Beautifully Broken (3 page)

Through
the years he became my only family, taking me home for thanksgiving and Christmas,
never questioning me about my unmentioned family.  By our third year his dad
started talking about the wedding we could have after graduation. Wedding
dresses and champagne toast as tempting to me as a casket with roses on it. Dread
raced through my veins just thinking of a life strapped down to Lucas and a
couple kids. Kids?  Ha, how fucked-up would I be as a mother?

Our
last year on campus I actually convinced this cute sorority guy that Lucas was
my friend and we began dating, if that’s what you can call it. I was never
serious about Charles I was mostly using him to get Lucas to back off. He was
getting very persistent and his depressed moods every time I turned him down
worried me. I was hoping he would move on and we could remain friends.

Charles
was hot in the preppy kind of way and I lusted after him like crazy. I wanted
to do things to him that would blow his mind but he didn’t like the way Lucas
clung to me so I had to get Lucas to back off quickly. I never expected Lucas
reaction to my new relationship with Charles to be so hostile. He refused to
talk to me for weeks after I told him he could no longer sleep in my bed. His
irritated glare would follow me as I moved around the classes we had together.
Then he started dating Amber Williamson. Campus cheerleader, Vice President of
her sorority and all around spoilt princess. She had made most of my college career
miserable.

She
had always wanted Lucas since freshman year but he was too engrossed in me to
even notice her. His boyish good looks, hard body and fuzzy low cut brown hair
had most girls on campus checking him out. When he smiled a single dimple
appeared on his right cheek and his blue eyes would sparkle.

He
would stroll around campus with Amber completely ignoring me and what I felt in
my stomach was a lot like what I thought jealousy would feel like, having never
experienced jealousy before that time. Her triumphant smiles as they strolled
past me would bring on an urge to bash her head in.

The
last week before winter break Charles invited me to a party at his sorority
house and I was excited. The first frat party I went to freshman year was
ruined by Amber and her sorority sisters. I went on a three year boycott of all
things frat that night walking to my dorm drenched from hair to shoes in beer
foam.

That
night at the party with Charles, everything started out amazingly. We walked
through campus hand in hand laughing and joking. He never left my side at the party;
he knew how nervous I was about these things. When Amber showed up wrapped
around Lucas, Charles immediately sensed my tension and pulled me to the dance
floor. We danced and drank for what felt like hours.

Amber
was dry humping Lucas up against a wall when Charles dragged me up to his room.
He tossed me onto his mattress and took me fast and furiously. All thoughts of
the party and Lucas vanished from my mind from the force of my orgasm. I’ve
always had a love for sex, it’s just the attachments and commitments I hate or
if I’m honest with myself-fear. Charles was great but he was a means to an end.
I would never belong to anyone. It’s one of the main reasons I never fucked
Lucas. I love him too much to hurt him the way I know I’m capable of.

Lucas
may have been able to keep all the boys on campus away from me but that doesn’t
mean I abstained for all those years. I would occasionally hangout with my
roommate and her friends. When we would hit the off campus clubs I almost always
found a hit. You see, my drug of choice is sex. I love the rush that runs
through my body when I have a beautiful man on his knees licking the cream from
my pussy. The power he exerts to find his release within me, excites me.

Over
the years I slept with countless men. Unfamiliar faces who hold a piece of my
broken soul, in exchange for a hit of their addictive rock hard manhood. From
very early on I understood the power I held over men with my ‘awe-inspiring
beauty’ as my dad would tell me. His constant praise of my beauty caused a huge
rift in my relationship with my mother. She had always been the most beautiful
woman in every room and she resented my beauty outshining hers.

That
night after pulling myself from under a passed out Charles and throwing on my
cloths, I stepped out of the room only to be confronted by a furious Lucas.

“What
the fuck Isabella!!” he screams grabbing me by the shoulders and pushing me up
against the wall. Shocked, does not describe how I felt. I’d never seen Lucas
so angry. His hands shook as he caressed my cheek. He presses his body against mine
and whispers into my ears, “I love you so fucking much. What does he have that
I don’t Izzy? You keep hurting me and I can’t take this shit anymore.” I’m
speechless as he sobs on my shoulder, his tears dampening the strap of my
dress. I run my hand through his hair, soothing him as his tremors subside.

“Take
me home” I tell him.

We
ride to my place in an uneasy silence; none of us wanting to talk about what
transpired at that party. He quietly follows me to my room where he stands
awkwardly at the door looking lost and unsure where he stands with me. I pull
him in and slowly strip him down to his dark grey boxers. I guide him to the
bed while I shower Charles scent off my body and return to the bed in v cut
camisole and matching black g-string panties and wrap my arms around his
sleeping form.

When
I wake in the morning, Lucas soft hands are rolling my nipples. The hard tips
ache to be pinched. His hand slides down my navel resting over the edge of my
panties, his erection pumping against my ass.

“Please
don’t reject me again Izzy.” He growls in my ear. “I need you so badly.” When I
don’t respond he gets bold enough to slip his hand into my panties. He parts my
lips and rolls my small wet bud between his fingers. I gasp as he pushes one
finger deep in me. My hips circle and I ride his hand as he fingers me. This is
when I made my first mistake, letting Lucas think he had me, that I would be
his. I should’ve said no but I was tired of fighting him and I knew this would
mean the world to him.

He
unexpectedly flips me onto my back and rips my panties off my body. The aggressive
move turns me on and I attack his boxers and get them off as quickly as
possible. I reach up and grab his face and shove my tongue into his mouth. He
pulls back and says, “I don’t want to hurt you, we’ll take it slowly.” But I
don’t want it slow, I want it hard. I want to fuck like animals and come screaming
so loud my voice is hoarse but he has no idea who I really am, or the crazy
sexual exploits I partake in so I hold my thoughts in.

He
slowly worships my body with his hands and mouth. When he finally penetrates me
he takes me like a porcelain doll that need to be handled with care. I love him
for wanting to treat me as more than I am but it cools off my arousal. I roll
him over and enjoy the power I have over him as I ride him to a joint climax.

We’ve
been an official couple since then, if you can call it that. We break up every couple
months, in the last five years I’ve broken up with Luc fifteen times. Agreeing
to come to Chicago to work at his father’s company was a big mistake. I’m
beginning to feel that the only way Luc can get over me is to be as far away from
me as possible.

He
has no idea about the guys I’ve slept with since we’ve been together but
sometimes I need to let loose and let the tigress in me out. Last year I
decided I wasn’t going to continue to cheat on Luc with the excuse that we were
broken up. He would be devastated if he knew what I’ve done.

 I
even began seeing a head shrink. I call my psychiatrist that because I think I
pay Dr. Katz to shrink my head, to push out all my deplorable behavior till
nothings left but the angel Luc wants me to be. It might have been working too.
I haven’t slept with another man in over a year.

Until
Liam Maddox walked into my life.

Just
the thought of that man scares me. No man has ever held any power over me but
that man has the power to make me grovel at his feet just for a taste of his
cock in my mouth.

The
amount of animosity that runs between him and Lucas means my little tryst with
Liam will come back to haunt me. Having sex with your adversary’s girlfriend is
one hell of a hand to hold. A man like Liam is sure to use this card to trump
Luc and I’ll be royally fucked. Literally and figuratively.

Walking
into my condo, seeing Luc with his head bowed, deep in thought I know I’m
hurting him. I just don’t know how to stop without hurting him more or worst
yet, losing him as a friend.

“Hey,”
I say my voice trembling.

He
looks up at me, his eyes slowly taking in my night club clothes and my disheveled
hair. The looks of disgust I received during my walk of shame home not much
different from the look in Luc’s eye as realization sets in.

“You
spent the night out,” he gasps, panic setting in on his face.

“Lucas
I told you yesterday I needed some space.” I say avoiding his question, “This
is not space.”

“Were
you with another man? Is he the reason you all of a sudden need space?” he
screams his anger arising.

“This
is about you and me, no one else. We’ve been doing this back and forth thing
for years Luc.” I approach him and caress his face. He always looks so boyishly
vulnerable when he thinks he’s going to lose me. “You’ll always be the number
one man in my life but I’m not good at relationships. I want us to take some
time and be friends like we used to. Everything was so easy then and I want
that back with you.”

His
frown remains on his face but I know he’ll relent, “If that’s what you need, you
know I’ll do anything for you. Just promise me you won’t leave me.”

“I
won’t leave you Luc, you’re all I’ve had for years. You know how much I love
you.” I pull him into my arms and hold him until I feel the tension ease out of
his body.

Liam

She
walked out on me,
I thought to myself when I realized
Isabella Moss just breezed out of here like a hurricane, without a backwards
glance at the destruction she’d left behind. How she managed to dig so deep
under my skin in just one night is a mystery. I had to restrain myself from
ordering her to stay.

When
I saw that I.D. and realized who she was I should’ve let her leave. I had a
private investigator give me every ounce of information he could get on Lucas
before I came to Chicago. If I’d known his ‘hot, unfaithful girlfriend’ as the investigator
put it, was the woman I met last night I would have steered clear. Isabella
Moss defiantly needed a strong man to keep her in check. She’s spinning out of
control without even realizing the mess her life has become. My investigator
had easily located a few men she’d slept with while portraying Lucas’ angelic
girlfriend. Isabella wasn’t part of my plan, I saw her last night and the pull
to have a taste of her was so strong I got sidetracked from my purpose here.

There’s
no way a prick like Lucas could keep a women like her in check. He had no idea
of the other men she slept with behind his back. She hangs on Lucas’ arm like
an angel, and then traipsed around the club like a bitch in heat last night.
Lucas’ may worship her too much to keep her in line however once she fell into
my bed; she practically signed her life over to me. Once I rid her of Lucas and
gain controlling interest in Maddox-Fields, everything will be better than
planned.

Since
my plan to spend the morning with Ella backfired, I decide to go back up to my
suite, change then head out to Maddox-Fields. If what I know about Isabella
holds true she won’t tell Lucas I’m here, he’ll be totally blindsided by my
appearance. Though I often came to town, I never go to the Maddox-Fields offices
here. Years ago when our fathers ran the business, it was decided my dad would
run our Florida and New York branches while Lucas’ dad ran the Chicago and
Washington offices.

As
I saunter into the lobby I immediately notice how small this headquarters is
compared to New York and Palm Beach. What it lacked in space was replaced with
an abundance of luxury. The receptionist rises quickly as I approach the
counter.

“Mr.
Maddox!” she gasps. “Wow, I’ve never seen you here before. I’m honored to
finally meet you.” She blushes as she pushes her chest up then flicks her long
blonde hair over her shoulder to give me a better view of her cleavage. She
reminds me of a Barbie doll, a stick figure with blown up breast.

“Is
Mr. Fields expecting you?” she questions.

“No
and I don’t need directions I know where his office is.” I say over my shoulder
as I head to the bank of elevator behind office Barbie.

I
ignore the apprehensive glances I receive from people in the hallway leading to
Lucas’ office. Despite all the money obviously spent on remodeling, this place
is still unnervingly familiar.

Visions
of Lucas and I running up and down the hallways pretending to be covert
operatives dance around in my head. Our fathers were best friends growing up. They
played varsity football together, went to the same college, started a company
and were best man at each other’s weddings. For years Lucas and I were
inseparable, closer than most brothers. Our fathers built this company five
years out of college. A couple years later with the opening of a new branch in
Palm Beach both our mothers fell pregnant.