Afterlife (8 page)

“From now on, take it for granted that I’m around.”

“Even when I’m in the shower?”

“You wish.”

After a glance from side to side, making certain that nobody
realized he was talking to “himself,” he murmured, “I think if she were going
to turn him away, she would’ve done it immediately. But she never would,
Biianca. Trust me.”

Despite everything he’d done for Lucas since his turning, I Wasn’t
ready to totally trust Balthazar again yet. He was the guy who’d led Lucas to
his death — the person who had gotten Lucas into this situation to start with.
Wasn’t he
?

I couldn’t take the uncertainty between us another second.
Instead I darted after Mrs. Bethany and Lucas, eager to hear what I could.

Mrs. Bethany lived in a carriage house at the edge of the
school grounds, a place I knew well. But I forgot one very basic thing about it
until I swept down toward the roof, ready to sink inside — and fell myself
shoved back violently. Of course, I realized. The roof.

Metals and minerals found in the human body, such as copper
and iron, repelled wraiths strongly. This was why Mrs. Bethany had chosen a
copper roof: to keep us out. The impact reminded me of the “blocked” areas of
Evernight, except that in this case, the entire place was shut off to me.

Well, if I couldn’t follow Lucas inside, I could try the
same thing I’d done back when I was a student — eavesdrop.

I curled into a soft cloud at the edge of one window, where
the branches of the nearest elm almost scraped the glass and would disguise me
in their shadows. This gave me a view of Mrs. Bethany’s desk — so neat and tidy
that everything was at right angles, with only a framed nineteenth century
gentleman’s silhouette as decoration. As I watched, she strode into the room,
as much in command as ever. Lucas followed her, shoulders tense and gaze wary,
the look he wore when he expected a fight.

“There is one question we must address before any other, Mr.
Ross,” Mrs. Bethany said as she took a seat behind her desk. “Where is Bianca
Olivier?”

Startled, I jumped, and the leaves around me rustled. She
glanced my way for only a second; no doubt she thought I was merely the wind.

Lucas sat heavily in the chair opposite her, gripping the
armrests hard. “Bianca’s dead.”

Mrs. Bethany said nothing. Her dark eyes remained fixed on
him in a silent demand for the whole truth.

He continued, “About six weeks ago, her health just
. ..
failed
. She didn’t want food.
Didn’t want blood. I tried taking her to the doctor, but she’d started to,
well, to change, so they didn’t know what to make of her anymore.”

“It must have been clear to you what needed to be done.”

Slowly, Lucas nodded. “Bianca needed to turn into a vampire
to stay alive. I asked her to kill me. I would’ve let her turn me into a
vampire, to save herself. But she wouldn’t do it.” His voice broke on the last
word, and he turned his head away from Mrs. Bethany.

My resurrection as a ghost might have lessened Lucas’s
grief, but I realized in that moment that the wounds he’d suffered when he
watched me die would scar him forever.

“You could not have prevented it,” Mrs. Bethany said. She didn’t
sound sympathetic, exactly, but her voice was slightly softer. “If Miss Olivier
didn’t transform you into a vampire, who did?”

“That would be Charity.” Lucas’s jaw tightened. A shudder of
pure hate passed through me. “We had a run — in right after Bianca died, back
in Philadelphia. I don’t know why she did it.”

“With Charity More, reason rarely enters into the equation.”
That was as close to a joke as I’d ever heard from Mrs. Bethany.

“I didn’t know what to do at first. It’s — I guess you know
how it is, when you change. Balthazar was around, trying to deal with his
sister, and he helped me out. I tried to talk to my mother, but she — she’s
Black Cross. “

Mrs. Bethany straightened, her eyes flashing. “You mean that
she attacked you.”

“Yeah.”

“Your own mother.” To my astonishment, I realized Mrs.
Bethany was feeling righteous outrage — on Lucas’s behalf. “Indecent. Shocking.
Hateful. The sort of behavior I would have expected from most members of Black
Cross, to be sure, but one would think that at least a mother’s love would
prove more powerful than their anti — vampire dogma.”

“Guess not,” he muttered.

Mrs. Bethany rose to her feet, walked around the desk to
Lucas’s side, and put her hand on his shoulder. If his wide eyes were any
indication, he was as surprised as I was. “It is unfortunate that you had to
learn the error of your ways in such a painful fashion. But you should know
that my sympathies are entirely with those who have suffered persecution by
Black Cross. Your past as a living man, and the mistakes you made then, have
now been wiped away. The sanctuary of Evernight Academy is yours. We will
protect you. We will teach you. You need not be alone any longer.”

For one half second, I actually liked Mrs. Bethany.

Lucas Wasn’t won over quite so easily. “Thanks. I mean that.
But it’s not going to be so simple. Those guys are about ready to stake me
already.”

“They’ll obey the rules.” Mrs. Bethany’s smile held a hint
of chill. “Leave that to me.”

“The human students
— ”
His voice
sounded strangled. “I’venever killed.”

“The urge is strong.” She spoke as though this were only to
be expect·ed. “In your case, perhaps, stronger than most — I see the signs. But
here you will have many guardians over your conduct; I daresay you are in less
danger of harming a human here than you would be in the outside world. In time,
you will discover how to be a part of the vampire world. You will become one of
us.”

Lucas shut his eyes for a moment, and I wondered if it was
in relief or despair.

LUCAS WALKED TO THE WROUGHT — IRON GAZEBO, staring after
Mrs. Bethany as she went inside to give the annual welcoming speech to the
student body. Finally sure that nobody else was watching, I dared to
materialize at his side.

“Hey,” he said. He half turned to see me and managed to
smile for my sake. “Right back where we first kissed.”

“The more things change.” As the breeze ruffled his dark
gold hair and the ivy leaves around us, I could imagine that we’d gone back to
the beginning. The sunlight seemed to pass through me, warming me throughout.
Despite the wind, my own red hair hung long and motionless, untouched, unreal.
“Why aren ‘ t you in there?”

“Mrs. Bethany gave me an exemption this go — round. Said she’d
try to find a way to explain to the vampire students and teachers to leave me
the hell alone without tipping off the humans. Me walking into a pack of
vampires before she gives the hands — off speech — no way am I doing that
unarmed.”

“She handled it better than I would’ve thought,” I said. “I
guess Mrs. Bethany takes the sanctuary thing here seriously.”

Lucas shrugged. “She claims she’s got my back, but all the
same, I’m glad Ranulf sneaked our weapons up here in his trunk.”

“Why not yours?”

“If Mrs. Bethany doesn’t search mine, she’s a fool. And that
lady’s no fool.”

I studied his face, reading the emotions he was trying to
hide. “You’re not frightened of the vampires. You never have been. It’s being
around the human students that gets to you.”

He grimaced. “I can’t look at Vic without thinking — Bianca,
I would’ve killed him. Vic. One of the best friends I’ve ever had. I’d have
slaughtered him just to eat.”

“Is that why you won’t be alone with him?” When he shot me a
look, I added, “Yeah, I noticed.”

“No, you didn’t,” Lucas said quietly. “It’s not just me. It’s
Vic, too. He finds ways to avoid being illone with me.” I could hear the
pain in his voice.

I put my arms around him; maybe it Wasn’t a real embrace,
but I could feel him next to me and knew he’d take some comfort from it. “He’ll
trust you again. It’s just going to take some time.”

“How long will it be before l trust myself?”

There was no answer to that. I said the only thing I could:
“I love you.”

“And I love you. That’s why I’m going to make this work. I
have to.”

 * * *
just
like Lucas was
learning to be a vampire for my sake, I was learning to be a ghost for his.
This meant I had to get the hang of this haunting thing.

I had the basics down: going invisible, appearing in my mist
form and!, when I had my bracelet or my brooch, becoming solid and lifelike
once more. Moving from place to place required some concentration, but it could
be done.

Haunting Evernight Academy, though — that was going to be a
lot tougher. I’d need to figure out where I could travel in the hallways and
where I couldn’t. Leaving trails of frost around wherever I went would tip off
the other students and teachers about a ghost, and while I wasn’t sure they
could do anything about it but scream. I didn’t intend to find out.

It was scary, to think about the myriad ways this could go
wrong. But holding back meant leaving Lucas alone, and that was something I couldn’t
do.

As he walked into the school I followed. The heavy wooden
doors were simple enough to slip through, maybe because they, like me, had once
been alive. Once again, I entered the Evernight Academy great hall. Dozens of
students milled around, each wearing the uniform sweater with the school crest:
a shield emblazoned with two ravens on either side of a sword. To my surprise,
a wave of nostalgia swept through me. Maybe I hadn
‘ t
often been happy at Evernight — but sometimes I had. This was where I’d fallen
in love and made so many good friends. This was where I’d lived.

My happiness lasted only a moment, though, as I focused once
more on Lucas. Nobody attacked him, or said anything to him, which had to count
as a positive sign; apparently Mrs. Bethany’s speech had done the trick. But if
nobody planned on killing Lucas, nobody planned on forgiving and forgetting
either. Every vampire student stared at him with undisguised loathing. Lucas
didn’t slow down — he wasn
‘ t
a guy to crumple
because of a little glaring — but that didn’t mean he liked it.

We encouraged him to come here because we wanted him to feel
comfortable being a vampire, I thought. How can that happen if eveqbody else
nijects him?

Every time he walked past a human student, his whole body
went tense; I could see it in the set of his shoulders and the lines of his
face. But he determinedly didn’t look directly at them, and his steps never
slowed. His resolve was as strong as his hunger, at least for now.

Lucas kept going, heading toward the north tower where the
guys roomed. I stayed with him. A few flakes of ice crystallized on the
windowsill nearest me, and hurriedly I floated higher, closer to the ceiling.
Until I learned how to avoid creating frost, it might be better for me to stay
up high, where at least nobody was likely to see it.

The crowd began murmuring, as though there were some
commotion. I glanced back and saw that the students were parting — that someone
was shoving them aside to get closer to Lucas. Apparently Mrs. Bethany hadn’t
managed to calm everybody down.

I folded myself tightly in a corner. Lucas cocked his head,
hearing the danger before he saw it, and turned to face his would — be
attacker. Probably it was some younger vampire guy, only at Evernight for a few
laughs, ready to turn into a killer again the first time he felt like it — like
Erich, that jerk who’d stalked Raquel during our first year here. Lucas would
be able to handle somebody like that easily, I knew.

But when the attacker appeared, it was somebody Lucas couldn’t
handle. Somebody I couldn
‘ t
handle.

It was my mother.

Mom stood in front of him, fists at her sides, eyes wild.
“Is it true? Tell me.” Her voice shook. “I want you to look me in the face and
tell me it’s true.”

Lucas looked like he’d been punched in the gut. As he opened
his mouth to answer.
though
, Balthazar pushed his way
to their side and grabbed Mom’s arm. “Not here,” he said quietly.

Mom didn’t even turn her head, like she couldn’t see or hear
Balthazar, but after a moment she nodded and stalked toward one of the
staircases. It was like she was daring Lucas not to follow her, but he did.
Balthazar started to come, too, but Mom shot him a look that froze him in place
on the stairs.

She led him into a small office on the second floor. I went
along, although I desperately didn’t want to hear what I knew had to come next.

As soon as he’d shut the door behind them, Mom said again,
“Tell me it’s true, Lucas.”

“It’s true,’ Lucas said. He looked deader than he had the
night after he’d been killed. “Bianca died.”

My mother stumbled backward, like she’d been spun so hard
she was dizzy. Her face crumpled into tears. “She was supposed to live forever,”
she whispered. “Bianca was going to be our little girl forever.”

“Mrs. Olivier, I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry? Sorry? You convince our daughter to leave her home
and her parents and forsake the immortality that’s rightfully hers — her
birthright — and she dies, she’s gone forever, and the only thing you can say
is sorry?”

“That’s all I can say!” Lucas shouted. “There aren’t words
for this! I would ‘ve died for her. I tried to. I failed. I hate myself for it,
and ifl could take it back I would,
but .
. . but…” His voice choked on a sob. He steeled himself and managed to say, “If you
want to kill me, I won’t stop you. I won’t even blame you.”

My mother shook her head. Tears streaked her face, and a few
caramel — colored strands of hair stuck to her flushed cheeks. “If you hate
yourself as much as you say — if you loved her a tenth as much as we loved her —
then you deserve immortality. You deserve to live forever, so you can suffer
forever.”