Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to Be Loving Instead of Too Nice (21 page)

If you don't know what your life purpose is, you're not alone! For now, focus upon what you do know. You
do
know which activities bring you great pleasure and spiritual growth. So, spend this time focused on these activities.

Remember, always, to be your own authority figure with your schedule. You don't have to ask anyone for permission to have one hour a day for yourself. Give
yourself
permission and the authority to devote time to doing the writing, researching, creating, or other activities related to your intentions and passions and purpose.

Your power in your life is felt when you release everyone and everything that's a time waster and energy drainer. Examine every part of your life, and question what it brings you. If you have an endless series of relationships and situations where you're the only one who gives and who cares, take a look at that. Why do you choose to have such an unbalanced proportion of giving and receiving in your relationships?

Sometimes we choose unbalanced, one-way relationships because it makes us feel in control. If we're the ones who are doing all of the giving, then we can feel like we're calling the shots in the relationship. Perhaps being with someone who has a life full of drama makes us feel better about ourselves by comparison. Or maybe it feeds into the gossip rumor mill that we like to be a part of to feel special.

But remember the double-edged sword of feeling special. When you feel better than someone else, you're in your ego. It's very black-and-white. If you feel you're better or worse than another human being, you're in the ego mode of separation thinking.

The only route to peace, and the only escape from the ego's tyranny, is through continuously training your mind to know that you're one with everyone.

Of course it's fine for you to get compliments and feel good about yourself, because that's part of self-care and self-love. When someone gives you praise, it's also thoughtful and kind for you to accept it as the gift that it is. Be gracious, and don't deflect compliments back. To do so is the equivalent of refusing a gift that someone's giving you.

Never, ever put yourself down, in jest or seriously. When you say mean things about yourself, it's often because you're trying to manipulate or control someone else's pity or guilt toward you. This may even be an unconscious process.

The words you say about yourself are registered in your unconscious mind, where they affect your self-esteem and self-confidence. It's essential that you only use positive words and phrases when describing yourself. You can be very humble while also feeling good about yourself. Humility means that you honor and respect yourself and others, which is very different from self-deprecation, where you put yourself down for not being enough.

Getting Comfortable with Your Power

Watch young children or animals interact, and you'll see examples of honest assertiveness. You'll notice that animals and children have no qualms about making their needs and feelings known. That's because it's natural for all creatures to express themselves.

As with any new lifestyle practice, you'll become increasingly more comfortable with your personal power. At first, you may feel awkward or even like an impostor as you speak up for yourself directly and with honesty. You may be waiting for the other shoe to drop, in terms of expecting someone to call you out or punish you for speaking up. You may reawaken phobias from your school days, when you weren't allowed to speak unless you were given permission.

But with each small and large success that comes your way from speaking up, your confidence and comfort with being powerful will increase.

Remember that power is natural. So as you allow yourself to become more powerful, you're actually being your real and natural self.

PART IV

L
IFE TOOLS
and
GUIDANCE
for
EARTH ANGELS

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

ENERGY WORK
FOR
EMPATHS

A
s a highly sensitive person—also known as an
empath
—you feel everyone else's emotions. Your body functions as a vibrational instrument, like a drum vibrating in tune to other people's thoughts and emotions.

As a sensitive Earth Angel, you also absorb other people's thoughts and feelings. This is why after you have a conversation with someone, you sometimes walk away feeling drained or upset. A part of this is because you're worried about whether the person will be okay in enduring a problem situation he or she is involved in.

Or you may be worried whether that person likes you or is mad at you, which is a very common concern that Earth Angels have.

You may even overcompensate to make sure the other person isn't angry with you by overgiving to that individual in a way that is out of proportion with your relationship. If you tend to be overly generous, especially with people who don't get back to you, this is a sign that you're feeling anxious and insecure.

It's also sign that you're carrying other people's energy, and it's confusing you.

Shielding

Shielding is like using an umbrella when it's raining. It's just common sense, and has nothing to do with fear or paranoia.

Shielding means protection against harsh, negative, or lower energies. Shielding yourself is a way to ensure that your energy stays high and clean, especially if you are traveling through or working in a harsh environment. For example, if you're employed at a company that has a lot of competition, political gaming, or negativity, this will affect you. Similarly, if you live with someone who tends to be negative, you will absorb his or her energy unless you have shields up.

Here are some ways to shield:

Crystals

Crystals are powerful minerals, rocks, stones, and gemstones that transmute, protect, and magnify various energies. Wearing, sleeping near, or holding these protective crystals, or placing them on your desk, can help deflect negative energy. Some of the more powerful shielding crystals include:

• Amethyst
  : This gorgeous purple gemstone helps lift the energy around you and in you.
  
• Obsidian
  : This beautiful black stone deflects negativity, anger, and psychic attacks.
  
• Citrine
  : This lovely pale yellow stone helps increase positive energy and push away negativity.
  
• Clear quartz
  : This beautiful clear crystal refracts sunlight into rainbows, and does the same thing to negative energy, breaking it up and turning it around.
  
• Smoky quartz
  : Put this brown crystal near your bed and you'll release negativity from past relationships while you sleep.
  
• Rose quartz
  : This pale pink crystal helps protect you in romantic relationships.
  
• Lapis lazuli
  : This beautiful blue stone is a good general protector.
  

Angel Lights

You can ask Archangel Michael, the protector angel, to shield you with his royal blue and royal purple light. To do so, just say either aloud or silently:
“Archangel Michael, please surround me with your protective shield now.”
Because this archangel is unlimited, he is able to shield everyone who calls upon him instantly.

You can also ask God to send extra guardian angels to protect you; your loved ones; your home; your vehicle; or any other person, place, or thing. There are an infinite number of angels, and all we have to do is ask for more and it is done.

Clearing

Just as important as shielding is clearing your energy. Whenever you feel tired, get confused, or become accident-prone, take the time to clear your energy. A lot of times, these are symptoms of having absorbed negativity.

As with shielding, there are many fine ways to clear yourself. My favorite is to say:
“Archangel Michael, please clear away any energies from within me and around me that are not of God's love and light.”
The archangel will immediately come to the aid of anyone who calls upon him, since he loves us all and has the ability to help everyone simultaneously.

Another way to clear is by taking a very warm bath filled with sea salts (which you can buy in the spice section of your local natural store). You can also add pure flower essences and essential oils to your clearing bath and surround the bathtub with white candles as focal points for your intention to clear yourself.

Massage or similar bodywork also has wonderful clearing abilities. This is especially true if you work with a massage therapist who is skilled in releasing energy, along with physical tension.

Detoxing your diet is another way to clear away physical as well as energetic toxins. You can do a juice fast, or work with herbs and supplements that flush out heavy metals and other physical contaminants that may be attached to energy toxins in your body. Talk to your local naturopath, or a trained individual at a supplements store.

Grounding

Grounding means that your consciousness is housed inside of your body, as opposed to floating above it, where you're not aware of what you're physically doing.

Many Earth Angels leave their bodies because they can't handle the earthly plane. They “go home” in their consciousness and aren't really here. This is okay to do during dream time or meditation, but during the day and waking hours, we must remember that we are in physical bodies for a reason.

To ground yourself, you can wear the crystal obsidian. You can also eat vegetables that grow in the ground, including organic non-GMO radishes, potatoes, carrots, onions, and turnips.

You can also ground yourself with a foot rub, either one you give yourself or one you receive from someone else. Another successful grounding technique is to visualize roots coming out of the bottoms of your feet, as if you were a tree. Feel the energy of the earth connecting with the bottoms of your feet.

One of my favorite grounding methods, though, is to connect with nature. Taking your shoes off and physically touching the grass, soil, sand, or water will help focus your mind back on your physical reality.

Trees Are Amazing Healers!

For shielding, clearing, and grounding, you can receive a lot of support and help from trees. I've always felt a close connection to trees. They “speak” to me, and I can hear and feel their energy and messages.

The trees taught me about their healing power. One time when I was traveling and had a backache, I was guided to lean against a tree. I could feel the pain being absorbed by the tree. The tree didn't hang on to the pain; it transmuted it.

Very quickly, my back felt wonderful!

Since that time, I have worked with trees for transmuting emotional pain and illness, too. I've also taught other people to do this, with the same positive results— including taking groups to connect with trees.

To heal with a tree's assistance, walk among a grove and mentally ask one to help you. Trust your inner guidance about which tree to work with. It will answer and call to you. You'll feel the response from the tree in your body and mind. I can hear an actual voice in my mind, as can many other people.

Then lean your back against the tree, and close your eyes and breathe. Be willing to let go of everything painful. And don't worry—it won't hurt the tree. It's the same process that trees have mastered to turn dirty air into clean oxygen.

Tree healings are remarkable, gentle, and very loving. Trees hold so much wisdom! Each has its own personality and special focus. No two are alike.

I also love sitting beneath trees and writing their messages. I did this in my book
Healing with the Fairies
, when the trees taught me about letting go of the past.