B00BR2BOUU EBOK (25 page)

Olivia was sitting up at table eating
a bowl of fruit salad while Jen was in a ‘Graeme Blaxlo’ modified seat, for
twin feeding.

“Afternoon, Lex, feel better?”

“Why didn’t you wake me sooner?”

“Because there was no need, you obviously needed the rest
and recoup.”

“Yeah, apparently I did, thanks. As usual, my dear, you are
my saviour, my confidante and my awesome fuc...” I glanced at Olivia then over
to Jen whose eyebrows had nearly hit the roof.

“Fuuhhc...vorite, favourite, my favourite sister.” Olivia
giggled at my long held ‘uuhhhh’ note so I leaned over her bowl and pinched a
strawberry.

“Your Mummy is my favourite sister, Miss Olivia.” She smiled
and offered me her half eaten piece of Banana as well.

“I’m your only sister.”

“Well, aren’t you lucky?”

“Hmmm,” was all she could respond with.

“Well you are my favourite, thanks Jen, thanks for
yesterday.” I walked over and gave her a kiss on the forehead, careful not to
interrupt the two milk devouring babies.

“I do have to get going, though. Rick is probably already at
Mum and Dad’s.”

“He is, Mum rang just before you woke up.”
Shit. Crap.
Balls.
I sighed and turned back for the guest room.

***

Jen had given me a sandwich, together with a ‘be strong’ hug
as I walked out the door. The hug had lasted most of the journey to Mum and
Dad’s, but when I approached the farm and spied Rick, Nate and Charlotte riding
around the paddock on their bikes, the ‘be strongness’ I had possessed, had
morphed into ‘be ridiculously immature’. Rick noticed the Territory pull in and
cruised over to open the gate for me. I stupidly locked the doors as I watched
him get off his bike.
That is going to help you how? Alexis.
Thank
goodness my sunglasses were on and offered me a slight disguise. I would have
much preferred an astronaut’s helmet or one of those bio-hazardous suits, but
unfortunately they were unavailable. I drove past him as he stood by the open
gate, then waved to both the kids and signalled them to follow me to the house.
My heart was beating off the Richter scale, I had missed my ratbags terribly
and seeing them for the first time in a week made me desperate to get out and
have the longest embrace ever, but I also wanted to remain in my securely
locked automobile, safely away from any form of deep and meaningful conversation
with Rick.
Get out of the car, Alexis, and woman-up!
Nate was first to
the car, grabbing the handle before I had a chance to unlock it.
Shit.
I
pressed the open-padlock button, and the door sprung open.

“Hi, Mum, are you feeling better?” he asked excitedly.
Feeling
better? Oh, yes, migraine!

“Yes, darling, it was just a bad headache.” Charli came to a
halt, removed her helmet and ran to the passenger side, hopping in next to me.

“Mum, I missed you so much! So where is it?” I looked at her
bemused.

“Where’s what?”

“My signed napkin, from Sierra Thomas.”
Shit, it’s still
in the clutch I took to the Tel Vs.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I left it at work.” She looked
disappointed.
Quick Alexis, what is the first rule when accidently
disappointing your children out of forgetfulness? Bribe or offer something
else!
“I do have something else for you, but you’ll have to wait till later.”
The excitement of the unknown had her reeling.
Good save!
She did her
happy-clap, and it dawned on me that I often did the same thing. It was so good
to see the two adorable loves of my life, it was the first feeling of joy I’d
had since Bryce walked in the morning before with breakfast and ‘Brylexis’.
My
rings, crap!
“Okay you two, out you get.” As they exited the car I quickly
removed all rings from my fingers and placed them in the glove box. I hopped
out of the car and secured both Nate and Charli in my arms, giving them the
biggest bear hug in history. They both then ran into the house to get a drink.
Rick pulled up moments later, and approached the car offering to help. I
instantly turned my back to him and reached for my suitcase

“I’ll get that.” He said.

“I’m fine, I can handle it.” I snapped back.

He nodded and stepped back. “Lex, I was wondering if you
wanted to go to the pub tonight for a quiet drink and talk, just the two of
us.”

I moved my sunglasses down my nose and glared at him. “No.”

“We need to talk, you can’t just shut me out.”

“Listen Rick, I will play happy families with you today in
front of the kids for their sake and that’s it.”

“Alexis, I have the next couple of days off work, so I’m
staying. We need to talk, if you are not ready today, then perhaps you will be
tomorrow.”

I glared at him, then instantly had to turn it to a smile
when Nate came back outside.

“Dad, Poppa needs me to close the gate in the stock yards,
can you come with me?”

“Sure, mate. Come on then, I’ll race ya.” Nate took off. Rick
deliberately gave him a head start so that he could cement the fact he was not
leaving with the most stubborn glance I had ever seen.
Phew, thank you,
Nate. Good, now fuck off, Rick, and give me some space.

***

Mum indicated with her head to follow her into the next room
as I walked through the door. Charli was on the sofa watching TV and Mum
obviously did not want her to hear what she had to say. I had not even put my
suitcase down when she wrapped her arms around me then held me back for the
‘mother inspection’.

“Are you okay, Alexis? I can tell something is terribly
wrong, your eyes have evidence of an endurance of crying and now Rick has shown
up unannounced and acting very strange. I’m assuming due to that icy reception,
that you are still separated?”
I need to tell her, but if I do that now I
can’t be sure I will not break down again.
I let go of the suitcase handle
and touched her arms.

“Mum, I can’t go into it now because if I do, I guarantee
you I will lose it. Look, yes we are still separated and no, I am not all
right, but he wanted to see the kids, which was fair enough. They probably
wanted to see him, too, and I am not about to punish them by keeping their Dad
away. He knows I have no intention of going home now, not till the end of the
week anyway. Is that all right with you?”

“Of course darling, stay as long as you need. Is Rick
staying tonight too?”

I cringed at the thought.

“Yes.”
Shit, where is he going to sleep? The kids will
notice if he sleeps on the couch.

“Okay, do you want me to put the trundle bed in with you?”
She gave me a ‘Mum can fix anything’ look.

“Yes, please. Thanks Mum.”

***

Dinner was the most awkward moment I think I have ever
endured, more awkward than the time I accidently joined a funeral procession on
a hot summer’s day with my car windows down, playing ACDC as loud as I could
and screaming out Thunderstruck. I had no idea I was behind a hearse, until I
looked in my rear-view mirror and noticed a good twenty cars lined up behind me
with their lights on. This dinner topped that in the awkward stakes, believe it
or not. Every time Rick looked up, I looked down, then I would look up and he
would look down, then Mum would look up, and we both would look down, Dad,
however, just watched the news. Thank goodness for Charli and her ability to
never shut up, because she managed to keep the entire dinner conversation
focussed on how she was auditioning for the school play of Robin Hood.

The awkwardness after dinner wasn’t nearly as bad though,
Rick and Dad watched a movie with the kids while Mum and I played cards. It
wasn’t really that much different from other nights we have spent at the farm,
apart from the massive elephant, invisible to the kids, standing idly in the
corner of the room. I kissed my munchkins goodnight and headed for the bedroom
in the hope I would be fast asleep before Rick came in. I’d removed my top when
the door opened and he entered. I quickly covered my chest with it and shot
daggers at him.

“Do you mind? Get out.”

“Lexi, I think I have seen you naked before, in fact I’m
positive I have.”

“It’s different now, get out.”

“Okay, Okay. I’ll go to the toilet.” He left the room and my
pulse automatically quickened. He was right, obviously he had seen me naked
more times than I could ever count, but it seemed weird now, dirty and horribly
wrong. I ravaged through my suitcase, found the nightie I had grabbed from home
and quickly put it on without removing my underwear. I jumped into bed making
sure the covers were well and truly doing what they suggested.

Rick came back in and ‘tutted’ at my modest display, then
showed absolutely no sign of the same bashfulness and removed his clothing
entirely. He reluctantly climbed into the trundle bed, and over exaggerated his
discomfort by rotating like a crocodile doing a death roll for a good minute or
two. I knew he was far from impressed at the thought of sleeping on the hugely
uncomfortable makeshift bed, but he had more sense than to argue this very
generous arrangement on my part. I turned off the lamp making the room
completely black and silent. You could have cut the air with a knife, I swear I
even heard crickets chirp, but then again we were on a farm, and the chance of
crickets actually chirping outside the bedroom window was a high probability.

“Alexis, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what? Apologise for fucking up?”

I lowered my voice, I knew from experience that the voices
in this house travelled.

“Just don’t even go there, Rick.”

“Where is there? We need to talk, and that’s what I’m
doing.”

I hushed him. “Shhh. I don’t want to hear your excuses.”

“You need to know why I did it.”

“It doesn’t matter why, now shut up or you can sleep in the
car.” I turned over making it obvious that the conversation was over.

***

In the morning when I woke, he was still asleep on the
trundle, although his leg was half on the floor and his neck and back were
uncomfortably bent and misshaped.
Suffer, I hope you ache like hell when you
wake up.
I tip-toed out of the room, feeling a little better after having
seen his obviously unpleasant sleeping position. Mum was in the kitchen, she
was always the first to rise and as soon as she saw me approach she turned on
the kettle. I walked directly up to her and placed my head on her shoulder, she
did what most loving mother’s would and embraced her daughter, regardless of
her daughter’s age.

“How did last night go, darling?”

“Thankfully, sleep means you do not have to communicate with
the conscious world and those who are in it.”

She kissed my head then broke away to make us both a cup of
tea.

“Go and sit out on the porch. We can talk there without unwelcome
ears hearing us.” I did as instructed and waited for her to join me, which was
not long at all.

“Mum, it is such a long and detailed story so I am going to
break it down in point form, and I don’t want you to say anything until I’m
done.” She sipped her drink then nodded. “Okay, here goes. I’ve fallen in love
with my boss, Bryce, and he with me. Rick told me he had an affair 5 years ago.
I left him to be with Bryce. Yesterday, Rick came to work and told me he lied
about having an affair. I asked him why? He said because he thought I needed to
be with Bryce to get it off my chest. He also said Bryce gave him five million
dollars to let me stay with him.” Mum spat the contents of her mouthful back
into her mug.
So, that’s where I get it from?
  “And that’s about it.” I
looked out over the valley and sipped my tea. She followed suit, but didn’t
speak straight away.

“Who do you love the most, Alexis?”

“It shouldn’t be about choosing, Mum.”

“But, darling, it is if they both love and want you.”
Ah
shit, she’s right, but did I have to choose?

“I don’t have to choose either one of them, Mum.”

“No, you are quite right, but you will. So, did Rick keep
the money?”

“As far as I know, yes.” She sipped her drink again, and the
child in me thought about backwash.
Eeww.
The door opened and Dad came
out, he wiggled in beside me and put his arm around my shoulder.

“So my princess, do I need to get my gun out?”

I smiled lovingly at my Dad and his tough father act. “No,
but I might get it out instead.” He pulled me in for a hug. A daughter is never
too old for her Daddy’s hugs, a Daddy’s hug is the most reassuring, precious
and secure feeling imaginable, and I loved having one from my dad, even if was
35. He knew without a doubt that something was not right where Rick was concerned,
it was like a sixth sense he had when it came to his daughters and the men in
their lives. Dad chose not to meddle and not to ask for detailed information,
he was content with the fact he had raised strong and capable daughters with
level heads on their shoulders, daughters who could handle their problems
themselves. He was however, always there, ready, willing and able, if ever we
felt we needed him.

***

We ate breakfast at staggered times, suiting me just fine as
another awkward meal together was not something anyone wanted. I headed
straight for the shower after breakfast, then got dressed in my jeans, boots
and a fitted white shirt. I dilly-dallied, wasting as much time as possible in
the bathroom doing my hair, and then re-doing my hair to waste some more time.
Alexis,
you are being ridiculous, just go and talk to him, get it over and done with.
By the time I finally re-emerged from my shower, Rick was outside kicking the
football with the kids. I ran up and intercepted a mark praising myself as I
did it. They all smiled at me, but their smiles were not ones of praise for my
ball marking skills, they were smiles of ridicule at my boasting, well maybe
not Charli’s.