A Wolf for Haru (7 page)

Haru stiffened. Nothing about Saitou that day had seemed merciful or concerned. Surprisingly, he felt the anger that rarely surfaced around Saitou begin to thrash in his breast. He was hard pressed to stop it from flowing over and spilling into his blood. Hands trembling, he pushed himself up and away from Saitou, curling his knees up to his chest as soon as he was once again seated on the mattress. Questions he had always wanted to ask flowed out of him before he even realized he had spoken.

“Why? Why did you have to do anything at all?

Why couldn’t you have stopped him, let me go and not hurt me at all?” He was shouting, an action that he was unaccustomed to, and already he could feel the strain it put on his voice.

Saitou was up and pacing in the next second, his movements so fast that Haru barely registered him leaving the bed.

“This was not how I intended for this conversation to take place. I wanted you to trust me more, for you to be surer of me before I broached this topic. I had no other choice, there was no other option, no simply stopping them and allowing you to go on your way.” He scrubbed a hand harshly over his face.

It was a gesture that Haru knew he had adopted for himself years ago after meeting Saitou. “There’s always a choice Saitou. Always.”

A tense shake of the head negated his statement. “Not in this, Haru, not in this. If I could have protected you from it I would have.”

“Then why didn’t you?” The question froze Saitou in position, halting his frantic pacing and bringing his gaze back up to latch onto Haru’s own watery one. “Why did you abandon me? You promised me you would stay. You
promised.
” The tears in his eyes matched the ones in his voice.

A loud snarl ripped through the room.

Haru recognized it as the warning it was and shrunk back against the wall with a whimper.

Saitou’s hands were in his own hair then, long fingers grabbing large handfuls until Haru was afraid he intended to rip it out. Sucking in a sharp breath, the wolf visibly shuddered and tried to regain control of his temper. After a moment he seemed to relax and slowly approached the bed once more, pausing a hair’s-breadth away from Haru’s huddled form.

Saitou’s voice was deceptively soft when he spoke. “Hush. I would never hurt you, not again.

It just makes my temper flare when I think about leaving you. I apologize if I scared you.”

Saitou reached out strong hands and gently pulled Haru forward onto his knees burying his face in his neck.

“I’ll answer your questions just…let me hold you for a moment.”

Still frightened but determined, Haru allowed himself to lean against the hot, broad frame in front of him. They stayed that way for a moment, allowing the silence to wash over and around them. It helped to calm each of their tempers.

They finally parted and returned to their former positions by mutual agreement, Haru curling back up on the bed and Saitou resuming his pacing. His stride was more thoughtful this time around instead of anxious.

After a handful of minutes spent in an almost companionable silence, Saitou spoke. “My parents never liked you. Not after I told them about your abilities shortly after we met. The thought that their precious heir had become entangled with a human of dubious pedigree and ability made them seethe with rage. It got worse the older we grew and they could see that you were the only one I had any interest in.”

Haru was aware of that, had witnessed their dislike for him first hand.

“That summer before school began they threatened me. Told me either I
discontinued
our friendship or they would. I refused and as a result, we fought horribly. They railed at me day in and day out, but I held my ground and refused to budge.”

He smiled then, more of a grimace really, and his next words were soft. “I told them about our promise, begged them to understand. That without me you would have no one. They refused to listen. I told them about the other children, about how cruel they all were, how you needed my protection. It was a mistake. The next day they gave me an ultimatum. Either I left you alone or they would send me away, either to school or a family member. I thought about lying to them, but I knew that Orochi and the others would be watching us. In the end, I had no choice. I had to leave you to keep you safe. If I had been sent away, there would have been no one there to watch over you.”

Haru’s eyes were wide with disbelief even as hindsight forced him to admit that the explanation held the ring of truth. Still there were things that did not sit right with him. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth? I would have understood. It would have made things so much easier if I had known. It would have hurt less than thinking that you hated me because you had finally realized just how unnatural I am!”

“Do not,” Saitou’s voice was a harsh and commanding tone, “ever say such things about yourself. You are not unnatural, Haru. I wanted to tell you the day you came to my house, but they were there. I hoped and prayed that you would come back, that you would try again, but you never did. I even tried to get you alone a couple of times when Orochi and the others were not around, but you avoided me like the plague. I understood of course, but it was painful all the same.” Saitou fell silent after that, seemingly lost in his own memories and the pain that they had called forth.

Haru remembered staring longingly at the wolf when he believed no one would notice, but running in the other direction if Saitou so much as looked at him. It hurt in an indescribably way to think that things would have been so much different if he had simply been braver. If he had conquered his own nerves and taken a chance, then his life would have been easier in some ways.

He still had one very important question that he needed to ask, something that he needed made absolutely clear.

“When you told me that the scar pleased you, that you enjoyed the thought of me wearing it, what exactly did you mean about that?”

Saitou perked to attention at his question and stepped forward almost eagerly.

Only Haru’s upheld hand stopped the wolf from reaching out and drawing him into an embrace.

Saitou’s voice was husky again, the emotional turmoil of only moments before unable to completely bank the desire in his gaze. “As I told you before, it is a mark that I gave you, a symbol of the power I held over you. Seeing it, knowing that it would be with you forever gave me great satisfaction. It continues to do so. Knowing that you would go through life with the mark, that you could not be rid of it, was a heady thing. Knowing that no matter what happened, you would be forced to remember my touch every time you looked in the mirror was beyond pleasurable.

Knowing that no one else would ever be able to touch you without realizing I had been there first was ecstasy. I have wanted to mark you since I was a child, Haru, and knowing that I finally managed to do so, even if it was not in the way I intended, was and is a powerful aphrodisiac.”

He could understand the wolf’s reasoning. His people were notoriously protective and possessive of their own after reaching adulthood. If Saitou spoke the truth, then knowing that he had managed to mark someone he believed belonged to him would be a powerful feeling. Given that train of thought, he could also understand another reason why he had been unwilling to allow Orochi to continue. Saitou would never allow another to mark his territory.

Haru cleared his mind with a quick shake of his head. He would take the chance that he had denied himself in the past. He still knew that another betrayal from Saitou, no matter how well the first one had been explained, would be enough to break him. He also knew that if he did not take this opportunity, did not reach for the hand Saitou himself had extended, he would spend the rest of his life questioning his decision.

Mind made up, he rose silently to his knees and held out a slightly unsteady hand to the anxiously waiting wolf.

Saitou stepped forward at once, entangling their fingers together and staring at them as if he had never before seen such a sight. When he raised them up to meet Haru’s, his eyes held within them an undeniable question.

Haru smiled slightly and with a light tug on the hand that held his own, he urged the wolf forward. Still smiling, he leaned forward and, for the second time that evening, laid his lips ever so softly against Saitou’s. With a single kiss, he acknowledged his choices and conveyed them to his companion.

With a sound stuck somewhere between a growl and a sob, Saitou wrapped his remaining arm around Haru’s waist, drawing the smaller male’s body firmly against his own.

They both knew there was no going back to the way things were now. They would either soar together or they would clutch each other desperately as they crashed and burned.

The world it seemed was determined to intrude upon them at every turn. They had spent the rest of the night entangled in one another, swearing their devotion and longing to each other with soft touches and harsh kisses. They were happy in their own little universe, their world ending where the front door of Haru’s rooms began.

So it was when the harsh light of morning crept through the windows, bringing with it the knowledge of classes and fellow students only a day away that they both groaned heartily. Haru buried his face in the warm, supple skin of Saitou’s chest and sighed harshly. He did not want to move, did not want to face the world that was slowly waking around them. Did not want to face the masses that he knew would soon be milling around the campus. Masses that he knew he would soon be forced to join. He wanted nothing more than to stay where he was forever, to forget about the outside world and to bask in Saitou’s presence like a plant in the sun.

“We can’t stay here forever, I do hope you realize that. No matter how much we wish it could be so.”

Saitou’s rough and amused voice rumbled beneath his ear and Haru would not have been able to suppress his answering smile if he had tried. It was almost as if they had never truly fallen out of tune with each other. As if they would not be walking out of their safe den and into the lions’ pit in only a day’s time.

That thought was enough to wipe the smile off Haru’s face. He forced his body to move until he sat huddled, his arms wrapped around his knees and a frown playing across his brow. He kept his eyes downcast, unable to bring himself to meet Saitou’s now-concerned gaze as he asked the question ripping through his mind.

“Saitou…what are we going to do now? About your parents, I mean. They won’t be pleased when they find out about us being together again.” A terrible thought wormed its way across Haru’s mind and his breath hitched in reaction as his voice came out at barely above a whisper. “Unless you don’t mean for them to know. Unless you plan for this to remain a secret.”

He was scrambling to get out of the bed in the next second, determined to put some distance between them as that horrible thought began to eat at him. His mind was racing. What if after everything he was meant to be a secret, to be hidden in the shadows and only retrieved when Saitou felt the urge? The wolf was rich, powerful, if he wished for such a thing, then Haru knew he could make it so.

He was brought up short by Saitou’s hand wrapping itself firmly and yet gently around his wrist. The wolf reeled him backward until he tumbled down onto the bed, once again cocooned in the scorching embrace that he had never thought he would experience.

“You’ve let your mind run away with you again, Haru. You did not allow me the chance to reply before you jumped to conclusions. I realize once again that regaining the level of trust we once shared is going to be a long and difficult task.”

Saitou was the one to sigh this time, a warm puff of air across Haru’s ear that had him shivering against his will before he once again spoke.

“As for my parents, they are no longer a factor in this relationship. This past summer I invoked the Right of Choice and my father saw fit to not contest my wishes. Indeed, he has abdicated his title, officially naming me his successor and acknowledging my right to choose a mate as I see fit. They no longer have a right to interfere. They can no longer keep us apart.”

Saitou snorted then, a rough and uncivilized sound that Haru was not used to hearing from the normally refined wolf.

“As if I would make the same foolish mistake twice in my life. As if I would allow them to take you from me again. They would be rewarded with only pain and suffering, with blood if necessary, if they even attempted such a thing.”

Haru could practically feel his heart warming at the conviction he could clearly hear in Saitou’s voice. The wolf meant what he said, meant it when he swore that they would not be torn apart again. Yet that tiny persistent part of him wanted to hear the answer to the other part of his accusation. Before he could voice his question, Saitou seemed to anticipate his need and answered readily.

“As for our relationship remaining a secret, I would never allow such a thing.”

One of those deliciously hot hands rose and tunneled their way through Haru’s hair as they seemed so fond of doing. Haru could not repress his almost broken moan when Saitou’s mouth swooped down on him, sharp fangs nipping erotically at his exposed throat. Haru shuddered helplessly as wet, hot kisses were trailed teasingly across his skin.

The wolf’s voice was rough and harsh, his chest filled with a rumbling growl when next he spoke.

“I would have you cleave to me, to become one with my soul. I would have you wear my mark and share my body. I would have you in all of the ways you know of and many more that you do not. I would own you so totally that no other would ever be able to look at you without seeing my possession.”

Haru’s mouth was caught in a harsh kiss, a wild thing made of lips and tongue and fangs, the taste of the wolf drowning out all other thoughts in his head until only Saitou himself remained.

The sheer thought of being owned in such a way caused Haru’s heart and blood to heat until he could almost feel it boiling beneath his skin.

Never in all of his existence had he ever thought anyone would want him in such a way.