
droplets on my fingers.

Tears?

I
haven’t seen my own tears in so long I no longer believed they existed. Crying
was what the weak Isabella used to do. After realizing how much power one can
gain from her tears, she vowed never to cry again. The new Isabella that
emerged that day was better, stronger.

A
liar.

I’ve
lied to myself. Denied myself the pain and the fear I’ve felt.

My
head drops back down unto the wet pillow and I let go. Let go of all of it and
bawl my eyes out.

I
cry until my eyes swell.

I
cry until there are no more tears left to cry.

I
cry until I drift asleep thinking of the love I let walk out on me.

Liam

I
meet her at Tru. She walks into the restaurant in a tight black mini dress and
fuck-me heels. Ordinarily I would take a woman to dinner then drag her back to
my place, where I would bend her tight little body over a chair and fuck her
until she’s breathless, afterwards I send her on her way while I shower her
scent off of me.

Tonight,
as enticing as Alice looks, my body is not cooperating. My mind keeps rehashing
my encounter with Ella. The agony in her eyes haunting me throughout dinner. I
absent-mindedly participate in conversation with Alice, nodding at the
appropriate times, not remembering much of what she says.

After
realizing she took a taxi to meet me I offer her a ride home. On the ride to
her place her hand creep up my thigh, she’s not expecting this night to end
anytime soon. My mind tells me to take her up on her offer and leave Isabella
in the past but my foolish heart begs me to leave Alice at her door. What the
fuck does my heart know anyway? When Isabelle stomps on it leaving it aching,
it will thank me for this.

I
follow her into her apartment, turning down her offer for a drink. She
immediately moves in to kiss me, both of us already knowing what this is about.
I turn my face before she can claim my lips offering her my neck, her lips on
mine too personal for me at this point.

It
doesn’t take much time before she backs up stripping her dress, revealing her
red lacy thong. Her breast are already bare, she rubs them baiting me to come
taste them. Fuck, this shouldn’t be so hard. I never had a problem fucking
random chicks before I came to Chicago. Ella has me so far gone my cock is only
semi-erect while a sexy, naked women touches herself in front of me.

I
watch her unbutton my shirt, her eyes nervously glancing into mine. She knows
I’m not fully into this. By the time her fingers begin fumbling with my belt
even my brain is screaming at me to run. But I’ve never been good with
listening to orders.

I
stay.