Bearing Hearts (City Shifters: the Den Book 2) (7 page)

I
tried
to enjoy the pancakes and Tyler’s circuitous stories, but Axel’s silent presence at the end of the table distracted me. And the thought of finally meeting Smith in person didn’t help much. I must have looked pretty green, because Kaiser handed me a paper bag as soon as I got into his car.

But he smiled as he did it, so I slugged his shoulder in mock anger — though I kept the bag, just in case. He didn't speak at all during the drive, just hummed along with the radio, and I couldn't have expressed my gratitude even if I had the words. My hands shook with nerves, although I didn't really know why. I'd never met Smith; Ragnar and I worked through one of his associates at first, then via email and phone messages. For security reasons, of course, we never met in person. But with Ragnar gone, the security precautions didn't really matter. I would meet Smith face-to-face the one time, just long enough to figure out what we needed to do to avenge Ragnar, and then I could move on. I gripped my knees in the car and tried to breathe normally. My stomach wobbled as I looked past that moment.

I imagined standing over the bodies of the men who killed Ragnar, the score settled, and after that... A complete blank. Nothingness. What would I do without Ragnar? He was dead, yes, but I still had the bastards behind his death to chase. He still gave me purpose. Without that... I had nothing. Absolutely nothing. No family, no job, no real skills, no plan. Nowhere to go.

My breath caught and panic welled up in my chest. Alone. I was truly, entirely alone.

"Just breathe," Kaiser said, calm and steady, and his hand on my shoulder pushed me forward until my head was between my knees and breathing grew a little easier. He patted my back as he drove, though he went slowly and eased into the turns so nothing felt too jerky or abrupt. "In through your nose, out through your mouth. Nerves or stomach?"

"Both," I managed to say, breathing through my nose as I closed my eyes and gagged.

He pulled into a parking garage and a convenient spot, parking smoothly, then leaned into the backseat to retrieve a small first aid kit. When I could finally sit up, my eyes blurry with tears and my face no doubt streaked with grossness, he handed me a small packet of wet wipes, some tissues, and a miniature bottle of mouthwash. It made me laugh, even though a few more tears escaped, and I shook my head as I blew my nose. "How long have you been married? Because you're pretty good at this."

Kaiser snorted, smiling down at the first aid kit as he re-packed it. "This is actually Owen's doing, believe it or not. Legitimate medical supplies. We use the mouthwash to sterilize wounds sometimes, and the wet wipes to clean up everything else. But Josie has introduced me to the need for empathy in many unfamiliar situations. With that in mind, is there anything you want to talk about?"

"You sound like a guidance counselor," I said, laughing harder. It made it easier, even though it seemed like the tears wouldn't stop. "Is there anything I want to talk about. Jesus."

The beard hid most of his smile, and it was nice to know he wasn't offended. He would have been the scariest fucking guidance counselor in the history of the world, though. The bear watched as I stuffed all the goopy stuff into the paper bag and crumpled it up, and his eyebrows drew down as he thought. "I'm having a hard time understanding the nerves of seeing Smith when you've worked for him for a while."

"It's not him." I cleared my throat and took another swig of mouthwash. Maybe Owen could pack toothbrushes in the first aid kits from then on. Not that so many of their friends would be vomiting instead of bleeding. "I can't really explain it. Just a lot going on."

Kaiser frowned at the steering wheel, watching his fingers as he tapped the stitching in an uneven rhythm. "Axel said you asked about the code."

"I did."

He nodded, then half-turned in the seat to face me. "I don't know what he told you, but I can say what the code means to me. You are family. That will never change, regardless of what your relationship is — or is not — with Axel. And I look after my family, Lucy. After we talk with Smith, we can figure out what the next steps will be. But be assured that you will not take those steps alone. Okay?"

It helped, a little. I managed a smile and a hopefully sincere, "Thank you," before opening the door for some fresh air.

He didn't say anything else as he led the way into a high-rise building, all glass and chrome, and a bank of elevators. We went up and up and up and my heart beat faster with every floor. What if Smith betrayed us and wanted both Ragnar and I dead? What if it was all a trap? My thoughts flew in wild directions, completely impossible directions, and I gripped the straps of my backpack until my fingers went numb.

I couldn't have said how we got from the elevators to the beautiful reception area of a large office, and I couldn't have described the secretary who led us into the back of the office to a private suite for all the money in the world. And then we stood there in the doorway and a tall man rose from behind a desk, his hair iron gray and his expression devoid of any type of human emotion. Until he smiled at Kaiser, shaking his hand, and the pretense of the gray-haired man being human showed up in full force.

And then his odd eyes landed on me, and his expression cleared. As if he knew me. "Lucy."

I couldn't move. I recognized his voice immediately but somehow reality shifted. I couldn't really be standing in front of Smith alone. It wasn't just a bad dream. Ragnar was gone. I swallowed the knot in my throat and managed to shake Smith's hand, although he barely pressed my fingers with his. "Smith. Nice to finally meet you."

Kindness radiated from his eyes, from the wrinkles at their corners, and he gestured at the seats in front of his desk. "Welcome. I'm surprised to see you here, after not hearing from you for a few months. I assumed you weren't able to complete the new contract and had moved on to more lucrative opportunities."

"It wasn't safe to reach out. I needed to come in person." I eased into one of the chairs while Kaiser overflowed from the other, and I kept a good grip on my backpack. "Just in case."

Smith leaned back in his chair, head tilted. "Where is your partner?"

"My partner?" Everything got slow and loud around me as I stared at him, and the blood rushed through my ears until I wondered if I might barf or pass out right there in the office. Kaiser sighed and handed me another paper bag, and even though I gave him a dirty look, I took the bag. Just in case.

"Yes," Smith said. He retrieved a couple of bottles of water from a space under his desk and handed them over. "Ragnar, as I knew him."

"Ragnar was killed." It still hurt to say out loud. "Three months ago. That's why I had to come here."

"Ragnar is dead?" Smith's eyes flashed and suddenly the pupils looked alien, elongated and almost cat-like. "How? Who did it?"

"Hold on a moment," Kaiser said, cracking open one of the waters and handing it to me. "Drink, and don't forget to breathe." Then he returned his attention to Smith. "It must be noted that Ragnar was Axel's twin. So whoever killed Ragnar killed one of my family, Smith. Right now it is our duty to identify those responsible for Ragnar's death and resolve the matter."

"Of course." For half a second, I thought maybe the older man started to glow. But then I blinked and he looked like any human, perhaps someone's friendly grandfather. Smith took a deep breath and pressed his hands together in front of his chin. "Do you know who killed him, Lucy?"

"We were supposed to meet with Nick." I ran out of words and trailed off. I hadn't told this story to anyone, even though it replayed in my head over and over again. "Ragnar thought something was off with the last message we received from him, so he had me stay back to observe while he went to the meeting. Nick was late. He didn't — he never showed up. A bunch of guys wearing black masks surrounded Ragnar. They came out of nowhere. He fought them. I tried to get out there, I tried to..."

I cleared my throat a couple of times in an effort to go on, but it didn't help. So I just shrugged and waited, staring at his obsessively neat desk and a stack of manila folders on the corner.

"Nick," Smith said. He calmly shifted a box of tissues toward my side of the desk without comment, and took a deep breath. "And this was three months ago, you said?"

"Almost exactly." I concentrated on the tissues in the pretty pink flowery box, the most ridiculously out-of-place thing in his office. "I never heard anything else from Nick, but I didn't try to contact him again. I figured either he was the reason they knew we were there, or they discovered him and killed him."

"He's alive." The investigator glanced at the large clock on the wall, debating, then said, "Screw it," under his breath. He retrieved a glass bottle from somewhere inside his desk and set out three glasses. "Normally, I would not suggest drinking before lunch, but I admit I could use a little liquid courage right now."

Kaiser nodded and handed me a glass with a few fingers of something smooth and amber, taking his own as Smith raised his glass in a toast. The older man closed his eyes briefly before he spoke. "To Ragnar. May the strength of three be in your journey."

The liquor burned all the way down, even though I only sipped.

Smith set his glass aside with deliberate care and braced his hands on the desk. "Nick is alive. He helped a friend of mine escape when BadCreek kidnapped her, and he was there when Kaiser's men grabbed Adams, the financier. Would Nick recognize you?"

"Yes." Pounding a shot of liquor on an empty stomach wasn't the best idea. I immediately felt warm and fuzzy and a little wobbly, enough that I had to grip the arms of my chair, and I put the glass back on Smith's desk, still half-full. "He gave us good information before things went bad. I brought it with me."

A phone rang, and Kaiser made a face. He checked it and eased to his feet. "If you'll excuse me a moment," he said, and wandered into the hall.

I took the opportunity and fixed Smith with my deadliest look. "I want the assholes who killed Ragnar. They have to be in Nick's group. I know it. He knows what happened."

"We can get to Nick if you don't mind being bait." Smith's humanity faded and I faced the scariest son of a bitch I'd ever seen. His teeth looked small and sharp as he leaned over the desk. "I thought he was on our side but we will find out either way. Meet me tonight and we can discuss this more," and he glanced at where Kaiser paced, out of earshot.

"I don't want them involved," I said, though it felt like a betrayal. Axel had just as much right to kill Ragnar's murderers as I did. "This is mine."

"You and two other individuals with a score to settle." Smith wrote something on a business card, handing it to me, then tossed me a cheap plastic cell phone. "My number is programmed into the first speed dial. You can use this to contact me. I'll introduce you to some of my colleagues."

I shoved the phone in my backpack as I lifted it to my lap, just as Kaiser returned to the office and flopped into the chair. It creaked loudly as he shifted his weight, and the alpha bear blinked long and slow. "A little drama with the financier. Apparently Lacey Szdoka wants to kill him herself. With her bare hands."

"I don't blame her," Smith said, his expression more human but still cold. "I offered to send that human into a very specific sort of hell, but the Chases declined."

"Hard to believe," I said. I fished through my backpack to pull out the file folder of notes from our first set of meetings with Nick. "We have background on Nick..." I trailed off, clearing my throat and reconsidering whether I could afford more liquor on an empty stomach, but steeled myself to go on. "I have background on Nick, the alpha, and the top betas. Structure of the pack, preferred fighting styles, external supporters. Lots of detailed information. If it's true, anyway."

Smith patted the stack of files on the corner of his desk. "We have other information. We can compare the two and figure out where the truth exists."

"Good." Part of me relaxed as I began to work through the material, sketching out the organization of the BadCreek pack, describing the alpha and his minions, and filling in gaps in their knowledge. It helped that, more than once, both Smith and Kaiser made surprised or impressed noises and asked follow-up questions. It at least confirmed that I hadn't sucked at my job and we earned our pay from Smith.

The conversation shifted and turned, covering all possible bases, and eventually Smith had his secretary order lunch. We took over a small conference room near his office, spreading out across the long table and using the dry erase boards on the walls to map out the connections. By mid-afternoon, my brain and body were completely drained of energy. I could hardly think, staring at the spider's web of relationships on the white board, and my eyes drooped.

Kaiser glanced over at me at one point, and balled up the wrapper on his sandwich. "We might need to call it a day, Smith."

The investigator, still staring at the board, nodded. "Yes. Perhaps tomorrow we can bring Edgar into the conversation, see what else Meadow and Isobel can contribute to our understanding."

Kaiser shook his hand before helping me up from the chair. Smith pressed my fingers with his once more, a reassuring gentleness, but his eyes practically glowed as he looked at me. "We will get to the bottom of this, young lady, and we will make sure they pay for Ragnar's death."

"Thank you." I gathered up my backpack and personal notes, and thought of the throwaway cell phone in the bottom of the bag, along with the business card. We'd be meeting up to discuss sooner rather than later. There was just the small problem of getting out of the bears' apartment building and across the city to meet Smith.

But I followed Kaiser out of the office and back into the elevator, down and down until we reached the lobby full of happy people on business. They walked through the world, unaware of the magic that existed around them, and immune to the terrible consequences when magic went awry. I envied them the tiniest bit. The fox thought they were dull and blind. We kept up a silent argument in my head as we followed the alpha bear back to the car. He'd barely put it into drive before I fell asleep in the heated seat.