Back To You (13 page)

He made love to me that night.  It was easier now.  The fee
ling of passion taking over was so amazing.  I had thought I would feel guilty or something when I gave up my virginity.  Nope.  It just felt good.  Afterward, we stayed in the bed, talking low about anything and everything.  Finally the coke I had drunk that night hit my bladder and I had to get up.  I grabbed his shirt and put it on as I dashed down the hall to the bathroom.

When I came back into my bedroom, he was propped up on one elbow, waiting for me. 

“Wait.”  He said. “Stop right there.”

“What?”  I asked.

“I just want to see you like that, so I can remember it.”  And he began humming a song with his deep voice rumbling in his chest.

*****

Jack loved this feeling.  Suzy grabbed his red shirt when she went to the bathroom.  Earlier, he had slowly taken her hair out of the braid, so it hung over her shoulders, disheveled from having sex.  When she came back into the room, he stopped her, wanting to capture that image in his mind forever.  He started humming one of his favorite songs.

Hmm
hmmhmmhmmmmm...

The light from the hallway lit up her hair so it glowed.

Hmmmhmm...

She smiled at him like he was crazy.  Her face still a li
ttle flushed.

Hmmmm...

The shirt was the only thing she had on and it barely came to her upper thigh.  He could see her silhouette as the light shone around her.

Hmmmm...

He never wanted to stop feeling this way.

Hmmm
hmmm...

He never wanted to forget how she looked that night.

Jack reached his arms up, welcoming her to them.  Overwhelmed by the way he felt.  Hearing the words of the song go through his head as she embodied everything the song had to say.

Suzy gladly went to Jack.  She sat down beside him and he kept singing and humming under his breath.

Hmmmmmhmmmm looking so gorgeous tonight

Hmmmm you shine so bright
…

Hmmmhmmmhmmhmmmm
…took my breath away.

HmmmHmmmm complete and utter love.

Jack pulled her to him and rolled over on her, kissing her in between the words while he whispered.

My

He k
issed her cheek

Lady

Her other cheek

In

Her nose

Red

Her forehead

I

Kisses on her eyes

Love

Her chin

You.

And finally he brushed her lips with his.  His fingers brushing her cheek before he kissed her long and hard.  And they were so tightly wrapped in each other’s arms and hearts that they had no idea where one ended and the other began.

*****

I actually swooned.  Jack was singing to me.  It was a moment I wouldn’t forget for the rest of my life.  It was amazing.  When he left that night, I so wanted to keep his shirt, being able to smell him on my skin and feel him with me.  I couldn’t keep his shirt because he would have some interesting explaining to do when he got home half naked.  I really wanted to keep the good first impression I made with his parents.  Perhaps one day I would know what it felt like to wake up in his arms.  Until then, I could only dream. 

I was happily asleep by the time Mom got home, drea
ming of deep kisses, tender touches, and other things.  The next day I was completely oblivious to anything and everything except hearing the sound of his humming over and over in my mind.  Until everything came to a screeching halt and brought me back to reality.

Mom had been sitting at the table, drinking and smoking when she called me in there.

“We need to go shopping soon.”  She said. 

“Shopping?”

“For your trip to California.”

“My...?  Oh!  Oh no!”  My trip to see Dad.  I w
ould be gone for five weeks this time.  Five weeks suddenly sounded like an eternity.  My stomach dropped to my toes.

“And before you ask, yes, you have to go.”  Mom stopped me mid-sentence.

“I...Of course.  I know I have to go.”  I looked at my feet. 

I knew that my trip to California was both a blessing and a curse to my mother.  I knew that she needed her own time, her own space so she could take a deep breath without me around.  I
wasn’t stupid, everyone needed that.  I figured she had a chance to go out without worrying about me, but she also had a chance to let down her guard and allow herself a moment or two of weakness when I couldn’t see it.

But it was a curse too.  When I would spend weekends with Dad and Sharon, Mom would tell people it took her a week to repr
ogram me.  I never really understood what she meant until I was a little older.  I guess kids change depending on the environment.  When I was at Dad’s, I had a good relationship with Sharon and we did lots of fun stuff together.  We played games like Hungry Hungry Hippos and clue with Bryan, at least until Dad couldn’t handle the noise any more.  I guess that I became someone a little different when I was there.  It must have been part of my personality to become whomever the people I was with expected me to be.  And when I was with Dad and Sharon, I enjoyed feeling like I was part of a normal family, even if Sharon was a bit goofy and Bryan was a brat at times.  But when I came home, I had to readjust back to the Suzy who lived with Mom.  And I guess that took a little bit of time when I was younger, before I caught on and could change before I walked back through Mom’s door.

Summers with Dad were different though.  I didn’t have to do quick changes of personality so much.  My life with Mom was tough sometimes, but I wouldn’t have changed it much.  She had her issues for sure.  I worried about her more than any tee
nage girl should have to worry.  Sometimes I just wanted to slap her face and make her wake up and realize what was going on outside of her self-destructive mode.  I wanted to dump the liquor down the drain and crush all of her cigarettes and tell her that I loved her and wanted her to stop this downward spiral of self loathing.  I wanted to hug her.  But she just wasn’t like that.  Stoic was a good word.  Not cold, but maybe too afraid to let the emotions overwhelm her, because once they did, there was no going back.  The dam would break.  It was safer to just let it be.  We never argued.  We just avoided the conversation.

My life was pretty good in a lot of ways.
  Actually, my life was freaking fantastic.  The thought of leaving for five weeks was devastating.  I was used to leaving Mom, but I had never had to leave a boyfriend before.  I was pretty sure it would be the most miserable summer of my life.

“Jack?”  I said on the phone later that day.  “I have to leave in about a week to go see my dad.  I know I told you b
efore, but…”

A sigh from the other end of the line.  “I know.  I was
just thinking about that the other day.  Is it really just a week?”

“Yes, unfortunately.”

He perked up a little bit.  “Then let’s do something fun before you go.  We can get the group together and, well, I will think of something.”

“I don’t want to go.  I will miss you.”

“I wish you didn’t have to go too, Suzy Q, but we will be okay.  We will write and call, and before you know it, you will be back home in my arms.”

I smile
d at the thought.

*****

Jack had been was dreading that conversation.  He wasn’t sure how well he was going to handle having her gone for over a month.  Not being able to just call and talk to her every night.  He felt like he was losing his right arm.  He had forgotten how to function without her in such a short time.  He was afraid of feeling lost and alone again while she was gone.  He had never realized how lonely he was until she came into his life.  And now, a cold feeling sat in the pit of his stomach just thinking about it.

Jack knew that he loved Suzy.  And she loved him.  And when you really loved someone, time and distance didn’t matter.  It would be lonely, but they would be okay. 
He focused his energy on planning a fun night for all of them so she knew she would be missed.  He also wanted to plan a fun night with just the two of them.  If he focused on that, he could smile.

C
hapter 11

Jack had everything all set.  It would be perfect.  Randy and Paulette, Lee and Lindsey and the two of them would be going out the night before Suzy left.  First they would go to get some dinner then off to Monopoly’s for some dancing.  Once he dropped everyone off, he had something nice planned for just the two of them.

Suzy’s mom also asked him if he wanted to go with them to the airport the next day.  Of course!  He wanted to spend every single minute he could with her before she had to leave.  But he didn’t wa
nt to think about her leaving.  He just wanted to have fun that night.

*****

I was almost all packed.  I just had to pack up the last minute stuff after getting ready to go out tonight and again in the morning.  I had really mixed feelings about tonight.  Actually about my whole trip.  I was excited to be hanging out with what had become really great friends for a going away party.  I was also dying to find out what the surprise was that Jack had when we were alone.  I knew I was going to miss them all.  Usually I was excited to go out to California, but this year, I would rather stay home.  I mean, I was still excited about going in some ways.  I can see my old friends and make some new ones too, thanks to Leah.  Still, five weeks is a really long time to go without hearing Jack’s deep voice or feeling his arms around me.

Jack picked me up first because we wanted to make ev
ery moment last.  We picked up Randy and then Paulette and headed to a local hangout for dinner.  There were lots of people we knew there too.

T
easing, Jack, Randy and Lee came down on me pretty hard for not knowing ALL of the Van Halen songs that they loved. 

“Hey, I am trying!  But I don’t have all of their stuff at home.”  I tried to plead my case, without much success.

“That is why we made you this to take with you.”  And Randy pulled out a homemade cassette of every single Van Halen song he could get on there.

“Besides, you need something
decent to listen to on the plane.” laughed Lee.

“Aw, guys, that’s so sweet!”  Paulette and Lindsey laughed at me.  They produced a silly going away card too.
  I was touched that they had done that for me.  I finally felt like a part of a crowd.  Granted, we were quite an interesting group of kids, but we were friends.  And for once, I didn’t feel like I was the odd one out.

After we were done eating, we headed over to Monop
oly’s to dance our asses off.  It was a completely new experience to walk in on the arm of a guy, instead of walking in alone or with Reneigh, hoping to see the guy you longed to be with.  I really liked this feeling.  Even Justin the DJ smiled down at me and gave me the thumbs up sign.

I excused myself before we got to the dance floor so I could go up and see Justin.  He
was one of the coolest guys I had ever met.  Tall, skinny as a pole and a smile that glowed in the dark, he was just a genuinely nice guy.  Of course he always asked me what I wanted him to play, and he gave me a big hug.

“Off to Cali again, huh?  Has it really been a year?”

“Yep.”  I was thumbing through the 45’s.  “But this year it is a little harder to leave.”

“I can see that,” he laughed.  “You gonna introduce me?”

“Of course Justin!  His name is Jack.”

“Well, it looks like he is one of the smart ones.”

“What do you mean by that?”  Justin knew all about my ill-fated crushes since I would spend time up in the “jail” with him when I wasn’t dancing.  Most of the time I was lamenting that Pete wasn’t dancing with me instead of other girls.  He always made me feel better about myself.  And special, because no one was allowed into the “jail” unless invited.  I was one of about four people allowed.  I listened to his worries about his love life and fiancée, and he listened to mine about Pete.

“I mean that he is smart enough to ask you out and stick around long enough to know what a great girl you are.”

I smiled and gave him a big hug.  “Thanks.  He’s pretty special too.”

“From the way he is staring up here, I would guess that
he is in love with you.”

I blushed.  “Yes, he is.”

“Then you better get your butt back down there and dance with him.”  He laughed.

“Thanks Justin.”

“I am guessing some of the usual songs then?”

“Yes, please.  And this one too.”  I handed him “Lady in Red”.

“Mmmm.  Good choice.”

The rest of the night consisted of head-banging, bum
ping, grinding and slow dancing until we were all dripping with sweat and ready to fall down with exhaustion.  During the fast songs, we kept swapping partners and dancing in a group, but the slow songs were reserved for our significant others.  I didn’t mind that at all.

At one point, Justin announced that the next song was for me from Jack.  I thought it was going to be “Lady in Red”, but it wasn’t.  Instead he played “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Cla
pton.  I looked at Jack in surprise.

“I introduced myself to him while y’all were in the bat
hroom one night.”  He explained.  And then he had me close to him, moving me with his body as we danced as one person.  He made it so easy.  And yes, the electricity was still there.  He hummed and sang along resting his cheek on the top of my head.  Then “Lady in Red” came on.  I don’t think my feet actually touched the ground, especially when he kissed me.  After the kiss, he touched his forehead to mine, looked me in the eyes and whispered that he loved me.  MMMMMM, heaven.

Midnight came
fast, and before we knew it, the last song was being played.  We headed out to the cars to leave.  One last hug for both Lee and Lindsey, and the rest of us piled up in the Blazer.  Another hug to Paulette and Randy as we dropped them off.  And finally, we were alone again.

“So wha
t’s this surprise you have for me?”  I asked playfully.

He chuckled, “Y
ou’ll see.”

“Meanie.”  I pouted.

“Stop it.  You know I can’t resist you when you pout.”  He was still laughing.

I couldn’t help smil
ing, “I know.”

“Just be patient a few more minutes, okay?”

“Okie dokie.”

We drove to my house, but Mom’s car was there.  I
was so disappointed when I saw she was home.  I groaned.

“Don’t worry.  I’ve got it covered.”  He had a mischi
evous look on his face as he drove past my house.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

He drove through
the neighborhood and into a section that was under construction.  There were some cleared fields and a few houses had been started, but for the most part, it was deserted. 

“Close your eyes.  And keep them closed.”  Jack d
emanded.

I did.  It was hard, but I kept them closed.  Jack pulled to a stop and said, “Keep ‘em closed and stay there.  Don’t move.”  I sort of whined.  He laughed.

He got out of the car, opened the back hatch and rustled around in there for a minute.

“What are you doing?”

“Don’t ask.  And don’t peek.”

Okay, okay...”

After another minute or so, he came around and opened my door.  “You can only look long enough to get out of the car.”  He said.

I peeked.  I had to or I would have fallen on my face. 
“Close them again,” he said when I was safely on the ground.  He took my hand and walked me to the back of the Blazer.

“Okay, you can open them.”

I gasped.  He had brought pillows and blankets and had the back set up for us to lie on. 

“Look up.”  He said.  He had brought us to a secluded area, surrounded by trees, but had the most amazing view of the moon and stars I had seen in a long time.  He told me to hold on for another second as he ran back to the driver’s side and put in a tape. 

“Dance with me.”  And we danced.  Under the stars.  Then he led me to the blankets and pillows. 

He handed me a rose and said, “The moon is the same in Louisiana and in California.  When you look at it, you
’ll know I’m looking at it too.  We might not be able to be together, or even talk much on the phone, but we can at least stare at the moon together while you are gone.” 

I was speechless.

We made love right there.  Out in the open.  On a makeshift bed of blankets and pillows in the back of his Blazer.  With the night sky as the only witness.  It was magic.  Afterward we just stayed in each other’s arms, saying nothing.  He kissed my hair and caressed my arm.  I just curled up to him, breathing in his scent and running my fingers through the hair on his chest.

When he brought me home,
we figured Mom was awake.  We were right.  She had come home early because we had to leave pretty early to get to the airport in New Orleans.  She and Jack chatted for a few minutes about him meeting us at the house so we could go together.  He called me like he always did when he got home and we talked for a while in the darkness of our rooms.

Needless to say, I didn’t get much sleep that night.  I was afraid to fall asleep then wake up to find that the night had been a dream.  Seriously, that was the stuff you read about in romance no
vels.  Not too many teenage guys can do romantic stuff like that.  I know.  I hear the girls talking.  I was lucky to have found a good one.

*****

Jack drove to Suzy’s house in the morning, to find her dressed in a sleeveless shirt tucked into a denim skirt with a wide pink belt on.  Her suitcases were by the door, ready to go.  Suzy’s mom took a picture of them together before they headed to the airport.  Her mom didn’t even mind when they sat in the back seat together, leaving her up front, alone.  They held hands, kissed a little and just wavered between happiness and dread of her spending so much time away.  Suzy and her mom bantered back and forth a little on the drive down, with Jack piping in here and there.  All in all, it was a good trip.  Until she had to leave. 

At the gate, he handed her a different cassette to take on the plane.  “Just so you don’t forget me with all of those half naked sur
fers hanging around you.”  He smiled and touched her cheek with his thumb.  He couldn’t take it when her lip trembled a little and her eyes began watering.  “Don’t cry.  I will be right here when you get back.  I promise.”

“No crying.  Check.”  He could tell she was struggling.  She put the tape in her carry-on bag.

“Walkman?”  He asked.

“Check.”

“Headphones?”

“Check.”

“Extra batteries?”

“Right here.”

Her mom piped in, “Book?”  Suzy rolled her eyes. 

“Like I would forget a book, Mom.”

Someone announced the flight was boarding over the intercom.  With one last hug to both Jack and her mom, Suzy walked down the tunnel to her plane.  She only looked back once, but Jack knew it was because she wouldn’t have continued walking if she looked back again.

The ride back with Suzy’s mom was fairly uneventful.  They talked about all kinds of stuff.  When they pulled into their driveway, she said, “She loves you a lot, you know.”

“I love her too.”

“Good.  She needs you in her life.”

Jack nodded.  That was all she needed to say.  She didn’t want him to hurt her daughter.  She knew that they had shared more with each other than any other person had shared with Suzy.  Her mom wasn’t the type to interfere, but she was scared of Suzy’s heart getting broken.  He understood.  As he pulled out of the driveway, he waved to Suzy’s mom and headed home.  It was going to be a long five weeks.

*****

The plane trip was long and boring.  Luckily for me this was a rare non-stop flight all the way to Cali.  And even luckier was that I had the row of seats all to myself.  So I took out my headphones and walkman, popped in a tape and just sat back and enjoyed. 

Once
I had gotten on the plane, I realized that I was excited to be headed out to California to see Dad and my friends.  Sharon told me that we were going on a camping trip not long after I arrived.  I hadn’t been camping in years.  I used to love it, but now I had mixed feelings.  A camping trip for ten days with my runt of a step-brother, in tents, roughing it with Mr. Camping (my dad) and bears.  NO makeup.  NO hair stuff.  Only the basic essentials.  Greeeaaat. 

Both Dad and Sharon were there to pick me up.  Lots of hugs and “welcome back’s” and chatting about the plane ride were going on for the first few minutes while we waited for my luggage to pop out of the wall.  No matter how much I knew I was going to miss Mom and Jack and my friends at home, I rea
lly did love to be with Dad and Sharon, and even Bryan (though I would never tell him that). 

It was a busy day, and of course I had to see Leah that day too.  I hung out with Dad and Sharon until bedtime, dreading but desiring the alone time.  I was even too tired to go for a swim in their pool.  That was tomorrow for sure.