Ash (29 page)

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Authors: Julieanne Lynch

BOOK: Ash
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I peered down, and sure enough, the baby’s head was visible. In that moment, the world slowed down. Everything became frozen, except Marcy as she continued to push.

“Okay, Marcy,” the doctor said. “I want you to pant.”

Marcy did as she was told and panted as the baby’s head pushed through the opening.

Connie squeezed her hand and watched in amazement.

“Okay, with your next contraction, I want you to push really hard,” the doctor insisted, and stared at Marcy.

Marcy nodded and closed her eyes. She let out a roar, and at 1:58 a.m., the baby shot out.

To my immense relief, the baby started to cry immediately.

Connie sobbed uncontrollably, her hands trembling when she saw the tiny bundle on the bed between Marcy’s legs.

“Oh, my God,” Connie mumbled. “Is it a boy or girl?”

The doctor inspected the baby and smiled. “You have a little boy,” she announced, and held the baby up for us to see.

No amount of words could ever express how I felt in that moment. My little boy had made it into the world with a powerful set of lungs. I was rendered speechless.

Connie and I hugged tight.

I kissed her soft lips. Neither of us could contain our emotions.

“Who’s doing the honours?” the doctor asked, and clamped the cord.

“I want you to cut the cord,” Connie said, and smiled.

My hands shook as I cut the cord. It was a fantastic, frightening, and exhilarating experience. One I’d never forget. The 12th of March, 2012 would always stay with me as long as I lived.

The baby was swaddled in towels and handed straight to Connie.

Marcy looked on, smiling the entire time.

Connie lovingly cradled him in her arms and sat down on the chair. She stared at him for the longest time, tears rolling down her cheeks. My beautiful, sweet Connie finally had her little boy, and my heart never felt more complete.

I turned my attention to Marcy and took her hand in mine. “Thank you,” I whispered, and kissed her forehead.

That night, my family was whole. My wife and I sat staring at our son, both of us falling head over heels in love with him.

“Jake,” Connie muttered. “We’ll call him Jake.”

I rubbed the tears from my eyes and set the frame back on the table. Not once would I have ever thought Marcy capable of being a twisted fucker. She’d destroyed all the respect I had for her. Now I was ready for her to leave Jake and me alone for good. I was done with her demands, her games, and her obsession.

The doorbell chimed. I took a deep breath and composed myself before opening it.

Felipe, Andrés’ second-in-command, stood before me.

“How did you find my address?” I asked.

“Nice to see you, too, Ash,” he remarked, and pushed his way in.

I shut the door and cracked my knuckles. “So, what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Andrés just wanted to make sure you weren’t getting cold feet,” he said, and walked toward my living room, looking at photographs on the wall. “And that the wheels of motion have been set in place in regards to a certain affiliate of yours.”

“And that required a house call?”

Felipe turned and stared at me. The five point crown dominated the right side of his neck. He was about the same height as me, but bigger. His presence unnerved me.

“You know how these things work, Ashley.” He sneered as he said my name. “We need to make sure your balls are intact. Understand me?”

“I know what is expected of me,” I snapped. “I’ve never gone back on my word before, and I’m not going to start now.”

“Then, we’re good, compadre.” He nodded and walked back toward the door. He stopped by a picture frame and smiled. “Good-looking kid you got.”

“He got his mama’s good looks,” I replied.

Felipe burst into laughter and replied, “I can see that. Take it easy, Ash. Make sure you touch base once you complete the transaction.”

No sooner had he said the words, he left the apartment.

The anxiety curled in my stomach. Reality sobered me up enough to know that I couldn’t back out now. A line had been crossed, and there was no way out.

 

 

I was torn between the love of my child and the need to rid my life of its curse. Sleep evaded me to the point I was fast becoming a shadow of my former self, dogged with guilt for something I had yet to do.

My mother sipped at her tea.

“Mom, can I ask you to do something for me?” My voice cracked.

She touched her brow and let out a sigh as though she were expecting bad news. “Yes.”

“I need you and Dad to have Jake for me this weekend.” I kept my eyes locked on hers.

“Oh.” Relief washed over her face, and she relaxed. “Why? Is it that girl?”

“Yes,” I lied.

I hated myself for putting her in this position, but there was no way I could do what was planned and come home to my kid. I needed to cleanse myself of my sin before putting on my daddy cap.

“She’s seems like a lovely girl. Is it serious?”

I shook my head. “No, Mom, it’s not serious, but I like her.”

My mother smiled and rested her warm hand on mine, her eyes sparkling as though Christmas had arrived early.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I said, feeling my cheeks burn. “She’s leaving soon.”

“Oh, that’s a shame,” she replied.

“But until she leaves, I’d like to spend some time with her.”

“Then, it’s sorted. Jake is staying with us, and you can come get him when you are good and ready,” she said. “Remember, happiness comes in many forms, honey. If it’s short-lived, enjoy it while you can. You deserve that smile on your face.”

My mother had this knack for making my day, and as much as her words meant the world to me, I felt like a complete asshole, hiding my true intentions from her. She would be destroyed if she ever found out about me getting involved with Andrés. This was one secret I’d be taking to the grave with me.

“I’ll drop him off early Friday evening,” I said, and turned my attention to the chaos in the hall.

Jake and his fire engine were on duty, and by the sounds of things, it was getting serious.

My mother chuckled. “He sure has an imagination.”

“Yes, but he’s not so great at cleaning up after himself.”

I got up from the table and walked to the hall. Sure enough, Jake had thrown his many toys around the hall. Utter carnage lay scattered beneath my feet from the Lego.

“What’s all this?” I asked, stepping through the carnage.

“There’s been an explosion, and everyone is dead,” he announced.

“Hey, come on, you know I don’t mind these games, but this mess needs cleaning up,” I said sternly.

Jake folded his arms across his chest, breathing heavily as he huffed. His cheeks flushed.

“I don’t want to.”

“Jake, look at me,” I said, and knelt down in front of him. “There’s a lot of things I don’t want to have to do, but sometimes, you don’t have a choice. You made this mess, and it’s your responsibility to clean it up.” Oh, the irony.

I looked back and saw my mother standing behind me.

She raised her eyebrows and shook her head. “Jake, is this behaviour really necessary?”

He looked at her and didn’t reply.

“Jake, Grandma is talking to you.” I stood and stared at my mother. “Please tell me this is a phase.”

She smiled. “I’m afraid this is a sign of things to come.”

I sighed. “Jake, if you start, I will help, okay?”

“I was just playing a game.”

“I know, buddy, but there’s playing nicely and making a huge mess that you don’t want to clean up.”

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” he muttered, his eyes focused on me.

“Hey, it’s all good. I’ll help. Then, we’ll head out for a walk, yeah?”

He nodded and smiled.

My mother cleared her throat. “And that is why you are such a wonderful father.”

“Huh?” I sounded rather dumb.

“You’re a good daddy, Ash. Never forget that. And now, I must be off. I’ll see you both on Friday.” My mother walked to the front door, glanced at Jake and I, and gave us that beautiful, loving smile of hers. “I love you both.”

“We love you, too,” Jake shouted, throwing some Lego’s back into the box.

I pointed at him, and my mother nodded. It was a thing we did.

After my mother left, Jake and I managed to get all his toys back into his room.

“Can we go to the zoo?” he asked as I wiped his face clean.

The zoo was the last place on earth I wanted to visit.

“It’s kinda late,” I replied.

“Please, Daddy. I promise to be good.”

Why did he have to pull this on me? He didn’t understand the complexities. There was no way that I could explain things in a kid-friendly manner. I hated letting him down. He loved the zoo, and in most cases, so did I.

“Jake, it’s after two. It will be really busy.” I tried to change his mind.

“But Daddy!” he whined.

Every part of me wanted to say no to him, but when it came to Jake, I couldn’t. So I swallowed my pride and nodded.

“Okay, just for a little while.”

Jake held onto my hand, and like he promised, he was on his best behaviour. We made a quick pit stop at the kiosk.

A new girl was on duty.

We walked through and saw Andy, who was more than happy to see Jake.

“Well, isn’t this a surprise?” he remarked, high fiving Jake.

“It’s been insane at work,” I replied.

“So I hear.”

“What does that mean?”

He shook his head and raised his hands. “Nothing, man. I’ve just heard a few stories. Nothing serious.”

“What kind of stories?”

I tightened my grip on Jake’s hand, becoming very territorial.

“Listen, it’s not my place to be getting involved in whatever has gone down between you and Marcy, but she’s been talking,” Andy whispered. “And it’s not been pretty.”

“Daddy,” Jake interrupted. “Can we go see Daisy now?”

“In a minute, buddy. Daddy’s just talking.” I raised an eyebrow.

Jake was growing impatient. He tugged at my hand, and jumped up and down.

“Ash, I think I’ve said enough.” Andy stepped back, his face turning white.

My stomach spun, and my hands grew clammy. I wanted to know exactly what Marcy had been saying, but the timing with Andy was all wrong.

“I’ve got to get back to work,” he said, and turned his back on me.

“Can we go see Daisy now?” Jake asked in a whiny tone.

“Yes, we’ll go see Daisy now.”

We strolled off in the direction of the rhinoceroses.

I had an inkling Marcy would pay us a visit. I pulled the door, holding it open for Jake.

He zoomed inside, eager to see Daisy and Shane.

I chuckled and watched my kid lovingly hug Shane’s leg.

“Well, hello to you, too, kiddo,” Shane said.

“Hey, man,” I said, and he shook my hand.

“I thought for a moment that you’d forgotten about us.” He winked.

I laughed and shook my head. “Some things can never be forgotten.”

“Is Daisy being good?” Jake asked.

Shane rested his hand on the barrier and nodded. “She sure has. I bet she will be even better when she sees you.”

“Really?” Jake squealed.

“Yup, you know that big old woman has a soft spot for her favorite guy.” Shane grinned and whistled over to a lanky boy. “Hey, Tom, come over here. We have the next best thing to royalty here.”

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