All's Well That Ends Well (16 page)

PAROLLES
    I'll
no more
²⁷⁰
drumming. A plague of all

drums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to
beguile the
²⁷¹

supposition of that lascivious young boy, the count, have I

run into this danger. Yet who would have suspected an

ambush where I was taken?

INTERPRETER
    There is no remedy, sir, but you must die. The

general says, you that have so traitorously
discovered
²⁷⁶
the

secrets of your army and made such
pestiferous
²⁷⁷
reports of

men very nobly
held
²⁷⁸
, can serve the world for no honest use:

therefore you must die. Come, headsman, off with his head.

PAROLLES
    O lord, sir, let me live, or let me see my death!

FIRST LORD
    That shall you, and take your leave of all your

friends. So, look about you: know you any here?

BERTRAM
    Good morrow, noble captain.

SECOND LORD
    God bless you, Captain Parolles.

FIRST LORD
    God save you, noble captain.

SECOND LORD
    Captain, what greeting will
you
²⁸⁶
to my Lord Lafew?

I am
for
²⁸⁷
France.

FIRST LORD
    Good captain, will you give me a copy of the sonnet

you writ to Diana
in
²⁸⁹
behalf of the Count Rossillion? An I

were not
a very
²⁹⁰
coward, I'd compel it of you. But fare you

well.

INTERPRETER
    You are
undone
²⁹²
, captain — all your scarf that has

a knot on't yet.

PAROLLES
    Who cannot be crushed with a plot?

INTERPRETER
    If you could find out a country where
but
²⁹⁵
women

were that had received so much shame, you might begin an

impudent
²⁹⁷
nation. Fare ye well, sir. I am for France too. We

shall speak of you there.

PAROLLES
    Yet am I thankful. If my heart were
great
²⁹⁹

'Twould burst at this. Captain I'll be no more,

But I will eat and drink, and sleep as soft

As captain shall. Simply the thing I am

Shall make me live.
Who
³⁰³
knows himself a braggart,

Let him fear this; for it will come to pass

That every braggart shall be found an ass.

Rust, sword. Cool, blushes. And, Parolles, live

Safest in shame. Being
fooled
³⁰⁷
, by fool'ry thrive;

There's place and means for every man alive.

I'll after them.

HELEN
    That you may well perceive I have not wronged you,

One of the greatest in the Christian world
²

Shall be my
surety
³
, 'fore whose throne 'tis needful,

Ere I can perfect mine intents, to kneel.

Time was, I did him a desirèd office,

Dear almost as his life,
which gratitude
⁶

Through
flinty
Tartar's
⁷
bosom would peep forth,

And answer thanks. I duly am informed

His grace is at Marseilles, to which place

We have
convenient convoy.
¹⁰
You must know

I am supposèd dead. The army
breaking
¹¹
,

My husband
hies him
¹²
home, where, heaven aiding,

And by the leave of my good lord the king,

We'll be before
our welcome.
¹⁴

WIDOW
    Gentle madam,

You never had a servant to whose trust

Your business was more welcome.

HELEN
    Nor you, mistress,

Ever a friend whose thoughts more truly labour

To recompense your love. Doubt not but heaven

Hath brought me up to
be
your daughter's
dower
²¹
,

As it hath fated her to be my
motive
²²

And helper to a husband. But, O strange men,

That can such sweet use make of what they hate,

When
saucy trusting
of the
cozened
²⁵
thoughts

Defiles
the
pitchy
²⁶
night, so lust doth play

With what it
loathes
for that which is away.
²⁷

But more of this hereafter. You, Diana,

Under my poor instructions
yet
²⁹
must suffer

Something in my behalf.

DIANA
    Let
death and honesty
³¹

Go with
your
impositions
³²
, I am yours,

Upon
³³
your will to suffer.

HELEN
    
Yet
³⁴
, I pray you:

But with the word
³⁵
the time will bring on summer,

When briars shall have leaves as well as thorns,

And be as sweet as sharp. We must away.

Our wagon is prepared, and time
revives
³⁸
us:

All's well that ends well, still the
fine's
³⁹
the crown;

Whate'er the course, the end is the
renown.
⁴⁰

LAFEW
    No, no, no, your son was misled
with
a
snipt-taffeta
¹

fellow there, whose villainous
saffron
²
would have made all

the
unbaked
and
doughy
³
youth of a nation in his colour.

Your
⁴
daughter-in-law had been alive at this hour, and your

son here at home, more advanced by the king than by that

red-tailed
humble-bee
⁶
I speak of.

COUNTESS
    I would I had not known him. It was the death of

the most virtuous gentlewoman that ever nature had praise

for creating. If she had partaken of my flesh, and cost me the

dearest
groans of a mother
¹⁰
, I could not have owed her a

more
rooted
¹¹
love.

LAFEW
    'Twas a good lady, 'twas a good lady. We may pick a

thousand salads ere we
light on
¹³
such another herb.

LAVATCH
    Indeed, sir, she was the
sweet marjoram
¹⁴
of the

salad, or rather, the
herb of grace.
¹⁵

LAFEW
    They are not
herbs
, you knave, they are
nose-herbs.
¹⁶

LAVATCH
    I am no great
Nebuchadnezzar
¹⁷
, sir. I have not much

skill in
grace.
¹⁸

LAFEW
    
Whether
¹⁹
dost thou profess thyself, a knave or a fool?

LAVATCH
    A
fool
, sir, at a woman's
service
²⁰
, and a knave at a

man's.

LAFEW
    Your distinction?

LAVATCH
    I would
cozen
the man of his wife and do his
service.
²³

LAFEW
    So you were a knave at his service, indeed.

LAVATCH
    And I would give his wife my
bauble
, sir, to
do
²⁵
her

service.

LAFEW
    I will
subscribe
²⁷
for thee, thou art both knave and

fool.

LAVATCH
    At your service.

LAFEW
    No, no, no.

LAVATCH
    Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve as great a

prince as you are.

LAFEW
    Who's that? A Frenchman?

LAVATCH
    Faith, sir, a has an English
maine
, but his
fisnomy
³⁴
is

more
hotter in France
³⁵
than there.

LAFEW
    What prince is that?

LAVATCH
    The
black prince
³⁷
, sir, alias the prince of darkness,

alias the devil.

LAFEW
    
Hold thee
³⁹
, there's my purse: I give thee

not this to
suggest
⁴⁰
thee from thy master thou talkest of. Serve

him still.

LAVATCH
    I am a
woodland
⁴²
fellow, sir, that always loved a

great
fire
⁴³
, and the master I speak of ever keeps a good fire.

But sure he is the
prince of the world.
⁴⁴
Let his nobility remain

in's court. I am for the house with the
narrow gate
⁴⁵
, which I

take to be too little for
pomp
⁴⁶
to enter. Some that humble

themselves may, but the
many
will be too
chill
and
tender
⁴⁷
,

and they'll be for the flowery way that leads to the broad gate

and the great fire.

LAFEW
    
Go thy ways
⁵⁰
, I begin to be aweary of thee, and I tell

thee so
before
⁵¹
, because I would not fall out with thee. Go thy

ways. Let my horses be well looked to, without any
tricks.
⁵²

LAVATCH
    If I put any tricks upon 'em, sir, they shall be
jades'
⁵³

tricks, which are their own right by the law of nature.

LAFEW
    A
shrewd
knave and an
unhappy.
⁵⁵

COUNTESS
    So a is. My lord that's
gone
⁵⁶
made himself much

sport out of him. By his authority he remains here, which he

thinks is a patent for his sauciness, and indeed he has no

pace
⁵⁹
, but runs where he will.

LAFEW
    I like him well, 'tis not amiss. And I was about to tell

you, since I heard of the good
lady's
⁶¹
death and that my lord

your son was upon his return home, I
moved
⁶²
the king my

master to speak in the behalf of my daughter, which, in the

minority
of them both, his majesty, out of a
self-gracious
⁶⁴

remembrance did first
propose.
⁶⁵
His highness hath promised

me to do it, and to stop up the displeasure he hath conceived

against your son, there is no fitter matter. How does your

ladyship like it?

COUNTESS
    With very much content, my lord, and I wish it

happily effected.

LAFEW
    His highness comes
post
⁷¹
from Marseilles, of as able

body as when he
numbered
⁷²
thirty. A will be here tomorrow,

or I am deceived by
him
that in such
intelligence
⁷³
hath

seldom failed.

COUNTESS
    It rejoices me that I hope I shall see him ere I die. I

have letters that my son will be here tonight. I shall beseech

your lordship to remain with me till they meet together.

LAFEW
    Madam, I was thinking
with what manners I might
⁷⁸

safely be admitted.

COUNTESS
    You need
but
plead
your honourable privilege.
⁸⁰

LAFEW
    Lady, of that I have made a bold
charter
⁸¹
, but I thank

my God it holds yet.