All of Me (29 page)

Nathan shot her a
look.

“Okay, okay, I’ll
stop analyzing you.  For now.  Anyway, I was thinking maybe we could invite
Danny to the next family dinner.”  

“Danny in the same
room with six females?” Nathan scoffed.  “We might not be able to keep our food
down with all the schmoozing going on.”

Stella laughed. 
“Yeah, but he has to be feeling lonely now that you’re always with me.”

“Nah.  We didn’t
do too much socializing outside of work anyway.”

“Why’s that?”

Nathan looked out
the driver’s side window.  “Because Danny’s favorite places to hang out are
bars, strip clubs, dance clubs, and strange women’s homes he’s met at the
previously mentioned locations.”

“Oh.”  Stella was
quiet for a few seconds and Nathan figured Danny was now off her Christmas
list.  She surprised him by saying, “That kinda makes me sad.  I mean, I’m sure
he’s having a blast and maybe it’s just me, but that seems like a really sad,
lonely way to live.  Does he have any family?” 

“No.  The last
foster family he lived with was good to him, but they were an elderly couple
and have both since passed away.”

“Now I
really
think we should invite Danny next time.  He’s your family and now you’re our
family, so he’s family too.”

Nathan had noticed
the very tenuous and often manufactured reasons for bringing more people into
Italian families:  taking in wounded birds and stuffing as much food and
affection down their throats as they could handle.  And then stuffing just a
little bit more.

Danny had no idea
what was about to hit him.  And Nathan had his own healthy amount of fear about
it too.  He’d seen it over and over again growing up, but he’d never been a
personal recipient of it.  Nathan hadn’t had any real friends and had always
been the quiet loner, so not too many connections there.  But he’d gone to
school with enough Italians and now interacted with them enough on the force to
know their tricks.

“Are cops even
allowed to go to strip clubs?  That seems like a pretty gross thing for an
officer of the law to be doing.”

“There’s nothing
illegal about them.  At least in theory.  In fact, half the department went to
a strip club a few nights ago for a bachelor party.  Danny included.”

“And you didn’t
want to go?” 

“Of course not.”

“Why?”

Nathan stopped at
a light and looked over at Stella.  “Because I’d rather see you naked any day
of the week.”  When Stella smiled, he shrugged and faced forward.  “And,
anyway, I think you know by now I’m not into stuff like that.  I’m not into
treating women like inanimate objects and I have no interest in watching other
people do it either.”

Stella squeezed
Nathan’s hand.  “You’re a good person, Nathan.  I know you don’t see it and I
know it’s hard for you to believe it, but you are.  And I just want you to know
that I love you and think the world of you.”  She kissed the back of his hand. 
“And my family will too.”

***

Poor Nathan. 

Stella probably
should have warned him about the mass chaos he’d be stepping in to.  Her four
sisters were bad enough, but five kids?  Her brother in law (who’d hugged
Nathan –
hugged
him – when they’d met? 

They’d gotten
through all of the introductions and now Nathan and Nina were outside talking
shop while Marco was throwing a ball around with the girls.  Pops and was mid-
Matlock
marathon and Stella, Carla, Fi, and Gigi were cooking. 

“He’s gorgeous,
Stella.  And he seems like a sweetheart,” Carla said, chopping some tomatoes
for the salad.  “And you look really, really happy.”

“I am.”  Stella
looked through the kitchen window.  When Nathan caught the ball Marco tossed
him and started playing with the kids, her heart ached. 

Is it fair to
hold on to him when you can’t give him a family of his own?

Stella shook off
the maudlin thoughts.  There was always adoption.  And even talking Nathan into
that would be an uphill fight, considering what kind of father he thought he’d
be.

Stella smiled back
at Carla.  “He’s the greatest guy I’ve ever met.”

“Hey!  What am I,
chopped liver?” Pops called from the other room. 

They all laughed. 
“Besides you, of course, Pops!”  Stella called back.  “And Marco!  And the
boys!”

“He’s very
serious, Stella.  And quiet,” Fi said.  She walked a bread basket into the
dining room and came back.  “He’s kind of intimidating.”

“Opposites
attract,” Gigi chimed in.  “Like Marco is a real pain in the ass and I’m an
angel…like that.”

A raucous outburst
of laughing and guffawing followed.

Gigi’s brows rose. 
“What are you all saying?”

“That Marco is a
frickin saint and you are a
huge
pain in his ass,” Kat said and everyone
else echoed the sentiment.

“Thanks a lot,
sisters
,”
Gigi said, grinning. 

“But you’re right,
Fi.  He
is
serious.  And he’s all about following the rules.  Exactly. 
And he doesn’t talk unless he has something to say,” Stella said, watching his
muscles flex and glisten out in the sun. 

Damn he looked
delicious in that backwards hat and those sunglasses.  She melted when Nathan
cracked a smile at Gabby’s hysterical touch down dance.

“Unlike someone
else we know who rambles on and on just to fill the space, breaks all the rules
on purpose, and is completely emotionally unstable.  Ow!”  Fi yelped when
Stella pinched her.  Fi rubbed at her arm.  “Just making an observation, Stell,
geez.”

Gigi leaned in. 
“Is he so incredible in bed that you can’t even stand it?”

“Yeah,
Stell…spill.”  Fi grinned as she hugged the water pitcher to her chest.
“Details, please.  Now.”

Stella looked
around to make sure no one was within earshot.  “Without getting too gross and
personal about it, I will just say that he is
amazing
.”

Even Carla sighed
and she was a lesbian.

“There’s something
crazy that happens when you really connect with someone…”  Stella shook her
head, a slow grin spreading across her face.  “We can’t get enough of each
other.  And I am so crazy in love with him it’s not even funny.  Like, didn’t
think it was possible in love.  Like, soul mate in love.”

Gigi and Carla
sighed, smiling and nodding.

“Okay, okay, I’m
gonna barf,” Fi said, but she kissed Stella’s cheek as she walked by.  “No need
to rub it in for Christ’s sake.”

“I know it’s
sickening.  Sorry,” Stella said with a laugh.

“Sounds nice,
Stella.  I’m happy for you.”  Kat leaned her cane on the counter and wrapped
both arms around Stella. “You deserve to be happy.  And if Nathan makes you
happy, then I am thrilled for you both.”

Stella tightened
her arms around Kat and fought back against sudden tears. 

Because Kat might
not ever find anyone.  She was a tough nut to crack; introverted and super
intelligent and very difficult to get to know.  Kat was beautiful, but she had
a debilitating neurological disease and not too many guys in their twenties –
or any age – were looking to take that on.  Stella worried about her.  Often. 
But at least she had the family and always would. 

“I love you,
Kitty-Kat,” Stella whispered, pulling her in even tighter.

“I love you too,
Stella, but you’re suffocating me.”

They both laughed
as Stella loosened her grip.  Stella turned and wiped her tears before Kat
could see them. 

Everybody got
called to dinner.  Stella was very happy to see that Marco and Nathan seemed to
getting along well.  Marco was the easiest going man on earth, but Nathan? 
Well, just like Kat he was a pretty tough nut to crack.  And not big on
physical contact, which was why Stella had to bite back a grin when, in the
span of about 30 seconds, five people touched him in various ways.  The poor
guy looked ready to bolt for the door.

But he didn’t.  He
sat down between Nina (wise choice as she was also not a big toucher) and
Gigi’s oldest boy, Carlo (who was staring up at Nathan with adoration).  Carlo
wanted to follow in his Zia Nina’s footsteps and become a police officer and so
to spend time with a male police officer was like Carlo’s idea of adolescent
heaven (minus the naked women, video games, and pizza rolls).

Water and wine was
poured and the bread basket passed as Gigi doled out heaping helpings of
homemade ravioli, gnocchi, stuffed shells, and sausage and peppers to
everyone.  Nathan didn’t say a word as Gigi loaded up his plate, even though
Stella knew he wasn’t going to be able to eat a quarter of it.

Stella met his
eyes across the table and smiled warmly.  He reciprocated with a Nathan smile: 
eyes barely crinkled, lips barely lifted, and still managing to look stern. 
Stella mouthed “I love you” and watched a flush creep up his neck as he did a
subtle glance around to see if anyone had noticed.  Luckily for him, everyone
was so busy stuffing their faces and talking that they hadn’t seen Stella’s
apparently mortifying declaration of love. 

Carlo asked him a
question about what kind of gun he carried.

“Don’t you answer
that, Nathan!”  Gigi called from down the table.  “That boy is becoming a CPA
or a doctor.  No more police officers in this family.  I can hardly sleep at
night as it is!”

“A CPA?  Really,
Gig?”  Nina scoffed as she cut up some sausage for Sam.  “What, you want him to
bore the rest of us into early graves?”

“Better to be a
bore than having my baby buried six feet under over at St. Matthias.”  Gigi
signed the cross.  “It’s too dangerous, right, Nathan?”  She widened her eyes
to emphasize her desire for Nathan to play along, as if her overdramatic
enunciation wasn’t enough. “He should do something else, right?  Because being
a police officer nowadays is too dangerous, right?”

“Ma!”  Poor Carlo
looked mortified.  He glanced at Nathan’s stoic expression then back at this
mother.  “Stop.  Please.”

Carla asked Kat a
question about some new medication she was taking and the conversation veered
that way.  Out of the corner of her eye, Stella saw Nathan very subtly lean
left toward Carlo.  After he’d made sure Gigi wasn’t looking, she watched him
tell Carlo that he carried a Glock 22.  Carlo’s eyes lit up as he peppered
Nathan with questions about other police stuff; which Nathan listened to
intently and answered patiently. 

Stella wanted to
yell at him to stop being so perfect.  To do something horrific and mean and
upsetting.  Because this guy would
not
let up on her.  She spent all
day, every day panting after him and this polite, patient behavior with her
family wasn’t helping. And neither had watching him putz around her house all
day fixing things.  Or waking up to find out he’d detailed her car and watered
her lawn. 

It was all too
much for one woman to bear. 

They finished
dinner and cleaned up (Nathan adorably dried the dishes Stella had washed). She
managed to hug him once and pinch his butt a few times when no one was looking,
which earned her some stern expressions. 

“I’m gonna go get
some fresh air.  Come out when you’re ready,” Pops said to Fi who was driving
him home.

“Okay, Pops.  Be
right there,” Fi said.  “I just have to ask Kat something.”

Pops lifted his
hand in a wave and walked out the side door. 

Chapter
Twenty-Four

Nathan extended
his hand to Marco and then Carlo (who hadn’t been more than a foot from him all
night).  “Thank you for having me.  And for dinner.”

Stella’s sister,
Gigi, opened her arms and smiled at Nathan expectantly.

“Uh, Nathan’s not
a big…” 

Gigi wrapped her
arms around Nathan and squeezed.  “You are more than welcome.  Any time. 
Stella loves you, so we love you.  And pretty soon we’ll love you just because
we do.”

Aaaaaaaand
there it was.  Adoption complete.

Stella pulled at
Gigi’s arm, laughing.  “Okay,
cara
, you can let him go.  He gets it.”

Gigi and Marco
stood there beaming at him for god-knew-what-reason.

“We’re just so
happy you came.  You’ll come next week again, right?” Gigi asked.

Shaking her head,
Stella shoved at Nathan’s arm.  “You can go wait in the car.  I’ll be right
there.” 

Nathan didn’t have
to be told twice.  He said goodbye to everyone else and stepped out onto the
side driveway. 

Stella’s dad was
sitting on the porch, smoking.  He smiled at Nathan as he walked up.  “I love
them all, but they are a handful, eh?  Lots of women in one space is never
easy.”   His smile faded.  “And it’s always hard being all together without my
Francesca.”  He took a long drag on his cigarette.  Stella’s dad looked back at
Nathan.  “You remember her, yeah?  My wife Francesca?”

Nathan nodded. 

“She worried about
you.  A lot.  Cried and cried every time you came in.”  Mr. Ciaramitaro shook
his head.  “It was a damn shame.  We called the authorities again and again and
nobody would do nothing.”  His eyes, as dark and deep as Stella’s, met
Nathan’s. “I’m very sorry about that, son.  I want you to know we tried.”

Nathan was feeling
way too much about way too many things to speak.  Or do much more than simply
nod again.

“I couldn’t
believe when Stell said your name.  I never thought I’d hear it again.”  Mr.
Ciaramitaro took another drag.  “I’m so glad to see you turned out fine.”

Yeah, not
really.

Nathan cleared his
throat.  “Mr. Ciaramitaro…thank you…for all of the food you gave me back
then.”  Nathan leaned against the porch support post and crossed his arms over
his chest.  “You literally kept my brothers and I alive for all those years.”

Stella’s dad waved
off Nathan’s gratitude.  “Frannie and me always thought we should have done
more.  And then one day you disappeared and we worried.  But Frannie prayed the
rosary every day for you.  Lit candles at the church too.”  Mr. Ciaramitaro
smiled.  “She’d be so happy to see how you turned out.  And that you are making
our Stell so happy.”

Nathan’s throat
tightened and he wondered how Mr. C would react to him punching the porch
post.  Or sobbing.  “I’m sure you have…concerns…about me seeing Stella.  But I
want to assure you that I am more than capable of taking care of her.  And that
I’m nothing like that person you used to know.”

“Person?” 
Stella’s dad scoffed.  “You were a starving, scared little baby.”  He wagged a
finger at Nathan.  “But so smart.  And always so polite.”  Mr. C dropped the
Camel butt on the porch and snuffed it out with the heel of his shoe. 

He stood and faced
Nathan.  And even though Nathan was about six inches taller, Mr. C seemed
bigger than life.  “My Stella is so smart too.  And tough.  You know about what
she’s been through?”  When Nathan nodded, so did Mr. C.  “Yeah.  My baby.  But
she’s always been my tough one.  My little spitfire.  And so, if my Stella says
she loves you and that you make her happy, I know that’s how it is.  And that
means all of my Frannie’s prayers came true, huh?  She always thought we should
have taken you in and now here you are…a part of our family after all.”

Thank God Stella
chose that minute to come through the front door.  Because Nathan was
dangerously close to bawling like a little bitch in front of Stella’s dad.

“Ready to go?” 
Stella gave her dad a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.  She must have sensed
some weird tension because looked back and forth between them a few time. 
“Everything okay here?”

Mr. C waved off
her concern.  “Fine.  Good.  I was just telling your
caro
about new
refrigeration system we put in at C’s.”

“Yeah, you and
Nathan are two peas in a pod with all that boring, mechanical, tool stuff.” 
Stella wound her arm through Nathan’s.  “And you’ll be happy to know, Pops,
that Nathan was as disappointed and concerned about my messy garage as you
always are.  He’s already been poking around in there.  Pretty soon I won’t be
able to find anything.”

They said their
good-byes and Nathan and Stella hopped into his Denali. 

“So, was it as bad
as you expected?”  Stella asked, wincing.

“It was fine. 
They were all great.”

“Were you able to
eat anything?”

“Yeah.”

Stella eyed him. 
“Did Pops say something that upset you?”

“No, Stella, he
was fine.  It was fine.”

“Can you talk to
me about what’s wrong then?” she asked quietly.

“Stella, Jesus
Christ, nothing is wrong.  Do we have to talk every minute of every day?  I
just spent hours being more social than I usually am in months.  Just let me
decompress, okay?  Without the interrogation.  Please.”

“Can we talk about
it later at least?”

Nathan shrugged.
   Stella threw her hands up.  “Well, then let’s do it now!  Because it’s gonna
happen one way or another, Nathan, so let’s get it over with!  I won’t be able
to sleep otherwise.  So, come on!  Talk to me.  Tell me what’s going on with
you, okay?”

Nathan laughed. 
Out loud.  He shook his head.  “You are the most stubborn, pushy, nosy,
relentless, verbal human being on this planet.”  He looked over at her.  “You
know that, right?”

When she said “yeah”
with a resigned sigh, Nathan laughed again.

Stella took his
hand and held it in both of hers.  “I just want to know what’s going on in your
head.  I can’t stand that I can’t tell how you are feeling or what you are
thinking.  It drives me nuts.  And talking about stuff is always a good idea. 
Holding stuff in is bad for you, you know?”

Nathan scoffed. 
“That is your personal philosophy for sure.  I’m not sure it’s an accurate one,
but it’s yours –no doubt about that.”

Stella’s lips
curled into a little smile.  She kissed the back of his hand and he turned his
hand to run his fingers along her jawline.  A few seconds later, his eyes met
hers and they were smoldering.

Stella laughed. 
“Oh, yeah?”  She tapped her lips with a fingertip.  “I say, no heart-to-heart,
no bump and grind.  How about that?”

“We’ll see about
that.”

Stella didn’t know
if Nathan was attacking her because he wanted to have sex or distract her or
both, but she didn’t really care either way.  Not when he was pressing her up
against the door like this; pinning her wrists to the back of her front door
with his hands and going after her mouth like he was starving for her.

Stella broke their
kiss, panting.  “Let go.  I want to touch you,” she half-begged, pulling at his
hands.  But Nathan didn’t let go.  He came after her harder, deeper, and his
hold never let up.

Stella groaned
into his mouth and Nathan leaned his pelvis into her.  The feel of his rock
hard erection pressing against her clitoris did nothing to quell her desire to
put her hands all over his body.

Without warning,
Nathan lifted her up – hands gripping her butt and pulling her into him. 
Stella wrapped her arms around his neck for leverage and kissed him back hard
as he carried her into the bedroom.

It took him three
seconds to rip her clothes off – and his own - and toss her back on the bed. 

After smoothly
positioning himself on top of her, Nathan pinned her hands above her head.  And
Stella groaned in frustration.

“I need this,
Stella.  To do this to you,” he whispered huskily against her throat.  He
tightened his hold on her wrists.  “Like this.”  Nathan licked up her carotid
and then gently bit her collarbone.  When his breath hit the damp skin of her
ear, Stella shivered.