All of Me (38 page)

Chapter
Thirty-Two

5 Months Later
…

“Push, Stella!” 
Gigi said, holding onto Stella’s right leg.

Nathan was
supposed to be holding onto to Stella’s left leg, but the most he could manage
was a hand barely hanging onto her knee while he hyperventilated into a paper
bag the nurse had handed him. 

Because he’d
already passed out twice and was pretty damn close to doing it again.

Nathan lowered the
bag and tried to concentrate on helping his wife bring their baby girl into the
world.  But then he caught sight of what he could only assume was Gia’s head
emerging from Stella’s body and he dropped backwards into the chair.  Again.

Fiorella laughed
from behind the camera she had trained on Stella for the big moment.  “Haven’t
you delivered a bunch of babies in the backs of cars and on the sides of roads,
Nathan?” 

If he’d had the
strength, Nathan would have delivered Fi a scathing look that would have shut
her right up, but he didn’t have it in him at the moment.  All he could manage
was a halfway decent dirty look sent in her general direction.

“Leave him alone,
Fi,” Kat said with a pat to Nathan’s head as she pushed back Stella’s sweaty
hair off her forehead with the other hand.  “He’s doing fine.”

“Better than
Nina,” Fi called out, laughing. 

Nina had been
forced out of the room.  She had been a bossy, frenzied ball of nervous energy;
pacing around and barking orders and criticizing the way the staff was handling
her niece’s delivery.  Carla had finally dragged her out, saying it they had to
do the very important job of getting the car seat installed (even though Nathan
had done that four months ago).

Pops, Danny,
Marco, the boys, Gabby, Sam, Stellan, and Christopher were all in the hospital
waiting room.  Nathan imagined there was a lot of pacing going on.  Gigi’s boys
had been advised to bring their iPad for Pops so he could download a few
episodes of
Jake and the Fat Man
to keep him busy. 

“It’s burning!”
Stella said and Nathan jumping to his feet. 

Well, it didn’t
take the doctor to know why.  Gia’s head was poking out.

“
Oh, my God
,”
Nathan breathed out, suddenly spell bound at the sight of his daughter
emerging. 

“Don’t pass out
now, Dad!” Stella’s OB, Dr. Kent, said to Nathan with a laugh.  She did
something hideous with her hands and Gia’s head that Nathan knew no amount of
time or medication would wipe from his memory.  “This is the good part!”

Dr. Kent
maneuvered Gia’s head and told Stella to push as hard as she could.  She looked
up at Nathan with a shit-eating grin.  “Watch this…”  To Stella she said,
“Push, Stella, honey!  Push!”

Stella grabbed her
knees and bore down; pushing so hard Nathan was worried she would hurt
herself.  Or send Gia catapulting across the room. 

Nathan watched,
transfixed, as Gia’s face – the face he’d been waiting 9 months to see in
person – popped out.  Then her shoulders.  And then the rest of her slid out
into Dr. Kent’s waiting hands.

“Oh, my God,
Stell!  She’s beautiful!  Amazing!”  Fi called out, crying and laughing
simultaneously.  “She’s the sweetest thing!”

“Good job, honey,”
Gigi said, crying, her arm wrapped around Stella’s shoulders. 

Kat walked over to
watch the nurses clean Gia off.  She looked up at Nathan and Stella, eyes full
of tears.  “She’s just beautiful, you guys.  So incredible.”

“Why isn’t she
crying?”  Stella asked hoarsely.  She’d fallen back onto the pillow after
delivering the placenta. Her was head turned, watching everything they did to Gia
like a hawk while the doctor finished up her stuff. 

“She’s fine,
sweetie,” one of the nurse’s called out as she wrapped Gia in a white blanket. 
“Just chillin.’”

“She must get that
from Nathan’s side,” Fi said, snapping a thousand pictures of Stella, Gia, the
nurses, the doctor, and, unfortunately, Nathan.

Who was still just
standing there like a dumbstruck asshole. 

“Nathan?”  He
looked down to find Stella looking up at him; a tiny smile tugging at her
lips.  “You okay, my love?”

Nathan stared at
her face.  Awestruck.  And terrified.  And more in love with her than he’d ever
been – which he would have thought impossible 14 hours ago. 

“
Stella
…” 
He pushed her errant waves back off her damp forehead and stared into her
eyes.  He wanted to say a million things, but all he could manage was “
Oh,
my God
.” 

She grabbed his
hand and squeezed.  “I know.”  Stella turned to find them walking Gia over to
her.  Stella lifted her arms and took Gia from them and Nathan’s heart broke
into a million pieces…in a good way, if that was possible.

Watching Stella
hold their baby like that…like it was the most natural thing in the
world…Nathan had never seen anything more beautiful or perfect and he knew he
never would.

“She’s gorgeous,”
Stella whispered, rubbing Gia’s chubby little cheek with her fingertip. 

And she
was
gorgeous.  With a mess of dark hair, smooth pink skin, and the most perfect
little lips.  Nathan remembered studying those lips on the ultrasound until his
eyes had crossed.  And now he was seeing them in person.  It was fucking
surreal
.

“Here…” 

Stella lifted the
baby bundle up to Nathan, but he hesitated.  “I don’t think I should.  Yet.  I
might drop her.”

“Sit down,” Gigi
said, already shoving him into the chair.  She took the baby from Stella,
oohed
and
ahhed
over her for a few seconds and handed her to Nathan.  “There
you go.  There’s your daddy.”

Weird sparks of
electricity shot through every nerve ending Nathan had as he held her tiny
little body in his hands.  He stared at her little face and nose and lips and
long, dark eyelashes and was filled with such emotion…he almost couldn’t handle
the power of all of the feelings. 

Our baby.

“Hi, Gia,” he
whispered and she pursed her little baby lips in response.  Nathan smiled, eyes
overflowing with tears of joy. 

Stella’s heart was
so full she worried it might burst.  The look on Nathan’s face as he held Gia
was priceless.  And everything she’d dreamed of and fought for all those months
ago when she’d thought she’d lost him.

“That’s some
Ciaramitaro hair.  And definitely our little overbite,” Kat said, rubbing Gia’s
lips with her fingertip as Nathan’s tears continued to flow.  She straightened
up and gave him a couple pats on the back.  “But a Drazek nose for sure.  And,
God willing, the Drazek personality, right, Nathan?”

Stella watched,
still dazed and overwhelmed, as Nathan stared down at the little person who was
half him and half her.  And all Daddy’s Girl already as she wrapped her hand
around his finger. 

“Let’s go, girls,”
Kat said, rounding up the sisters and trying to shepherd them out the door. 
“Let’s go tell everyone the good news.  I’m sure Marco’s cuticles are shredded
by now.”

Gigi, Fi, and Kat
all gave the baby a quick kiss and Stella and Nathan quick hugs before filing
out. 

Stella didn’t know
when or how, but suddenly she and Nathan were all alone with Gia.  Just the
three of them.  Their little family.

“You okay?” she
asked him.

He lifted his
whiskey eyes to hers.  They were less sad, but still full of fear.  “I don’t
think so,” he replied softly. 

And she knew he
wasn’t being facetious.

But Stella felt
herself drifting.  Her eyelids were suddenly heavy and she knew at any minute
she was going to pass out harder than Nathan had.  Poor guy.

“Come sit by me.”  She
scooted over a little and Nathan sat perched on the edge of the bed, still
holding Gia like he might break her.  They sat there like that, staring at a
blissfully unaware Gia, until she crinkled up her nose and they both laughed.

“I think we’re
annoying her already,” Stella said.  But when she looked up, Nathan wasn’t
laughing anymore.  In fact, he looked as serious as she’d ever seen him. 
Stella held his eyes.  “What are you thinking?”

Nathan cleared his
throat.  “You look like you need a nap, so I’m gonna keep this brief.  I have a
few things I need to say.  I don’t want to because they scare me to say. 
Because I feel like if I say them, it will all go to shit.”  Nathan took a deep
breath.  “But Dr. Pastorelli says I need to say them anyway.  Because…”  He
made a distasteful face.  “Because I deserve to feel happiness.  And talking
about the happiness isn’t going to make it any less real.  And he says I owe it
to you to tell you how I’m feeling.  To make myself vulnerable.  And that your
acceptance of those feelings will…I don’t know…help with my trust issues or
some shit.”

God, I love
this man.

Stella smiled at
him through tears.  “Okay.  Awesome.  Shoot.”

He met her eyes
and held them.  “Thank you.  For this.  For all of it.”  Nathan looked down at
Gia, then back up at Stella.  “Not just for Gia.  But for everything.”  He
inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly.  Then he scoffed.  “God, am I shitty at
this.”

“No, you’re not.” 
Stella kissed his bicep and leaned her head on it.  “You’re doing just fine. 
Keep going.”

“I know I’ve told
you some stuff…about how it was before for me.  About how…lonely…I was.” 
Nathan looked down at Gia.  “About how I wanted to marry someone just like me
so my life could be really quiet and simple.”

When Stella
snorted, he smiled.  “Yeah.  This is nothing like how I thought my life would
turn out. 
Thank God
.” 

Stella closed her
eyes and snuggled into Nathan’s bicep.  “You didn’t stand a chance the second I
laid eyes on you.”  She yawned.  “I had to have you.  And now I do.  And Gia. 
And I love you both so much.”

“Stella, you,
uh…you saved me.  Seriously.  I was dead inside before I met you and I know I
would have stayed that way.  You never gave up on me even when you should
have.  You love me unconditionally and help me see the good in myself.  You are
my best friend and I am so lucky I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Stella lifted her
fifty pound head and smiled up at Nathan through her tears.  “You saved me
too.  You made me feel beautiful when I thought that was impossible.  You put
up with all of my BS and antics and dramatics and love me anyway.”  She lifted
her head and Nathan kissed her gently.  Stella pulled back a few inches and
whispered, “And you are
my
best friend and I am so lucky I get to spend
the rest of my life with
you
.” 

   Stella’s
eyelids drooped a little and she was now full-on battling herself to stay awake
– beautiful declarations of love aside.

   Nathan set Gia
down in the bassinette, tucked the covers up over Stella’s chest, and kissed
her forehead tenderly.

   Stella snuggled
into the pillow, quickly drifting into sleep.  Knowing in her heart of hearts
that she could let go because whatever happened, Nathan would take care of
it.   

   Because her
Sergeant Stickler always did and always would. 

   “I love you,
Sergeant Stickler,” Stella murmured before falling completely asleep.

   “I love you
too, my gypsy.  More than life itself.”