Anna's Courage (Rose Island Book 1) (28 page)

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Those girls, Halle and Berry—”

“Hailey and Gabby,” I corrected.

“Yes, Hailey and Gabby. They lost their parents because of a car accident. Have you stopped driving because it’s too dangerous?”

“No.”

He scooted up in bed. “Each year, people die in bicycle accidents. You haven’t stopped riding your bike, have you?”

“No, but I always wear my helmet.”

“I know you do. My point is you stopped flying to punish Marcus . . . or yourself. Either way, you stopped flying, not because of Travis, but because of you. Whether it was fear or guilt, it doesn’t matter. You let Marcus’s death define you.”

“
His death did define me
! Losing him shook my confidence and changed me.” Wounded, I stood and walked across the room to the window. Night had darkened the sky, but moonlight lit the ocean in the distance. “Nick bought me a gift certificate for a helicopter tour. He thought he could fix me with a gift certificate, can you believe that?”

My father huffed. “What kind of monster would try to fix any woman, most of all you?”

I gave a little smile and turned back around to face him. “I was pretty angry.”

“I imagine so. Is that why you refused his marriage proposal?”

I shrugged. “No. He’s not ready to get married, and neither am I. We’ve barely spent any time together.”

“I married your mom two weeks after we met. When you know, you know.”

“But you proposed to Mom on top of the Sears Tower in Chicago with flowers, a diamond, and a prepared speech. Nick’s proposal was truly awful. He didn’t have a ring, and you always told me a guy wasn’t serious unless he had a ring.”

“Did I?”

“Yes. Don’t you remember?”

“No, I only remember forbidding you to date until you were thirty-five.”

We exchanged a smile, and I walked back to the chair beside his bed. “If I’d waited until thirty-five, you wouldn’t have Travis.”

“True. But look, honey. You’re a good pilot. This idea that you have to stay grounded on the island is ridiculous. You need to have faith in yourself and your abilities. And God. If God wants you dead, there isn’t anything you can do about it, flying or not flying.”

“Well, that’s comforting,” I said sarcastically.

“It’s the truth, and I actually do find it comforting. You can’t outrun God. You can’t outthink Him or hide from Him. He’s in charge of your life whether you want Him to be or not.”

I sighed. I knew I couldn’t change the fact my husband had died, but I wished I could change how it affected every aspect of my life. I wished I didn’t worry so much and could just let go and trust that everything was going to work out for the best. Mostly, I wished I could get back in the helicopter and prove to myself I still had what it took.

“I don’t want to upset you further,” my father continued, “but I told Travis I’d try to keep you and Nick together. I’m no matchmaker, but here goes. You deserve a good man, and according to Travis, Nick is perfect.”

I rolled my eyes. “According to Travis, Nick walks on water.”

My father grunted. “I’d think you of all people would agree that a man who can walk on water isn’t a bad thing.”

I grinned and studied my father closely. “Dad, tell me the truth. Did you run a background check on Nick?”

Surprise, then resolve, flashed across his face. “Did you?”

“Of course, but my access isn’t as detailed as yours.”

He gave a curt nod. “Then you know you can trust me when I say Nick Peterson is a good man. Whether or not you want to marry him and create a life as a military family is a whole other issue. But all my sources, including the look on my daughter’s face, tell me Nick is one of the good guys.”

Nick

I
n the evening,
Gina arrived to decorate the tree and eat dinner. I instantly liked her and regretted any bad thoughts I’d had about her. She was young—only a few years older than me—but she was nothing like my father’s previous girlfriends or wives. I could see she really cared about him, and he cared for her in a way I hadn’t seen before.

Gina offered to put the girls to bed, and Hailey willingly accepted.

Feeling a little lost, I wandered downstairs where I found my father sitting on the couch in the study. “Do you mind if I join you?” I asked, hesitating at the door.

He beckoned me forward, and that’s when I saw the old photo box on his lap. I’d been about Hailey’s age when I’d found the box in my father’s closet while playing hide-and-seek with Ethan and one of our nannies.

The pictures of my mother had mesmerized me so much that I hadn’t heard my father enter the room. Jack had strictly forbidden us from playing in the master bedroom, but I was tired of being
it
, so I’d broken the rule to hide in my father’s closet.

“You’re not supposed to be in here,” he’d said.

I’d apologized and tried not to be afraid as my father silently took the box and placed it in the nightstand. I thought he’d be angry, but he was calm as he spoke. “She’s no longer part of our lives. Do you understand that, son?”

He’d stared at me for a long time with something that resembled compassion. I was confused by the emotion and wondered what my punishment would be. Instead, he’d given me an uncharacteristic wink. “If you look behind the laundry room door, I think you’ll find your brother.”

“Yes, sir.” I ran out of the room, pleased and shocked by my father’s help. Later, when I returned to look at the pictures, the box was gone. I’d spent weeks searching for it but had never seen it again until this moment.

“Do you remember?” My father gestured toward the box, bringing me back to the present.

I nodded. “I thought you threw it away.”

“No. I hid it from you because I convinced myself it was best if you didn’t know about your mother.”

My pulse raced. “Why’d she leave, sir? You never told me, and I always wanted to know.”

He looked at one of the photographs and took several deep breaths. “I was dirt poor when she married me. I want to believe she loved me, but I suspect she simply needed a father for Ethan.”

My stomach dropped. “What?”

He nodded. “I never wanted anyone to know, but it’s true. Ethan wasn’t mine. Not biologically, anyway. I thought I could change your mother. Tame her. We married the day Ethan turned one, and you were born a year later. I honestly thought we were happy.”

He leafed through several photos before continuing. “I never guessed she was seeing someone else until the day she left. I told her she could leave me, but she wasn’t taking you or your brother. I threatened to take her to court and prove her an unfit mother if she tried.”

“But why?” I asked. “Why did you want us?”

He put the lid back on the box. “I thought she’d come back for you.”

My gut churned to learn my father had kept Ethan and me for revenge. We’d been unwanted by our mother and simply used by our father.

“I loved you and your brother,” he said, as if reading my thoughts. “I know it didn’t always seem like it, but I did. I just wasn’t prepared to be the kind of father you needed. And, according to the therapist, I was obsessed with getting your mother back.”

“But she left you,” I stated, my voice angry. I hated how the wound of abandonment was still raw after all these years. “She left us.”

He gave a resigned nod. “It wasn’t your fault. I want you to know that she didn’t leave because of anything you and Ethan did or didn’t do. Something was wrong with her. Something is still wrong with her. You can tell when she’s on TV. Her eyes are shifty, and she does this thing with her mouth that you used to do.”

My heart thudded. “Dad, who are you talking about?”

He locked eyes with me and took a deep breath. “Mary Williams. The governor’s wife. That’s your mom, son.”

“What?”

“It’s true.”

I allowed the implication of that to wash over me. I couldn’t believe it.

“I did the best I could with you and your brother,” Jack said, his eyes pleading with me for understanding and forgiveness. “I want you to know that I deeply cared about you two. But I admit, I wanted revenge. I wanted to work so hard and be so rich she’d regret leaving us. I dated and married those women to make her jealous. It wasn’t fair to them, nor to you boys. And for that, I’m truly sorry.”

Something inside me broke. I’d wondered about my mother my whole life. Wondered if I’d done something wrong. Now, I knew.

“I just hope,” Jack continued, his breath ragged, “I hope you can find a way to forgive me.”

Anna

On Christmas Eve
morning, Travis and I rode our bikes downtown to collect the present my father had ordered from the jewelry store. While the clerk gift wrapped the beautiful bracelet, Travis pointed to a gold necklace with an inscription written in cursive lettering. “What’s that say?” he asked. “I can’t read that fancy writing.”

“It says, ‘Take a chance.’”

He pushed up his glasses. “Take a chance? On what? Gambling?”

Both the clerk and I smiled.

“I think it means take a chance on life,” I explained. “On love. On happiness. On following your dreams.”

“Oh,” he said, unimpressed.

The jeweler handed me the gift and nodded at the necklace. “I just received it from a local artist. What do you think?”

I didn’t know what to think. Was this some sort of sign I was supposed to take a chance, throw caution to the wind, and jump in a helicopter to chase after Nick? “It’s lovely,” I said. “I’m sure you’ll sell it right away.”

Afterward, Travis and I walked over to the clothing store to buy him dress pants and a button-down shirt with a clip-on tie for church tonight. He came out of the dressing room, tugging at the long pants. “I miss my shorts. These clothes itch and make me feel like I’m in a straightjacket.”

“I know you’d rather wear shorts, but it’s supposed to be cold tonight. Plus, don’t you want to dress up for Christmas?”

He shook his head. “No, not really.”

Before going home, we stopped at Vicki’s Bakery for coffee and ran into Jillian and her boys. “How’s your father?” Drew asked.

“Better,” I replied, touched by my nephew’s considerate question. I’d always had a soft spot for Jillian’s kindhearted youngest son. “My dad is anxious to get out of the hospital, but he has to stay a little longer.”

“What about Santa?” Matt asked.

“
Matt,
” Jillian warned, giving her fifteen-year-old a pointed glance before motioning to Travis.

Travis swung the shopping bag in his hand. “It’s okay, Aunt Jillian. I know Pop is Santa.”

Realizing his mistake, Matt tried to rectify it by acting shocked anyone would insinuate the Santa who stopped by church on Christmas Eve was not the
real
Santa. “What? How can you say that?”

Travis groaned. “Stop messing around, Matt. I’m almost eleven, you know.”

I smiled. “Hopefully, someone else will step up and play the role of Santa this evening, but it won’t be my dad.”

Jillian squeezed my arm. “I’m headed out to Mom and Dad’s right now. Why don’t I take Travis with me, and we’ll meet you at church this evening?”

“Can I go, Mom? Please?” Travis asked.

I hesitated. “I wanted to give you a haircut.”

“I’ll get Bianca to do it,” Jillian said. “She’s going to cut Matt and Drew’s hair, so I’m sure she won’t mind. That would give you a break or a chance to visit your dad.”

The word
chance
knocked around my head, and I thought about the
Take a Chance
necklace from the jewelry store. “Actually, there is something I’d like to do, so if you don’t mind taking Travis, that would be wonderful.”

“What do you have to do?” Travis asked. “Buy a present for me?”

I winked at him. “Something like that.”

Nick

I slept in
Christmas Eve morning because I’d stayed up late, looking through the pictures of my mother. I knew from my birth certificate her maiden name was Mary Smith, a name so common there were over thirty-seven thousand in the United States. My father explained she’d simply taken on the history of another Mary Smith.

She hadn’t needed to change her name, only the story that she’d never been married nor had given birth to two little boys.

I didn’t know what to do with this new information. I couldn’t exactly drive down to the governor’s mansion in Austin and say, “Hey, Mom. It’s Nick, the kid you abandoned. How’ve you been?”

If only I could talk to Anna. But now wasn’t the time. Maybe later, after we’d both healed from our breakup. Yet, I didn’t want to break up with her. I loved her. Truly loved her. I’d just messed things up.

While shaving, I remembered the call from the unfamiliar number on Rose Island. I turned up the volume and tapped the message to listen.

“Nick, this is Luella Morgan. Anna’s father had a heart attack and is in surgery right now. I know how close the two of you’ve become . . .

“I know I haven’t been very encouraging of your relationship with her, and I’m sorry. She loves you. I think she’s scared to tell you how she feels, but if you care about her, please don’t give up.”

My pulse raced. I wiped my face with a towel and immediately called the Rose Island hospital, hoping to learn that Anna’s father had made it through surgery.

Why hadn’t I checked my messages last night? Should I just call Anna directly? What if the news wasn’t good, would she want to talk to me?

A woman at the hospital answered, and I explained the situation.

“One moment,” she said.

I held my breath, never expecting to be connected directly to Anna’s father’s room.

“This is Tom Chamberlain,” Anna’s father said in a rough voice.

I hesitated. Even though, technically, I was Tom’s superior officer, I felt nervous and unsure of myself. “This is Nick Peterson. I just heard about your surgery. How are you doing?”

Tom’s voice was strong. “I’m fine, sir, but what’s this about you asking my daughter to marry you without a ring or speaking to me first?”

Anna

W
ith trembling hands,
I drove out to the airfield, knowing if I didn’t go now, I might never do it. My heart pounded, but instead of feeling afraid, I felt empowered. Enough of this anxiety. Enough of focusing on the worst-case scenario. Today, I was going to fly.