Beautifully Broken (11 page)

My fingers trailed through this hair, tugging at the soft curls. He moaned slightly and I stilled, not yet ready to wake him. I didn’t want to ruin his peace with the fact that I would have to face the fact that my father is alive and he most likely wanted me dead. Cole turned slightly causing his palm to lay gently on my bare stomach. Seeing his hand on my skin twisted my stomach into a flutter of gentle butterflies. I’ve come to think of them as pets. A welcoming extension of myself.
“Good morning” he grumbles, his voice still thick with sleep. I smiled as he opened his blue eyes. “Morning.” He shifted and stretched before sitting up slowly. “Have you been awake long?” He asked as he stifled a yawn. I shook my head, “Not too long. Just a few minutes maybe?” I pulled the cool sheets over my bare chest and ran a hand through my long hair. I wasn’t ready to face what was waiting for me. I wanted to freeze this moment and stay in it forever. Just me and Cole in our own little love making bubble. “I don’t want to get up.” He says as he snuggles down in the blankets and tugging me into his warm body. I don’t either. I could stay here all day if life would let me but I know better. I know without a doubt that there is only a little time before my father finds me again. Little time before I have to fight. I just want to live in peace. Truthfully I’m in shock that he let me live through the night. I have no recollection of Cole or myself locking the door before our passionate love making last night. “Hungry?” I ask quietly knowing it is time for us to rise.

Cole shifted and watched me carefully as I climbed out of the bed, taking the sheet with me. I don’t look at him because I know if I do he will see the worry that I’m sure is written all over my face. I dress quickly, pulling on underwear, a bra, a baby blue t-shirt and a pair of faded and frayed shorts. I braid my hair down my back and finally turn to face him. He’s finally put on a pair of boxers but he is still lying on my bed, his arms folded above his head watching me intently. “You’re not running Marley. I won’t handle it and I won’t let you.” He says sternly. I’m actually shocked by his comment. The thought had crossed my mind, thinking I would take my murderous father far away from the one person that I cared about…that I loved.
“Why do you say that?” I ask a little defensively. “I see it in your face. You’ve been considering it. Don’t run Marley. Please.” The plead is the softest of whispers and I find myself fighting against the tears as I crawl slowly back into his arms. “Let me help you.” He asks and I do all I can not to panic as I nod. I know he won’t back down. If things were reversed I would be the same.

             
We lay in the same spot basically anchoring each other until my room is bathed with golden sunlight. I know it’s time to get up and moving. There is no sense in waiting out the inevitable. There’s no point in searching for him either. Obviously my father won’t be found until he is good and ready to be found. So I decide today is the day I’m going to finish up Old Louise. Cole wants to see her up and running so badly that there is no way I won’t give that to him. I hate thinking of his dwindling sight. Hate thinking that he will never witness such beautiful things. I wonder but I don’t ask how he feels about it or how much sight he actually has. Instead I go to the kitchen and work at getting some food started. I’m not good in the kitchen like Cole is but I manage to whip together some scrambled eggs and toast successfully without burning down the apartment. The wall with the red paint has been scrubbed to a faint pink and I realize that no amount of scrubbing is going to rid the wall of those words so I decide that I’ll paint. Blue. I’ll paint the walls blue to match Cole’s eyes. I smile at the thought as I set down the plates and call Cole to the kitchen.

             
A few moments go by and Cole doesn’t emerge from my room. He must have fallen back asleep. I walk back into my room and immediately know something is wrong. Cole sits on the bed his eyes staring at something but not truly seeing it. “Marley?” He asks with the slightest tremble to his voice. “Yeah…” He turns towards my voice but his eyes don’t find me. “Oh god…” I whisper as I realize what’s happening. “Cole.” I rush over and gently grab his shaking hands. “I –I can’t see…everything is like a thick white fog, I can’t even distinguish shapes.” He stutters. I wrap my arms around his neck and my mind is spinning, there is nothing to make this better. “It’s all right.” I whisper as I stroke his hair. He clings to me, as if I am his only source of survival and in a way I suppose I am. “I’m not ready for this.” He whimpers and it all but breaks my heart. It kills me to see him so broken when I know he is so incredibly strong.

             
“It just happened, out of nowhere. I closed my eyes for just a second and when I opened them it was like this.” He says as his eyes dart around the room, desperate to cling onto something. “Then maybe it will come back, maybe this isn’t permanent.” I suggest hopefully. He nods slowly but I can tell he doesn’t believe it. “It’s happened before. The fogginess I mean but it was never this thick.” The sadness in his voice is unmistakable. “Come and eat… give it time. Maybe it will come back.” At this point however even I am having a hard time staying positive.

             
I help him to the counter and put his plate in front of him, handing him a fork and describing his plate like a clock. For the most part we are silent except for a few sentences about our plans for the day. I don’t bring up Old Louise, in the off chance that his sight doesn’t return and he never gets to see her run again. We waste most of the day pretty much moping around. His sight doesn’t return and that’s kind of put a damper on things so instead we make our way back to my now darkened bedroom. There is no musical storm to make love to tonight. Instead we crawl beneath the blankets and he closes his eyes. I know he’s not asleep though, he is just tired of the fog. After a moment Cole’s lips find mine, almost instinctually. At first they move simply, softly and out of comfort but gradually escalate to something more frantic. His mouth is devouring mine as we lye side by side. His hand slowly and softly moves up from my hip and over to my wrist we he pins it above my head. A shallow breathy moan escapes my swelling lips and Cole gently pushes my back down and positions himself on top of me. His lips trail down my skin and I realize how badly I need this. Not the actual act of making love, not the overwhelmingly amazing sensation it brings but I need the connection and I know he does too. I wiggle my hands free so I can rip off his shirt, tossing it carelessly to the side. This is not the slow and soft love making we made last night. It is also not the dirty sex that I experienced but instead this is full of passion and need and so much pain and love rolled into one. This is indescribable at best. I rake my nails across his shoulders as I’ve wanted to do for some time and immediately he growls. I love the feeling of his muscles as they move beneath my fingertips. His skin is both hot and soft and he groans at my touch. His eyes are still closed but it doesn’t matter since it is dark and he doesn’t really need eyes to do this. My shirt is practically torn off and discarded in some unknown place and our lips frantically reconnect. Cole trails his hands softly over my stomach and immediately I feel the goose bumps erupt on my skin. I can’t get enough of his taste, his touch, his everything. His pants and boxers are off before I can process and he tugs my bottoms off just as quickly.

             
There is no experimental touching, getting to know one another’s bodies as he positions himself and plunges inside me without hesitation. I groan, wrap my legs tightly around him and weave my fingers into his hair, tugging at the strands with each thrust of his body. He is panting and gripping me almost painfully but I don’t protest as he pushes me closer to the edge. We both need this and I know that. I won’t stop him. His hands thread into my hair and he pulls, bringing my head to the side and giving him open access to my neck which he nibbles and sucks at. I moan and whisper his name as he thrusts and grunts, pulling us both to the edge and then explosions. White hot fire rolls quickly through my veins, filling each spot inside my body with tingling pleasure. Just as I’m coming down I feel Cole tense and release his own pleasure.

             
Just as quickly as it had started, we lye in a heap, sweaty and panting against each other. “Marley.” Cole whispers and I can barely respond as sleep tugs at me. “Hmm” is the only response I can manage. “Marley…Please don’t leave. I won’t handle it. I-I can’t handle losing you Marley. I don’t know what you did to me but I don’t want to go back to how I was.” My throat suddenly filled with a giant lump making it hard for me to breathe let alone speak. Cole’s hands stroked my face and carefully he opened his eyes. They focused on me and he smiled, “There you are.” He whispered and I can’t stop the small smile that forms on my swollen lips. “I can’t leave either… I don’t want to. For the first time in my life I don’t want to run Cole. I want to stay and fight.” He kisses me, much more gently then our desperate ones just moments before. “I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen for you.” He mutters against my lips and I chuckle. “You’ve had me from day one Hercules.” I sigh because for the first time in my entire life I feel loved and safe and wanted. He smiles and leans up on his elbow, playing with a strand of my hair, “I’m not telling you this is going to be easy Marley,” he sighed, “But I am telling you that it is going to be worth it.” I looked up at him and felt every inhibition fall away. I kissed him and snuggled into his warm embrace, drifting into a peaceful sleep.

Chapter Fourteen

             
Cole wakes me up the next morning by trailing feather light kisses across my cheeks. “Good morning beautiful.” He whispers as I stretched my arms over my head. I smile sleepily as I rub my eyes. “I have a surprise for you today.” He looked almost what I would describe as giddy and I laughed as he tugged me out of bed. “Shower, come on.” He wrapped us both in my sheet and moved us towards my bathroom playfully. Showering was another thing I had never done with another person. My experiences with men were both physically vast but emotionally limited. There was no spending the night, cuddling, making breakfast and certainly no communal showers.

             
He dropped the sheet to the ground and turned on the water. “I’ve never showered with someone else.” I said softly. It came off as shy and the more I thought about it I realized I truly was. He laughed, “Consider it another first.” He kissed the tip of my nose and pulled me into the steaming water. The water ran over my head and I closed my eyes, savoring the warmth. Cole turned me gently so that my back was against him and I leaned my head back against his chest. I could feel his heart against my head and I smiled. I felt like it was mine just as much as mine was his. He softly gathered my hair into his hands, tugging it into the water and wetting it. He cleared his throat and I smiled, I could feel the desire practically radiating off of him. He reached around me and grabbed the shampoo. He lightly massaged the shampoo into my hair and I couldn’t stop the happy moan that slipped from between my lips.

             
Cole rinsed the soap from my hair, his fingertips lingering on my skin as he did so. Once he was finished he turned me to face him and slowly cleaned my body. Before he could finish I stopped him and smiled, “I want to do you next.” I loved this feeling that he gave me. He hesitated before turning and dipping down so I could reach his hair. I made quick work of cleaning his hair and excitedly moved on to his body. My fingers brushed over his skin, over his pecks, down his abs and over his back. “Marley…” His husky voice broke my concentration and I snapped my eyes up. The look of undiluted desire smoldered in his eyes and my breath caught in my throat. He swallowed and my heart picked up pounding borderline violently in my chest. I licked my suddenly dry lips and his eyes darted to my mouth. “Marley…if you keep this up I won’t be able to show you my surprise and I really want to show you.” He was pleading with me. I knew if I pushed he would give in but honestly I loved surprises, I never had them before and I wanted them. I laughed breaking the thick tension and nodded, snatching a towel from the rack just outside of the shower and stepped out, wrapping it around my body.

             
I made my way into my room and dropped the towel basically skipping into my room. “Wear your bathing suit!” Cole called from inside the shower. I laughed excitedly. Cole came in as I began sifting through my drawers. “I want to take you somewhere that you can relax. I know you have been stressed with this thing with your dad and I want to give you a little peace.” I stared up at him and took a shaky breath. I rushed forward and wrapped my arms around his bare middle. “I don’t know what I did.” My voice hitched and I buried my face into his chest. “What do you mean?” His voice was heavy and his hand gently stroked my hair. “I must have done something really good. I mean seriously amazing to have deserved someone like you.” I whispered. Cole chuckled and pushed me back to look into my eyes. I was amazed by how much love was reflected in his gorgeous blue eyes, it made me want to laugh cry and fall to pieces all at the same time. “You make me feel the same way Marley. I’ve had so much bad…and then you come along.” He sighed and kissed my forehead softly. “Come on Marley Masters. I have a surprise waiting for you. Let’s get dressed.”

             
I threw on a bandana bikini, a light yellow tank top and a pair of frayed shorts and was ready in less than three minutes. When I looked up, I couldn’t help but smile. Cole wore a plain white tank with khaki shorts and a backwards baseball cap. I was suddenly caring less about the surprise and more about what he had under those clothes. “So if this is a surprise, how are we getting there?” I asked playfully. He smiled widely as he slipped his arms around my waist and tugged me closer. “I invited a few friends. Mason will be here any minute to pick us up. Although I’ll warn you in advance, he and Emma Jo have been getting close and I’m sure he invited her.” He said apologetically. I shrugged, nothing could ruin this day for me and surprisingly that’s exactly how it felt. “I’ll deal.” I stood up on my tip toes and kissed his lips. I could kiss this man all day. Just as I reached up for another kiss, Mason honked the horn of his truck. The Dixie tune rattled around causing me to laugh and shake my head. Men and their honky tonk toys.