American Buffalo (4 page)

BOB
: Well, she asked me.

TEACH
: What?

BOB
: That were you over here.

TEACH
: What did you tell her?

BOB
: You were here.

TEACH
: Oh.
(He looks at
DON
.)

DON
: What did you say to her, Bob?

BOB
: Just Teach was here.

DON
: And is she coming over here?

BOB
: I don’t think so. (They had the plain.)

DON
(to
TEACH
): So? (This is all right.)
(To
BOB
) All right, Bob.

He looks at
TEACH.

TEACH
: That’s all right, Bob.
(To
self)
(Everything’s all right to
some
one . . .)

DON
takes bag and distributes contents to appropriate recipients.

(To
DON
) You shouldn’t eat that shit.

DON
: Why?

TEACH
: It’s just I have a feeling about health foods.

DON
: It’s not health foods, Teach. It’s only yogurt.

TEACH
: That’s not health foods?

DON
: No. They’ve had it forever.

TEACH
: Yogurt?

DON
: Yeah. They used to joke about it on “My Little Margie.”
(To
BOB
) (Way before your time.)

TEACH
: Yeah?

DON
: Yeah.

TEACH
: What the fuck. A little bit can’t hurt you.

DON
: It’s
good
for you.

TEACH
: Okay, okay. Each one his own opinion.
(Pause. To
BOB
) Was Fletcher over there?

BOB
: No.

DON
: Where’s my coffee?

BOB
: It’s not there?

DON
: No.

Pause.

BOB
: I told ‘em specially to put it in.

DON
: Where
is
it?

BOB
: They forgot it.

Pause.

I’ll go back and get it.

DON
: Would you mind?

BOB
: No.

Pause.

DON
: You gonna get it?

BOB
: Yeah.

Pause.

DON
: What, Bob?

BOB
: Can I talk to you?

Pause,
DON
goes
to
BOB.

DON
: What is it?

BOB
: I saw him.

DON
: Who?

BOB
: The guy.

DON
: You saw the guy?

BOB
: Yes.

DON
: That I’m talking about?

BOB
: Yes.

DON
: Just now?

BOB
: Yeah. He’s going somewhere.

DON
: He is.

BOB
: Yeah. He’s puttin’ a suitcase in the car.

DON
: The guy, or both of ‘em?

BOB
: Just him.

DON
: He got in the car he drove off??

BOB
: He’s coming down the stairs . . .

DON
: Yeah.

BOB
: And he’s got the suitcase . . .

DON
nods.

He gets in the car . . .

DON
: Uh-huh . . .

BOB
: He drives away.

DON
: So where is she?

BOB
: He’s goin’ to pick her up.

DON
: What was he wearing?

BOB
: Stuff. Traveling clothes.

DON
: Okay.

Pause.

Now you’re talking. You see what I mean?

BOB
: Yeah.

DON
: All right.

BOB
: And he had a coat, too.

DON
: Now you’re talking.

BOB
: Like a raincoat.

DON
: Yeah.

Pause.

Good.

Pause.

BOB
: Yeah, he’s gone.

DON
: Bob, go get me that coffee, do you mind?

BOB
: No.

DON
: What did you get yourself to eat?

BOB
: I didn’t get anything.

DON
: Well, get me my coffee, and get yourself something to eat, okay?

BOB
: Okay. (Good.)
(Exits.)

Pause.

DON
: How’s your bacon?

TEACH
: Aaaahh, they always fuck it up.

DON
: Yeah.

TEACH
: This time they fucked it up too burnt.

DON
: Mmmm.

TEACH
: You got to be breathing on their neck.

DON
: Mmmm.

TEACH
: Like a lot of things.

DON
: Uh-huh.

TEACH
: Any business . . .

DON
: Yeah.

TEACH
: You want it run right,
be
there.

DON
: Yeah.

TEACH
: Just like you.

DON
: What?

TEACH
: Like the shop.

DON
: Well, no one’s going to run it, I’m not here.

Pause.

TEACH
: No.

Pause.

You have to be here.

DON
: Yeah.

TEACH
: It’s a one-man show.

DON
: Uh-huh.

Pause.

TEACH
: So what is this thing with the kid?

Pause.

I mean, is it anything, uh . . .

DON
: It’s nothing . . .
you
know . . .

TEACH
: Yeah.

Pause.

It’s
what. . . ?

DON
: You know, it’s just some
guy
we spotted.

TEACH
: Yeah. Some
guy.

DON
: Yeah.

TEACH
: (Some guy . . .)

DON
: Yeah.

Pause.

What time is it?

TEACH
: Noon.

DON
: (Noon.) (Fuck.)

TEACH
: What?

Pause.

DON
: You parked outside?

TEACH
: Yeah.

DON
: Are you okay on the meter?

TEACH
: Yeah. The broad came by already.

Pause.

DON
: Good.

Pause.

TEACH
: Oh, yeah, she came by.

DON
: Good.

TEACH
: You want to tell me what this thing is?

DON
(Pause):
The thing?

TEACH
: Yeah.

Pause.

What is it?

DON
: Nothing.

TEACH
: No? What is it, jewelry?

DON
: No. It’s nothing.

TEACH
: Oh.

DON
: You know?

TEACH
: Yeah.

Pause.

Yeah. No. I don’t know.

Pause.

Who am I, a
police
man . . . I’m making conversation, huh?

DON
: Yeah.

TEACH
: Huh?

Pause.

‘Cause you know I’m just asking for talk.

DON
: Yeah. I know. Yeah, okay.

TEACH
: And I can live without this.

DON
(reaches for phone):
Yeah. I know. Hold on, I’ll tell you.

TEACH
: Tell me if you
want
to, Don.

DON
: I want to, Teach.

TEACH
: Yeah?

DON
: Yeah.

Pause.

TEACH
: Well, I’d fucking
hope
so. Am I wrong?

DON
: No. No. You’re right.

TEACH
: I
hope
so.

DON
: No, hold on; I gotta make this call.

TEACH
: Well, all right. So what is it, jewelry?

DON
: No.

TEACH
: What?

DON
: Coins.

TEACH
: (Coins.)

DON
: Yeah. Hold on, I gotta make this call.

DON
hunts for a card, dials telephone.

(Into phone)
Hello? This is Donny Dubrow. We were talking the other day. Lookit, sir, if I could get ahold of some of that stuff you were interested in, would you be interested in some of it?

Pause.

Those
things . . . Old,
yeah.

Pause.

Various pieces of various types.

Pause.

Tonight. Sometime late. Are they
what
...!!?? Yes, but I don’t see what kind of a question is that (at the prices we’re talking about . . .)

Pause.

No, hey, no, I understand
you
. . .

Pause.

Sometime late.

Pause.

One hundred percent.

Pause.

I feel the same. All right Good-bye.
(Hangs up.)
Fucking asshole.

TEACH
: Guys like that, I like to fuck their wives.

DON
: I don’t blame you.

TEACH
: Fucking
jerk . . .

DON
: (I swear to God . . .)

TEACH
: That guy’s a collector?

DON
: Who?

TEACH
: The phone guy.

DON
: Yeah.

TEACH
: And the other guy?

DON
: We spotted?

TEACH
: Yeah.

DON
: Him, too.

TEACH
: So you hit him for his coins.

DON
: Yeah.

TEACH
: —And you got a buyer in the phone guy.

DON
: (Asshole.)

TEACH
: The thing is you’re not sitting with the shit.

DON
: No.

TEACH
: The guy’s an asshole or he’s not, what do you care? It’s business.

Pause.

DON
: You’re right.

TEACH
: The guy with the suitcase, he’s the mark.

DON
: Yeah.

TEACH
: How’d you find him?

DON
: In here.

TEACH
: Came in here, huh?

DON
: Yeah.

TEACH
: (No shit.)

Pause.

DON
: He comes in here one day, like a week ago.

TEACH
: For what?

DON
: Just browsing. So he’s looking in the case, he comes up and with this
buffalo-head
nickel . . .

TEACH
: Yeah . . .

DON
: From nineteen-something. (I don’t know. I didn’t even know it’s there . . .)

TEACH
: Uh-huh . . .

DON
: . . . and he goes, “How much would that be?”

TEACH
: Uh-huh . . .

DON
: So I’m about to go, “Two bits,” jerk that I am, but something tells me to shut up, so I go, “You tell me.”

TEACH
: Always good business.

DON
:
Oh
yeah.

TEACH
: How wrong can you go?

DON
: That’s what I mean, so then he thinks a minute, and he tells me he’ll just
shop
a bit.

TEACH
: Uh-huh . . .
(Stares out of window.)

DON
: And so he’s
shopping
. . . What?

TEACH
: Some cops.

DON
: Where?

TEACH
: At the corner.

DON
: What are they doing?

TEACH
: Cruising.

Pause.

DON
: They tum the corner?

TEACH
(waits): Yeah.

Pause.

DON
: . . . And so he’s shopping. And he’s picking up a beat-up
mirror
. . . an old
kid’s
toy . . . a
shaving
mug . . .

TEACH
: . . . right . . .

DON
: Maybe five, six things, comes to eight bucks. I get ‘em and I put ‘em in a box and then he tells me he’ll go fifty dollars for the nickel.

TEACH
: No.

DON
: Yeah. So I tell him (get this), “Not a chance.”

TEACH
: (Took balls.)

DON
: (Well, what-the-fuck . . .)

TEACH
: (No, I mean it.)

DON
: (I took a chance.)

TEACH
: (You’re goddamn right.)

Pause.

DON
(shrugs):
So I say, “Not a chance,” he tells me eighty is his highest offer.