Atonement (The Atonement Series) (21 page)

Colin opened up a bottle of crisp Chardonnay and we toasted before sipping from our plastic cups.

“Talk about the life. This is what I call a vacation,” he enthused as he took off his shirt. He revealed not only his finely muscled chest and toned torso but also a black tribal scorpion tattoo that went from his shoulder blades almost down to his waist as he lay back against the sun lounger.

I didn’t particularly care for tattoos though I had a small butterfly on the inside of my left ankle; a rebellious mistake I’d done on a whim when I was nineteen though I’d never considered having it removed. Colin’s tattoo, on the other hand, was sexy as hell to me and a major turn on because it wasn’t expected on someone who resembled the perfect model for Abercrombie & Fitch.

I removed my babydoll dress and lay back in my modest bikini. Many women chose to wear bottoms but had their breasts out to get an even tan but I’d been blessed with a healthy olive complexion so I didn’t need a tan. Besides, I had never been that comfortable with my body though I admired women who were.

Not that there was anything wrong with me. I was a perfectly slender young woman with a small waist, a flat stomach, nice legs and thighs and arms that were faintly muscled but I certainly wasn’t ready to show off the twins to every man who walked by and wanted a free show. That was never me and it never would be.

Colin turned toward me as he swigged from his wine again. “When’s the last time you’ve been here other than the funeral in early December last year?”

“In France or Nice particularly?” I inquired before I sipped from my wine.

“France.”

I thought about it and tried not to let all the feelings rushing through me affect my voice when I answered, “A couple years ago. We all came over to see my grandparents but before we visited them, we stopped here in Nice. There is a great ‘beach town’ quality without the rowdy teenagers feel to the place but it is an enjoyable city never-the-less.”

“It must be hard for you then, I mean knowing that was the last time you will ever come back to this place with your father.”

“Not really. There was a small fuss but my grandparents insisted he be buried here in the family plot so my father will always be here in France. Mom took it hard but she got over it in the end and Cait just said to look at it as a way to get some vacation time in when we want to visit Dad. She’s always been like that—vivacious, alive, looking on the bright side of everything. And I’ve always been on the depressive side and angst-ridden. I really don’t want to blame the death of my real mom at such a young age but perhaps that has something to do with it. I really don’t know and shouldn’t speculate to be honest.”

Colin stared at me intently with bright crystal blue eyes. “What do you feel about your sister dating Liam then? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t know how common it is—I mean, for sisters to date brothers and what not.”

“Well, it’s common enough. Christy Turlington’s sister married Ed Burns’ brother after they tied the knot. I certainly don’t think they are the only ones but they are the most famous pair I know about so I’m sure it’s not as uncommon as you think.”

I paused on reflection. “Think about it. If a group of people hang out and you see each other enough, some of the people in that group are going to begin to pair off. Caitlyn’s a grown woman and she knows what she’s doing. She’s been over twenty-one for a while now and she has a good head on her shoulders. I truly think you and her brother will work out fine if that is what she really wants.”

Colin sat up and crossed his legs, Indian-style, as he handed my pre-made ham and cheese baguette sandwich to me while he grabbed his tuna baguette sandwich. “So, it doesn’t bother you in the slightest my brother is a hard core player who might be playing your sister? I’ve never known him to have one meaningful relationship in his life. He’s just not
wired
that way.”

“As I said before, it’s not my concern.” I bit into my crisp baguette sandwich and chewed, savoring the delicious flavor of the ham, the bitter-sweet accents from the cheese and creamy butter which had been added to the sandwich in lieu of mayonnaise.

“You seem pretty blasé about the whole situation. I mean she
is
your younger sister,” he finally responded after an interminable silence between the two of us.

“Jesus, what the hell is this, the Spanish Inquisition?” I finally snapped. “Liam is into Cait and Cait is definitely into Liam—case closed. She doesn’t date often and she’s definitely not the one-night-stand type.”
Unlike me
, I almost added but then again, neither was I. Liam was definitely an anomaly and the one night we spent together would certainly
never
happen again.

“Listen, I didn’t bring all this shit up for you to get angry. When you speak to her again just
warn
her, all right? My brother is nothing like he appears to be and that’s the problem. He seems cool and happy-go-lucky but that couldn’t be further from the truth. He’s got some demons he’s been wrestling with and I don’t want your sister to get hurt, okay? Furthermore, I don’t want him dicking around your sister to cost us what we have so I am speaking from a purely selfish motive,” he said in a tender voice.

It immediately soothed my anger and I set my sandwich down, leaned over and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Listen, what ever happens between Cait and Liam doesn’t have anything to do with us. I wouldn’t dump you just because they didn’t work out. That’s not the way I operate. Unfortunately, I fell for you the first night Drew brought you by and I have been fighting these feelings all this time. I won’t go as far to say I love you…yet…but if you keep workin’ that magic, I will and there’s nothing anyone can say about it. Remember, I’ve been over twenty-one for a while too.”

Colin looked more relieved than anything before he brought me closer and kissed me. When our lips met, the feeling was gentle and tentative at first but the moment his tongue touched mine, all rational thought left my mind and I was there, in that moment.

We finally came up for air but not before kissing each other again with quick pecks on the lips meant to satisfy and sate a pleasure not yet experienced. We had a while to be on the Promenade and no way were we giving up our prized seats that quickly.

“You drive me crazy, woman,” he whispered.

“Same to you,” I said in a quiet voice. “I don’t know what the hell kind of mojo you’re working but it’s definitely done something to me and I don’t want it to stop, ever.”

“If I had my way, it wouldn’t ever stop. You’re the one and you know how hard that is for me to say? I am so scared you will think about us and this and realize it is just some vacation thing and when we get back to Seattle, everything will be different. I don’t want to be apart from you and I definitely know something…and someone real when I meet them. This is no phony, pit of my stomach thing, Deirdre, you’re the real deal.”

I laughed out loud as we separated. “I better be because I’m not the type who takes relationships lightly and I don’t do the ‘vacation romance’. It’s not how I’m
wired
. It’s great we get to spend so much time together because the more I get to know you, the more I want to be with you and there’s nothing wrong with what we have. It’s perfect.”

Colin refilled both our glasses with Chardonnay and we finished off our sandwiches before we lay out again and held hands like an old married couple. The warm touch from his palm radiated through me and caused a slight tingle to settle all over my flesh but I was exactly where I wanted to be and that made all the difference in the world.

Chapter Fourteen

TIME FLIES WHEN
you’re having fun and after a few blissful days in Nice, we traded in the beach for the more calming atmosphere of Berlin. We were definitely hopping around but we’d decided to play it by ear and the feeling felt great.

Instead of a great apartment overlooking the beach, we had a studio apartment in the heart of the city. I wouldn’t have wanted to exaggerate but I loved the feel of Berlin mostly because it was just so different from the south of France. Colin and I settled into the city quickly and by the second day, we had enjoyed a tour of east Berlin though it was considered dangerous due to the skinhead and neo-Nazi activity, he was willing to risk it for me. Despite my degrees, I’d always had an intense love with photography and thus we had a whole photo album to put together when we finally made it back to the States.

I took photos of the old crumbling estates as well as signs of all the gentrification that was happening too. Many of the neighborhoods deemed safe enough to rescue had high-rises, new buildings and businesses built. It was fascinating and yet scary at times as Colin and I did run into a gang of skinheads but they slurred in German under their breath as we passed and Colin turned around suddenly. He said something in German back to the skinheads and a blond one who looked like he was a leader of sorts answered back in hurried German.

Colin whipped out a butterfly knife and said something in a low voice in a language which I did not understand. The main skinhead said something back to him before he replied in English, “Hey, man—we meant no offense. Just enjoying the view of your lady friend. Everything’s cool.”

I saw the smile as it registered on Colin’s face. “No harm in enjoying,
mein Freund
…but just know if you touch, I will filet you like prime piece of swine.”

The skinheads laughed nervously before they continued on their way and we continued along ours. I wrapped an arm around Colin’s waist. “Hey, how about we spend the rest of the day somewhere safe and pleasant like Alexanderplatz, for instance.”

He chuckled as he wrapped his arms around me as soon as he had put the butterfly knife away. “I can’t think of a better idea. Come on, sweetie, on to Alexanderplatz we go.”

AFTER A VIGOROUS
day of sight seeing, we ended our day at a hole-in-the-wall bar which served decent bratwurst and excellent beer. I’d managed to capture some great photos and despite the incident which had happened earlier that day, I realized I’d enjoyed myself immensely.

It was refreshing to know Colin and I could have fun doing the most mundane of activities and we made each other laugh more than I had in a while. Not since before my father had been murdered.

“So, I take it you agree coming to Berlin was a good thing?” Colin inquired before he swigged from his huge beer stein.

“Absolutely. Just think about the excitement we would have missed out on if we’d gone straight to Amsterdam,” I responded in a sarcastic tone.