Anna's Courage (Rose Island Book 1) (24 page)

Before I could answer, Gabby let out an ear-piercing scream as if just now comprehending what had happened.

Nick pulled the car to the side of the road and flipped on the hazard lights. He turned around and unbuckled Gabby, who continued screaming. Lifting her into his arms, he held her tight. “It’s all right, baby girl. You’re okay.” She gulped massive amounts of air and shivered as she clung to him.

He rubbed her back. “I think she’s fine, just scared. Is everybody else okay?”

“I’m fine,” Travis said.

“But the deer isn’t fine, is he?” Hailey asked in an angry voice. “I told you to turn the music down, Uncle Nick. You shouldn’t have been playing that horrible song so loud.”

“I know,” he said, his tone regretful.

Gabby’s screams softened, but her little jaw trembled. Nick wiped her cheeks with his fingertips. “Will you go to Anna so I can check on things outside?”

“Come here,” I said, taking the baby.

Nick stepped out of the car and walked down the road to the fallen deer. I stared out the back window, hoping the animal had just been stunned and not fatally wounded. We frequently saw dead deer along this part of the road. Nobody knew what compelled the creatures to jump into the traffic, but they did it all the time.

When Nick reached the animal, he looked back at the car and shook his head.

“It’s dead!” Hailey pounded her clenched fist on the seat.

Travis opened the car door. “I’ll be back.”

“Shut that door,” I said, more sharply than intended.

“This is a man’s job, Mom. I need to help Nick. You can stay in the car with the girls, but Nick needs me.”

I softened at the seriousness in my son’s voice. How could I argue with his desire to be a man and support Nick? “Okay, but be careful and stay to the side of the road.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And watch for cars.”

He nodded. “I will.”

Hailey let out a furious puff of air. “I can’t believe he killed that deer.”

I met her gaze. “It was an accident, honey. There was nothing Nick could have done.”

“
Whatever
.” She folded her arms across her chest and glared out the window. I wanted to say something to ease her anger, but what?

Gabby settled against my shoulder and sucked her thumb. Rocking back and forth, I smoothed down the baby’s hair, which felt like straw from the dried chocolate pudding.

Nick and Travis dragged the dead deer to the side of the road, then Nick placed a hand on Travis’s shoulder and said a few words before returning to the car. Opening the passenger side door, he took the baby and strapped her into the car seat.

“You killed it,” Hailey said, glaring at Nick.

“I know.” His voice was sad and weary.

“You were driving too fast.”

“You’re right,” he conceded. “But even if I’d been going slower, I still would’ve hit him. He came out of nowhere.”

“Can we make him one of those roadside crosses?” Travis asked, buckling his seat belt.

I nodded. “That’s a good idea. Maybe you can nail it together and Hailey can paint it.”

Hailey exploded, kicking the back of my seat. “Like that’s going to help.”

I blinked, shocked by her outburst. I’d seen people express sadness through anger, so I tried not to take her contempt personally. Still, it hurt to have her so cross with me.

Nick, on the other hand, wasn’t so understanding. “Don’t be rude. Apologize to Miss Anna. Now.”

“
Sorry, Miss Anna
. But even if I build the cross and Travis paints it, it’s not going to help. You can make a million crosses and that deer is still going to be dead. He’s dead, and he’s never coming back.”

We drove the rest of the way home in silence. When we parked in the driveway, Hailey shot out of the car, slamming the door behind her. Nick went upstairs with the baby while Travis ran home to check on Yoda. I took the puppies outside before making myself at home in the kitchen.

While I waited for Nick, I looked through Ivana’s generous collection of cookbooks. Next to the recipe for caramel turtle cheesecake, she’d drawn a star and written the words
A Peterson Brothers’ favorite
. Seeing the deceased woman’s handwriting in the margins was devastating. Although I hadn’t been close to Ivana, we’d been friendly with each other, often talking about kids and events at school.

Using my phone, I took a picture of the recipe, vowing to make it for Nick before he left.

A few minutes later, Nick strode through the kitchen, his eyes weary and brow furrowed. Holding a freshly bathed Gabby with one hand, he made a bottle with the other before joining me at the table. “Hailey’s never going to forgive me for hitting that deer. I tried talking to her, but she wouldn’t listen.”

I reached out and took hold of Gabby’s little hand. “She’s mad now, but she’ll be okay in a little bit.”

He gave a defeated sigh. “I hope so. I hate seeing her like this.”

I closed the cookbook and changed the subject, wanting to lift his mood. “It was pretty cute how Travis manned up to help you. He told me to stay in the car with the girls.”

Nick shrugged. “It’s instinct. Men are built to protect and take care of things. When we were kids, Ethan and I often played war. It wasn’t that we were violent; we just wanted to defend our home. We’d strategize for hours about how to fight off the bad guys if they attacked.”

“That’s kind of sad, but I guess it makes sense. All my childhood games revolved around ice skating in the Olympics or . . .” my voice trailed off.

“Were you going to say flying?”

I nodded. “When I was ten, I saw a documentary on female helicopter pilots. That film had a major impact on me, and I begged my parents for a ride. When they finally relented and took me for my birthday, I was hooked.”

Nick wet his lips and stared at me. “I’m going to say something, and I don’t want you to be mad.”

An uneasy feeling rolled through me. “Okay . . .”

“You need to get back in that helicopter. You’re selling yourself short by not flying, and you need to try again.”

I shook my head. “I’ve tried, but I can’t do it.”

“You have to try again.” He shifted Gabby and reached into his wallet to pull out something that resembled a gift certificate. “This is a voucher I bought last week. I was going to give it to you for Christmas, but I want you to have it now. It’s for a helicopter tour of the island. For both of us. I thought we could go together. Maybe it will be the first step in getting you back in the pilot’s seat.”

I stared in disbelief at the gift certificate. A tingle of annoyance worked its way through me. Did he think he was capable of fixing me? If conquering my fear of flying was so easy, wouldn’t I have done it by now?

“You’re not excited about going to college,” he continued, completely oblivious to my irritation. “You want to fly. Everything you say and do points to that fact, but you’re letting an irrational fear hold you back.”

An irrational fear?
I gritted my teeth. “I’ve been to therapy. I’ve prayed about this, and I’ve even taken medicine, but nothing has helped. I can’t believe you think you can miraculously cure me with a gift certificate.”

“I’m not trying to
cure
you. I’m just trying to help.”

“By curing me. You’re trying to help by fixing something that can’t be fixed.”

I started to say something else but was interrupted by a loud crashing sound which shook the ceiling. We both looked up and heard the sound again.

“What’s that?” Travis asked, coming into the kitchen.

Nick jumped to his feet and handed me the baby. “It’s Hailey!” He tore through the living room and raced upstairs. Travis and I followed, my heart pounding.

Nick threw open the door to Hailey’s bedroom just as she smashed another one of her mother’s crystal ornaments against the wall. Clenching her fists, she glared at Nick and yelled, “You killed that deer. He died because of you, and I hate you. I hate you, Uncle Nick!”

Shattered glass covered the floor, and the pink Christmas tree lay next to her feet. Her face was red and tear-stained, and her body shook.

Nick put his hands up and walked toward her. “Hailey, honey, calm down.”

She took a step back, her bare foot almost landing on a piece of glass. “No. Don’t tell me what to do. You’re not my dad. You don’t even want to be here. You’re going to give us away and make us move. And then, you’ll probably die, like that deer and everyone else in my life!”

“I’m not,” Nick insisted, shaking his head. “I want to adopt you and Gabby. I want to take you with me when I leave.”

She took another step back, closer to the glass. “You’re lying.”

“Stop,” he shouted. “You can yell at me all you want, but don’t you dare move another inch and step on that glass. Let me help you. I’m not going to allow anything bad happen to you or me. I promise.”

“You can’t promise that. Could you promise you weren’t going to hit that deer and kill it? Could you promise my parents wouldn’t die? Can you promise
you’re
not going to die?”

Nick hung his head in silence for a moment. “No. You’re right. I can’t make promises like that.”

Hailey looked down at the last crystal ornament in her hand, a depiction of the baby Jesus with Mary and Joseph. Her voice softened. “Go away, Uncle Nick. I don’t want you here.”

“I know you don’t mean that.”

She shook her head and began to cry. My heart split in two, and I hugged Gabby tight. Travis tucked his hand in the crook of my elbow and pressed his head against my arm.

“Hailey, let your Uncle Nick help you,” I urged. “You don’t want to end up going to the emergency room for stitches.”

Her shoulders slumped in defeat. Nick lifted her into his strong arms as tears silently streamed down her cheeks.

“I’ve got you, honey,” Nick said.

Saying nothing, she clutched her mother’s only remaining ornament and allowed Nick to carry her over the broken glass and out the door.

Nick

It was past
midnight by the time Hailey finally settled down. She’d cried so hard that I called the pediatrician and counselor. During it all, Anna remained calm, encouraging Hailey to take deep breaths and relax. If Anna hadn’t been there, things could have easily spiraled out of control.

Now, Travis was sleeping in front of the TV, and Hailey was curled up with Gabby on their parents’ bed sound asleep. As Anna and I cleaned up the mess in Hailey’s room, I wondered how things had gone so horribly wrong. Could I have done something differently to prevent the explosion?

What kind of father would I be if I couldn’t even handle a temper tantrum? I was tired, frustrated, and full of self-doubt.

“We might be able to save this one,” Anna said, holding up an angel with only a chip missing from the wing.

Feelings of failure pressed down on me, and I gave a non-committal shrug. “Sure.”

Anna bit her bottom lip. “Look, I know tonight was horrible, but Hailey’s going to be okay.”

“Is she?” I didn’t know how Anna thought this wasn’t a big deal. I should’ve tried harder to talk to Hailey after we hit the deer. I should’ve stopped her from storming off and locking herself in her bedroom. I should’ve prevented this disaster.

Instead, I’d gone downstairs to talk to Anna while I fed Gabby.

Careful not to cut myself, I threw a piece of glass into the garbage can. “Look, Anna. You don’t have to help me. It’s late and I can clean this mess up without you. Why don’t you and Travis head home?”

“I don’t mind,” she replied.

Something about her cheerful optimism caused me to snap. “But I mind. So please, just take Travis and go home.”

The edge in my voice sliced through the air, and I apologized immediately, ashamed I’d spoken to Anna like that.

“What is it?” she asked, her tone compassionate.

I shook my head. “Hailey was completely out of control tonight, and there was nothing I could do. If you hadn’t been here—”

“But I was.”

“But you’re not always going to be around to help me, are you? When I leave for Germany, you’ll be here on the island with your family.”

She flinched, and I regretted hurting her feelings, but I couldn’t continue my dependence on her. The sooner I learned how to handle the girls on my own, the better. I’d thought Anna and I could date long distance, but now I understood what a ridiculous idea that’d been. I wasn’t capable of taking care of the girls and having a relationship with a woman.

“It’ll be okay in the morning,” she assured me.

Would it?
I couldn’t imagine this mess magically disappearing by the morning, so I said nothing as she gathered her things and left.

Anna

I
awoke the
next morning with a knot in my stomach. Things hadn’t ended well last night with Nick. He’d basically told me to go home and leave him alone. Oh, he hadn’t used those exact words, but it was pretty obvious he was irritated with me.

Glancing at my phone on the nightstand, I discovered he’d sent a short text. “Keeping Hailey home from school today.”

“How’s she doing?” I texted back, hoping they’d both slept well and were feeling better this morning. Seeing them so distraught last night had been tough.

“Better,” he replied.

I waited for more and was disappointed when he didn’t text back. After a few minutes, I asked, “What about you?”

He didn’t answer me, and his silence scared me. I desperately wanted to call but thought it best to give him space.

All day at the salon, I checked my messages. He’s just upset, I told myself. It was a rough night, and he just needs some time.

Determined not to obsess about Nick, I poured myself into every client who walked through the door. During my down time, I swept, mopped, dusted, and folded the laundry. Bianca asked what my problem was, but I brushed her off, insisting I was just tired. Truthfully, I was afraid to tell her what had happened for fear of how she’d interpret the events.

After work, I took Travis out for pasta. “Why didn’t Nick and Hailey come with us?” he asked, swirling his straw through his ice water.

I forced a smile and tried to keep the sadness out of my voice. “I think they’re busy doing something else.”