Afterlife (11 page)

“Give me your hand!” By that he meant, form a hand, give him
something to hold on to; I understood that. I just wasn’t sure I could do it
anymore, or that it would do any good. No simple physical force could pull me
back from the vortex.

But I wanted to hold Lucas’s hand at least one more time,
even if I couldn’t do anything else. So with every ounce of my strength and
concentration, I thought about the place where my hand should be, and carved
out the image of the wrist, the palm, and the fingers. A soft blue form
appeared, fragile as a wisp of smoke. It was nothing like it should have been;
maybe this was what wraiths looked like just before they vanished forever.

Then Lucas wrapped something around my wrist.

The bracelet! I saw the coral and silver in the same second
that I felt a jolt of inner power. Within an instant, my body became solid, and
I fell hard to the floor. The answering pain was wonderful. It meant I was
real, and that I had escaped. Something about turning solid negated the power
of whatever it was that had grabbed me.

Lucas dropped to his knees and gathered me in his arms. In
horror, I saw the manifestation of the vortex that had nearly swallowed me — a
swirl of fog and darkness that had opened up within the library wall. As we
watched, though, it shrank and quieted, smoothing out into uneven plaster once
more.

“What the hell was that?” Lucas said, clutching me against
his chest. “Are you okay?”

“I think so.” My voice shook, and I felt a little like I’d
throw up, ifl still had a stomach. But the disorientation diminished each
moment. “Mrs. Bethany’s not just hunting the wraiths.
She’s .
..
trapping
them.”

“Is that what that was?” His eyes narrowed. “Stand back.”

Scooting backward, I put as much distance as I could between
me and the wall as Lucas went to the wall, ran his hand against it, and then,
with all his vampire strength, punched through. Fine motes of plaster dust
puffed out as shards of the wall fell to the floor.

“They’ll know somebody was here,” I said.

“Let ‘em know. We need to figure this out.” Lucas reached
into the wall and pulled out a small metal box — curiously shaped, with odd
curves and angles: a little like a seashell made of silver and obsidian. The
lid was open, revealing an interior of motl1er — of — pearl. At first I thought
it was no more than a lovely antique jewelry box, but then — as I focused on
the mother — of — pearl, on the living substance within, I felt its pull on me
anew. With the bracelet strengthening me and keeping me solid, I was in no
danger, but the sensation was still terrifying.

“Lucas, close it! Put it back!” I cried. He did so at once,
looking back at me in alarm. But as soon as the box was shut, I felt at ease
again.

As Lucas ran to my side, I said, “That’s a trap. A trap for
wraiths. Mrs. Bethany put one here. She could — she’s got to have them all over
the school. She’s hunting us and trapping us.” Why
?I
thought. What can she want with us? Is it only hate, or something more
?

He frowned as he cuddled me close. “jesus. Don’t ever come
back in here.”

“Not without the bracelet,” I said, with a glance down at
it. “That was good thinking.”

“Figured whatever was after you, you had a better chance if
you could hit back.”

I brushed my hand against his cheek. “You heard me. In
your
dream.”

“Yeah.” Lucas raked his fingers through my hair, “How did
you know about that nightmare? Were you trying to visit me, before?”

“I tried, but I couldn’t break through. I couldn’t make you see
me.”

His lips brushed against my forehead as he spoke. “We’ll
work on it. We can get better at it.”

“Okay.” I realized that this was the first moment Lucas had
truly seemed like himself since he’d risen from the dead. Saving me had given
him back a sense of purpose — a reason to be here.

And I realized that he was my reason to be here, too.

Lucas studied me in the dim moonlight, once again focused
and sure. “We’re going to fmd all these traps. Figure out a way to keep you
clear of them. Nothing’s going to happen to you, Bianca. Not again. There’s no
way I’m letting that happen.”

“And I’m going to take care of you.” I remembered how
frightened I had been for everyone I loved, even while the trap had been
sucking me in. Yes, I was dead now, but my heart remained alive. For Lucas’s
sake, and the sake of the people I cared about — for the love that endured
after death — I had to find a place in this world. If that meant I was never
wholly part of the living or undead worlds, well, I’d always been in — between.
In the shadows. I knew how to do it, and maybe I could get better at it.

Maybe it Wasn’t the afterlife preached from pulpits or
envisioned by painters who liked harps, wings, and fluffy clouds. But looking
out for the people I loved seemed like a pretty good way to spend eternity. As
Lucas held me tightly, I knew he felt the same way.

We still have something at stake, I realized. Something to
fight for.

LUCAS AND I STAYED UP MOST OF THE REST OF that night, curled
in each other’s arms out on the lawn. Death had made us immune to autumn’s
winds or tfue chill of the soft earth beneath us. So we spooned together
beneath one of the large oak trees, half covered by the first fallen leaves as
the wind bRew them over us for a blanket. The leaves were the colors of our
hair — deep red and dark gold. We were part of the fall. And, for the first
time in far too long, we were truly part of each other. “You haven ‘t said we
should leave Evernight,” I whispered.

“Don’t think I haven ‘t thought it.” Lucas nuzzled the side
of my face. “I hate knowing how dangerous this place is for you.
But .
. . I have to trust you to make your own call about
the risks. That’s the deal we made, and I’ll stick to it.”

With my head still dizzy from the trap in the library, and
the scratches on my shoulder sore, I wondered whether I needed to reassess the
risks at Evernight Academy. But until Lucas was steadier, I knew, remaining
here was our best option. “I’m just fine.” I kissed him, soft and deep.
“Nothing worse can happen to me. In fact — it’s like I finally see that so many
good things can still happen to me. That there’s a lot I can do here, for you
and for everybody else.”

Lucas half smiled. “Not a ghost, but an angel.”

“There’s a lot you can do here as a vampire. Think about how
many students my mother and father helped, or how often Balthazar was able to
bail us out. Being
dead .
. . it’s not the worst thing
that can happen.”

He was quiet for a while after that.
considering
.
“It’s just — this hunger.”

“I know.”

“If I ever snap, and if I hurt
someone …
kill! someone — ”

“You won’t.” I wanted badly to believe that, and to help him
believe it, too. “You’re strong, Lucas. As a kid, you made it thro111gh Black
Cross training that would’ve crushed some adults. You went undercover when you
were nineteen years old and you pulled it off. I mean, you fooled Mrs.

Bethany, and you might just be the only person who’s ever
done that for long.”

At that, he actuaUy laughed; it was a rueful laugh rather
than a happy one, but I’d take what I could get. It just felt so good, being
here with him without the weight of the world crushing us down.

I kept counting off points. “You think for yourself, which
is a lot rarer than it ought to be. You can admit when you’re wrong, which is
even rarer than that. You’re loyal, and you’re courageous, and you make
friendships that last forever. That’s all part of you. The best part of you.”

Very serious now, Lucas shook his head. “You’re wrong.”

“Listen to me
— ”

“You listen.” He snuggled more tightly against me. “You’re the
best part of me. Always.”

I closed my eyes and rested my head against his arm, finally
at peace — at least for one night.

 The next day, Evernight Academy continued along in its
usual whirl of activity — in its own way, I thought, more alive than most of
its student body. People jumbled together in the hallways, the vampires sleek
and sophisticated, the rest wondering vaguely why they couldn’t fit in.
Traveling down the hallways was scarier now, because I never knew where the
next trap might lie. But I took it slow and proceeded carefully. So far, so
good.

I was searching for Lucas, intending to follow him into
class. I wouldn’t distract him; he was honestly trying to do the course work,
as a way of killing time if nothing else. After our reunion last night, it felt
like enough just to be at his side, and I suspected he would feel the same way.

But then I saw someone who looked lonelier than Lucas had — my
mother.

Mom’s clothing was much the same as it had always been:
simple skirt, practical shoes, and a soft sweater. Her caramel — colored hair
was pulled back in the ponytail she’d worn as long as I could remember. But the
spring had left her step, and there was no light in her eyes as she trudged
down the hallway toward her twentieth — century history class.

When I drifted through the door of her classroom, she was
writing on the blackboard. I read the words along with the students: THE LOST
GENERATION.
l
saw a few familiar faces in the room,
most particularly Balthazar; he ‘d lived through this, and remained more hooked
— in than most vampires, but I realized he had probably enrolled in this class
in particular in order to stay close to my mom.

Oh, sure, I mused. Now you’re thoughtful. Why weren’t you
thinking al1ead when Lucas needed it the most? Balthazar had brought Lucas into
the fight with Charity knowing that Lucas Wasn’t himself — something I still hadn’t
gotten past. But for my mother, if not myself, I couldn’t help feeling some
gratitude toward him — and toward Patrice, who sat a few rows ahead and was
probably enrolled for the same reason, though she would never admit it.

“The Lost Generation. That’s what they called the people who
came of age during the First World War — or, as they called it then, the Great
War. Anybody know why that was?” Mom asked tiredly.

She was directing her question at the human students, of
course, or at least the vampires who had been turned after that era. It was an
unwritten rule at Evernight Academy that relying on historical knowledge you ‘d
lived through was too much like cheating.

Skye Tierney, who sat in the front row, raised her hand.
“Because the Second World War hadn
‘ t
happened yet.”

“Correct.” Morn’s gaze remained a couple inches above the
class, not quite engaged with them. Dark circles ringed her eyes. It looked
like she hadn’t slept well in weeks. “Because they couldn’t believe humaniry
could ever be that stupid twice.”

A couple of the vampires smirked, obviously thinking that
was a slam on human beings, instead of what it was — Mom being fatalistic.
Balthazar shut his eyes briefly as if trying to shield himself from their
stupidity.

My mother clutched her chalk in her hands, fine yellowish
powder coating her fingertips. Her gaze was distant, her voice softer than it
should ‘ve been for addressing a roomful of students. “World War I shattered
people’s beliefs in every aspect of their society. People could no longer
worship an aU — protecting God after so many of their sons and brothers died in
the trenches. Soldiers who had suffered from mustard gas and machine — gun fire
and starvation could no longer trust the governments and generals who had sent
them to the front with promises of a war that would last only a few months.
Women who had picked up the slack of war work in factories and managed at home
alone for years could never be ‘sheltered ‘ again.” Pens scratched on
notebooks; keyboards of laptops clicked. Everybody thought this was going to be
on the exam. I could tell this was just Mom getting lost in sad memories.

She continued, “Some of those women had lost everyone they’d
loved. Every promise they’d ever made to their children to keep them
safe .
. .

those
promises were broken. After
that, you could never — they could never believe again.”

Oh, Mom. I wanted to put my arms around her so badly. Did I
want to hold her and tell her it would be okay, or was I childish enough to
want her to reassure me
?

A few of the vampires — the older ones, who had been through
that time, too — looked as sad as my mother did; Balthazar suddenly seemed
acutely interested in his shoes. I realized I’d never asked what he did in that
war, if anything. Whatever had happened to him then might darken his memories,
or maybe he simply understood Mom’s mindset better than anyone else and felt
bad for her.

Reaching out to other people, I reminded myself. Taking care
of them, even if I happen to be mad at them right now. That’s what I’m here
for.

I went to his side. His fingers weren ‘t holding his pencil
very tightly — having witnessed these events, he apparently didn’t see the need
to take notes. So I took control of the pencil and wrote, within his grip, Do
you think she’s okay?

Balthazar sat upright very quickly, but he got over being
startled fast enough. His grip tightened as he took the pencil back from me.
No, I don’t.

He let the pencil slightly loosen again so that I could
reply. What about my father? Do you think he’s able to help her?

He asked me to leave his class. The reminder would be too
painful, he said. So that sounds like a no. Bianca, why don’t you appear to
them? I hate lying to them that you’re completely gone, forever.