Atonement (The Atonement Series) (17 page)

“I haven’t even made a pretense at getting to know this person and perhaps she could be a great girl. I was too busy allowing my hormones to overrule my heart and that is why I am always perpetually alone. It’s hard to have respect for someone who is willing to give you their body so easily. And it ruins all chances of you ever getting to know them because the ‘sex’ part got in the way.”

I turned to stare at him. “If it makes you feel any better, I’d like to take this…what ever that exists between us…slow. I like you and I am terribly attracted to you but I don’t want to be another conquest, Colin. One night stands have never been my thing and I want us to take the time to get to know each other. If that is all right with you then perhaps we can build a friendship based on mutual trust and take it from there.”

He remained silent as we drove and all I could think about was how I’d wished he filled that silence with words. I was one to talk. One night stands my ass. I’d had one with his brother before we left and I felt so guilty about it, just thinking of what I’d done brought color to my cheeks.

Perhaps because it hadn’t felt like a one night stand and I was so desperate at the time to be with someone and Liam fit the bill nicely. However, there was also that feeling there could never be anything permanent between us because he was my employer and I actually looked forward to starting my new job. I didn’t want to go back to my old life filled with school work and charities.

Although I loved volunteering, a part of me realized it was high time I grew up and realized I needed a life. An adult life filled with grown up responsibilities like going to work, paying taxes and yes, having a normal boyfriend, what ever that meant.

Colin was normal to a certain extent but like me, he’d also been stuck in the merry-go-round of arrested development. Like Peter Pan and Wendy, we didn’t want to grow up but stay in that youth-filled environment where responsibility eluded us and we could just mess around because we had enough disposable income real life didn’t seem to beckon us the way it would have had we not been born into wealth and privilege.

“I can do slow,” he finally said before he turned to look at me.

We were both sitting inside the car, parked in front of his grandparents’ house. “I look forward to taking it slow with you because I think you’re worth it. But I also have to believe this isn’t going to be some game. I want to know that if we do decide to take it slow, we have a real shot at a relationship when we get back to Seattle. I don’t want this to be some sort of…vacation romance that is expected to end just because we have gotten back to the real world filled with jobs and responsibilities. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Yes, I do.” I stepped out of the sports utility vehicle at the same time he did and we both unloaded the bags from the trunk. “Listen, I don’t do vacation romances either so if we’re going to do this then it will be real for me. Just like it is for you too. No half-measures, no games, only what we decide to do and where to take what we have. If that’s fine with you of course.”

He walked toward the house with me side-by-side. “Are we negotiating?”

“Sort of although this isn’t a business agreement. It’s strictly personal and I am grateful and honored you have decided to introduce me to your grandparents’. I didn’t realize it was such a big deal but now that I know it is, I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.”

Colin winked at me. “Well, I can’t say the same for myself but I will do my very best to try to live up to your standards.”

“Oh my God. What standards?” I questioned out loud. “I’m not that hard to please, really!”

We both stopped walking at the same time and he cocked his head to the side. “Believe me, Ms. Bardot, you definitely have standards or you wouldn’t have been alone all this time. I know in a lot of ways, we are alike. In others, we’re different but know it was you who gave me the idea to start my own business and make something out of myself. Your standards are very high indeed but I don’t mind working towards them at all.”

“Spoken like a true gentleman.”

We walked inside and discovered his grandparents’ had gone off on one of their afternoon excursions into the woods. They kept active and spent a lot of time with one another. I hoped to be like them with the man I loved when I was their age. Relationships took time, work and energy but when you truly believed in someone, it made it all the more easier to do what ever it took to keep it going and alive.

I sat down at the table as Colin unpacked the alcohol and decided to make us lunch as we hadn’t eaten yet and it was shortly after two in the afternoon. I would have called my sister but it was still too early in the morning Pacific Standard Time, and I didn’t want to wake her.

“By the way, have you spoken to Liam?”

Colin brought our lunch to the table, open-faced sandwiches which consisted of brown goat cheese and smoked salmon. I dug in as I had quickly become quite a fan of smoked salmon though it had never been a favorite when I was in the States.

He then brought two lagers and poured them into glasses for each of us while coffee brewed. My main drinks of choice since we’d been here had been a lot of coffee and lager along with water. However, there wasn’t a wrong time to drink coffee so I was in heaven regardless.

“I spoke to him yesterday,” he said after he swigged from his lager. “He’s doing pretty good. The company is making money, he’s having fun and he finally persuaded Caitlyn to go out on a date with him.”

I almost choked on a piece of my sandwich. “I’m sorry? Did you say he asked Caitlyn out on a date? And she said yes?”

“Well, not at first. Apparently, he had to really turn on the charm but he said she was so sweet about it the first couple of times she turned him down before she said yes. He went all out and sent a dozen red roses to her desk at work and she called him back and said they should definitely go out to dinner because obviously, he knew how to treat a woman.”

I smirked though I knew it was completely immature. “Interesting. Have you seen him into someone like this before?”

“Not really but maybe he just thinks it’s time. He is in his thirties and perhaps he’s ready to finally take that step. As you’ve said on countless occasions, we’re not exactly twenty-two anymore.”

“Speaking of,” I began before I finished the first half of my open-faced smoked salmon and goat cheese sandwich, “we’re not exactly pushing up daisies either. How about we go into the city tonight and experience Oslo properly? Know of any clubs or happening bars where we can have a drink and relax? I feel like a married couple and as we haven’t actually had any real fun since we’ve been here, we can look at it as an educational experience.”

“I’m game,” Colin responded with a smile. “Let me do some research. I am sure we can find a place that will be perfectly suited for the both of us.”

COLIN, EVER THE
gentleman, and always looking out for his own interests as well as my own, took me to a place appropriately called the Beer Palace which was conveniently located in the Aker Brygge section of downtown Oslo. We both decided to try what they had on tap and settled on a Norwegian lager that was actually quiet good.

Although they had outdoors seating, I assumed we would be more comfortable inside. The weather definitely wasn’t warm enough to enjoy our time out there until I almost forgot the reason why the outside beckoned for Colin.

“I could really use a ciggie. I have been extra good at my grandparents’ and I swear to God I am trying to quit but these withdrawals are doin’ my head in,” he explained.

I merely smiled in return. “I’m just glad I brought my sweater coat. Come on, we can sit outside.”

We walked to the patio and although I really thought it would be a place full of twenty-something slackers, the crowd was all very well-heeled, mostly businessmen and women who worked in the area and most had plenty of money. The place smelled like money. We were definitely in our element.

Colin had chosen to wear a pair of black slacks and a white silk shirt which complimented his naturally lean body while I had opted for a tight black cashmere sweater, a short red skirt, black tights and black knee-length four-inch boots I had gotten on sale at the Christian Louboutin boutique the last time I’d visited Vegas.

We certainly didn’t stand out and no one gave us a second look. Colin was tall and blond, like around fifty percent of the crowd and although I could not be mistaken for being an ethnic Norwegian, the place was a regular United Nations. There were people from all over the world enjoying a beer with friends and colleagues as they spoke animatedly, mostly in Norwegian.

We sat at a table and I sipped from my lager. It was strong but went down smoothly. I people watched as he pulled out a pack of Camel Crush and politely offered one to me. I knew I shouldn’t as I had done so well at quitting beforehand but as a former ex-smoker, the thought of sitting there and not indulging was too tempting so I took one and he immediately lit it for me.

He lit his own cigarette, inhaled and exhaled with ecstasy. “Oh, wow. That’s what I have been missing. Once we get back to Seattle, I’ll quit again but it’s just too tempting being here not to do it.”

“Yes, smoking does seem very European, doesn’t it?” I inquired before we both laughed and it came so easily to both of us. “So, how did you find this place anyway? I was expecting some ratty little dive with bad eighties music playing on the jukebox, surrounded by kids at university.”

“How do we ever find places? I Googled nightclubs in Oslo and this one seemed promising. Technically, it isn’t a nightclub but there are some pretty cool ones not far from here if you’re in the mood later. I thought this could be our first place to explore. We could have a couple of drinks, loosen up and then head to a nightclub.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said as I swigged from my lager and began to enjoy the nice buzz I was experiencing.

I wanted this to feel a bit weird awkward between us because two people who barely knew one another shouldn’t feel so comfortable with each other. The problem with this situation was we’d been sharing the same bed for the past week though neither one of us had tried anything sexual with one another.

Actually, the most intimate activity that had happened between us was a bit of cuddling and spooning but we’d both been clothed at the time. It was moments like that I felt like we were two inexperienced teenagers who didn’t know exactly where this would go but we liked being with one another so it was enough for the time being.

Now, here we were at an upscale beer bar sharing lagers and cigarettes. It felt so post-university, the thought actually made me laugh. I forgot the outrageous prices charged for a glass of lager was not something we had to worry about as we weren’t backpackers. We were both grown people who could most definitely afford this trip we had taken, including the side excursion to Norway, one of the most expensive countries in the world.

The prices didn’t even put a dent in our prospective budgets, and thus one lager turned into two which turned into three. The more we drank, the more festive we became and the louder we seemed to laugh.

There were so many silly moments that had happened since we’d been there in that week and Colin was great at recalling them before he’d have me in stitches as he would talk about said incident. We smoked too much and had way too much fun but I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else at that moment.

Colin had just returned from the bar with another set of lagers. We were working our way through their selection on tap and it proved as enjoyable as our witty conversation. I’d just swigged from my newest lager when a female voice inquired, “Colin, is that you?”